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Special thanks to Hellacre for her editing.
Chapter 25- Alakazam, Bitch!
Day 28 (continuation)
Planet Almerac – City of Deruvan - Province of Mannare
The Martian's arrival to the City-Watch Headquarters was one minute sooner than expected.
"Do you have her located?" he asked the officer in charge, skipping the formalities.
"Oh. We most certainly do. Hi, J'onn," answered Zatanna, entering the surveillance room. "Sergeant, if you please."
The soldier stroke some keys on the console.
"There you have it. A harmless, old man difficultly walking down the street, right? Now show him what Green Lantern revealed to us, Sergeant, " requested the Magician.
Turning on the holofilter in the frequency discovered by GL's ring, under the decrepit appearance of the senior citizen, the unmistakable silhouette of a young woman could clearly be seen bending over, as to make the deception even more believable.
"Ta-da! Ultra be-atch in all her glory. John is watching over her to prevent her escape. We were expecting you to arrive before deciding what to do. Should we follow her to see if she lead us to other Darkseid minions possibly hiding on the planet?" asked Zee.
"I think she's too dangerous to let her roam through Almerac's cities freely. Let's capture her first and interrogate her." Said the Martian.
"Capture her will be problematic enough but, if we succeed, I doubt we'll get something from her. I wish we had Diana's Lasso of Truth," added Zatanna.
"You don't happen to have any spell to make her confess, do you?" J'onn's question was merely formal.
"Darkseid has his minions' brains wired by Desaad, in a way that, when you force them to give an answer they don't willingly submit, or try to hypnotize them, some arteries break and they suffer a massive brain stroke. Those who survive it, would never function properly again, they're reduced to little more than vegetables. In fact, this also prevents any negative thought about Darkseid. This was a measure taken shortly after Barda and Mr. Miracle defected, the first two in millennia. The self proclaimed god is a cruel ruler and you won't be crossing him twice. He calls it 'induced loyalty'. I know what you're thinking, J'onn, but no, mind reading is also out of the question due to the chemical reactions a brain scan produces," she responded.
"Clever. I wouldn't expect less from the Dark Lord. Still, we need to apprehend Lashina. She can cause too much damage if left unsupervised."
"Any plans?" she asked.
"Whatever tactic we'd use, she'll put up a fight, and she won't go down easily. I say John and I surround her. I want you to handle the most difficult part, which is keeping civilians safe from the destruction a battle with her may cause. While I and GL keep her busy, you move any civilian out of danger. Besides, if Lashina puts her hands on one or more innocents, it will give her a bargaining chip and she could turn the tables against us. If we give her nothing to negotiate, it'll give us a strategic advantage also," J'onn said.
"What about cops?" asked Zee.
"I'm not sure the local security forces can handle her. I'm more inclined to believe they can't…," began the Martian.
"Which won't stop them from trying anyway, making our task ten times more difficult. I know. If I can, I'll remove them too." Zatanna put on her shiny hat, tapping the top "Ready when you…"
"Lantern here. She's on the move, guys! I think she smells something!" called Stewart.
"On our way. Don't lose her." J'onzz grabbed the sorceress by the waist and took off. Landing on the roof top of a three story building near the Captain of the Furies' location, he said to Zatanna, "Sorry for the abrupt 'jaunt' but…"
"Time is of the essence, no problem," the sorceress interrupted. "Next time, be a little gentler, though. I almost leave my Pradas behind. There's no magic that could replace them. Now shut up and let me see what's going on."
At street level the events were unfolding rather quickly. Having spotted GL one block behind her, Lashina suddenly dropped the holographic façade and, pulling two anti-grav discs from her back, she jumped on them. Having an undeniable appetite for combat, instead of making a run for it, the Fury went straight towards John, unfolding the flexible metallic bands hidden in her forearms with an electric sizzling. She had every intention of taking him out. When the woman was about to slash him, Stewart projected two green hands with his ring and removed the anti-grav discs from beneath her. The way she fell and rolled on the pavement was almost comical. At least, it wasn't elegant at all, Zatanna thought. Less than a second later, Lashina was back on her feet. J'onn considered it his cue to intervene "Zee, get the people out of here!"
"Give yourself up, Lashina. You can't escape the planet and none of Darkseid allies can enter the atmosphere without being detected. It's over!" J'onn shouted, as he was nose diving.
