27.
Harry entered the forbidden forest one sunny weekend morning alone looking to find the rune itself and explore some of the other dimensions. He stumbled for the first time upon a grove of unicorns placidly grazing on tender grass. There was a distinct hole in the walls of the magical dimension torn presumably by a Voldemort-possessed Quirrell in Harry's first year. Harry tried his best to map exactly how the dimensions were laid out in the forest and it seemed that the forest was made of an almost unpredictable maze of twists and turns.
"Can you help me out here?" Harry asked no tree in particular after coming across the same grove of pixies he'd passed three or four times already. The forest, being a forest, didn't respond. Instead, it guided him gently from tree to tree until he made it to a sunny glen with a modest brook cutting through a small thicket of trees sitting on a gentle, grassy slope leading down to the rocky brook edge. An animal hide tarp hung between two trees higher up on the slope and the remains of a campfire blackened the ground near it in what was clearly a campground. Near the stream lay a familiar centaur with white-blonde hair. The centaur was resting on his side, legs splayed in the grass under him. His face was tilted up to the sky.
"Firenze?" Harry called tentatively. Firenze turned around and rose to his feet. His powerful hooves connected with the forest floor with a resonant thud.
"Mr. Potter," Firenze said, his smile lending his voice a cheerful color. "My, you have grown. Last I saw you I could pick you up with one hand."
"It's good to see you! Do you live here?" Harry asked, looking around. "Where are the other centaurs?"
"Oh they're back at the camp," Firenze said. Harry could see his face much more clearly in the daylight. His smooth brow and relaxed smile gave off a sage-like calm.
"Did you get kicked out of the camp because you rescued me?" Harry asked, crestfallen.
"Oh no, I've never been popular. I upset them back even before I rescued you. I returned to the camp when their heads cooled. Whenever I offend again and must sleep alone, I find this place. Always here when I need it."
"The forest is kind," Harry said, smiling. Firenze beamed.
"Ah you really have grown. To know the forest's kindness at this age. You are truly a special one, Mr. Potter." Firenze welcomed Harry to the water's edge. Harry kicked off his shoes and dunked his toes in the cool, clear water.
"What brings you this far into the forest, Mr. Potter?" Firenze asked. Harry unravelled his hair from it's braid and flung it behind him on the grass as he laid back, relishing the feeling of cool grass on the back of his neck. Firenze joined him, settling back down again.
"I'm looking for a big rune" he said. He splayed his fingers and arms out dramatically to emphasize how big the rune was. "A demon told me the Hogwarts founders made a rune to power pocket dimensions in the forest and that it was failing."
"The demon came to you?" Firenze asked. He was fiddling with a bit of wood and a flint knife.
"Wait, 'the demon,' as in you know her?" Harry asked.
"Oh yes," Firenze replied as he tossed bits of wood into the grass. "She is a fierce protector of the forest and has been since the time of the founders. Our elders have passed on knowledge of her throughout the generations and we centaurs respect her. If you ask me everyone's terrified of her, but the herd's pride would never allow them to admit that. So they just tend to keep out of her way."
"She seemed pretty grouchy when I met her. I ran into her by chance because she was suspicious of me. If the forest didn't like me so much, she probably would have buried me alive or something."
"Unfortunately, that sounds exactly like something she would do." Firenze chuckled lightly to himself. He gave up whittling and stretched his muscular arms. Harry relaxed a bit more into the grass and enjoyed the sun on his face and the lively sound of water moving through the rocky stream.
"The rune you speak of is a secret we centaurs have guarded for centuries," Firenze said after a few more moments of silence. "I'm sure some of the others would object strongly to the fact that I told you, but I think the fact that the demon revealed this to you is a sign that you can be trusted. Besides, if the rune is not dealt with, our days in this forest are numbered."
"Thank you, Firenze" Harry said. "She mentioned that it was failing. I want to help fix it. I've been looking for it all day, but I just can't figure out where it is. Have you seen it? How bad is the damage?"
Firenze's expression was sad as he shook his head. "It is doing very poorly, Harry," he said. "I have warned the others countless times, but they say the stars forbid them from moving. They know it will collapse soon, but they are preparing to flee instead of trying to fix it."
"Well the stars aren't usually easy to read," Harry said, pouting. "It's like prophecies right? The future never works out like they say it will."
