Chapter 31 :
Omake 1:
"Hey, do you think I can fit an entire packet of these sweets in my mouth?" Thor asked.
"You're a hazard to society and an idiot." Loki replied.
"And a coward, go for two packets." Harry added.
Omake 2 :
At Loki's funeral Harry sneaks up to the coffin after everybody has left the room.
"Alright you little shit, get the fuck out, I know you're still alive." Harry said as he slaps the coffin.
"What?!" Loki bursts out. "How?!"
"Because I already experienced this trick one time with a red headed idiot named Fred and his prick of a twin. Now get the fuck before I set you on fire."
Omake 3 :
"Damn you!" Harry roared as he continued to punch an unconscious bad guy.
"Wow, what did he do?" Tony asked, slightly scared by Harry.
"He ruined the tea." Clint whispered.
"I'm sorry, can you repeat that?" Steve blinked.
"He ruined the tea." Natasha shrugged.
"But I thought Harry doesn't even like tea." Thor frowned.
"Oh I don't," Harry said as he paused. "but I'm British so..." Harry shrugged before going back to punching.
"Makes perfect sense to me." Jarvis commented.
Omake 4:
"Hey Harry," Tony called. "meet my new business partner, his name is John."
"Oh hi, I..." Harry turns only to find a man who looks like Vernon Dursley.
"Harry?" Tony asked. "Are you alright? You're looking a little...Harry no! Harry no! Put the chainsaw down!"
Omake 5:
"Oh there are no fries left," Pepper frowned as she sat with all the male Avengers apart from Harry who was sat in a corner of the room. "I'll just take one from Harry's pile, I'm sure he won't mind."
"No!" All the other Avengers hissed.
"Why not?" Pepper frowned.
"The last time somebody tried to take some of Harry's food they ended up hanging upside down as a frog." Tony whispered.
"That story is true and that person is him." Steve added as he gestured to Tony.
"Oh hey guys," Natasha said as she walks in, she walks past the group and walks over to Harry. The group gasp when they saw her take one of his fries. "thanks sweetie." She smiles and kisses his cheek before walking off. Harry mutters under his breath before he continues eating while the group stare with disbelief.
"Oh it must be safe now." Thor smiled before walking over to Harry.
"Should we stop him?" Clint whispered to Tony just before Thor flew over their heads and crashed into a wall.
"Too late." Tony sighed.
Chapter 32
Omake 1:
"Aren't you a little too young to be an Avenger?" Steve asked.
"Aren't you too old to be alive?" Morgan Stark replied, a dead silence rings throughout the room as everyone gapes at Morgan, except for Harry who quickly slides next to her and hands her five dollars and a chocolate bar before turning to the others.
"I call dibs on training this one." Harry said.
Omake 2:
"Where are the drugs?" Harry growled.
"Oh look, he's doing his Batman voice." Tony laughed.
"I noticed that too," A third voice said, everyone turns to see Batman drop in and throw a piece of paper at Harry. "I'll see you in court."
Omake 3:
"And that concludes my presentation on why Thor is undoubtedly the hottest Avenger." Peter finished with a grin.
"Peter, this is a meeting on now to beat Thanos." Tony couldn't help but point out.
"Exactly, Thor can distract him with his good looks so Harry can sneak up and stab him."
"How many times do I get to stab him?" Harry asked.
"As many as you like." Peter replied.
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"i like this plan."
Omake 4:
"Harry," Bucky's voice called over the phone. "there's a racoon here. It's...it's standing on two legs...and cleaning a gun...and eating pizza...and watching TV...I'm scared and don't know what to do."
"Try saying 'I am groot' in a deep voice." Harry suggested.
"O...kay, give me a minute." Bucky said, a few moments later his voice is heard again. "...it's now making ice cream for me." Bucky said in a confused but delighted voice.
"You're welcome."
Chapter 33
Omake 1:
"So Tony is in charge of this Peter Parker kid?" Harry asked Natasha.
"That's right." She nodded.
"And we are trusting Tony with the kid?" Harry asked with disbelief.
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"I'll call Pepper."
"You do that." Harry nodded.
Omake 2:
"Yeah...no, we're not having the kid on this team." Harry said to Tony.
"Why not?"
"You're an immature billionaire who will likely spoil the kid in some way or form, Cap will likely turn him into a boy scout, Thor will probably think he's an actual spider, Hulk might sit on him, Barton might shoot him and Natasha walks around in tight clothes and body suits. We'd end up with a spoilt, flat, horny spider boy scout. And nobody wants that Tony.