"Oh, the Martian. Now 'this' is a party, as you like to say".
She looked back to John. "You took me by surprise, Lantern. Let me return the favor."
She threw one end of the whip band in Stewart's direction. He raised a shield of green energy to block it but, to his astonishment, it was shattered by the metallic tip. If John didn't move his head, it would have been severed. It still grazed his neck.
"Surprised? Yes, we found a way to cut through your constructs now. Courtesy of Sinestro Corps technology." She laughed.
At the same time J'onn was sneaking behind her "Ah-ah-ah! Don't be jealous, Manhunter. I've got something for you too. From the very pits of Apokolips with love, whatever that is."
She drew a gun from her belt, which happened to be a flame thrower. It was the same kind of fire that eternally burns in the pits of her home planet: not a common combustion type, but more like the nuclear reaction that takes place in the surface of a star. J'ozz deviated the barrel in the nick of time with his arm, but got it seriously burned. With a tremendous kick to his chest, she threw him against a brick wall, bringing it down and almost the whole building with it..
"J'onn!" shouted Stewart. "Okay, lady. You may be able to cut through my constructs, but how about dodging bullets?" With the help of his ring, he made an M16 full auto assault rifle with a grenade launcher and opened fire on her. This gave J'onn a breathing second to get back on his feet.
A transparent bubble surrounded Lashina, a force field to protect her from the bullets. Before the bubble completely closes, GL managed to hit the flame thrower, forcing her to drop it. Inside the field she wasn't able to use her electrified whip-bands, so Stewart continued firing on her while moving closer. The Martian was also approaching from behind the Fury. They would take her with them wrapped inside the bubble if needed.
That won't do for Lashina, she had still a lot of fight in her, but she needed to drop the field. She did just that and J'onn, quick as lightning, grabbed her from behind, while GL made the M16 disappear, making a set of hand cuffs in its stead. That was the opening she was hoping for; throwing her head back she violently head-butted the Martian in the nose and kicked his crotch at the same time, while lashing one of her whip bands around Stewart's neck, choking and paralyzing him.
"And you, puny male creatures, thought you can take me just like that? Me? A Fury from almighty Darkseid's Elite Guard? A New God? Pathetic!" she laughed.
Under the sizzling of her metallic bands and the sound of her own laughter, the Captain of the Furies didn't hear a subtle 'Poof' behind her. A gloved hand touched her shoulder, calling for her attention. When she turned to see, Zee swung her hat with all her strength plus the strength of seven strong magical demons, across her face, knocking Lashina's lights out.
"Alakazam, bitch!"
John Stewart, freeing himself from the band around his neck, stared at her incredulously.
Hitting gently her top hat with her knuckles, Zatanna said with a wide smile, "Urusite, the strongest and hardest material known by the homo-magi, yet, one of the lightest. My magic wand's made of it as well. Very rare. Quite handy."
"You are an amazing woman…!" said GL admiringly. Then, as if he had just said something inappropriate, added "Annoying, but amazing."
"Good job, Zatanna. Thank you!" J'onn was trying to reshape his nose before helping Stewart to restrain the Fury. After removing every possible weapon from Lashina's unconscious body they wrapped it in her own metallic bands, now deactivated, and encased her inside a green energy box to take her in front of Queen Maxima, so the ruler could decide her destiny.
"A very tough witch, this one," commented Stewart.
"Yes. For a moment , I forgot she can give Wonder Woman a run for her money." The Martian touched his burnt arm.
"Yeah. But not as tough as our little enchantress here!" GL put his hand on Zatanna's shoulder. She looked at him and smiled.
"It was just timing and opportunity." She blushed " You guys will do much better in not underestimating what a determined woman can do," she added with a defiant tone.
"I'll never do that again." John put his fingers near the wound on his neck, which made him flinch.
"Oh, poor cry baby! Let me see that, 'Green Nancy'!" Zee mocked him.
"You know what? Huh? You know what?" Lantern sounded menacing.
"WHAT!?" She wasn't going to back down an inch.
"I've had it! I should've done this long before!" He pulled her little frame against him and kissed her lovely mouth.
Although Zee made the kiss last longer than he expected, when they broke it he asked, "Please, don't turn me into a toad?"
"I don't wanna kiss a toad: I've already found my Prince Charming." She kissed him back, this time more passionately.
