A Beautiful Dream

Kris really didn't want to be here.

The tightness in their chest, the agitation in their arms and legs, the sudden, inexplicable urge to do chores back home… every shred of them screamed at them to get away, turn around and return to the light. He'd already waited a week, what would another day hurt…?

…but they knew as well as anyone else, if they didn't do this now, they would never do it. And this situation couldn't continue on any longer. Not if their friendship was to survive intact.

The plan was simple – go in, say your piece, apologise, go home. Wait a few days, hopefully that would be enough time. I mean, he was the understanding sort, wasn't he? He'd see things for how they were, and maybe he wouldn't come around immediately, but he would come around. He'd have to, really.

And really, when you thought about it, this wasn't cruel at all. It was the kindest thing for him, really. How much angst had he put himself through already, wondering, dreaming, fearing, doubting… and for what? Yes, he might be upset. And yes, it might make things awkward for a bit. But better this than him labouring eternally under false pretences, wasn't it?

…wasn't it?

Don't think about that now. Focus. If you think about it, you might not be able to do what needs to be done.

Castle Town was as tranquil as ever, with darkners going about their lives, chatting with their cohorts, getting to know the new recruits, ambling between the uncanny shops and avenues. There was the swatchling-rabbick duo, tirelessly keeping the concourse clean and tidy. Kris wasn't entirely sure how the little dust bunny was even able to hold their broom to sweep with it, but the effectiveness of their technique couldn't be denied… whatever it was.

The human realised they had been staring when the two of them looked back with a curious expression, and they averted their gaze, only now realising just how… quiet it had gotten, the usual low-level chatter having come to a complete stop. Indeed, it seemed like the whole town had frozen in place, and each and every one of its denizens were now looking straight at Kris. Not saying anything, just… staring, their faces filled with curiosity, some looking concerned, others seeming a little cross. Each new expression carried with it the burden of an unanswered question:

What was going on?

What had happened while they were away?

Why had they come here again?

Was it too late to run away…?

'KRIS!'

The shrill voice pierced the quiet, and as if broken from a spell, the darkners all began to move again, returning to some semblance of normality… though some of them would, from time to time, steal glances in their direction, as if waiting for something to happen.

But Kris wasn't worried about that now, because tearing down the stairway as fast as his little legs would carry him was Ralsei, mouth open wide in an overjoyed smile, one paw holding onto his glasses to stop them falling off his face, the other waving frantically at his friend, red scarf trailing behind him like the tail of a fluffy comet.

'Kriss!' he called again breathlessly, rapidly closing the distance between them. The human gave a feeble wave back, watching his progress with some bemusement, which quickly became alarm as he came ever closer without any indication of slowing down. And sure enough, before they could properly assess what was happening, the prince leapt forward with both arms outstretched, slamming into Kris with a big tackle hug and almost knocking them off their feet, squeezing them so tightly around their neck it almost hurt. His cheek nuzzled against theirs, his fine white hairs caressing their skin and ticking the underside of their nostrils, alongside a faint aroma of marshmallows.

'You're here!' said Ralsei. 'You're back! Oh, I missed you so much, Kris! We have so much to catch up on! I'll have some tea and cake made up and we can…'

He trailed off, disentangling himself from Kris and attempting to compose himself in a slightly more refined manner. And he would perhaps have succeeded, if not for the massive blush and dopey smile spread across his cheeks.

'…oh, I'm, er, sorry,' he said. 'Guess I got a little, um, over-excited there… but it really is lovely to see you again! Ah… how are you? You… you look well!'

'Yeah, I'm good,' said Kris, rubbing their neck and resisting the urge to sneeze. 'Uh, and you…?'

'Oh, good! I've been… good, too. Um, yes. It's good… I mean, great!'

'Yeah… good,' they replied, kicking themself. Come on Kris, pull yourself together! Just… say what you came to say. The sooner you get it over with, the less painful it'd be for him… for both of you.

Though… perhaps not here, with everyone watching.