"Yes, Harry," Firenze said, the smile on his voice easy to hear. "The rune is doing very poorly as I said. It could go as early as tomorrow or in a few years. It will not last another decade. Recent intrusions have weakened it more severely."
"Can I see it? I did quite a bit of research and I have a theory about renewing the rune's power source."
Firenze seemed troubled at his request. "The centaurs will surely kill you for trespassing so close to the rune," he said. "They say the heavens have foretold your death and many in the herd refuse to interfere with the skies' designs, especially when you are involved."
"Foretold my death?" Harry asked, scoffing. "Get in line. There's already a prophecy foretelling my death. That, and I already died-twice."
"Twice?" Firenze asked, puzzled. "Am I speaking to your ghost?"
"Very funny," Harry said, laughing. "No, I died once when I was a baby and again last year."
"What happened to you last year?"
"You're kidding, right? None of the centaurs noticed the tournament?"
"We were forbidden from travelling close to Hogwarts during the tournament because of the increased human presence."
"Well, I was forced to compete in the tournament and I was kidnapped and tortured by death eaters." Harry stood and unbuttoned his shirt, baring the scars on his chest. Firenze was very troubled.
"I died for a few minutes," he finished, covering his chest again. "Ask anyone. I'm still recovering from my injuries, as well."
"I'm very sorry you had to go through that," Firenze said. "And I must confer with our leader over what this means. I think it is likely what we saw in the stars has already come to pass and we need not fear interacting with you. Our leader is wise and he has never been unfair to me. He will listen."
"Great," he said. "Does that mean I can go see the rune?"
Firenze looked at Harry with a small smile on his lips. "I know my herd. Even if the issue with your fate has been resolved, they would never let a human near. I will take you there. The rune will not last if we do nothing. You are a special person whose fate is written into the sky and I think you were meant to find me today. It will not be easy. I can provide a distraction, but you will need to hide yourself."
"Oh that's easy," Harry said laughing. He got up and transformed smoothly into his animagus form. Firenze laughed, throwing back his head and rising from his seat in the grass.
"You are full of surprises, Mr. Potter! Come, follow me from the skies. I will distract the guards near the rune and allow you to pass. You must work quickly." Harry nodded his head and took off, following closely as Firenze galloped deeper into the forest.
Before long, the trees surrounding them grew older and thicker, covered in layers of moss and dense vegetation. Harry could see an immense web of magic in the distance. Firenze stopped and Harry saw a small group of centaurs with raised weapons speaking harshly to him. Harry didn't stop and sped toward the magical web. Suddenly, the trees disappeared and he landed in the center of a massive slab of stone that was easily a mile wide and carved in the shape of the Hogwarts seal. The design was very different from the one he knew, but he could distinctly make out the eagle, gryffin, snake, and badger that symbolized the four founders. In the very middle, there lay a massive diamond, as big as a dinner plate. He reversed his transformation and quickly cast a barrier around himself. He knelt to examine the rune. It was built exactly as the founders described in their journals. The rune sectioned the forest into thousands of smaller dimensions and was powered by a stockpile of magic Harry could see was almost depleted. It had at most a year left in it before it failed and it was clear something needed to be done at once. He searched deeper into the forest's own magical power and found a massive bundle of magic that belonged to the forest itself. Harry began using his magic to seize the magical threads powering the rune, preparing to forge bonds between the forest's magic and the rune.
"What are you doing?" A voice echoed behind him. Harry recognized the voice as the demon's.
"I don't care how you found this place, human. You have no idea what you're dealing with. You don't stand a chance at restoring the rune."
"I spoke to the Grey Lady and I read the founders' journals. I can fix it. I just need enough power to join the rune with the forest's magical pool. It could work." He didn't look up from his work.
"It took the founders all they had to form the power source. You're just one person, and a child at that. You can't do it. You would die."
"If I don't have enough magic, I can borrow power from the astral plane," Harry said. "Firenze bought me this chance. I must try. The forest, everything in it, the school, it's all worth it."
"The living cannot wield the full power of the astral plane without severe consequences, child," the demon said, crouching down to watch what he was doing. "It is plain that your body has already tasted the consequences of touching the astral plane. This is suicide."
