Hermione had spent an entire week without talking to her husband and she was perfectly fine with that, thank you very much. If he wanted to act like a child, he would be treated as one.
She couldn't help but feel how heavy the tension was in the house as they stomped past one another, trying their best to avoid the other. She did her best to stay out of his way, knowing his schedule and could work around it, so their contact was to a bare minimum.
The thing that hurt her the most was that he hadn't even tried to apologise and was making it abundantly clear that he was perhaps falling out of love with her and that tore at her heart tenfold. She tried to brush the crushing feeling off, but it was hard when she had to see him every day.
What hurt her the most through all of this was Ron never even gave Lincoln a second thought. For a baby that was meant to be his son, she assumed he would at least want to be involved with him, but he was cutting his nose off in spite of his face, she thought sadly to herself.
All she knew was she couldn't go on walking on eggshells, and something would have to give soon.
o-o-o-o-o
Just like the previous Saturday, Hermione trudged up the two steps to his front door with her sleeping son tucked in the crook of her left arm and knocked with her right hand and waited. Sighing sadly, she jumped slightly when the door opened sooner than she had anticipated which told her that perhaps he had been looking forward to this visit and was hovering by the door waiting.
"You look terrible," was the first thing he said as soon as he laid eyes upon her. He was getting good at critiquing her and ensuring he told he when she looked her worse.
"Thanks…" she bit, sarcastically. "With everything I've been through in the past week, it's a wonder I am even a functioning human being." She walked into his home and felt the door close behind her as she took the path to his sitting room.
"Sit," he ordered, pointing to the lounge she sat on the week previous before disappearing and reappearing moments later with a pot of tea, teacups and a stack of biscuits, placing them on the small table in the middle of the room.
Leaning down, he plucked his son from her arms and sat down. "Drink." He inclined his head towards the teapot. "You look like you could do with a break."
Leaning forward, she poured two generous cups of tea and plucked one up. Holding it between both hands she leaned back and sipped it happily. The warm liquid snaked its way down her throat and sat in her stomach as she relaxed visibility in the chair like a slight weight had been lifted and she realised perhaps he had tainted the tea with a calming potion, and she was thankful for that.
"Are you going to tell me what is bothering you today?" He asked gently, leaning forward and with his free arm, he took his own tea.
She let out a deep, audible breath mingled with a sigh. "Its-"
"Ron?" He cut her off abruptly before sipping his tea, watching her critically over his teacup.
"How did you know?" She asked in genuine question.
"That deep exhale you let out. I knew it wasn't something trivial that was getting you down. Also, he is probably the only thing in your life that would cause you this much grief."
"We had a fight last weekend after I left here." Leaning forward, she took a biscuit gratefully and nibbled on it. She'd hardly eaten the past week, and this was just what she needed to fill the giant hold in her stomach.
"No surprise there," he mumbled under his breath. "Let me guess, he was so heartbroken that you didn't take his son to watch him play quidditch."
"Ding, ding, ding. We have a winner. Anyway, during a heated argument, he told me he was falling out of love with me and having a baby was a bandaid solution to a hopeless situation and I don't know if he was just saying that to be hurtful, or if he really meant it. I know we all say things we regret in the heat of the moment, and I hope that was just the case here."
Relative silence ensued for a few minutes. The only sound was the sleeping babies' gentle breaths and the sipping of tea from cups as Severus sat in deep thought.
"When a male says something like that, generally, they mean what they say. We aren't complex creatures that say one thing and mean another as my experience with women has been." He gently rocked the baby in his arm while sipping on tea with the other hand, making it look like it was the easiest and most natural thing to ever come to him.
She waved a dismissive hand through misty eyes. "I don't want to burden you with my marital issues. I'm sure listening to me, one of your least favourite people go on about how bad their marriage is would be the last thing you want to hear. But," she let out a sad sigh, "the truth is I don't have a neutral party I can vent to. Every single one of my friends is Ron's friend and vice versa. Ginny and I get on well but again, she is his sister, so I don't have a listening ear who won't run back and tell him what I have said."
"You aren't one of my least favourite people and I am more than happy to be a listening ear to your problems. Why burden yourself and carry these issues alone when you can halve the burden and share it with another person." He leaned forward and placed his empty teacup on the small table with a gentle clatter and leaned back, cradling the baby with both of his arms.
A small, genuine smile spread across her face and her eyes lit up, followed by a small, hearty chuckle. "Remember the time I-"
"Set me on fire? Yes, vividly," he guffawed, trying not to wake the baby. "It was around that time I started to really respect you as a student. It was clear you were both bright and ruthless and didn't care who you took down. If they were in your way, you would find a way around them. I guess they were the qualities that gave you the drive and ambition to go on and became one of the best Aurors the ministry has ever seen."