…okay then. Maybe just a sip of tea, somewhere private. THEN they could get down to brass tacks. Their stomach gave an audible growl, and they found themself wishing they hadn't skipped lunch to come here…

Ralsei laughed, and reached down to take their hand, leading them towards the castle. 'Sounds like we'd better get you something nice to eat, hm? Come now, I wanna hear all about what you've been up to!'

Kris shrugged, submitting to the prince's insistence. After all, he looked so happy… what would be the harm in playing along, just for a little while? There was no need to rush into this, after all. Besides, no matter how you sliced it, cake was cake, and Kris was only human.

Ralsei had taken them to a cosy drawing room, just off of the main entrance to the castle. True to his word, a spread of mouth-watering cakes had been laid out for them both, alongside the customary pots of tea. Kris admired the selection as they sank into the plush, velvety chair, noting with some disappointment the distinct absence of any chocolate flavours. They picked the next best thing – a salted caramel blondie, and chewed on it thoughtfully, the melange of sweet and salt with gooey cake and luscious caramel a taste of heaven.

The room itself was decorated in a rather old-fashioned style, somewhat at odds with the brightly-coloured and cheery prince sat opposite them, and yet at the same time fitting his character rather well. A small log fire crackled and danced in the nearby fireplace, blue and white flames radiating a soft light and comforting warmth. Wall-to-wall bookcases surrounded them on all sides, stacked with ancient-looking tomes and musty grimoires on all manner of worthy and scholarly subjects… but there were also shelves dedicated to more current reading materials, including a number of fashion magazines, housekeeping manuals, recipe books, and what looked to be romance novels, some of which were particularly dog-eared and worn with several readings… Kris looked away at once, choosing to focus on the smorgasbord arrayed before them, making a fuss of what flavour to have first.

'So you… weren't allowed to leave your room for the rest of the week…?' Ralsei asked with a dread-filled whisper.

Kris shook their head, enjoying the horrified expression on their companion's face far more than they ought to have done.

'N-not even to eat…?' asked Ralsei. 'O-or… to use the, um… facilities?'

'…I… I had a bucket…' they said quietly, lifting their cup and saucer to their mouth so that he wouldn't see their devious little smirk.

'Oh, that's awful!' the prince said. 'But then you fell into the lake… Susie told me you caught a dreadful chill…' he shivered despite the fire's warmth, rubbing down his arms and huddling around his cup of tea.

'Uhh… oh, yeah,' said the human, catching on quickly – so that what she'd meant when she said she'd "covered for them". 'Yeah, it was… bad. Couldn't speak for two days. No solid food.'

'Oh, no… I wish I could have done something for you… I, um, thought about making some soup, but I didn't… know what you liked, haha. Also, I think it probably wouldn't have survived the trip to the light world, anyway…'

'No, it's… it's alright,' Kris responded, suddenly feeling a pang of guilt hit them. It wasn't much fun teasing someone who was so gosh-darn earnest about everything. Or someone who cared so much. 'It's a nice gesture… Thanks, Ralsei.'

'O-of course, Kris,' said the goat boy, burrowing himself into his scarf again, his cheeks turning the same colour as his horns. The sight wrenched at Kris's heart again. This needed to stop, and it needed to stop NOW…

'Actually, Ralsei,' they said, their voice barely a whisper. 'I… I have to—'

'Oh!' he cut over them. 'I almost forgot to ask! Did Susie… did she… manage to tell Noelle how she felt…?'

The human blinked, at something of a loss. Ralsei smiled at them, giving absolutely no indication that he had heard their earlier interjection. In the face of such seeming obliviousness, the nerve that Kris had been able to muster up faltered, the words they wanted to say forced down into the writhing pit of snakes that their stomach had become.

'…dunno,' they shrugged. 'Think they've been studying together, though. For the group project.'

Ralsei's squeal of delight almost veered into hypersonic frequencies. 'Oh, that's wonderful! I'm so excited for her! Oh, oh, I hope they do get together, Kris! They'd make such a cute couple, don't you think…?'

