Lightsbane1905: Thank you for understanding and thanks for saying that. I was really hoping that I was getting better. Getting better at writing is the main reason that I am writing these stories at the moment. No don't worry the m/m is not Merlin and Mithian (I am actually having fun writing her, I didn't think I would.) To be honest I honestly don't read a lot of fanfic. I have done so more in the past. The problem I have is that there have been a few stories that I have liked and ending up using ideas from it in my stories. Not really copying just being inspired. So I have chosen not to read that much out of worry that I may copy anyone's ideas. That said, yeah sure what is your rec. I would also like to ask you a favour. I don't know if you remember but a few chapters ago I said that the person that wrote the 100th review would get to name a female character that is coming up in a few chapters, around 27 I think. As you are the only one reviewing I would like you ask you to name the character. That is if you want to that is. Thank you again.

The great hall was filled with the sound of many low voices engaging in conversation with one another. The knights from the two Kingdoms were engaged in friendly banter. The rest of the court gushed over the lavish banquet and how beautiful the Princess Mithian looked in her gold dress. There had been no formal speech by the King before the banquet began. There was nothing left to say. It had all been said in the earlier speech. So he now sat between the visiting Princess and his unacknowledged future Queen. Neither woman spoke to each other. This was not done out of any hostilely towards each other. When their eyes meet on the few insistences when they allowed their eyes to glance in the others direction it was clear that their silence was due to comfortability rather than hostilely. The only thing that they could talk about really was not something that either seemed willing to talk about.

Caught in the middle Arthur, literally and figuratively did not know which way to turn. He was deeply unsure of where he stood with Gwen. She said that she understood that be had to put Camelot first. That just made him love her all the more. She was the most understanding and supportive person he knew. Which made him hate himself a little. Were all of this left them he honestly did not know. He loved her that was about the only thing that he was completely sure about. That and if it was just up to him, if he did not have the responsibility of a whole kingdom on his shoulders, didn't have to care what other people thought, then he would have married her a long time ago. He hated all the time that they had wasted and the time he knew they were still wasting. It however was not so simple.

Mithian did her best to relieve some of the tension, by trying to engage both Arthur and Gwen in conversation. Talking about how lovey the kingdom was and that Arthur had to come and visit her father soon. This became very difficult very quickly. As there was not a lot, if anything that they had in common. The one thing that came to her mind was something that she was unsure if she should bring up or rather someone. Morgana. How the new King would respond to her bring up his sister she didn't know. Any more than she knew how the former maid would react to the bringing up of her former mistress. The women whose place she had almost completely taken up in the court. A cruel thought crossed her mind, but she quickly pushed it aside. The quite girl on the other side of Arthur didn't seem to be the kind of person that would scheme and manipulate her way to a position of power. If she knew of the secret engagement between Gwen and Arthur than she may have not as quickly dismissed the idea. Though.

When the mostly empty plates of food had been cleared away from the tables, Gwen waited a few minutes then feeling that it was now acceptable for her leave did so. She made her excuses and bowed to the King and Princess before she left. Arthur watched her leave. He looked like he wanted to say something but couldn't find the right words or the courage to say what he wanted to.

"The banquet has been lovely." Mithian's voice came out a little higher than she meant it to, making her nervousness all the more apparent. Arthur turned to face her offering her a smile and nod in reply. "I'm also looking forward to the tournament tomorrow."

"So it seems all women enjoy seeing men fight for their attention." The king couldn't help but tease.

The look of shock on her face at his response made him worry about what he had said. He forgot that not all women enjoyed and could give as good as they got in a verbal back and forth. Just the few women that he had been close to had. Mithian was a quitter person. Thought very carefully about what she said before she said it. Like most of the women of the court that he had grown up with.

"Well….that depends greatly on the skill. The knights of my kingdom are highly skilled. It will take a lot for your men to impress me I'm afraid."

He couldn't stop himself as a laugh left his mouth at Mithian's comeback. It seemed that he misjudged her. She too it seemed was like the other women in his life, had more to her than just being a quiet agreeably follower. "Not easily impressed then my lady." Now that he knew of a way to talk to her he could not stop himself.

"I have been spoiled I'm afraid."

