CHAPTER 35-WHAT'S IN THE BOX?
Jessica knocked on Baz's door before rubbing her arms. The chilly air had made her shiver and she wasn't prepared for that drop in temperature. She saw his car in the driveway and was hoping that he'd answer the door quickly. Jessica was only dropping by because Lena had left her homework in her car when she picked her up from school earlier that day.
Despite Smurf taking her that morning, Jessica offered to get her and wanted to see her niece since she had been seeing a lot of Pope lately. Baz had begun working on his relationship with Lena, but it still wasn't where Jessica hoped it would be. It was small gestures such as taking her to school or making dinner on certain nights she was home, but Lena was really struggling without her Mom.
At the same time, this was something that Jessica had needed to get used to with her and Baz getting together. It was going to be complicated scenario and trying to explain it an eight-year-old was not going to be easy. Jessica was not only her aunt but now would be playing the role as stepparent. On top of it, they were going to have a baby which would give Lena a sibling but would still change her way of life once more.
Knocking on the door, she peered past the white curtains and watched as Baz turned his head towards it. Seeing it as an invitation and moved inside. Sliding the door closed, Jessica took in the quietness that filled the home. She figured Lena was sleeping but it seemed too early.
"Hey…Where's Lena? She forgot her homework in my Jeep earlier, so I came to bring it" Jessica whispered.
"She said she wasn't feeling good so I told you to go lay down for a while, something about a stomach ache. She fell asleep about a half hour ago" Baz told while glancing at the clock.
Jessica peered at the closed bedroom door, wanting to check on her since she was fine earlier in the day. She thought it would be best to leave her to sleep but she'd check on her later. "I know she said something about some girls at school that bother her. I told her I'd go beat them up for her" She joked while setting the notebook down on the coffee table. Baz had given her a look while she shrugged. "Hey, it's better than Pope scaring some little kids off. I'll talk to her again about it"
Grabbing the spare blanket that was lying on the couch, she wrapped it around her arms as they were bare due to a tank top. Jessica as already in her pajamas which consisted of the tank top which was a white and a pair of grey sweatpants. Baz was standing at the kitchen table with two boxes that were filled with a variety of things. He had on black gloves and papers were scattered on the table.
Stepping over to him, he wrapped an arm around her while she took the opportunity to give him a quick kiss. Her eyes scanned the contents before looking at back at him.
"What's all of this stuff?" She asked.
"I don't know, Smurf had a box full of junk in the storage. It looks like it's her passports and things" Baz told her, throwing a couple of fake passports on the table.
Jessica leaned forward in order to see them and grabbed one to check it out. All of the Cody members were prepared in any situation and had fake ID's to accompany them on any excursion. Smurf mostly kept theirs in a safe place but none of them knew that she had multiple versions for herself. It gave Baz an idea, but he'd had to work out the rest of the details before jumping into action.
"Ashley Willis, Jennifer Benson…I've never seen these in my life. I just remember making fun of her for the one she has now. Where did all the multiples come from?" She asked him while grabbing the others to read the rest of the names.
"I have no clue, probably so she couldn't get caught but we easily could since we only have one. She never even made J get one, I don't think the kid even has a passport" He remembered the one-time Smurf put them through a drill and J bringing it up to him.
"Surprise, surprise. Let him get caught while we ride off into the sunset. I often wonder what goes through her mind at times and I'm so glad that I don't think the way she does. Sad statement but being raised, well if I want to use that word, growing up around her was enough fun for me"
Placing her arm on his back, Jessica slid behind him in order to check out one of the other boxes that was to the right of him. He seemed concentrated on the one he was looking at and it made her wonder what else Smurf could be hiding. After all, the Cody Matriarch was great at hiding secrets and filling them with lies.
Slowly lifting the box top open, she peered inside, and it almost looked identical to the one Baz was looking through. A couple of manila folders, loose pieces of paper and larger folders stuffed with God knows what. Jessica grabbed the top folder and peered through it.