They nodded slowly, picking up one of the little cakes in front of them and shovelling it into their mouth so they wouldn't have to give a verbal response. The thick icing on top gave with a satisfying crack as they bit into it, and the sweet zing of lemon curd and hit their tongue, just tart enough to make the lips pucker slightly, but not to a discomforting degree. And the sponge was delicate and sweet, melting in the mouth like warm marshmallows, a perfect compliment. Damn, how did this fluffy boy get so good at baking…?

'Oh, but… I thought that you were Susie's partner for the project…?' he went on, a quizzical expression crossing his features. 'D-did you change partners…? Or… oh no, they didn't fail you because you couldn't leave your house, did they?!'

Kris burst out laughing, almost choking on their mouthful of cake. 'No… sadly not. Just… they seem to be… enjoying each other's company, recently. That's all. But… how did you know about all that, anyway?' They leaned in conspiratorially, 'Susie didn't actually, uh… tell you about it, did she…?'

The prince nodded cheerily. 'It was sort-of an accident, really… I just kind-of… intuited it, I suppose. And we got to talking about it, and I told her about… ah, anyway! Yeah, she… she really opened up to me about it – how nervous and worried she was. It was really sweet, actually!'

'Hmm. Not to say I don't believe you,' they replied, picking up a technicolour slice of angel cake and giving it an experimental sniff, and almost recoiling from the powerful vanilla scent coming off it. 'But I kinda don't believe you. Anyway, you guys do anything else…?'

'Oh yes! We made lots of cakes… and then I watched Susie eat all of them, three or four at a time. It was… really quite a sight to behold…'

His somewhat-pained expression at the recollection of that memory made Kris smile again, despite themself. That was a very Susie thing to do! Shame they couldn't have been here to see it…

'…and then… then we went to the dojo. To, um… put some muscle on my bones. Her words. Though I think she also said something about a… a light breeze knocking me over. Which… yeah… isn't too much of an exaggeration.' He gave a bashful smile, almost as if he were apologising to Kris for his own weakness. 'Needless to say, it didn't go so well, haha. Though I… I did learn some things.'

'Such as?'

'…that scarves don't make very good bludgeoning weapons, for one!' Ralsei laughed, some of his earlier self-consciousness draining away. 'Also, Susie's axe is really heavy! I couldn't even budge it when she tried to get me to pick it up…'

Kris almost shot angel cake out of their nose at the image of him attempting to swing an axe that was almost as tall as he was, being carried away by the blade's momentum and launching himself across the room. And apologising profusely to his enemies the entire time.

'Yeah…' the prince sighed, turning wistful. 'It was… lovely to spend so much time with Susie, but… well, she can be a bit… um… much, sometimes. That's why I… was really looking forward to… to seeing you again, Kris.

'I'm… happy you came back, and that we could spend time together like this.'

He smiled at them again, and the knife twisted a little harder in their soul. What were they doing? All they had to do was tell him the truth. That they didn't see him that way. That they respected his friendship, but that was all it could be. And the longer they waited for just the right moment, the heavier and harsher those words seemed to become, forcing them deeper and deeper into an impossible choice, a battle they couldn't win.

Not for the first time, Kris contemplated just letting this thing take its course. After all, what harm could there possibly be in it? Ralsei was nice enough – in fact, he was a veritable saint. He was attentive, he was considerate, he was gentle, and always eager to make them happy. And on top of that, he was all fluffy and soft, too. No doubt there were plenty of people who would fall over themselves to have someone like him. And who knew? Perhaps, given enough time and effort, maybe something genuine might grow there. Something more than just childish infatuation and wishful thinking…

And would it be enough to overcome the resentment? Or the crushing reality that yet again, another choice that should have been entirely theirs to make, would have been made for them, for the benefit of another? No, that wouldn't be fair on either of them, would it?

They opened their mouth, determined to set this right once and for all. But all that issued forth was a deep, powerful yawn. Damn… another sleepless night catching up with them. Didn't help that this chair was so comfy, and the fire was lovely and warm.

Ralsei looked over with some concern. 'Oh, I'm sorry Kris, am I, um… boring you, at all?'

'No, no!' they replied hurriedly, feeling their eyelids begin to droop. 'No, Ralsei, you're not… not at all. I just… I didn't sleep very well last night.'