Harry didn't wait for her permission and began the process of bonding the rune to the forest's magical pool. All around him, he could hear the sound of many hooves striking stone. The centaurs were upon him, calling for him to stop. Harry ignored them and pressed on, giving more and more magic. When he exhausted his own reserves, he touched the astral plane just as his mother showed him in the graveyard the year before. His hands glowed and the power burned as it surged through him. Gradually, the rune's magical strands connected one by one to the forest's magical pool and the stone beneath him began to glow blue. Harry panted with the exertion, his hands blistering from the heat of the power and his body burning as if from within.
"You're dying. Spirits, he's dying. Don't you care for him?" The demon stood and circled Harry slowly. Her voice was calm as she watched him.
He is determined and he has the strength. We cannot sway him, nor can you, demon. Should he perish, he will be with us. This is a just cause and we will allow it.
As his strength waned, he dropped the shield around him. The centaurs remained where they stood, not daring to move closer. Harry's vision blurred, but he continued. "It's working," he gasped, crying out as his hands continued to burn. The pool of light beneath him spread a few more feet outward. As his body was engulfed in even more burning magic from the astral plane, Harry coughed and his blood dropped wetly onto the stone.
"Stop it!" the demon demanded. "You're dying! Can't you see you're dying? You fool!"
"Little human!" a gruff voice called. "We centaurs acknowledge your will, but we do not wish to see someone so young give up his life. Please stop and reconsider before it is too late." Harry shook his head weakly and closed his eyes. He could continue. Suddenly he was overwhelmed by a gust of magical wind and thrown to the side. The connection between himself and the rune was severed. He lay panting on his side, completely spent. The demon approached him.
"Foolish," she said, gently. Harry lost consciousness, not hearing anything else she had to say.
Harry's eyes fluttered open and he was somehow standing upright in a brilliant dreamscape awash with an amber glow. He was surrounded by a grove of trees made of pure light. In front of him, a massive owl with glowing white eyes appeared. It's appearance was unnerving, but Harry knew it meant him no harm. It took weighty steps towards him and touched its beak to his forehead. Harry's whole body shuddered and he was thrust out of the dreamscape and back into the real world, where he was floating along the shore of a lake he'd never seen before. Above him was the canopy of a massive tree whose branches appeared to be thousands of years old and whose growth was surely magical. Unintelligible whispers reached his ears under the water and golden afternoon sunlight shone through the leaves of the tree. He sat up and looked down at himself. His hands, though still scarred, were healed and looked as if he'd never walked into the forest that morning.
"So I'm alive," he said, to no one in particular.
"You sound disappointed," a rough, deep voice said behind him. Harry turned to find the voice's owner, a large centaur with black hair and hide and a regal face. He was as elegant as Firenze, with a clear air of authority. The demon stood at his side. Harry tried to stand, but stumbled and fell.
"Hold on, little one," the centaur said, a laugh creeping into his voice. He helped Harry up. "The forest might have saved you, but you are still unwell. You did something rather reckless."
"He did something stupid," the demon said, "but brave. You have the smell of a Gryffindor. I stopped you from killing yourself. You're lucky Magorian here and the other centaurs allowed you to come to this place."
"Thank you, Magorian," Harry sputtered. "I'm Harry. Where is this place? The forest saved me?"
"This is the heart of the forest, where its magic is the most potent. This lake has been known to be a place of healing, though the forest chooses who it saves. Clearly, you deserved saving for what you did. My herd and I thank you for putting your life on the line for the forest." The centaur bowed to Harry, fist over his heart.
"I only did what should have been done," Harry said, embarrassment turning his cheeks red. "And anyway I'm alive, so I didn't finish what I set out to do."
"Yes, but my scouts reported that you stabilized a few hundred regions of the forest, including the region where the herd lives and the areas damaged by death eaters this past spring. You have extended our time in the forest substantially and for that, all of us owe you a great debt."
Harry shivered in his wet clothes and quickly spelled himself dry. However, as the spell drew on his magical reserves, the air was knocked out of him and his knees buckled. Magorian caught him just in time and picked him up.
"Now, don't go undoing the forest's work," he said. He carried Harry in his arms and headed off into the forest. The demon followed them closely. "As Magorian said, you are unwell. After using that much magical power, you have done immense damage to your magical core."
"Again?" Harry asked, awkwardly holding onto Magorian's arms as he galloped through the forest.
"Of course," the demon said, glowing white eyes narrowing at him. "You gave up all of your magical reserves and channeled enough energy from the astral plane to power a small country for a year. You're lucky you still have a magical core. It was torn nearly to shreds. The forest repaired as much as it could and made your core whole again. You could have lost your ability to use magic forever." Harry looked at her with a panicked expression.
