Seemingly at least, Anakin did his best at library work. Which wasn't much, so instead of enduring the fidgeting and restless foot tapping for much longer, Kenshin decided to dismiss Anakin and relieve him from that pain that sitting still in the archives obviously represented for him. Following rules clearly wasn't his Padawan's greatest concern either, but Windu and Yoda had warned him about that. And it wasn't like he himself had cared an awful lot about rules either. Still didn't.
An hour later, he made his way back to his own room. Passing the Padawan's dojos, he heard noise and yelling. Out of curiosity, he checked to see what the reason for the turmoil was and was amazed to find his own student fists flying in a fight with another boy his age. Anakin did for sure not lack fighting spirit.
"Both of you calm down."
Neither of the two heard him. A well dosed force pull separated them and he had two surprised pairs of eyes looking at him.
He crossed his arms over his chest, eyebrows raised, and waited for an answer. The boys angrily stared first at him, then at each other, until Anakin busted out "He called me a slave! Again!" Pointing at the other teenager
"Yeah and you tried to kick me in the face, you twat. You can't take a joke once it's a bout you!"
"You blasted stupid pile of bantha poodoo..."
"Enough" Kenshin interrupted them and sighed internally. He quickly counted the times his new Padawan had been in a quarrel since he knew him – which was the very long timespan of three days. A teenager with anger issues and he was supposed to fix it. Wonderful. Once again he questioned Yoda's sanity in the regard of making him the Master of the human mess and a half that stood in front of him.
"Anakins reaction was wrong" Kenshin said with a stern, deprecating stare at his apprentice, before turning to the other boy. "But you knew calling him a slave would provoke him. So why did you say it? " The other Padawan furiously stared back, not giving a reply.
"You're coming with me" Kenshin gestured for Anakin to follow him. He took his apprentice to his living quarters, away from where other Padawans could disturb them, handed him a cup of rek tea and sat him down.
"Ok, what's wrong?"
"Nothing" the teenager spat out, fixing his gaze on the floor infront of him. Another reprimand, just by a different person. He was so over it! Why even bother any more.
"Nothing? That's exactly what it looks like. It's been three days since I've come to Coruscant, and in that time you've gotten yourself into four fights that I know of. Impressive. What that other Padawan said was wrong, he provoked you and it upset and hurt you. I get it! But why does it touch you so deeply? Why is there so much anger? "
Anakin's eyes kept burning holes into the ground. It was the first time someone asked why he reacted the way he did – but how could he explain? He didn't know! How dare this young Jedi, rank of Master or not, think he'd understand what he was going through, what he was feeling. That guy didn't even know him.
"I see, you don't want to discuss this. Then what am I supposed to do instead?"
"Leave me alone!"
"You'll find me at the knight's dojo if you need me" Kenshin said calmly, summoned two bokken into his hands and left.
Wait, what? Anakin looked up, but he was already gone. Had he really just stood up and left? He was so bewildered that he momentarily forgot about his fury. How could he just walk out on him? "Leave me alone" he revisited his own words... he had definitely not expected his Master would take them literally. Anakin looked around. Kenshin's quarters weren't any different from the first time he had been here, a mere couple days ago. The room was small and contained nothing but a low table, two seat pads and a sleeping mat. Even for a Jedi's accommodation, it was sparse. Not even any personal items, apart from a bag and a few clothes carelessly thrown into a corner, a data pad and papers spread on the table and an old fashioned book next to the bed. It's title read "The way of the sword" . Anakin curiously opened and leafed through it, when something fell out from between the pages. It was a picture. It showed a younger Kenshin, maybe 15 or 16, smiling happily. A great contrast to the frown that seemed eternally embedded on the face of the man he knew. Next to him was a girl of the same age, obviously also a Jedi, having one arm laid around Kenshin's shoulder and with the other hugging a third teenage human, that seemed to be a villager on whatever remote planet the picture was taken on. Just by looking at it, one could feel the happiness and a profound friendship between the three. Anakin quickly put the picture and the book back and decided to go find his Master. He still wasn't sure what to think about Kenshin, but he felt like he owed him an apology.
Approaching the knight's dojo, he found his Master involved in a fast paced fight with three three training droids at once, expertly wielding the two wooden swords he had taken before. These droids were a lot more powerful and more realistic than the ones available for the Padawan training rinks. He had to give it to him, as far as combat skills went, Kenshin was several levels up from anyone else at the temple. One droid finally got kicked to the ground, Kenshin backflipping over the second and sending it crashing into a column while slashing down the third with a sword. He landed in a low combat stance and remained still.
"That was impressive, Master"
Kenshin looked up and threw Anakin one of swords to catch.
"Wooden swords?"