"That is not something that one normally admits to." She let out a faint laugh.

Standing a little to their right Merlin stood, rolling his eyes. He knew Arthur well enough to know that he did not mean to flirt with the Princess. It was just the way he was. He only had three ways of communicating, banter, bickering and insulting. It was therefore not his fault that banter when used with a women may be viewed as flirting. It was the only way that he knew how to talk to them. Bickering only worked with Morgana and he was too much of a gentlemen, at least in this area to insult a women. Though again Morgana was the only exception to this rule.

"No it's not, but I believe that one must know what their flaws are."

"That is very true."

Merlin fought back the urge to laugh. Like Arthur would evet admit willingly to having any flaw.

"So what's yours." She leaned in a little closer, a smile quickly spreading across her face.

Merlin now subtly took a small step closer so that he could hear what Arthur's answer to this was going to be. He just had to hear it, so that he could use it against him for a very long time to come.

"I…um."

Mithian laughed a little though she did try and hide it.

"I can be a perfectionist." He finally settled on.

It was an almost shrill Laugh from Merlin that perforated the conversation this time. He caught himself in time a little to turn the laugh into a kind of cough

"Are you quite alright Merlin." Arthur said while glaring at the servant, through clenched teeth.

"Yes." He nodded. Not quit able to meet Arthur's eyes. He knew hey where shooting him daggers right now. It was not really what he had said that made him laugh, it was what he omitted that made him laugh. It was true that Arthur demanded perfection from everyone, himself included. He was always hardest on himself. That could and was a positive at times. Arrogant, bossy and condescending where in the warlocks option greater flaws. He understood why Arthur choose the one he did to reveal. It was one that could be turned into a positive. Maybe he wasn't as bad at diplomacy as he believed he was.

"Is that all. That is your greatest flaw. Forgive me, but I don't believe you." Her voice now showed the new found confidence that she felt talking to Arthur.

"Well. I can also be a little stubborn when I know that I'm right."

"A little." He couldn't help himself the words just flow from his mouth. Like before he was able to cover it a little with a cough. Though the two sets of eyes that now turned to look at him told him that he had not been fully successful. A nervous laugh now escaped his mouth, though he also did his best to hide this too.

"Honestly Merlin you should do something about that cough. If it gets worse it could become something life-threatening."

The servant did not miss the slightly subtle threat to his life. "Yes sire." He was just able to get these two small words out without laughing. The corners of his mouth curling sharply upwards, pulling his face into a smile was enough of a giveaway on its own. One that Arthur did not miss as he glared towards Merlin as he slowly tuned back around to face Mithian.

"Only when your right." He didn't reply, but gave a small nod. "Then you must be right all the time." The king's eyes now widen a little. "I have heard talk of you King Arthur and Camelot. Your stubbornness is well known."

"Is it." he laughed a little. "What else."

"The bravery of your Knights of the Round Table." A proud smile cross Arthur's face. This did not go unnoticed by Mithian. "You are proud of your men."

"I have reason to be."

Their eyes left each other and looked out at the banquet hall in-front of them. To the far right was the row of seats that the Knights of the Round Table sat at. Directly across from them on the left of the table sat the visiting knights. Gwaine was in the mists of a drinking contest with one of these knights. While a little down from them Percival was in the middle of an arm wrestling contest with the largest of the visiting knights. Around both contest their fellow knights cheered on words of encouragement for their comrade in arms.

It was hard not to laugh as she saw Arthur shack his head and roll his eyes at the actions of his most trusted knights. He really had to learn to think before he spoke sometimes. Merlin was not able to hold back his laugh. He had seen it all coming. Once he had been threatened with his life he turned his attention to the hall in-front of him looking to see what his friends were doing. Knowing it would be far more interesting than what he was doing. He had started to laugh, but held it back from the second that the knights had been brought up.

"And so you should be." Mithian managed to get out through her building laughter.

"I will just have to impress you myself tomorrow. As my knights have let me down."

He had crossed the line and he knew it. He knew it as Merlin was not making any sound at all. Mithian had also managed to stop her laughter and was looking at him with deep unsure eyes. Her wide smile feel a little and turned into a soft smile. She opened her mouth about to say something but stopped herself at the last second. Darting her eyes away from him for a second she composed herself and then looked back at him.