When he thought the display of affection lasted long enough, "A-hem!" J'onzz loudly cleared his throat. "Sorry. I'm really happy for the both of you, but I believe we still have some work to do."
"Yes…of course, of course!" Stewart was still dizzy from the kiss.
"Sorry. Not sorry!" she boldly said.
"Girl! You really know how to kiss!" GL whispered in Zee's ear.
"You ain't see nothing, yet, little green Toad, " she responded passing her thumb over John's lips to clean the rest of her lipstick. "Back to the matter at hand!" she added in a louder voice.
After securing the Fury for travel, they asked the commander of the City-Watch forces to contact the Royal Palace and warn them they should tighten the security; they were transporting a very dangerous prisoner.
The Leaguers took flight, heading to the Capital. John Stewart made an energy sphere for Zatanna to travel inside and, on his other side, he was pulling the green box containing Lashina, who was slowly regaining consciousness.
"'Alakazam, bitch!?' Seriously?" He asked Zatanna out of the blue.
"Hey! I was having my 'Yippee-Ki-Yay moment'! A 'Yippee-Ki-Yay moment' demands a tough remark, okay?!" Zee snapped.
"Riiight…" He could hardly hide his laughter.
"The fact that you remember it, Ringo, means it worked! Besides, she was cleaning the floor with…!" As the discussion heated, J'onn face-palmed, thinking this was gonna be worst than when they couldn't stand each other.
"What…? Where…? You're all dead! I'm a Fury of the Elite Guard, and…!" shouted Lashina, now fully recovered.
"Tup a kroc ni ti!" said Zatanna. A huge cork plugged the Fury's mouth. "That's more like it. Now, where were we…?
"It's going to be a long trip," lamented the Martian. His only source of consolation was he was going to see Maxima again. I'm sick, I can't… I must be sick, he thought.
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Planet Almerac – City of Potentoris – Royal Palace
Throne Hall
Queen Maxima was reading the message from the Province of Mannare the communications officer just brought in.
"I knew he wouldn't let me down! Schedule Keeper!" she called.
"At your service, Exalted One!" he answered.
"Clear Our schedule for today, no more audiences! Please, re-program first those you consider most urgent. Right now We have very important matters to attend to."
"As you command, Exalted One." The Queen saying 'please' was something he'll never get used to, it still worried him and, above all, scared him.
Other things scared the monarch. Her heart was warming to the thought of a steady relationship with J'onn J'onzz and he was responding accordingly, but the Martian was not a fool, sooner or later he'll find out her involvement in his comrades disappearance, and then what? Her beauty and sexual allure won't be enough to dissuade him to pursue the truth.
"Those Leaguers and their precious truth!" she thought. As a ruler, she learnt that 'truth' is that which best suits the government needs, but this wasn't an affair of state, this was about being honest with an honest man, who, so far, had done nothing but help the ruler and her world. A warm, caring, honest man…Kloss! Being concern about another person's feelings was an entirely new concept for her. The pain on her chest told she wasn't worried about what consequences her previous actions would bring upon her as a ruler. She was a Queen, for crying out loud! She had a million ways to get away with murder if she wanted! Even if the Guardians (nasty little blue imps) gather an interstellar court to judge her, no one would risk an intergalactic war to make one person pay for her crimes. She wasn't a universal menace like Darkseid or that living machine Braniac, she was the sovereign of a small system of, mostly, peaceful planets. Besides, she helped a number of times against really nasty and really big enemies of everything living.
No, she was afraid of hurting the one person who actually extended a hand and opened his heart to her, she was terrified she could lose his newfound affection.
Sadness. The idea of losing him caused a great deal of sadness to Maxima. Not rage. Not indignation like she felt before when she was rejected by Kal-El. Just quiet, painful, all-consuming sadness. Like a claw tearing her chest apart. The Queen hated sadness. The look of disappointment in her father's eyes when he found out his wife, her mother, was gone with another man, and ever since. That was a look she would never want to see in those expressive red Martian eyes. It might be worst accusation that all the tribunals in the whole universe could throw at her. It was, however, inevitable: sooner or later he was to find out, and then…what?
Her every instinct told her it would be much better if he knew about it from her own lips rather than finding out by himself. She wanted to explain to him that person was no longer who she was, it was a decision made in anger and she regretted it now, but fear advised Maxima to delay her confession as long as possible. Sometimes, being too honest and sincere could be the equivalent to committing suicide. "He! 'Sincericide'!" she thought. The word made her involuntarily smile.