'I'm sorry to hear that,' said Ralsei quietly. Then he became more animated. 'Actually, I have a good sleep remedy if you'd like to… just brew some camomile flowers in hot water, add a spoonful of honey, and presto! Always sends me right off! But if you don't, um, have any camomile, lavender works quite well too… or night-blooming jasmine…'

Kris chuckled. 'Mom has some lavender tea, I think. Might give that a go, next time. Or I could take some flowers from dad's shop, I'm sure he wouldn't miss them…'

'Well, they, um, do have to be dried, first,' the prince hurried to clarify. 'You can't just… stick freshly-cut flowers into a teapot… I mean, you could, but it might not, um… taste very nice.'

'Uh… yeah. I… I knew that. Course.'

Now it was Ralsei's turn to laugh. 'If you say so, Kris!'

The human just smiled slightly, pleased that his friend had cheered up. They had told the truth – they did have trouble sleeping last night. All they'd omitted to tell him was that it was because they'd been worrying themself into a fever about today, playing out how it would go, all the ways it could go wrong, visions of the end of their friendship plaguing them all the way to the dark world's entrance…

They tried to smother another yawn, failed. Dread-fuelled adrenaline had kept their exhaustion at bay thus far, but the comfortable surroundings, sumptuous food and drink, talk of sleep and Ralsei's own serene, tranquil aura had worn them down, quite without them realising it, and now it was all catching up to them…

The prince laughed again. 'Oh, Kris, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to set you off like that, haha.'

'It's cool,' said Kris, waving a hand at him. 'I should be the one a…apolo—'

The rest of the sentence was drowned out by another yawn, this one too great to supress, washing through their entire body, seeming to press down on their arms and legs, making them heavy and slack, like overcooked noodles. Their plush armchair seemed to react to this change, gently pulling them into a soft embrace, moulding itself ever closer to the contours of their form. Eyelids drooped, mouth turned slack, and sweet slumber beckoned with arms outstretched.

'It's okay, Kris,' said Ralsei from somewhere close by and faraway, all at once. 'You can… you can rest here, if you'd like. I'm sure you'll feel nice and refreshed after a quick nap…'

God, his voice… he'd always been softly spoken, but now, his words poured gently into their ears, a slight singsong quality to his cadence, as soft and sweet as swirled honey, as soothing as a warm cup of hot chocolate…

'Ralsei, I… I should go,' they slurred quietly, trying to fight off his hypnotic voice. 'Mom will… she'll kill me if I… if I don't…'

Slender fingers glided through their hair, the touch of fluffy fur on their scalp so gentle, so comforting, so familiar. The prince shushed them as he continued to stroke their head, waving away their feeble protests with nothing more than a breathy whisper.

'Don't fret, Kris,' he whispered. 'It's alright. Everything's alright. You can spend a little more time here… here with your friend, can't you? She won't mind, Kris. She'll understand, Kris…'

Yes… of course. It was the most obvious thing in the world. Of course mom won't be upset… they were just spending time with a good friend, after all. They were safe and well, they were being looked after by such a loving, caring person, so attentive to their needs, so finely attuned to their moods… like he'd always known them…

The sound of singing reached their ears, clear and tender, as if rung from a silvery bell, the notes flowing mellifluously into each other. Every now and then, Ralsei's voice would quaver as he held a high note, the sound so vulnerable and yet so soothing, blanketing them in a beautiful tranquillity. It was as if Kris lay afloat in an ocean of song, waves gently lapping at their skin, the wind's soft breath caressing their cheek, cradled by the temperate waters and carried away by the gentle tides to a realm of infinite lightness and love, watched over tenderly by the twinkling stars as the velvet night whispered to them…

'You are not alone anymore…

'Everything is exactly as it should be…

'You are exactly where you're supposed to be…

A beautiful stranger held them in his arms, rocking them from side to side as they waltzed across the clouds, crooning sweet affirmations to them:

'You are special…

'You are enough…

'You are wanted…

Heart caught in their throat, tears of nostalgia streaming down their face… it was like coming home after being away for such a long time, their beloved waiting for them in the threshold, carrying a freshly-baked pie, apron caked in dried cinnamon batter, and smiling, smiling from the bottom of his very soul:

'I will watch over you…

'I shall ease your suffering…

'I will stay with you, always…

'Always… and forever…'

They reached over, and…

…

…

bolted awake at once.