Omake 3:
Harry is suddenly hugged by Peter.
"The fuck?" Harry asks.
"Language." Steve's voice is heard despite him not even being in the building.
"He read a fanfic where you kill yourself." Tony explained to Harry.
"Oh..." Harry paused, unsure of what to do, he slowly wraps an arm around Peter and hugs him.
Omake 4:
"Favorite TV show?" Clint asked.
"Avatar the Last Air Bender." Harry answered.
"Favorite character?" Tony asked.
"I can go for either Aang or Zuko, don't make me chose."
"Have you seen the film version of it?" Tony asked. "I haven't yet."
"No, haven't seen it, though I've heard a lot of people say it's shit." Harry replied.
"Well let's give it a shot, it might not be that bad." Clint said.
"Fine." Harry says before putting the movie on. after an hour and 43 minutes Clint and Tony run out of the room as Harry screams with pure rage.
Chapter 34
Omake 1:
"Um...why is Harry upset?" Steve asked while Harry was punching a punching bag that had a mask drawn on it.
"He went to a 'Grim' costume contest and lost." Natasha explained.
"Who beat him?"
"Some guy called Deadpool." Tony answered just before Nick Fury choked on his tea.
Omake 2:
"I'm recruiting this guy called Spiderman." Tony said. "He's super strong and sticky and shoots webs."
"From where?" Harry asks.
"I need to make a suit for him." Tony says to himself, ignoring Harry and walking off.
"Tony! From where?!"
Omake 3:
"Alright now just decide on your password." Harry says as he helps Bucky out with a computer.
"There," Bucky said after picking a password. "my password is now 'incorrect'."
"Why?" Harry raises an eyebrow.
"So if I forget my password then it will tell me." Bucky smiled. Harry just sits there, staring at Bucky with a stunned look, unable to speak since he was speechless due to all of his words being sucked out of his head by the sheer magnetism of Bucky's genius.
Omake 4:
"Okay, so what's happening?" Harry frowned.
"Well Loki's a good guy now," Thor explained. "so we're no longer enemies and nobody needs to attack him."
"I'm sorry, no, you can't just erase everything he's done because someone suddenly say's he is good." Steve objects.
Bucky, without hesitation, face palms hard with his metal hand just as Tony shrugs and aims an arm cannon at him.
Chapter 35
Omake 1:
"I am the Master of Death." Harry said.
"You've...mastered my daughter?!" Odin demanded.
"Here's your tea." Hela said to Harry as she comes into the room while wearing a maid outfit.
"Thanks," Harry said as he took the tea from her, he then looked at Odin and grinned. "as to your question...yes."
Omake 2:
Bucky walks into a room to find all the Avengers looking at Harry and Tony who are laughing their asses off while Steve is banging his head against a wall.
"Um...what's going on?" Bucky asked.
"Steve had made some education videos for schools, Tony was able to get his hands on them." Bruce explained.
"Are they embarrassing and/or funny?" Bucky asked.
"Indubitably." Natasha nodded.
An hour later Fury walks into the room to find Tony and Harry laughing while Bucky is hysterically laughing so much that he is on the floor while Steve is hitting himself on the head with his shield.
Omake 3:
"Okay but why do I have to be the one to give her the talk?" Harry complained.
"Because she trusts you and Tony doesn't want to do it." Pepper replied while Tony nodded.
"Fine," Harry said through gritted teeth before going over to Morgan and sitting next to her. "Morgan, you know how you're a big girl and you're growing up."
"Yeah?" Morgan replied.
"You know how older people like to do 'certain things'?"
"You mean sex?"
"Yes, not going to bother asking how you know that. I just came here to say don't have sex, or you will get pregnant and die!" Harry nodded to himself before standing up and walking over to Tony and Pepper. "Done." He said as he walked past them.
Omake 4 :
"What's wrong with her?" Harry asks when he sees Morgan sniffing.
"Someone was bullying her." Bruce answered as he rubbed her back.
"Right, probably time to start teaching her how to use a knife then." Bucky suggested.
"I'll get the guns." Natasha added.
"I'll get my bow and arrow." Clint said.
"Guy's no!" Pepper shouted. "We're not teaching my child to use guns, and knives and bows."
"Pepper's right," Harry agreed.
"Thank you, I..."
"We'll start with hand to hand combat first." Harry said to the group who all nodded in agreement.
"Harry..." Pepper said.
"Yeah?"
