Chapter 26

Omake 1 :

"Get my phone and contact Grim." Fury said to Coulson.

"Uh sir..." Coulson replied.

"Which one is Grim?" He asked while looking through his contacts, all of which were the exact same besides the numbers attached to the end.

"Motherfucker number 1." Fury replied.

"Thank you.

Omake 2 :

"Pick a pet." Harry said as he took Bucky to the Pet shop.

"So I can chose anyone?" Bucky asked.

"Yeah." Harry asked right before a puppy charged head first into the cage bars.

"I'm picking that one and I'm calling it Steve."

Omake 3 :

Natasha looks at Harry who had been listening to Groot say 'I am Groot' for the last half hour. Once Groot goes she approaches him.

"What did he say?" She asked.

"I have no idea, I just guessed when to nod and shake my head, I think it worked out." Harry replied.

"Hey," Rocket said as he walked up to him. "Groot told me that you agreed to help him wash his acorns and help him score with the oak tree at the park, thanks man, it saves me a lot of time." Rocket laughed as he walked away.

"...F**K!"

Chapter 27

Omake 1 :

"Hello?" Harry asked as he answered phone.

"Oh sorry," Fury apologized. "I selected the wrong motherfucker." Fury said before ending the call.

"The fuck?!"

Omake 2 :

"Hey Harry." Tony said.

"Yeah?" Harry asked.

"You can just use your magic to make anything you want change shape, is that right?" Tony asked.

"Yeah, why do you ask?" Harry raised an eyebrow.

Ten minutes later and after a lot of convincing Harry found himself with his wand aimed at Tony's crotch.

"Just do it!" Tony yelled right as Pepper walked into the room.

"Tony?" Pepper blinked

"Pepper!" Tony gasped.

"I can explain!"

"Not without sounding like a dumbass." Harry commented.

Omake 3 :

"Can someone toss me my will to live?" Tony groaned.

"If you want." Harry shrugged before he yeeted Pepper at Tony.

"I didn't mean do that!"

"Oh, you wanted the other one?" Harry asked as he raised Peter over his shoulders.

Omake 4 :

"You know that carrots are good for your eyesight." Steve said.

"Really?" Natasha asked.

"Yeah."

"Okay, by the way, look behind you." She said, Steve looked behind only to jump back when he saw Harry with a carrot shoved into each eye.

"You lied." Harry said in a disappointed voice.

Omake 5:

"Take this!" Thanos yelled before chopping off Harry's arm, Harry screamed in pain. "There, now stand aside worth adversary."

"Tis but a scratch." Harry replied, glad for the healing factor.

"A scratch?! You're arm's off."

"No it isn't."

"Well what's that then?" Thanos demanded as he gestured to where Harry's arm was supposed to be only to blink when he saw it was reattached to his body.

"Don't know what you're talking about." Harry shrugged.

"You liar!"

Omake 6:

"Where the hell is he?" Tony hissed under his breath, he was currently back in time with Harry, trying to get the infinity stones so they could bring them back to the future. Tony jumped slightly when he heard a noise from a closet, he opened it to find Harry naked with a woman. "Damn it Harry, I..." Tony paused as he noticed the other person in the closest.

"Oh...hi Tony..." Harry said as he rubbed the back of his head.

"Harry..."

"Yeah..."

"What...the hell...are you doing a closest with my mother?!" Tony demanded.

"Um...making you I think...you're welcome."

Chapter 28

Omake 1:

"Whoever says that Disney land is the happiest place on Earth hasn't been in Harry's arms." Natasha replied.

"None of us have been in Harry's arms." Barton replied.

"The man is terrifying." Steve responded.

"Indeed." Thor agreed.

"One time I accidentally brushed against him and he turned my arms into a legs and I had to use feet for my hands." Tony said.

"How did that go?" Natasha asked.

"Well I was able to solve world hunger thanks to an idea I got from it so it was simultaneously the best and worst feat of my life."

Omake 2:

"What's happening?" Steve asked when he saw Bucky and Harry counting on their fingers.

"They got asked how old they were." Natasha explained.

"I just want to know your age." The shop keeper replied in an tired tone.

"We know!" Bucky shouted.

"Yeah shut the hell up!" Harry shouted. "Damn it! I lost count!"

"Oh fuck me too, go from the start?"

"Might as well." Harry sighed.

Omake 3:

"Where the fuck is my wand?!" Harry shouted as he looked around the room.

"Harry, please don't swear in front of my daughter." Tony said.

"But I lost my fucking wand."

"Yes but can you ask nicely, please?"

"Fine, may I please know the exact location of my fucking wand? Please motherfucker! Where the fuck is it?"

"Fuck." Morgan repeated with a grin.

"God damn it." Tony sighed.

"Fuck." Morgan giggled.

"What?!" Pepper blurted out as she stepped into the room with Harry's wand.

"Oh hey my wand." Harry said as he plucked it from her hands. "By the way, Tony's been swearing in front of your daughter." Harry said before quickly leaving the room.

Omake 4:

"Goddamn it." Tony sighed, "Thor will you please lift Mjolnir off the seat?"

"What are you talking about?" Natasha asked.

"Thor placed Mjolnir on the toilet seat as a prank." Harry explained just as Thor grinned before drinking juice from a glass cup.