"So…Does Smurf have any idea who took her stuff?" Jessica asked while glancing through.
"Well, she knows someone took it, but I don't think she thinks it's us. She's already confronted you and J but both of you didn't say a word, so I don't think she has any clue"
Nodding at his words, it still stressed Jessica out as it would anyone. What they were doing was huge, not only against Smurf but for their family alone. They weren't sure how the Boys were going to respond to everything as Smurf was always the driving figure in their lives. By eliminating her from the picture, the roles were going to change, and Baz knew that they weren't going to like where it would go.
Jessica went to respond to him before stopping to read the piece of paper in her hand. She saw Pope's name up at the top at it made her curious what it was about. Reaching into the folder for the rest, a couple of pages were stapled together so she quickly flipped through those.
"When did Pope ever get diagnosed with Bipolar disorder?" She asked Baz, taking a moment to look up.
"Um…I don't remember it. Maybe it was before I showed up" He continued on what he was doing before pausing to look at her once she held the paper up.
"Look at the date, you were clearly around at this point. I know Pope may be a little unstable and a little out there, but he is not bipolar. Last he went to a therapist, he punched him in the face and since then, he hasn't been on any medication"
"Actually…" Baz began to speak and slowly realized that he and Smurf were the only ones who were in on the plan. "Smurf started hiding medication in his food about eight months ago so she could keep him in line" Jessica gave him a look of disbelief. "Come on Jessica, he was standing out in the backyard at midnight, completely naked and staring at the moon"
"So the best thing to do is give him meds that he's not even prescribed to and think that's going to cure him? That could have made him ten times worse and I'm guessing that you agreed to it?"
"What else did you want me to do? I can't just watch his every move. He took J out and got him beat up, he did a job on the side with Deran, and he was not that stable to do the job we were planning as a family. He just got out of prison, so Smurf thought it was best to keep things under control"
While Jessica knew that Pope either had something mentally wrong with him, there was no denying that the others tiptoed around him. He was unstable for most of his life, at least that's how Jessica saw it considering she was the younger sibling. Things would slide by with Pope as they didn't want to confront him on matters, fearing for the worst. It wasn't fair to him either with Smurf trying to control his movements.
"Well, I can say for a fact that Pope is not bipolar, so Smurf got a doctor to lie on the paper. Probably so she could get him pills despite the fact that they more than likely wouldn't work on him to begin with. I swear, this gets crazier the second I'm around you"
Baz wouldn't put it past Smurf to do so because he didn't even know the medication she was hiding in his food. "If it weren't for me, Pope would be dead in a year without me" It was a bold statement to make but he saw it as the truth.
Jessica paused at his words for a second, noting wanting to say if she believed that or not. Out of the siblings, Baz was the one who always looked out for everyone else even though Pope took the fall for him in prison. He had always looked over Jessica his whole life, Julia when she was present and kept tabs on Pope the best he could. Craig was a whole other story and Deran wasn't afraid to do his own thing and tell Baz to fuck off. Deciding to keep quiet, she stacked the papers back together before reaching for a different folder.
"Deran is going to be pissed if he finds this" She was mostly speaking to herself, but it made him curious as to what she now discovered. "She's got a copy of the bar lease in here. She knew all about it before he even told her. How the hell does she find out all of these things before we do?"
As she shifted through the papers, Baz shook his head while reading some of it. Getting The Drop was huge for Deran, it was his opportunity to break away from Smurf and do his own thing. He was very secretive about it; the Boys were the only one who knew or so they thought. When Jessica came back home, he mentioned it to her privately, but it made sense on how she showed up out of the blue on his opening night. She had everything he wanted in the palm of her hand so Deran really didn't have much by himself.
"I'm not sure if vindictive is the right word or I can't think straight but he will flip once he finds out"
"You're not going to tell him" Baz said simply.