Kloss knows she would give anything if Kal-El, the Amazon whore and the grumpy human were found alive. Well, almost everything in the latter's case.
Much to the ruler's surprise, she discovered she was no longer mad at anyone of them. She only wanted her current predicament to disappear so she could enjoy some time with her 'Emerald Beast', but now Lashina was apprehended and Darkseid plans were about to fall flat, all the Leaguers' attention would be redirected to the investigation of their comrades' fate. She had no doubt they usually got what they were looking for.
"The Leaguers and their prisoner are landing on the parade ground, Exalted One," said the chief of guards entering the Throne Hall.
"Splendid! Have twenty of your best men in full combat gear here at once. All non essential personnel vacate the hall. Now," the Queen ordered.
Zatanna thought it would be funny presenting the Fury in full Hannibal Lecter regalia: with mask, straightjacket and strapped to a handcart, so she did. She lamented such an inspired comedy moment would only be appreciated by Stewart and herself…and maybe the Martian. They were admitted into the hall with no delay.
"Bring the prisoner forward!" ordered Maxima "Oh! Very amusing how you're presenting this criminal." Seeing Zee's surprised expression, she added "Yes, We've seen some of your moving images books when We were bored to death during Our time on Earth. Some were even entertaining for Us. Mildly."
There might still be hope for you after all, Exalted None, the magician thought.
"Are you sure she can't break free?" the ruler inquired.
"Those are magical bonds, Exalted One. Not even ten like her could get rid of them," explained Stewart.
Lashina was struggling and trying to shout at all of them, but the sorceress had left the cork in her mouth under the mask as a precaution.
"Good. J'onn…" there was something special in how Maxima said his name. GL and Zee couldn't help but look at each other in understanding. "…I want to personally thank you… and your people for this great service to my Government. When this is all over I'm going to make you three honorary members of the Royal Guard. From this moment forward, anything the Justice League needs from my Queendom is at your disposal."
"Such an honor, Exalted One" the Martian said. The three took a bow "May I ask what are the plans for the prisoner?"
"An interrogation is in order, of course, followed by a swift execut…" A look at J'onn's concerned expression forced her to backpedal, "…followed by a public trial for terrorism and crimes against the state, and then…"
"Excuse me, Queen Maxima" intervened Zatanna. Next, she proceeded to explain why conventional methods of interrogation wouldn't work with Darkseid's servants.
"It's of no consequence: she'll be most probably executed anyway," pointed the monarch.
"If I may, Exalted One," pleaded J'onn. The ruler nodded.
"Executing this prisoner leave us with nothing to gain and gives our enemy an excuse for retaliation, not that he needs one, but still. Besides, imprisonment is a ticking bomb with this one. She's too seductive to leave her under the custody of any guard, male or female, or too dangerous. You would need at least half of your forces to secure her, and, even though she deserves jail, she's not worth the expense."
"Then, what are you suggesting J'onn?"Maxima asked.
"An exchange of prisoners. It is my understanding that, for some twisted reason, the Dark Lord values the life of this waste of living energy. Lightray, a worthy hero from New Genesis, has been in Darkseid's dungeons for a year now and Highfather was looking for a way to set him free, let's give him that way and Almerac will make another ally against Apokolips, a very powerful one," proposed the Manhunter.
"Brilliant! A master move! This is going to take careful planning and precision, so please J'onn J'onnz, I'm requesting your presence in my chambers. Have dinner with me and we can discuss how are we going to proceed."
"Excuse me, Exalted One," said the Commander of the Royal Guard. "Shouldn't I be present as well?"
"Good point, Commander, but We'll be perfectly safe with one of the persons who brought this criminal before Us. You are dismissed for the rest of the evening. I'm sure the Green Lantern and our pretty sorcerer here will gladly assist you in securing the prisoner for the night," she said.
"But Kloss is still up in the sky, Exalted One. Dusk is two hours away and…," began the soldier.
"We've spoken." With these final words, the Queen got up from her throne and told J'onn to follow her to her chambers. When they were outside the Throne Hall, Maxima grabbed the Martian's arm.
"I'm so proud! I'm so hot for you right now I thought I was going to wet the Throne's seat!"
"You look very beautiful. I really was looking forward to see you, my Queen." J'onn said.
"And see me you will, my Emerald Beast, and then some…" she added seductively.