"You'll recover," she said, sighing. "It'll take a few months, of course. You just need to allow your magical reserves to regrow."
"That's a relief," Harry said. "I didn't think this could happen a second time."
"A second time?" the demon asked.
"Yes, I touched the astral plane last term and tore up my magical core in the process. There was another sentient magical being in a graveyard that healed me like the forest did."
"That sounds like some strange luck, little human," Magorian said.
"Luck indeed," scoffed the demon. "The damage you sustained was much more than a few tears this time. You must stop this behavior if you want to make it to adulthood, human."
"I've learned my lesson," Harry said. A short while later, they arrived at the centaur camp.
"Thank you, Magorian," Harry said, as they approached. "I can walk. I know it's offensive for a human to ride a centaur and I don't want to cause any trouble for you."
"You are very considerate," Magorian said, smiling as he set Harry down. "Though you should not fear. Carrying you was my choice. If anyone wishes to criticize me, I am capable of fending them off."
As they neared the camp, the demon disappeared. Firenze galloped up to the group. "Magorian," Firenze said in greeting, bowing deeply to Magorian. "How is Mr. Potter?" Harry noticed a few bruises and one in the shape of a hoof mark in the middle of his chest.
"The forest saved him, though the demon says his magical core is completely depleted. He won't be able to use magic properly for some time," Magorian replied. "You should worry for yourself, Firenze. Have you been to the healer?"
"I'm fine, Magorian," Firenze said, still looking concerned at Harry's appearance. "Bane can't do any real damage to me. I'm more worried about Mr. Potter. Bane is having a row with Ronan over the herd's involvement with him. I'm afraid he may try to harm Harry if he approaches the camp."
"Mr. Potter is under my protection," Magorian said, placing an arm around Harry's shoulders. He led the group to the centaur camp, a neat collection of tents and semi-permanent dwellings strewn with colorful textiles. Wooden posts of varying sizes holding up decorated cloth canopies marked each dwelling, with intricate carvings travelling up each post. The camp was organized in concentric circles surrounding a large fire pit in the middle, where all of the centaur males were gathered watching a shouting match between a large male with a black hide and mane and another red-bodied male of similar stature. It did not take long for Harry to pick out which one was Bane.
"The herd must not interfere with the stars' predictions," the male with the black hide shouted. His hooves stamped the dirt floor angrily. "We should have let him die. His futile effort to restore the forest should have ended in his death. You are a fool if you cannot see that, Ronan."
"He is but a foal, Bane," the red-bodied male replied, his voice doleful and glass-smooth. His face remained placid and his posture was tall and proud. "The herd would lose any face it had left if it lived on through the blood sacrifice of a foal. Besides, if the stars recorded his fate, there must be more to his existence. Perhaps he lacked the power this time. He stabilized hundreds of dimensions within the forest. He may yet come up with a permanent solution."
"But the heavens-" Bane began. He was cut off abruptly by Magorian, who bellowed.
"The heavens demand that we centaurs honor the bravery of others, Bane. Or did you throw away all sense of honor?" Magorian gestured to Harry. "As you can plainly see, the forest chose to save Mr. Potter from death. If it was the heavens' will that he die today, do you think he would be standing here?"
Bane snarled at Harry and then at Magorian. "How do we know we haven't interfered with the heavens by bringing him to the heart of the forest? We should not have intervened. Who knows what disaster this will bring?"
"The heavens' will has already been fulfilled, Bane," Firenze said, stepping forward. "Mr. Potter truly died last spring. By some miracle, he returned, but his death has already come to pass as the heavens intended. Our actions have not interfered with the stars' designs."
"Lies!" Bane shouted, growing more agitated by the second. He lunged at Firenze, but Harry stepped in front of him, one arm outstretched, and took hold of Bane's soul with his necromancy, stopping Bane in his tracks.
"Please stop, Bane," Harry said, his gaze steely and cold.