The room was dark, with only a small candle providing illumination from a dancing blue flame. The dream they had had was already fading from their conscious mind, but its warmth lingered like rich dark chocolate on the tongue. For an instant, they weren't sure quite where they were – this wasn't their bedroom back home, nor was it the drawing room where he'd been chatting with Ralsei…

…where was Ralsei, anyhow?

They got to their feet, climbing out of the dreamlike bed with some difficulty. They looked around a moment, slowly piecing their surroundings together, realising they were back in the room the prince had made for them in his castle. This was actually the first time they'd been here on their own, and taking the candle from its resting place, took some time to explore the space. Inside the wardrobe was a variety of different clothes and costumes, from casual wear to evening suits, and even an ICE-E mascot costume, for some reason. Kris took the sleeve of a cashmere sweater between their fingers, admiring the smoothness of the material. The manual Ralsei had given them took pride of place on the bedside table, taking up most of the space there. It would probably make for good bedtime reading… if only because its contents were so incomprehensible that it'd send them to sleep in a matter of moments.

Their gaze moved up to the high shelves above the bed, where several glittering trophies and awards were displayed, each emblazoned with Kris's name. They remembered always wanting a trophy of their own, back when Asriel seemed to be literally stumbling across them. They even took one of his and tried placing it on their shelf, just to see what it would look like. The head injury that resulted when they dropped it earned them little sympathy from their mom, but after she'd told them off and bandaged the wound, Azzy had helped them to put it up. They'd been thrilled, at first, but the moment quickly lost its lustre, as they slowly came to realise that trophies weren't much good to have if you hadn't actually done something to earn them.

So the sight of so many literally hanging over their head did nothing much for them now. Actually, it was a little condescending. Like they were being pitied or something.

Kris threw themself back onto the soft bed, a weary sigh escaping them. It wasn't like they'd asked him to go to these lengths. Sure, he was lonely, and he wanted to show his new friends just how much he appreciated them. But making an entire room for them…? Dressing up for them, serving them tea and cake, all the hand-holding and hugging… it was all a bit much, and it didn't sit comfortably with them at all.

…but it WAS nice, being made a fuss of, for a change. Being the favourite. Even if they hadn't actually done anything to deserve it. But with that depth of devotion came a certain unspoken expectation, a sort of covenant; I will lavish you with my affection and praise, that covenant seemed to say.

And in return, you…

They sat back up, pulling up their phone check the time

17:50.

They sighed again. Mom really was going to kill them now. Dinner was supposed to be in ten minutes, and here they were, sleeping like a baby. They'd be lucky if there'd be anything left by the time they got back.

…how had that happened, exactly?

They were going to tell him. They'd meant to tell him, right there and then, but then, right when they'd finally mustered up the courage to actually go ahead, everything just seemed to catch up to them. And not missing a beat, Ralsei had rushed headlong into the breach, dependable as ever, with gentle reassurances and sweet caresses… and that haunting lullaby, sung so sweetly… it was…

…it was almost as if he had planned this…

…oh.

Of course. How stupid of them. They'd seen him cast that spell hundreds of times, reducing tired enemies to little more than babbling heaps on the floor. And each one wore that same, stupefied smile, as if they were having the most wonderful dream of their lives… So, the moment they had revealed their own exhaustion, it would have been the perfect opportunity for him to…

The scales began to fall from their eyes, and the world they looked upon seemed a much darker place than before.

Kris didn't know what to think anymore. They hadn't considered their friend capable of such subterfuge, such patience and cunning, and they began to see him in an altogether different light from the earnest, innocent little goat boy they had come to admire. It was like… no, it was a betrayal. A violation of their trust, a lack of respect for their friendship.