"Yes and now none of us can go to the toilet." Barton said as he shifted in his seat along with the other Avengers apart from Harry.

"You look alright." Natasha commented to Harry.

"That's because I peed somewhere else." Harry responded.

"Where?"

"Right in Thor's glass." Harry answered.

"What?!" Thor blurted out as he spat out the drink.

"If you're going to prank the king then you had better kill the king."

Omake 5 :

"Hey Harry," Natasha said.

"What?" Harry asked.

"If Red skull joined the fire department then what would he say?" She asked.

"Probably 'what the fuck happened to my life that I am now working at a fire department?', either that or he'd ask about their dental plan."

"He'd say 'hail hydrant'." Natasha grinned. "Get it? Like hail Hydra but hydrant, hail Hydrant. Wait come back! I've got more jokes!"

"That's why I am leaving!"

Chapter 29

Omake 1:

"Daddy," Morgan Stark said. "I lost a tooth today, I'm going to put it under my pillow for the tooth fairy."

"That's wonderful sweetie." Stark replied.

Later.

"Okay," Harry whispered to Morgan. " that was great acting, I convinced your dad to put more than just a few coins, expect like a hundred dollars or something, so later on your dad will come into your room when you're asleep, he'll hide the money under your pillow. Then you and me split it fifty-fifty."

"I want more than that." Morgan replied.

"What do you mean more? It was my idea."

"But it's my tooth and my pillow and my dad." She argued.

"Fine, you get sixty percent and I'll get forty."

"I want more." She pouted.

"Fine, seventy for you and thirty for me, ask for any more than that and I'll stop letting Padfoot play with you."

"You wouldn't!" Morgan gasped.

"No I wouldn't, that's too evil even for me, but you see how serious I am. So deal?"

"Deal." Morgan grinned and shook his hand.

Omake 2 :

"What's a woman without her male partner?" Tony asked.

"Lesbian?" Clint guessed.

"Someone who needs doesn't need to waste money on headache pills." Pepper replied.

"Fine, then what's Juliet without Romeo?" Steve asked.

"Unimportant." Harry replied just as Natasha said "Alive."

Omake 3:

"Quick question," Harry said to Steve. "when you woke up from being frozen, did you do something to your hair?"

"No, why do you ask?" Steve frowned.

"Because it was perfectly styled." Harry replied. "Someone had to have styled your hair."

"Yeah but...hold on...Coulson said he watched me when I was asleep!"

"You might want to check your pubes." Harry advised.

Omake 4:

"What is your biggest weakness?" He asked Harry.

"I can be uncooperative." Harry replied. "Like to the extreme."

"Give me an example."

"No."

Omake 5:

"You don't think I can fight because I'm a girl!" Natasha said in an accusing voice.

"No," Harry shook his head. "I don't think you can fight because one of your legs is in a cast and you are wearing a wedding dress. For what it's worth I don't think Loki can fight in that dress."

"Perhaps not, but I'd make a rather radiant bride." Loki replied.

Omake 6:

"Who is your favorite superhero?" Tony asked Morgan.

"Grim!" She said happily as she clapped her hands. Pepper quietly laughs from her seat on the sofa.

"Fine, but you still love me right?" Tony asked Morgan.

"Yeah, I love you three thousand." She smiled.

"Hi guys," Harry said as he entered the room.

"Grim!" Morgan cried happily as she ran into his arms and he picked her up.

"Hey sweetie, missed you." Harry said.

"Missed you too," Morgan smiled. "I love you three thousand and one." She said.

"Thank you." Harry smiled, not noticing Tony collapsing from a broken heart.

Chapter 30

Omake 1 (made by Devildestroyer) :

Tony: Why does my daughter has green eyes? And why are you naming her Morgan, pepper?

Pepper: Um... you see...

Harry: Because Morgan was a witch's name, and so is Pepper's daughter

TOny: But we don't have magic and you said it can only be transferred... son of a b***.

Harry kissed his daughter and disapparated while Tony fainted due to 'performance issues'

Omake 2 :

"Do you think we should help him?" Clint asked Harry.

"Of course not, this isn't just about winning this fight." Harry replied. "This is about his pride, about the safety of the universe, he will see this fight through to the end even if it kills him."

"Help me! For the love of god help me!" Steve cried as Thanos dropped an elbow on his back.

"Like a hero."

Omake 3:

"Why don't girls look at me anymore?" Harry asked Tony, "i mean before they use to talk to me a lot but now they get all scared."

"Oh hi," One girl says as she comes up to Harry. "you're really cute, I was wondering if..." Pauses when she sees Natasha a short distance behind Harry with a gun in her hand a 'back off bitch' sign in her other hand. "never mind" she squeaks before running.

"Ya see?" Harry says to Tony.

Omake 4:

"You...you should have gone for the head." Thanos grinned, he was about to snap his fingers when he suddenly realized he couldn't feel his body. "Why can't I feel my everything?" He asks before his eyes see his headless body fall next to him. "oh." He said with realization.

"Thanks for the advice." Harry nodded to him.

Omake 5:

Harry runs into a room in a panic and slams the door shut, everyone looks at him.

"Harry?" Tony asked. "You alright?"

"Nobody died!" Harry responded quickly.

"Fair enough." Natasha and Clint shrugged before going back to their reading.

"What kind of answer is that?!" Steve blurted out.