Bane continued to struggle against Harry's grasp on his soul. The other centaurs grew quiet, watching Harry warily. "How?" he asked. Harry stepped closer to Bane and forced him to kneel. He placed his hands on either side of Bane's face and looked into his eyes. He forced his memories of the third task into Bane's mind. In a few seconds, they relived Harry's harrowing experience, the attack, the cruciatus, the stab wounds, the burning spiritual energy tearing through him, and finally, the cold embrace of death. Bane's face was contorted in an anguished, silent scream when Harry finally let him go, panting with the exertion. He was winded and his whole body trembled as if he'd just sprinted up a steep hill. Firenze placed a supporting arm on this back to steady him. Bane gasped and stumbled back away from him, a horrified expression on his face.
"Do you see now, Bane? The stars' predictions have already come to pass and Mr. Potter has shown himself worthy of the heavens' respect," Firenze said, turning slowly to face all of his brethren. "He has extended our time in the forest by putting his own life at risk despite all of the pain he has already endured. He deserves our respect and protection." The other centaurs seemed to wake from their stupor and bowed solemnly to Harry.
"Mr. Potter, I mark you as a friend of the herd," Magorian said, loud enough for everyone in the herd to hear. "None of my people shall trouble you and you are free to enter the forest as you please. You have my word as leader of this herd."
"Thank you, Magorian," Harry said. He turned to Bane. "I'm sorry you had to see that." He turned away from Bane, not waiting to hear his response.
"Mr. Potter needs to be returned to Hogwarts before he is missed," Firenze said.
"Agreed," Magorian said. "We shall escort him personally out of the forest. Ronan, continue scouting the forest to determine which regions have been restored and to what extent. We will return shortly."
As they exited the camp, Magorian picked up Harry in his great arms and began to gallop. "You should not have used magic," he said, eyes fixed on the trees ahead of him. "You can't fool me, Mr. Potter. We centaurs know a great deal about healing magic. Even if Bane deserved whatever you showed him, that stunt took a toll on your body."
"I just wanted to stop a fight," Harry said, still feeling awkward being carried princess-style through the forest. "Wasn't really thinking. Is every spell going to feel like that?"
"I suspect basic spells will do you no harm, but anything more complicated like that legilimens you cast will exhaust you. If you use anything terribly powerful, you may die. In any case, please think more carefully before you cast anything else for at least the next few months. Using your magic will only delay your recovery."
"I will. Thank you, Magorian," Harry said. Magorian and Firenze left Harry at the edge of the forest. He snuck back up into the castle just as dinner was ending and fell asleep in his bed before the other boys made it back to the dormitory.
"What are you looking at?" Ron asked on the way to breakfast the next morning. Harry blinked and turned his attention to Ron.
"Nothing, just spacing out," Harry replied. He couldn't help but dart his eyes just past Ron's head, where the demon stood leaning over one of the bannisters of the grand staircase. He shook his head and followed Ron to the Great Hall. The demon continued making appearances in all of his classes that day and throughout the next week.
As far as Harry knew, no one suspected that he'd almost died in forbidden forest the day before, or that he was experiencing complete magical exhaustion. He had already been taking some of his meals privately with Dobby's help and he was already sleeping most of the day. If he was honest, his friends were busy with their prefect duties and he hardly saw them anyhow. Normally, he would have been a bit lonely, but the isolation served his needs well for the time being.
Harry's Transfiguration class had just begun work on conjuring and Charms was only just beginning the reductor curse, so the spells were simple. He performed the spells correctly one time in each class and spent the rest of class pretending to be reading as he avoided staring at the demon, who never failed to appear across the room in every class. Because of his detentions with Umbridge, he'd been unable to attend extra revision sessions. In between class, his fatigue had gotten much worse and he seemed to crash-land into his naps during every free hour.
One afternoon, Harry barely made it to his favorite corner of the library before he collapsed into his arms and fell asleep. He'd only been asleep for a few minutes when he was suddenly shaken awake. He leapt to his feet, fists raised and tried to focus on the person in front of him.
"Come on, Harry. Umbridge is coming this way. She'll give you more detention if she catches you sleeping here," Cedric Diggory said as he sat Harry back down. He summoned a book to the library desk and propped it up as if explaining something to Harry, who had managed to pry his eyes open and stare at the book. For good measure, Cedric hastily cast a few notice me not charms. Just as Cedric said, Umbridge stormed through the library a few seconds later, issuing citations to practically everyone in the library for everything from wearing the wrong tie to leaning too far back in the chairs. Thankfully, she missed Harry and Cedric. When she left, Cedric put down the book and sighed in relief.
"Those damn educational decrees," Cedric said. "She's like a jail warden."