But it had been so… so beautiful… such tranquillity, such calm, such gentle care… they had not known such things for a very, very long time. And the softness of that recollected dream came up against the jagged knife-edge of reality, and was torn asunder instantly and brutally. A beautiful dream was just that. No better than a lie.

They had to go home.

No-one stopped them as they left the castle, storming down the stairs and into the town. This time, no darkner dared to look at them, finding some excuse to turn around, leave the square, or engross themselves in something else, anything else. The gateway leading back to the real world was just ahead, its glinting edge cutting cruelly through the coddling dark…

'Kris! Kris, wait!'

They did not break stride. They couldn't talk to him now. They didn't trust themself not to say something they were going to regret later. They'd been determined not to hurt him… or at least, to be as considerate of his feelings as possible. But if they didn't leave right now, they would not be able to keep that resolution… they would not be able to stop themself…

Ralsei caught their arm before they could reach the exit. Kris shrugged out of his grip, only to find themself restrained by their other arm. They looked down, eyes wide at the pink material wrapped around their hand, something that should have been so yielding now stronger than iron shackles. The scarf tugged at them, no harder than a slight breeze, but with a firmness that couldn't be denied. Biting hard on their tongue, Kris turned around.

'I have to go,' they said firmly.

'I… I didn't want to keep you,' said the prince, hands clasped in front of him, eyes downcast, like he knew exactly what he'd done. 'I… I should have woken you up sooner, but you… I'd never seen you look so… peaceful. I told myself that… that this was what you needed. What you wanted.'

'I have to go,' they repeated.

'I… I know. And I should have just let you go, Kris. I know I should have – you've got a life outside of this world, outside of me, but… well, it was just… I haven't seen you for so long, and then no sooner do you come back that you have to… have to leave again…'

The human scanned Ralsei's face, the hunched-over posture he wore, the contrition and regret in his voice… there could be very little doubt that it was genuine. After all, he didn't have a malicious bone in his body, and his heart was always on display… or that's how it had seemed. But that doubt had been firmly lodged in Kris's mind, and something that had seemed unthinkable mere minutes ago now yawned into an abyssal ravine in front of them, a vast emptiness of uncertainty where once there had been rock-solid faith and trust.

They still wanted to believe him. They wanted to believe his sweet words and his vulnerable features and his unfiltered emotions… but how could they trust that any of that was real, anymore, and not a construct fabricated just for them…?

'Why…?' they managed to say, though it felt like dredging up stones from the pit of their stomach. It was a pointless question, anyhow. They knew exactly why he'd done this. It was for the same reason he'd done everything else.

Ralsei did not respond right away. His lower lip began to tremble, and he screwed his eyes shut, removing his glasses to wipe away the tears that were beginning to bud there.

'…because I have no choice,' he sniffed. 'I'm a darkner. I was literally born to serve lightners. To do so brings me complete fulfilment, and I can no sooner change that than step out into the light… but that's not the only reason.

'Because I knew, from the moment I laid eyes on you, that I was not just any darkner. I was your darkner, Kris. The light you gave off blinded me, and I knew that my destiny was not just to serve that light, but to worship it. To give it everything I had, to devote myself entirely to it, surrender completely and utterly to it.'

The human's mouth ran dry. This… this was far worse than even they had thought it would be. A fire seemed to ignite in the prince's eyes, and he took a step closer to them, hands outstretched as if to

'You see, Kris…? In this world of darkness, you are my sun. And my heart was caught in your orbit, unable to escape the pull you exerted on it. I cannot refute this feeling, even if I wanted to. I tried… believe me, I tried. I would have been happy to admire you from a distance, to be given the chance to serve you in any way I could, and just leave it at that. But I… I am a poor excuse for a darkner. For I can't be content with just that. I want you to look at me the same way I look at you. I want your heart to pitter-patter at the thought of me, just as mine does when I think of you. Just as you are everything to me, I… I want…

'I want to be your everything, too.'