"Then I should rest to be ready for all the excitement." Slowly she pushed her chair out from behind her and stood up Merlin had taken a step forward to pull her chair out of her. That was part of his job after all, but she had moved to quickly. "Goodnight Arthur."

She bowed to the king and moved away. Smiling a small smile at Merlin as she passed him. Finishing the step forward that he was in the middle of taking Merlin opened his mouth to speak, but before he could get out a single sound he was silenced.

"Not a word Merlin…..not one word."

The cold night air was a welcome relief after spending the last few hours in a room filled with other people and lit by many candles and torches. Granted it was a large room but as the night had gone on it had started to become very stifling. Gwen's intention had been to return to her champers, but the cool breeze that blew up from a stairwell as she passed it stopped her in her tracks. Taking a moment to let the cool air blow over her she made up her mind to go down the stairwell. At the bottom of the few steps she found the door open. One of the kitchen staff must have left it open as the passed through it. Peaking her head outside she didn't see anyone. So she allowed herself to sit on the bottom step for a while and enjoy the cool air and quite.

Closing her eyes she let herself truly taken in this peaceful moment. She did not let her mind think about anything. There would be time for that later. Right now she just wanted to stop and not do anything. Just for a minute or so she wanted to be still. It felt like her life had been rushed to this pint, now it was at a standstill. With nothing else to do but try and enjoy it.

The faint sound of footsteps coming down the steps behind her, where only noticed fully as she heard the person sharply turn and start to walk back up the steps. Worrying that she was getting in the way of someone's work she snapped her eyes open and turned to see who it was. Her eyes travelled up a pair of legs clad in sturdy black boots, to a chest covered in chainmail. Till they final rested on a slightly apologetic looking face. Her first reaction was to smile. Then she remembered that he had tried to walk away from her without as much as a word.

She didn't know what came over her. Quickly she pulled herself to her feet, spinning around so she was facing him. Her hands clenched and shacking a little. So unfamiliar as they were to caring as much tension as they were now. Her breathing was a little fasted and she found she was taking in deep breaths than before. Needing to fill her lungs with as much air as was possible for what she was about to do.

"Why are you always walking from me. You avoid me like I am something disgusting. What have I ever done to you for you to treat me so cruelly."

"Cruelly." The confused knight said in a whisper.

"You left me."

All the energy that she had just been feeling seemed to slip away from her as she looked into Lancelot's hurt eyes. He looked like his heart had been ripped out of his chest and stamped on. Which if she was honest was a very true depiction of what had happened. Though she was not going to take all of the blame for it. He was the one that had chosen to leave her. Not once but twice. She understood why he had to leave the first time, but the second. He did not have to leave her without so much as a word. Then avoid her and look at her like she had hurt him on purpose. That was his choice.

"You made the choice to leave. To go off on you're on again after…..You never said a word." Her voice became quitter as she went on. "You didn't even say goodbye."

Her anger had all but left her. An anger that she didn't really know that she was holding onto till it suddenly came over her. Like a giant wave, that just as quickly washed away again. Leavening her feeling very exposed. Almost like he knew how she was feeling Lancelot moved without thinking. Wrapping his long strong arms around her. Her head rested against his chest feeling a little comforted by the steady beating of his heart. After what felt like a very long time, she slowly lifted hers arms and pressed her hands lightly on his back. This should all feel so wrong, while she did not feel as safe as she did in Arthur's arms, she did feel safe. It was scary who comfortable this was.

"I'm sorry."

She took in his words then a few seconds after he spoke then, she suddenly pulled away from him. "I don't want you to be sorry." Her voice sounded as hurt as he looked.

Carefully he took a step back. "Then what do you want." There was a harshness to his voice that she had never heard before. She did not like it. It did not sound like him.

She let out a sigh. "I don't know."

"Yes you do."

His harsh tone started caused her anger to well up inside her again. "What I want. I want be able to make my own choices. For people to not think that they can choice for me."

He knew what she was trying to say. He understood, but it angered him. "I thought I was doing the right thing."