"Yeah I already have detention with her tonight. Thanks for waking me up,"Harry said, his eyelids already closing. "I was out like a light. Don't want to give her any more reason to give me more detention."
"No problem, mate. Glad you didn't tackle me this time," Cedric said, ruffling Harry's hair. "You look like you need more rest. Go on, I'll keep a lookout. I have some homework to do anyway." The demon appeared next to him, appearing amused. "So he's shown himself at last. You know he follows you around every day?"
"I don't want to burden you," Harry said, ignoring the demon. He was still fighting sleep. He forced his eyes to stay open. "You really don't have to."
"Harry, it's fine. Really. I just run into you a lot by chance." Cedric was trying and failing to appear nonchalant. Harry chuckled, his drowsiness loosening his brain to mouth filter.
"You're a bad liar," he said. Harry reached into his bag and fished out the Marauder's map. "Solemnly swear, no good, and all that" he said, tapping the map with his finger. Harry had long since cracked the magical combination to the map so that the exact words were no longer necessary, but he needed to say something in order for the enchantments to work.
"Here, use this," Harry continued, unfolding the map to where they were and pointing haphazardly at their names. "Wake me up when it's time for class." Cedric stared at Harry with a dumbfounded expression on his face. Harry collapsed into his arms again, deeply asleep within seconds. Cedric was true to his word and allowed Harry to sleep through to the next class. When he woke, he was ready for Harry's flailing fists, dodging him skillfully before Harry realized where he was.
"Thanks, Ced," Harry said, yawning.
"No problem, Harry," Cedric said, packing up his books. He handed the map to Harry.
"Keep it," Harry said. "It's only a copy. Tap it with your wand and say 'mischief managed' when you want to hide it and 'I solemnly swear I am up to no good' when you want to use it. I didn't make that up, I swear." Cedric smiled and stowed the map in his bag.
"Thanks. I can only guess where you got such a thing. Where's your next class? Transfiguration? Great, I've got charms next. Let's walk together." He walked Harry to his next class, looking worriedly at him at every turn. Once they reached the transfiguration classroom, he continued on to his own class.
"You know he lied," the demon said, materializing next to Harry I'm the hall. Harry looked at her questioningly.
"He has herbology next. Completely in the opposite direction. He's probably running to get there now." She laughed as she peered around the corner to watch Cedric leave. Harry sighed and did his best to ignore her. Later that day after dinner, Harry reported to Umbridge's office for detention. As usual, the blood quill awaited him. Though the forest had healed his wound, he sliced a fresh wound into his arm to power the quill. As always, he caught Umbridge flinching at the sight of his blood.
"You would think the person who brought that monstrosity to a school would be less squeamish," the demon said, looking disdainfully at the blood quill. Harry carried on with his work, injured forearm face up. The demon tapped her fingers noiselessly on his desk. She approached Umbridge slowly.
"You know, I could kill her," she said. "I may not be able to cast spells, but I can rip her soul out of her body." Harry's eyes widened and he shook his head. Umbridge looked up from her book.
"What is it, Mr. Potter?" She asked, the candy sweetness gone from her voice.
"Oh nothing, professor." Harry replied hastily.
"Hm, continue writing."
The demon placed a hand around Umbridge's fat neck. Harry watched with wide eyes as Umbridge fidgeted with the collar around her neck. Beads of sweat rolled down her face and she cleared her throat a few times. Harry could stand no more. He dropped the quill to the floor and knelt to the floor as if to pick it up. As was kneeling, he manipulated his soul out of his body, allowing his body to collapse to the side.
"Please don't kill my professor while I'm the only possible murderer in the room," Harry said in his astral form. Umbridge saw Harry's body on the floor at last and went to his side, thankfully, away from the demon's grasp.
"Wouldn't taking care of her save you some trouble?" The demon asked.
"Not when it looks like I murdered her," Harry said. "And besides, I need her alive to figure out what's going on in the ministry. If I kill her now, my enemies get tipped off." Umbridge slowly touched Harry's body and recoiled.
"I see," the demon said, flatly. She seemed disappointed.
"I really appreciate your intentions," Harry continued, watching Umbridge grow slowly more panicked at the sight of his body, "but I just don't think killing her now is the right answer. And look at her. She's having a panic attack just seeing me unconscious. She's harmless."
"I wouldn't say harmless," the demon said, brightening a little at Harry's words, "but I see your point. She can live...for now."