"Um, yeah I am. He deserves to know that her name is on the property"
"You do that and everything we've planned so far is going to crumble" He reminded her while going back to the box he was digging in. "He'll ask how you know; you'll say that you found a copy and it's going to lead to more questions. You can tell him when we're all done with everything, but you can't say a word to him now.
After thinking what he said over, it was smarter to keep quiet because she couldn't tell the Boys that they stole the money from Smurf. No one said a word about the storage unit besides J so she doubted that no one else knew. Huffing out loud, she put the paper down on the table and continued digging.
It was quiet for at least a couple minutes until Baz had a hand full of pictures. They had been buried at the bottom of the box and when he lifted a pile of papers, they scattered onto the floor. Jessica stopped completely what she was doing and waited for him to gather him. She had hardly seen photo albums, let alone photo albums around the house so the pictures had to be good. Smurf had pictures out and about, but they were from when they all were older.
Baz looked at the whole before turning the polaroid so he could read the back of it. "Any idea who Jake is?" He asked her but after he said that he began to wonder if it were the same guy that took Smurf's money.
"Beats me, I've never seen the guy in my life" Jessica said while staring at it until he went to the next one.
The picture was of a man who had shaggy blonde hair and his arm wrapped around Smurf. Both of them were sitting in on the couch, a baby in Smurf's lap and a little girl sitting next to her, looking down at the child. For a second, Jessica couldn't believe what she was seeing so she snatched the picture out of Baz's hand. Flipping it over for an information, there hadn't been a date of even a name.
"Is this…Is this my Dad?" She asked quietly before turning back over in order to look at it. This would have been the first time she had ever seen a picture of her Dad, let alone really got a description of what he looked like. Smurf was very tight lipped on all of their Fathers.
Baz leaned closer to her to look at it. "I mean, that has to be Deran and you right? I can't see that being Julia and Craig"
As her heart picked up the pace, Jessica was brought to tears, but she couldn't even explain why. It had to be a mixture of finally seeing what he looked like and relief that there was some kind of memory lurking around. The only thing Deran and Jessica knew about their Dad was that he was a drug addict, Smurf never failed to mention it. It made sense on her part as well because addiction could be passed down to their children.
"You okay?" He asked her, placing his hand around her waist so he could pull her to him.
Shaking her head softly, Jessica dropped the picture onto the table, afraid to even look at it again. "I'm fine, I just…The pregnancy hormones are just making this worse"
"You don't have to lie to me"
Nodding at his words, the Blonde Cody leaned into him and she quickly wiped her tears away. It wasn't fair that she wasn't allowed to even know what he looked like and that Smurf hid all of their Dads away from them. She always wondered if things would have been different if she would have known him or even fair out if she lived with him. Deran often brought it up to her privately when they were younger and sometimes to this day.
"All I know is I'm keeping this picture. I deserve to have it over her and Deran deserves to see this too" Picking it back up, she placed it on the kitchen counter that was next to her. After wiping her face completely, Jessica took a deep breath to ignore the lingering thoughts. "Is it cool if I make some coffee?"
"I'll get it, just breathe for a few minutes, okay?"
Thanking him quietly, she turned back around and kissed him once more. Jessica was glad that she could have moments with Baz that weren't into arguments. It seemed like they always had something to say to one another which always ended into a fight. Both of them were head strong and stubborn, a trait they learned well from their Mother.
Sniffling for a moment, she watched him wander into the kitchen before going back to the box. Taking a glance at the other pictures, Smurf was with other men who she assumed were possibly Pope and Craig's Fathers. It was crazy to think she held onto such things.
Brushing her hair out of her face, she grabbed a stack of papers which were nothing exciting, Craig's bikes which they all knew Smurf bought and the copy of Dylan's birth certificate. When it came to the bottom of the stack, a manilla envelope stuck out to her. Big, bold letters covered the front, and it was simply titled "Blackwell".