"And who said that you could choose what was right for me."

His anger much as hers had gone a while ago seemed to leave him. "Your right. I had no right to do that. I thought I was allowing you to have the kind of life that you deserved. A life I could not give you but I should not have made that choice for you."

Shame now filled her. "I'm sorry." She slowly reached out and took his hand.

"No, don't be-"

"I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I should not have taken it out on you."

His hand held hers a little tighter as he ran his thumb over her knuckles. His eyes were lowered to the ground. She could feel him trying to find the words to say something. What it was she did not know, but it scared her. She knew that it would be something that she did not want to face or deal with at the moment or ever.

"If I had stayed…."

"Lancelot-"

"I'm sorry…."

"Stop saying that." She nervously laughed a little. He even smiled a little. "Goodnight my lady."

He moved to leave but she held onto his had a little tighter. She was not strong enough to stop him from leaving on her own, but luckily he chose to stay. She was glad she wanted to avoid having this conversation, but it was long overdue. For either of them to be able to truly put all that had happened between them behind them and move on she knew that she had to say this.

"If you had stayed….I don't know…I think that we could have tried. But you left and I fell in love with Arthur. I admit at the time I, I wasn't sure. I wasn't sure about Arthur. I had stronger feelings for you. Now I love Arthur. I care for you deeply, but I didn't know if I would ever see you again."

He nodded and took a step forward. His free arm he lifted to wrap around her. She moved her free arm to do the same. Slowly they let go of each other's hand and wrapped that arm too around the other one. Despite their closeness neither had felt so light and free in a very long time. This conversation had been a long time in coming until now nether really had known how much they had needed to have it. With a deep sigh of relief and a wait being lifted, Gwen held the knight a little closer. With a faint smile he gentle stroked her shoulder where one of his hands rested.

"Okay. Honestly. How badly have I made a mess of everything."

Merlin was a little shocked that he had been asked such a direct question. "Um…not very badly sire."

Arthur let out a frustrated sigh. Merlin only called him sire if they were making fun of each other or he was showing respect when he had to. He stopped pacing his chamber and turned to look directly at Merlin who was standing next to the door. "Honestly."

After a few seconds Merlin finally spoke. "I know you didn't really mean to flirt with Princess Mithian. You just don't know how to talk to women."

"And you do."

Rather than speak the comeback that first came to mind, he thought over the King's words. He supposed he did. At least a little better than Arthur. True it was more talking to family with his mother and Gwen or arguing with Morgana and her fellow high priestesses. It was still better than Arthur, at least he thought so. He did not voice this, he valued his life to much to do that.

"She will be leaving the day after tomorrow. You know what her father wishes to gain from this visit, but it will not cause a dispute if you do not. You are the one that gave up Camelot's claim, there is nothing they can do without looking petty."

"I know that." His voice rang throughout the room.

Choosing to ignore that Merlin took a step forward into the room. He believed in Arthur and Gwen, that they were meant to be together. Arthur needed her, Merlin just knew that she was key to Arthur being the King that would unite the lands of Albion and return magic.

"I love Gwen as a sister. I can see that you love her, that she makes you happy. I can also see that she loves you, and that you don't make her miserable." He smiled a little. A little surprisingly, Arthur smiled too.

"I do love her. I have not been fair. I know what I have to do."

Merlin nodded. He moved to leave, but as he did he caught a glance of doubt crossing Arthur's face. "She will wait for you. She truly loves you." He offered some further reassurance.

After what felt like hours they started to pull apart. Once apart, with the other still in their arms Lancelot moved the hand that had rested on her shoulder forwards a little. The hand moved across her upper back and came to rest on her shoulder, just at the curve of her neck. Her hand lifted upwards to cup the side of his neck. Without thinking she pulled his head down towards her. As she did this his hand moved to rest on her check. Their lips touched for a second then they slowly pulled apart a few inches, before placing their lips together again. Her hand slid up into his hair as his slid down her back, each pulling the other closer.

Thank you for reading I hope that you liked it, and maybe now that I am back in the swing of things again you might review and let me know what you think all constructive comments are very welcome. As are any ideas for the story. Any parts of the last two season of the show that you would like worked into this story.