"Thank you," Harry sighed, before diving quickly back into his body. He opened his eyes and backed away from Umbridge.
"You!" Umbridge cried. "What was that? What happened?"
"I-uh must have stood up too quickly. You know, with all the blood loss," he said, gesturing to the blood quill. "Do you mind if I finish this tomorrow night? I'm really not feeling well."
"Yes, alright, just get out before you bleed on the carpet," Umbridge replied, scrambling back behind her desk. Harry collected his things and left her office.
As he neared the grand staircase, Harry found a group of people waiting for him. Hermione, Ron, Draco, Pansy, Padma, Anthony Goldstein, Hannah Abbott, and Ernie Macmillan were gathered just outside the third floor corridor.
"Evening. Am I crashing a prefect party?" Harry asked, chuckling lightly.
"Actually, Harry," Draco said, stepping in front of the group, "we have an idea and we need your help."
"We know you're trying to stay out of the trouble with Umbridge," Hermione said, "but all of the houses think the defense curriculum this year is dangerously inadequate. We're all sure to fail the Defense O.W.L.s if we keep going down this path. The 5th prefects are all here to ask you to teach a group of students who want to learn proper defense."
"You're all being so formal," Harry said, laughing awkwardly. "You know I'd be happy to help, but why me? Surely there's an older student who could do a better job."
"Well, the 6th and 7th years are all stressed out over N.E.W.T.s and they don't have time. You're more experienced than anybody at actual defense," Pansy said
"Yeah, Harry," Ron said, joining in. "We all talked about it and we couldn't think of anyone better than you."
Harry raked a hand through his hair. After a brief pause, he said, "Okay. I want to meet with everyone who's interested so we can straighten out all the details. I want to be careful about this. Umbridge wouldn't be happy about it if she knew."
"Of course, Harry," Hermione said, "we'll arrange everything. Aside from teaching, you can leave all the logistics to us. It's only fair." The group spent a few more minutes settling on a meeting at the Hog's Head during their next Hogsmeade visit before heading to their dorms. Harry collapsed into bed after changing his clothes and curled into a ball under his covers.
"You were far too nice," the demon said, appearing suddenly in the dormitory. Harry yelped in surprise and sat bolt upright. The other boys stopped their nighttime rituals and looked at him in surprise.
"You alright Harry?" Dean asked, toothbrush hanging out of his mouth.
"Oh, yeah, sorry. I uh dreamt I was falling," Harry replied. All of his roommates, bless their souls, nodded in understanding and went back to what they were doing. The demon squinted her eyes and shook her head.
"I never thought boys could be...so boyish," she said as she watched Ron toss his shoes and soiled socks into his trunk before flopping onto his bed with a quidditch magazine. Harry stared at her and rolled his eyes. He bade the boys goodnight, closed his bed hangings, and astral projected to speak with the demon without raising suspicion.
"Okay, why are you following me?" Harry asked as he passed through the bed curtains to stand beside the demon.
"You're interesting," she replied.
"That can't be it," Harry said, crossing his arms. "You were completely disinterested when we first met. What's changed?"
The demon sighed. "I want to know what makes you tick, Harry Potter. What makes a human like you want to lay down his life for a forest full of creatures he barely knows?"
"The school would have been destroyed too, you know."
"Yes, but you weren't just thinking about the school. You said 'the forest, everything in it, the school, it's all worth it,'" she replied in mock imitation of Harry.
"So I admit I'm a little dramatic," Harry said as Seamus passed through his ghostly body, "and I may have a complex of sorts with saving people."
"But that isn't it, is it?" the demon asked, totally focused on Harry now. "You have selfish, boyish thoughts just like your friends here. There's something different about you, though. That day in the forest, you didn't flinch at the thought of dying."
"Maybe it's because I've gone through dying and it's not so bad," Harry said, wondering where this conversation was going.
"No, child," the demon said, sadness creeping into her voice for the first time since Harry had known her, "you wanted to die in the forest, like it was a relief."
Harry sighed. "Oh, is that all?" He sat on the floor, his back leaning up against his bed. One of the boys turned out the light, leaving Harry and the demon alone in the dark, the room only dimly lit by the moon. "Yeah, I've been told I have a death wish. I've thought about dying for as long as I can remember. Not too surprising, isn't it? Given what my life has been like. Is it so bad that I want rest?"