"I'm out of practice when it comes to express my feelings with words, but right now I'm dying to sink my teeth in your creamy skin, you Alabaster Goddess." The ruler tightened her embrace, not noticing J'onn's burnt arm until he flinched.
"How did this happen to you? That filthy wench, I'll pull out her eyes from their sockets with a spoon for this!" she snapped.
"Forget it. It's nothing. All my aches of the day disappeared the moment I saw you, "he whispered.
"For someone who's out of practice, you are doing pretty well with words. I'll take care of your arm personally."
"I'm feeling better already, doctor," he joked.
"The treatment could be a little painful, though."
"Promises, promises…" Both burst in a joyful, careless laughter and so they entered the Royal Chambers.
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Zatanna and John Stewart could hardly contain their astonishment when they saw both the Queen and the Martian getting out of the Hall in the late afternoon towards the Royal Chambers.
Zee, closing GL's dropping jaw, said "I know a lot about theatrical exits, and I think this one qualifies, believe me."
"Those two are gonna be all over one another before they reach her quarters, mark my words. I don't know who that big green guy was, but he's not the one I fought alongside with an hour ago." Stewart was scratching his head.
"That slut wasn't wearing any underwear," dropped the Magician.
"What…How did you…?" he babbled. "You have X-ray vision too, now?"
"A girl knows these things. With that dress? White? Impossible! It shows through."
"Damn! Now you made it impossible for me not to wonder whether or not she's wearing some every time I see he...Ouch!" John got his arm punched by Zatanna.
"You're not going to be thinking of women's undies, capisce?" Her Italian heritage usually showed when she was making a serious warning.
The Commander of the Guard took them to the underground detention cells of the Royal Palace. Lashina, still confined, was floating in front of them.
"Should we keep her like this all the time?" asked the Commander.
"It would be wise, but unfortunately, there are laws against mistreatment, even for people like her," reminded John.
"Just a few more minutes. Aremac!" A big, professional camera appeared in Zee's hands and she began to shoot the Fury from every possible angle. "I'm gonna break the Hypernet with these images! C'mon, honey. Change your expressions from shot to shot. You're ruining the ambience!" From the look in her eyes, Lashina was probably trying to shout something terrible at them.
Stewart's concerns were more practical. "How secure are these cells, Commander?"
"This particular one was built with your Kryptonian colleague in mind. The Queen was going through a very special mood swing back then… which is none of my business, of course. She tested it herself. I'd say it'll hold," he stated.
"I'm casting a secluding spell, anyway. It will make her appear in the center of the cell every time she touches any outer wall or the ceiling," intervened the Sorceress after finishing her photo session. "It's very effective and, most importantly, it would probably piss her off to no end," she added maliciously.
"Then I will extend a forcefield all over the floor's surface. Without her weapons she won't be able to break through it," added GL.
And so they did.
"Then it's settled 'Retcel raeg ffo! Gnirb eht egnaro!'" An orange penitentiary jumpsuit covered the prisoner "A nice touch of home!" Zatanna wiped her hands.
"You're an incorrigibly sentimental, Zee," Lantern joked.
Lashina began her ordeal with the outer walls; every time she reappeared in the center of the cell she screamed in anger, which nobody could hear through the sound proof walls of the cell.
"Well. I think our job here is done, Commander. You know where to find us in case of trouble." Stewart made an energy sphere, but this time he went in with the Magician.
Before they start floating towards their quarters, he said to her, "Only yours…"
"Only mine what?" Zee was taken by surprise.
"Your undies, not other women's. I'm allowed to fantasize about yours, am I not?" he asked.
"You perv…Play tour cards well and we will see. You… will see," she teased.
Stewart took her by her waist "Card tricks are your thing. Do you think you can teach me some?"
"Mmmm…you're getting very good at shuffling. I have all my brain cells scrambled right now." She reached up and kissed him. This time they took their time to enjoy it.
With the last vestige of brain activity, John said, "We should be going to the Javelin and contact the Watchtower to share the news…"
"Aaww…Can we do that tomorrow?" she pouted like a child. "I'm too tired. Even 'Mr. Responsibility J'onnz' took the afternoon off. I bet he won't be coming ton…" she paused. "He WON'T be coming tonight!"
John and Zee shouted at the same time, "WE HAVE THE ROOM ALL FOR OURSELVES!"