Taking a look over in the kitchen, Jessica watched Baz begin to make the cup of coffee. That gave her an opportunity to look inside without him noticing. She had no idea what the contents could be and when she pulled out a couple polaroid's, Jessica's jaw nearly dropped. Shifting through them, it was a shock as she was too young to know the extent of what happened.
The pictures all consisted of when Baz had first come around the Cody family and when Smurf decided to take him in. He was standing in front of a white wall, around the age of nine. His body was littered with dark purple bruises, covering his arms, chest and back. Large, deep red lines also littered his back which showed that he had been beaten with something. While the pictures were a little blurry, Jessica could see all the wounds and that nearly brought more emotions. As she went back and forth between the three pictures, Jessica took occasional glances at Baz.
Once she noticed Baz making his way back to the table, she quickly grabbed the blanket to fix it other shoulders. That way she could shift the pictures within in but didn't have enough time to hide the folder which was out in the open.
"Here's your coffee…What's that?" He asked, setting it down while nodding his head at the folder.
"It's nothing, she had Dylan's birth certificate in it" She said almost a little too fast.
He took it upon himself to grab the folder and looked inside which obviously revealed nothing. Turning to her, he spoke, "What was really in there?"
Hesitating answering him, Jessica took a second. "You don't want to know…" Pulling her arm tighter within the blanket, it was clear that she was hiding something. "Seriously Baz, I don't want to show you these things"
"What is it? Is it about me or Dylan, what? It's got my last name on it, so it has something to do with me"
"There are pictures of you when you were younger. If I'm shocked looking at them, you will be too. Let me put these back in there and pretend we've never talked about it"
"I'm not going to let Smurf hide something from me Jessica. Whatever it is, I want to know"
The urgency in his voice made Jessica want to hand the pictures over but it was hard to. No matter who it was, she didn't want to be the one holding onto them and have to show the person. Baz came around the family when he was nine and Jessica was only four. It was true that she was too young to know what went on, but she heard the stories as she got older. On top of it, none of them knew what happened to his Mother as he hadn't told any of them. Jessica still hoped one day he would tell her, but she wasn't going to pry.
Staring at him for a moment, Jessica caved in and pulled her arm out. Holding the pictures tight, she slowly handed them out to him, and Baz took them in an instant. As he started to look through them, she felt uncomfortable in the silence as it became deafening. There weren't any words that she could think of that would explain the pictures. Instead, Jessica looked around the home awkwardly.
"I don't remember this…Did this really happen?" He asked quietly, still shifting between the pictures. Jessica could tell his breathing picked up.
Shrugging her shoulders, she responded, "I don't know or remember either, I was too young at the time. Smurf used to tell us how your Dad wasn't a good guy and the one time he came over to the house…"
"What happened?" He asked genuinely, not even having any recollection of what she was talking about.
"You don't remember?" Jessica questioned, surprised as it was something she remembered. She wasn't sure if any of the boys could recall it, but she could, it was almost something she couldn't forget. "You were probably like 11 and you were hanging out at the house. You were staying as usual, we all went into the pool and that's when we all noticed, especially Smurf.
It was a strange that Jessica remembered such details considering she was six years old and is now thirty-three. She always said she had good memory, but this was something that was haunting enough to remember. Baz, however, didn't have any type of memory including his Dad or his Mom considering he was mostly stayed at Smurf's and had better thoughts of that.
She paused the story, wondering if it was going to come back to him but instead, Baz shifted his attention from the pictures to look at her. He didn't put them down, just held them tight in his hand. Her nervous habit kicked in as she grabbed a hold of the scrunchie and pulled her hair out of a bun. Ruffling it, Jessica took a breath and continued on.