"And the time you threw yourself in front of us despite Lupin coming at us in full transformation without even a second thought or a glance backward. That was the time I realised perhaps you weren't as maleficent as everyone assumed you were," she sighed forlornly, watching her son stir in his father's arms.
"Did everyone really fear me at Hogwarts?" He asked curiously, looking down at Lincoln, whose eyes were slowly opening and looking around.
"Yes!" she exclaimed enthusiastically. "People were petrified of you. You were so intimidating. Why do you think Neville's boggart took the form of you? You were literally that poor boy's worst nightmare. He'd often wake in the middle of the night emitting blood-curdling screams because you were haunting his nightmare."
"I didn't think I came across as that horrible. I certainly didn't mean to."
"I think a lot of it had to do with you being a Death Eater. That made people almost piss their pants whenever you even looked at them. You also had an aura of mystery around you that was both incredibly intriguing and petrifying."
Rummaging in her bag, she pulled out a bottle and gave it to him, noticing her son's gasps were soon going to turn to ear-piercing screams if he didn't get his milk soon.
Severus made a reach for the plastic, his fingers gently brushing against Hermione's as he did so and they both felt a jolt as warm skin touched warm skin. Hermione looked away slightly blushing and Severus quickly averted his gaze and guided the bottle to his son's mouth.
Eyes flicking towards her discreetly, he noticed her cheeks were still flushed, and she was looking out the window, trying to compose herself. A small smile flittered across his features as he mused over the way a slight touch had such effect on her.
A single ray of morning sun fought its way through the concrete jungle of houses and was bathing the woman's gentle features in the mid-morning glow, highlighting the sadness on her face and the confusion in her eyes.
He liked Hermione. She was sweet, attractive and intelligent to boot. He would be lying if he said he didn't think about sleeping with her again and holding her warm, inviting body against his beaten and broken one. The one night they had spent together differed from any other woman he had slept with, and he couldn't pinpoint the reason.
She turned her head back towards him. Lightning fast, he averted his gaze to his son, who was drinking gleefully.
"If you ever need somewhere to stay, if things get too unbearable at home, you are always welcome here," he said airily, stroking his son's forehead with the back of his hand gently.
"Thank you, Severus. I truly appreciate the offer," her voice was sincere as she watched the two of them together. She smiled to herself, the dynamic between Severus and Lincoln was organic and easy to watch but any interaction Ron had ever had with him was forced and messy and she wondered if deep down a father and son can have a natural bond just as a mother and child would. It made sense, she thought to herself.
o-o-o-o
"You didn't come again," Ron bit darkly as he sat beside Hermione at the kitchen table later that night. Contempt swirled deep in his eyes and acid was lacing in his tone.
"You know I hate quidditch," she muttered sourly under her breath.
"I don't care what you do and do not like, Hermione. I want one simple thing from you, and you are determined to deny me."
"Ron, stop. I will not argue with you any further over a stupid quidditch match. I've seen one, I've seen them all, so please respect my decision not to drag our son out so I can sit there bored out of my brain while you fly around on a broom. I'd rather watch paint dry."
"Why don't you tell me how you really feel, Hermione," he bit savagely. "It's ok for you to spend the money I make doing something you hate so much."
"Again, I've made my own money to spend, and you know it, so stop trying to turn everything around on me and carry on like you are the high and mighty one here." She stood, pushing the chair a good meter across the room with the force in which she stood. Ron shadowed her and stood as well, towering over her, a good head and shoulders taller. He could intimidate at the best of times, but even more so when he was irate and being irrational.
"I'm over this, Hermione. I am over living like this. Over you and your selfishness and I am over having to feel as if I am not welcome in my home. You've changed, and it isn't for the best," Ron's voice raised a few octaves as he took another step closer to Hermione.
"I haven't changed at all," she said in a cool, even voice, trying not to show that he was intimidating her, heart hammering madly against her chest. "I'm still the same person."
"You really aren't. You've changed, every day you are changing, and I don't feel you are the same girl I fell in love with, Hermione."
"Well, Ron. Maybe I have changed. People change and grow; we aren't meant to stay the same person we have been throughout our lives. I'm a mother now. I am no longer responsible just for myself but an entire human being who is reliant on me for their comfort and survival. I had a child two lousy weeks ago and you think I am just going to bounce back and be the same person pre-child? It doesn't work like that, Ron! You do not know what is happening to me and my hormones. My uterus is still shrinking back to its pre-baby size after it was stretched 500 times the usual size, and you wonder why I am snappy and have changed. How about we stretch your scrotum 500 times larger than it is supposed to be and see how your attitude changes."
"That's no excuse for the attitude," his voice deep as he stepped towards her again, only mere centimetres separating them.
"I have an attitude?" She asked whisper-quiet, eye twitching slightly as she spoke. "You're the one pushing me further and further away daily. You don't even want to touch me anymore."