It is a sadness etched into his bones, demon. You know this feeling well, the spirits chimed in. Harry looked to the demon in surprise. Sadness was your mother and father, demon.
"So it was," the demon said, sitting down across from Harry. She paused and looked at Harry briefly. "I do understand, child. I was once a soul, the soul of the first woman and of thousands after her. You have heard many of my names in magical history and muggle history. The only commonality between all of them was suffering. It was constant and I was doomed to embody all of the suffering a woman could face. I was murdered, raped, betrayed, heartbroken, kidnapped, hungry, and so much more. Men were unfailingly cruel, but at times, so were other women. The sexual violence, emotional trauma, constant inequity, all of it was unbearable. At the worst of times, I was born with a male body and desperately mistreated when I tried to live as a woman. Each time I came back, the sadness of my past lives followed me."
"What about the wraiths? Couldn't they have taken you?" Harry asked.
"No, my soul remained whole despite my suffering. I don't know why. I think it was because I had so much hope that the next life would be better. It never was. And then one day, perhaps a thousand years ago, I became this."
"How?"
"Death, the being, turned me into this by burning away my connection with the other spirits. I exist now as a pure being of spiritual energy, no longer a soul, no connection to the physical world or the astral plane at all."
"Are there more of you?"
"No, I was a special case. Each time I died, Death was there to greet me and ask how my life was. Near the end, I feared being reborn so much that Death could not stand to send me on to the astral plane, where I would surely be reborn again. He severed my connection with the astral plane and never did it again for any other soul. I suppose it would be cruel to do unless Death was sure that it was for the best."
"Cruel? Surely not?" The demon shook her head, as if remembering the memory of a fine meal.
"Returning to the astral plane is like being at home, at peace. There's no other way to describe it. It feels like you'll never be alone again. To be denied that bliss is an act of cruelty."
"So you gave that up?"
"I did. I was despondent for the first few years after it happened. Eventually, I grew to understand that it was an act of mercy."
Harry hugged his knees closer to his chest. "I don't know if my suffering is on the same level as yours, demon. I don't know if I could ever give that up."
The demon laughed, her glowing white eyes squinting in amusement. "Suffering is relative, child. What you're feeling now is all that matters. You have been through a lot, even by my standards." The demon paused again, the amusement slipping away from her face. "Your soul will bear the memory of this life when you die and when you are born again. It is possible this yearning for death that you feel is the residue of your past lives influencing your current one. I always wondered if another soul took my place when I left. I always hoped that wasn't the case, but after seeing you, I'm not so sure."
"I don't suppose the spirits keep track of, uh, how much suffering a soul goes through," Harry said. Legion was silent. The demon laughed again.
"No, the spirits, wise as they are, do not consider these things. They are too many voices. That they've taken an interest in you is miracle enough. Besides, your life is just a flash in time. Once you die, you will be with them again and it will be as if you had never left, another voice in an uncountable sea of voices."
Harry sighed and ran a hand through his hair. The demon had lapsed into spirit-talk and he wasn't following. "This is all very interesting, but it sounds like you and Death were friends. Won't you feel conflicted about helping me stop him?"
The demon shook her head slowly. "No, our paths diverged long ago. For a long time, I was their only companion and they were ours. Both of us longed for a deeper connection with the living things around us. Beings like the ones in the forest welcomed my help, but they feared Death. After a time, Death became strange and cruel. They tortured souls so that they could not cross into the next life. When the wraiths interfered, they turned them into horrible creatures and I...I could watch no longer. I doubt they even noticed when I left. Their fixation on keeping broken souls like taxidermied animals was too much. Then one day Death did something unforgivable and the spirits exacted punishment."
"I wish we could help them see reason,"Harry said. "Death was such a kind friend to you. Maybe they can be saved." The demon laughed and looked at Harry with a softened gaze.
"You are unusual and you are kind," she said. "But you did not see Death's wrongdoings firsthand. No, it isn't possible. I did hope for a time that they could be reasoned with, but their mind is lost."
"I'm sorry," Harry said.
"As am I," the demon replied. "To bed with you, child. You require rest."
"Oh, not you too, demon" Harry whined as he rose.
"I will tolerate no complaints from you until you learn to look after your own health," she said, herding him back to his body with waving hands, "and call me Mentor. If I am to help you, you shall address me with respect."
"Yes, Mentor," Harry sighed before diving back into his body and falling fast asleep.