"You were covered in bruises, red marks across your back. I honestly think you looked exactly like you did in the pictures. I asked what happened and Pope was the one who finally got you to say something. You told us that your Dad did it, kicked, punched, and beat you some sort of stick. Smurf was in the house with Deran because he wasn't old enough to go swimming. Julia went inside and told her what happened even though you told us not to. He came over that night to drag you back home and that's when it happened. He started beating you out in the driveway, Craig and I saw it and ran inside to tell Smurf. Pope came out of nowhere and began to protect you" She paused and looked down for a second. "The next day, Smurf had a bed set up in Pope and Julia's room for you. We never really spoke about it after that"
As Baz was listening to the story, he tried his best to remember everything, but he blocked it out enough that it didn't even sound familiar. It was weird for him to hear someone tell him about his life that he apparently blacked out of his mind. There had stayed silent as neither one of them had the correct words to say.
"I thought you knew, that's why the last time you seen him you were like eighteen" She thought she'd tell him that, just in case he didn't remember that either.
Shaking his head no, Baz reached for the folder on the table to put the pictures away. "No, I've been checking on him for the last couple of years" Jessica's face lit up in surprise, not understanding why he would want to do that. "No one knew, I kept it quiet. I started hiding a stash of money there just in case Cath and I needed extra money. He was there most of the time, drunk as usual but I still took care of him"
Her eyes had watched his movements and he tucked the pictures away. She never wondered whatever happened to their relationship because she thought it ended the second, he started living at the Cody's. The last he ever mentioned his Dad was when he ran into him at a store. He mentioned that he talked to him briefly and that was the end of that.
"Why didn't you say anything?"
"Because I honestly didn't think you guys would care. I mean, you really think Craig and Deran would have sat there and listened to my problems? I told Cath before she disappeared and she's the only one who knew. I had to keep it from Smurf"
Jessica shifted her eyes after hearing Catherine's name. It was still strange that the woman disappeared without a trace and with Baz or Lena hardly speaking about it, it left her to try and figure out all the pieces. Even though they didn't get along, it was going to be hard to fill her shoes.
Baz began to grab all the papers that she had pulled from her box and started stacking them back inside. Jessica could easily take a hint and he didn't want to talk about it anymore, but she felt that he needed to.
"He's been calling me. I don't know what he wants, I don't listen to any of the voicemails and I don't respond to any texts" He told her, reaching for the lid.
"Have you thought about talking to him about what happened? I know you just found out but it might help in the long run"
"What do you want me to say? Hey, remember when you used to beat the hell out of me? I apparently don't and have to hear it from someone else"
"I'm just saying Baz…" She trailed over and pulled the blanket tighter once more. She hated the way that silence filled the air, she hated how awkward it had become. What words could she say that would possibly change everything?
Cleaning up the other box, Jessica stood there and watched without another word. "Let's just forget about it and try to go on with the rest of the night"
Nodding quietly, she removed herself from the table, grabbed her mug and went into the living room. Plopping down gently, she took a sip before waiting for him to step over. Jessica wasn't sure if that was going to happen as Baz seemed lost in his own thoughts. He went into the kitchen, got himself a cup of coffee before finally coming over and sitting next to her. She pulled her legs up, Indian style and gently set the mug in her lap to face him.
Baz seemed to be debating on saying something as he was staring towards the front door. Jessica decided to break the silence but couldn't figure out what to say. "So…Do you want me to stay the night or anything?"
"What would you say?" Completely ignoring her sentence, Baz continued on. "If you're Dad just showed up, what would you tell him?"
Not expecting the question, it took Jessica a moment to think it over. This wasn't something that never crossed her mind before, in fact, she often thought about it when she younger. There was still so much that she hadn't told Smurf as she was too fearful.
"Um…I guess I would start by asking why did he leave? I mean, I know that Smurf chased him off, but I don't know why he didn't try to stay in my life or even try to save us. I don't hate my Dad even though it feels like I should, but I just can't. I understand how Smurf raised us and that he couldn't have been around because she wouldn't let him. I actually blame her, and I know that I get my traits from him" She had been referring to her drug addiction but didn't want to say it out loud because it screamed the truth. "But that doesn't mean I don't deserve to know who he was. I don't even know his name and I just seen a picture of what he looked like today. The biggest question is was it really Smurf or did he just not want me or Deran, you know?"