Ralsei fell silent after that, his face luminescent against the dark, his robe fluttering in the wind all around him, like the petals of a beautiful flower just come into blossom. And Kris, stunned, couldn't think of anything to say back. They had known he liked them – that much was obvious. But they hadn't quite been prepared for this… the intensity of feeling coming off of him, the anguished declarations of his affection, this so-called prince from the dark completely and totally ingratiating himself before them, despite knowing next to nothing about them…

And that was exactly the problem, wasn't it?

'Which one?'

Kris's voice cut through the silence like a knife through silk, and Ralsei seemed taken aback by the interjection. 'Err… what do you mean, "which one…?"'

'I mean, which "me" do you actually feel that for?'

The prince shook his head. 'I… I can only mean the person stood in front of me. You, Kris, and only you…'

'But you know there's another,' said the human. 'The being that shares my SOUL, the one who takes over during our adventures together. The one who actually likes you, Ralsei.'

'I… I don't understand…'

'Don't lie to me!' Kris roared, finally losing patience. 'What you think you know about me… that's not real! That's just an idea of me you built up in your own head!'

Ralsei almost shrieked, taking a step back from them. 'N… no… that c-can't… you're… the kindest… the most wonderful… always… checking on me, and… taking care of me… and…'

'Ralsei, stop.'

'B-b-but I…'

'Stop it,' said Kris, gritting their teeth, trying to hold back the killing blow, trying to keep hold of this beautiful, fragile thing between them for just one more second.

'Kris, please… I… you… I feel… you…'

'But I don't, Ralsei.'

There. The words were out now, they couldn't be taken back, and Kris felt an immense weight lift from their soul. They should have done this in the first place. They should have done this before everything got as tangled up as it did…

And then they saw the growing bewilderment and despair in his face, and all that weight and more besides crashed back into them.

'I'm sorry. I really am. But how can I feel the same way you do? When the person you thought was me was in fact someone else? You knew that, but still you… did you think that I could just magically return your feelings, if you just… wished for it hard enough? Instead of realising that you didn't actually know anything about me – the REAL me – you just projected an ideal onto me, and fell in love with that. Am I wrong?'

'I…' the prince trailed off, head hung low, pathetic and broken. 'I… I don't…'

'Then just stop. Because I can't be what you want me to be.'

They were startled to hear the voice coming out of their mouth. They had meant to try and comfort and console him, but all that would issue forth was anger and hurt. Perhaps a better friend would have just bitten their tongue and left. Perhaps a better friend would have offered a hug, or at least a shoulder to cry on. Perhaps a better friend wouldn't have let things get this bad in the first place.

Too late for what-if's now, though.

'…in the end, you're no different to them,' said Kris quietly. 'You don't… you never did see me. I was just a tool for the prophecy, an object for your own amusement. Never mind what I wanted, right? As long as you were happy…'

But then, Ralsei sprung forward, possessed by some new manic energy, grabbing hold of Kris's shoulder cape, fixing them with a gaze that burned brightly despite his floods of tears. It was almost defiant, that glare, and Kris could not meet it, let alone return it. His eyes were like the sun, burning, punishing, inescapable.

'That's… not… that's not fair, Kris!' he said. 'I… I can't help the way I feel about you! Even if it is just an illusion… my… my feelings are real! I really do care about you! More than anything else – anyone else! Just… please, give me a chance! Let me serve you, Kris! Let me… let me see the real you!'

He reached out, hands trembling, blinded by tears, as if trying to grasp the sun. But then he stumbled, falling hard onto his knees, and in that moment, he finally seemed to begin to comprehend what was happening, how terribly he'd misjudged the situation, and a strange new expression fell across his face. His normally brilliant eyes turned dim and glassy, his ears drooped as low as they would fall, and his mouth became set in a dead frown.

It broke Kris's heart to see it, the last vestiges of hope leave him, reducing him to a near-catatonic shell of his former self. But what could they do? If they had known just how lost in the illusion Ralsei really was, they would have done this right back in the beginning. But… why were they responsible for his wellbeing and happiness, anyway? They hadn't been trying to lead him on, they hadn't pretended to be anything other than what they were. And he'd ignored that, in favour of his own preferred reality.

It was a kindness, really, to break that delusion.

