A/N: I don't own Harry Potter or any related characters
This is for the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Assignment #11 Health and Fitness -Task 4 - Corpse Pose: Writing about dealing with the aftermath of a death
Word Count: 654
Warning: Mentions of death and suicide
Haunted by the ghosts of you,
your laughter at three am,
your voice promising me it will be alright,
just whispers on the wind.
I know you're gone,
need to accept it,
need to move on,
but there's just too much left to hold on to.
The way he smiles, the way you did,
his face is your face, identical, but not the same.
His voice, your voice, just with a slightly different inflection,
just a slight difference in how he says my name.
Sometimes I can hear it, can imagine it coming from his lips.
How can I move on when you're still here?
How can I put you behind me knowing I'll never stop seeing your face?
Broken and crying, he's holding me the way you used to.
He's there waiting, offering a shoulder to cry on, but it's your shoulder, not his, I feel beneath my cheek.
How can I move on, how can I forget you when he's still here?
I can't...
I can't...
I can't...
I can't make you leave, make you move out of my heart.
There's only one way I can ever forget you, only one way I can ever put you in my past.
He's standing there, smiling, looking at me almost like you used to.
His voice saying my name, whispering my name as I try to fight back the tears,
as I try not to fall to the ground in pain, in grief.
Only one way to put you in the past,
only one way to move on.
Alone.
I need to be alone, but he cares too much,
doesn't realize I can't see him,
only you,
only you as he holds me,
only you as he meets me for coffee,
only you as I try so hard not to let him get too close.
I can't be the girl he wants,
he can't be you,
he isn't you,
I will never be you and for that,
for that I need him gone as well.
It's not as hard as I thought it would be,
I'm freeing myself from you,
from the pain,
from the hole your death has left in my heart,
a hole he wanted to fill,
but instead only caused more pain, more grief.
There is nowhere I can go,
nowhere I can hide to protect myself from these feelings,
from these failings to forget.
Too much alike and now, now so similar in death,
so beautiful as I watch the blood trail from his lips.
So much like you as they pulled you from the rubble,
twins united in life, united in death and I,
I in this moment,
feel a freedom, a breath of air surrounding my heart.
Too much pain to survive on our own.
The blade turns towards me now,
I know what I have to do,
I can't...
I can't...
I know what they will say,
I know where they will put me,
lock me away from the world,
no one will ever understand how,
why,
no one will know the pain I've felt,
the relief I've felt in this one shining moment as I thrust the blade beneath my breasts
falling
falling
falling onto him,
onto you,
my clothes were covered in dust,
in debris as I begged and pleaded for your life.
No one heard, no one ever hears,
only one thing is true and that is death,
and soon,
soon
I shall join you,
not him,
not the false version of you that I clung to briefly hoping that his face would stop being yours,
that his words would stop echoing yours,
that his love would be the key to breaking,
to forgetting,
but instead it only led to disaster and I,
I never could accept failing,
failing to save you,
failing to fall for him,
but in this moment,
I have succeeded and soon,
soon we shall finally be reunited in death.