Baz had listened to her intently and for Jessica, it was nice. She didn't have a lot of friends due to the circumstances of the family as they were not supposed to trust outsiders. She couldn't confide in anyone and it was nice that someone could understand her point of view.
"What would you say? What would you say if you're Dad showed up right now?" She pressed for further information, wondering if he would give it to her.
"He knows better than to come around here. I told him ages ago not to" He said quickly as he took a drink.
"Baz that's not the point. You asked me and I'll never get to ask my Dad these questions. I wouldn't even know him if he passed me on the street. You could have the chance to do that. He's calling you for a reason"
Shaking his head slowly, Baz laughed lightly before turning his attention to Lena's bedroom door. Jessica followed his gaze and turned around, she thought that the little girl had appeared, but no one was there. Turning back to him, she spoke.
"You know you're not a bad Father if you actually pay attention to her. I know I'm always getting on you for it, but I remember how you were before Cath left or whatever she did. She loves you and that will never change but you need to start stepping up"
"What if I end up like him?" He asked her back.
"You are not him, trust me. Lena wouldn't be the sweet little girl that she is now if you were like him. She has a family that loves her and will do anything for her, but she still has a parent that needs to take care of her. You don't want Lena to grow up and think that you hate her, right? Smurf is already planting that in her head, and you are showing that you don't care"
Baz hadn't answered her and instead took another drink. Everything Jessica was saying was right, but he wasn't going to admit it. Catherine missing was hard on him to as she was the one who did all the parenting when it came to their child. What he was doing though, ignoring and neglecting was something that his Dad did, and it was about time that Baz was going to see that. Things weren't going to change overnight; things weren't going to change just because he saw the pictures or from Jessica's words. He had to do it himself, but this might have been a push in the right direction.
"Do you think the same thing?" Jessica blinked confused on the question and asked what he meant. "That you'll end up like Smurf"
Snorting out a laugh, Jessica shook her head quickly. "I will never, ever be anything like Smurf. She may be my Mom but she's far from it. I will never turn into that bitter, selfish woman that she is and if I do, please put me out my misery. I couldn't live with myself if I ever ended up like her because she screwed me up as it is. I wouldn't want to give her the satisfaction"
That wasn't the first time that Jessica had ever said that to any of them. She learned her lesson after telling Smurf that to her face and decided that she wouldn't hide from it but just wouldn't tell her again. It was the biggest promise she was making not only to herself, but to her child as well.
"Daddy?" Baz and Jessica had nearly jumped off of the couch after hearing Lena's voice break the silence that started once again. They had turned to their attention to her standing in her doorway, as if Baz predicted it earlier. "I had a bad dream" She was in the process of rubbing her eyes.
"You want to come sit with us for a while?" Jessica asked with a faint smile on her face.
Nodding at her, Lena walked over and jumped in between them. Jessica held her arm out for the young girl to cuddle up under the blanket and Lena did. As she cuddled up to her, Jessica looked over towards Baz and nodded her head faintly at his daughter.
"What was the dream about?" He asked her, as she reached over for his hand to hold. Baz instead moved closer and put his arm around her back.
"The wolves again…They were chasing me, and I couldn't hide"
"We're here and we're not going to let anything get you' Jessica told her as she looked down at her.
Lena glanced at her for a second then looked towards Baz. "You promise?"
The both of them had shook their heads yes and a slight smile appeared on her face. As the three of them sat there, Baz and Jessica exchanged looks for a second then turned their eyes elsewhere. No matter how normal they wanted their lives to be, they were always going to be far from it. They could try and give Lena a normal life but that didn't exist in their vocabulary. After all, they were raised in their surroundings so the normal life that they dreamed of would never come. Smurf would make sure of it.