Perhaps, if the other them had been in this position, they would have found some way to cushion the blow. Perhaps they would have gone to hug him, try to console him in this, his most wretched hour. Perhaps they would have just gone along with it – perhaps they would have loved nothing more than to give this lovesick soul exactly what he wanted and needed from them.

And what of Kris, then? Trapped in a beautiful nightmare, a love that they neither asked for nor could return… no. They could not live a lie, no matter how sweet its promises were.

'Please try to understand,' they begged. 'I… I didn't want to hurt you. You are… one of the sweetest, most caring, most honest people I've ever… and you don't deserve to be led on, by me or by anyone else. You need someone who… who can appreciate you for you. Someone who can accept what you have to give. But I'm just… it's not me. I'm sorry, Ralsei.'

The prince didn't appear to hear them, and realising that further words were pointless, Kris began to turn back towards the light. But what he said next stopped them dead in their tracks, and cracked their frail heart into two.

'No… you're right, Kris. O-of course you're right.'

'I was blinded by the kindness you… I mean, they – showed me. And I let myself… let myself get swept up in something that wasn't even… oh, what an idiot I've been! What a naïve, deluded fool, to think that you could ever…!'

Kris turned to Ralsei, a near-overwhelming impulse to take him up in their arms, to tell him they didn't mean it, to comfort and cherish him, as he had done to them… but how? How could they possibly, after inflicting so much pain onto him…?

'R-Ralsei, I'm-'

But he held up a hand, bidding them come no closer. 'No, you don't have to… i-in fact, I should be th-thanking you.'

'H-huh…?'

'Yes… because… you respect me. Enough to… tell me how it is, without… without worrying about how I'd react. You did that, because you knew that's what I needed… even if it wasn't… even if it wasn't… that's right, isn't it?'

Was it? Kris didn't know anymore. What they thought had to happen… what they thought they wanted… they had been so sure. So why… why did it feel like everything they'd done was just a massive, irreparable mistake?

And Ralsei smiled at them, a big, dumb, miserable smile that never reached his eyes, with tears flooding down his face and soaking into his scarf.

'Thank you. You're a good friend, Kris.'

It was the most heart-breaking, most piteous thing Kris had ever seen, the picture of a saint who, even as his own world was decaying all around him, was still trying to spare the feelings of the person who had so grievously wounded him.

'You should go,' he said, turning away so they wouldn't see his smile wobble. 'I've k-kept you long enough already. Go on. Back to your world… back where you belong. I won't stop you anymore.'

And this time, there really was nothing else to say. Ralsei departed back for his lonely castle, holding himself with as much pride and dignity as he could muster, leaving a confused and wretched Kris staring after him, wondering if this couldn't somehow have been avoided, if they had just…

The words almost tumbled out of their mouth, meaningless and unheard. A white lie to cover a gaping truth, an empty promise to try and uphold something that had already been lost. Perhaps if Kris wished hard enough, they would realise they were still dreaming, and they would wake up soon, and everything would be back to normal, back to the way it should be, before their hearts had been so carelessly and cruelly shattered.

They knew it was just wishful thinking, but that was all they had left now.

'See you later, Ralsei.'

Author's note:

First off, let me say sorry for leaving this so long. Think it's actually been about six weeks since I last updated this story… meant to get this done much sooner, but work, weddings and catching Covid-19 (or should that be Corvid-19? Haha, puns!) kinda threw a wrench in those plans. Thanks to everyone following this story for sticking with it, and waiting so long for me to get my butt in gear :P

But man, no-one's really having very much luck in any of my stories at the moment, are they? Between this and Through Shattered Glass, I've kind-of stamped on the whole "true love conquers all" rhetoric somewhat. But then, when that love is built on a foundation of delusions and misconceptions, it's never really going to end too well, is it?

Still, at least Susie and Noelle are getting on. And, who knows? Perhaps things will work out for our favourite fluffy boy in the end. So please take heart, Kralsei fans! What's a good story without some twists and turns along the way, after all?

Thanks as always for tuning in, let me know what you thought of this most recent development, if you feel so inclined! See you in the next chapter, which at the current rate of progress will be out in about August sometime, haha! :)