"Not as forgiving to weaknesses in your technique as a lightsaber is"
"I don't have weaknesses in my technique"
"Everyone has weaknesses"
Kenshin engaged him with a fierce attack. Once more he came to realize the strange Jedi Master was by far a much better duelist than any opponent he had faced before. The other Padawan had not stopped gushing over how he had defeated Windu. Regardless of what style was being used, Anakin was definitely not used to feeling like the weaker side in a fight. And already his sword went flying. He picked it up and attacked harder and harder, only to instantly get disarmed again.
"Your defense needs work. And your presence of mind. I have presented three weaknesses and you didn't see or use any of them. Observe. Be mindful!" Kenshin revisited the last moves with him.
The Padawan's mind was as troubled a storm as ever. His lightsaber and sword fighting skills were better than any other apprentice's, he was even better than some of the knights. How did his master dare criticize him like that, treating him like a mere pupil!
"I sense your irritation, Anakin. I'm detecting flaws where you thought you had none. A correction adds to one's store of knowledge and skill. It's a thing to be grateful for, not something to take offense at!"
A part of him knew his Master was right. He was getting upset about being corrected. Rightfully so, he had no flaws! He couldn't explain to himself why he had so much trouble opposing him in a fight, but it must have been because ….whatever, because he wasn't used to Kenshin's style yet.
"Don't lecture me! I want to fight, and I'm soon going to be stronger than anyone else, even you! I don't have room for weaknesses"
"Strength is not the absence of weakness – strength is the courage to acknowledge your flaws and work to improve upon them"
"I'm the best Padawan in the entire temple, I'm even better than some of the knights, and it won't be long before I can defeat you, too!"
"I'm waiting for it." A stern look told Anakin his Master wasn't impressed in the slightest by his words "I don't care what they have told you. I don't care that you're the Chosen One. If you want to train under me as your Master, it is my standards you will be judged by. And by those standards – you have more to learn than you can even fathom."
Hot anger surged within the teenager. How dare he! He would make his master see how powerful he was! As their duel went on, Kenshin increased his speed instead of slowing down. Was this guy never getting tired? Anakin got more and more upset, becoming more and more sloppy. Soon his sword went flying again into a corner. Kenshin gave him a scrutinizing look.
"Anakin – I don't really know you, but I can feel how insecure you are. All your arrogance is just an attempt to hide how scared you are. You're scared of failure! Do you know what the path to greatness is? Believe! In! Yourself! As of now, you're being your own greatest enemy."
Staring his master in the eyes, his own angry glare was met with a piercing yet unimpressed glance. Anakin began to feel uncomfortable, as if everything he suppressed and tried to hide was laid out in the open. Why did he have a feeling this strange Jedi already knew more about him than he did himself? 'your greatest enemy is yourself', what was that supposed to mean? What was he talking about? He wasn't insecure, he wasn't scared, not of anything! Kenshin couldn't be right, could he? Of course he believed in himself! Or did he?
"What does that even mean, Master?"
"You're insecure. Know yourself. Accept yourself. Accept failure! Failure doesn't make you weak. Failure makes you grow. You fear your weaknesses. So you deny them and don't see where you could improve. You don't trust yourself that you will."
Anakin just stared at him, trying to process what he had said. In the back of his mind, he knew Kenshin was right but he hated to admit that it was true.
"I guess we're done for now" Kenshin finally said. Anakin silently agreed
"I'm sorry, Master" Anakin muttered, as they were leaving the dojo.
"What for?"
"Me getting into another fight, and being...dunno, being not nice to you"
"You still haven't answered my question. You carry a great deal of anger, especially for someone who doesn't know how to use it"
"I don't know, Master! My anger, all these emotions – they're just there, always were. That guy called me a slave – again - and it just made me so angry"
"Why does it make you angry being called a slave? "
"No one's supposed to call me a slave. Nobody's supposed to be a slave in the first place!
"That is true. Do you think you are worth less than others because you were born a slave?"
"What do you mean?"
"Those kids calling you a slave - they want to make you feel bad about yourself. They say slave, but they mean worthless. And you just buy it. You don't question it. You just rise to provocation. You do not believe in yourself, you do not understand that you are just as worthy as everyone else here. You are putting yourself down."
Anakin looked at his Master in disbelief. Putting himself down? Why would he do that? He could not quite grasp the meaning of what his master had said, but it felt again like he had been reading his thoughts, looking straight into his soul. As if he was a book that Kenshin could easily read. And then, nobody had told him he was a worthy person. Of course he was. It was just that nobody saw it.
"It's fairly late. Get some sleep. You'll need your energy tomorrow"
"For what?"
"For not getting defeated as quickly again"
"Who says you'll defeat me again?" Anakin gave Kenshin a defying look, but it just earned him another unimpressed, stern glance.
"I say so. Prove me wrong!"