"That's bullshit and you know it, Hermione. I've seen the look in your eye when we make love. You are ten thousand miles away and may as well not even be there. You make it hard to be faithful to you when I have women throwing themselves at me every single match day and you are off doing whatever is so secretive. Don't think I haven't noticed; I've sent Ginny around twice now to get you and you haven't been here."
She ignored the last part and focused on the rest of the argument. "Well, go sleep with them if that is what you want to do, Ronald," she seethed. Taking off her wedding ring, she slammed it on the kitchen table. "Don't let me stop you from spreading your seed around the furthest corners of the earth. You want me gone, I'm going, and I'm taking Lincoln with me!" She stormed from the kitchen, heavy footfalls could be heard all the way up the hallway and to the baby's nursery.
She knew that technically she was no better than him after sleeping with Severus, but that was a one-time deal and she did it for a reason, not just for the sake of it. If she kept telling herself that, her infidelity wouldn't weigh so heavily upon her psyche.
She came back ten minutes later with the large baby bag swinging from her shoulder and the baby in her arms. "I'm going and don't bother looking for me."
"Oh, no, wherever will you go?" He spoke sarcastically. "Two doors down to Harry's house, or over to my mother's house for the night? You've got no other friends and no family, so it won't be very hard to find you."
"Don't even bother trying to find me. You never will." Jutting her chin out defiantly, she walked out of the door.
o-o-o-o
Inhaling sharply, she stood at his door, wondering what he could be doing behind it. Would it upset him she had landed upon his doorstep at ten at night, or would he welcome her with open arms?
He told her she was welcome into his home whenever she may need it, but right now, she felt embarrassed standing here. She didn't want to admit that her marriage was failing and having to seek refuge with her former potions master was just the icing on the cake.
Knocking gently, she stood and waited with bated breath, jostling the babe into a more comfortable position. She waited, and she waited. Worry gnawed in the pit of her stomach as every second ticked on by not knowing what to do if Severus never answered.
Taking in another deep breath, and rapped her knuckles hard against the door again and waited. Every second seemed to tick by glacially before the rattling of the brass handle and the creaking of tired hinges filled her ears. A small stream of light cascaded out of the door causing her to squint.
"Hermione?" He asked, surprised. Stepping back to allow her passage into his home before closing the door gently behind her.
"I'm sorry if this isn't appropriate, but I need somewhere to stay for the night. Please," she asked, tight jawed.
He noticed her eyes were full of worry, mingled with uncertainty. Plucking his son from her arms, he nodded. "I told you-you are welcome here anytime, Hermione. I'd never turn my child nor the mother of my child away in their time of need. I'm assuming you had another fight?"
He noticed as she extended her arm out to hand him the baby, there was no flash of precious metal around her finger and it piqued his interest. Was it over?
She noticed him looking at her hand and spoke. "I took it off after our fight. He said I was making it hard to remain faithful because I didn't go to a stupid quidditch match, and he apparently has women throwing themselves at him." She snorted derisively at the remark.
"The women must be in possession of guide dogs," he drawled huskily, touching the small of her back with his free hand and guiding her down the hallway to his bedroom.
"You can sleep in here. Merlin knows you need the rest. I'll take the guest room and the baby so you can get a full night's sleep. I assume your buffoon of a husband hasn't once gotten up during the night to feed."
"How'd you guess?" Voice passive as she sat down upon his bed, looking up at him rocking their son.
"Just a hunch," tone sarcastic as he sat beside her. "You're too good for him, Hermione. You always have been."
"I'm flattered you would think and say such a thing, Severus. I know people grow and change and maybe getting married straight out of Hogwarts wasn't my finest moment, but I was in love, I still love him for some stupid reason, and we have both grown apart over the past year and a half that much is clear. I'm over constantly being at one another's throat. It is giving me terrible anxiety knowing that my life now is just one potential argument away from imploding in spectacular style. "
"Well. I can't tell you what to do, Hermione. Your life is your own to live, but I can advise you based on my own life experiences. You will rarely mend a relationship when it has hit the end of its tether like this. You can try to put as many band-aids on the cracks as they appear, but eventually, they will fall off and it will leave you with the gaping wounds to deal with again."
"There is a lot to deal with. I take marriage seriously and I don't want to throw that away."
"Seriously enough to sleep with me?" A raise of his brow was all he needed to get his point across. and watched as she tried to string a sentence together.
"I. Well. It," she began, flustered. "It was for a reason," she finally composed herself.
"Everything happens for a reason, Hermione," he whispered before standing and leaving the room without a second glance back, cradling his son in his arms.
It left Hermione wondering… Did everything really happen for a reason? She wasn't one to believe in divine intervention and the universe guiding people, but maybe, for once, this was the only answer to her predicament.
A/N: Merry Christmas, everyone! I hope you all have an amazing day. This time of year is my busiest time for work (Pet Sitter) so I will do my best to update, but it is unlikely you will see anything for this story until mid-January.
-Aliasmel1