"Why do I let you near my child?"
Chapter 36 -
Omake 1:
Odin walked towards Harry's room, he didn't care who the guy was but he was not going to allow anyone to be the master of his daughter. He opened the door and walked in.
"Listen Potter I..." Odin froze when he saw Harry sitting on a chair with Hela kneeling next to him while wearing a collar and dog ears but nothing else. "...am having a heart attack." Odin finished before he fell to the floor.
Omake 2:
"I can't believe him." Tony growled.
"What's up?" Rhodey asked.
"Harry's messed with my suit," Tony explained. "I tried hacking into some speakers to play some AC/DC when suddenly my little Pony starts playing."
"That sounds rough." Rhodey commented before flying upwards, only to stop when the theme song for Dora the explorer started playing from his suit.
Omake 3 (got the idea from Devildestroyer) :
"Guys this is my boyfriend," Morgan said, introducing her boyfriend to Harry, Steve, Padfoot and Bucky. "I am going to get my handbag and we are going for a date." She smiled before walking out.
"Um Hi." The boyfriend said awkwardly, only to jump back slightly when Padfoot growls.
"What's your name you little dog shit?" Harry asked.
"Um...it's Reggie."
"Your hands had better stay at a respectable distance." Steve said as he crossed his arms.
"You will not make her upset, otherwise my finger may slip on the trigger" Bucky says as he loads his gun.
"Because if you don't treat her like a princess tonight," Harry says as he twirls his wand. "I will rip your cock off."
"Hi guys." Morgan says as she comes back in five minutes later, to find Padfoot and Steve smiling at her while Bucky and Harry are innocently wiping some dust off the shoulder's off Reggie who is frozen solid with fear.
Chapter 37 -
Omake 1:
"This is John, my new business partner." Tony said as he introduces John to the Avengers who were all sitting down, apart from Harry who was standing in the kitchen.
"We're about to watch a movie," Clint said. "anyone decided on what they want to watch?" Clint asked.
"How about Dragonball evolution?" John asked, everyone turned and looked at him. "What? It's my favorite."
"Oh fuck." Tony said under his breath before taking a step back.
"I'm sorry but what is..." John found himself interrupted as Harry jumped over the kitchen counter and tackled him.
Omake 2:
"Rabbit season." Morgan said.
"Duck season." Harry replied.
"Rabbit season." Morgan said.
"Duck season." Harry replied.
"Rabbit season." Morgan said.
"Duck season." Harry replied.
"Rabbit season." Morgan said.
"Duck season." Harry replied.
"What is going on?" Steve whispered to Bucky.
"I don't know, they've been doing this for the last hour and I'm starting to get scared." Bucky admitted.
"Rabbit season." Morgan said.
"Duck season." Harry replied.
"Rabbit season." Morgan said.
"Duck season." Harry replied.
"Would you two idiots keep it down?!" Rocket shouted, "jeez!" He shook his head before walking off. Harry and Morgan looked at him as he walked away before turning to each other.
"Rabbit season." They said at the same time before Harry pulled out his wand and Morgan pulled out her mini blaster and the two chased after Rocket.
Omake 3:
"I can't," Peter said, "I've got a meeting for a Stark internship."
"Yeah right," Flash snorted. "you've got a meeting for a Stark internship? Ha. Guess what I've got a date with black widow." He added while rolling his eyes, only to stop when he felt a hand grab his shoulder.
"Is that right?" Grim asked.
Omake 4:
"What are you doing?" Steve asks Sif and Natasha who are both casually drinking from smoothies while watching Harry utterly destroy a group of aliens.
"just enjoying the view." Sif answered.
"Is there a word for when you're frightened and horny at the same time?" Natasha wondered.
Chapter 38 -
Omake 1 (Idea from Hoodedgenius98) :
"Um...what is going on?" Harry asks as a bunch of women corner him, including Natasha, Sif, Gwen, Hela, Hill, Valkyrie and many others.
"We need to know Harry, who do you like the best?" Natasha asked.
"Yes, we need an answer." Sif nodded in agreement.
"Oh..." Harry gulped. "I..."
"Ow." Morgan says as she walks in and falls over.
"Oh Morgan!" Harry says quickly rushes over to her. "Let's get you some help." He says before carrying her out and away from all the woman. "Thanks for the save." Harry said as he handed her a fiver once they were far enough away.
"You're welcome." Morgan grinned.
Omake 2:
"Did your parents read the note I gave you?" Morgan's teacher asked.
"My mum and dad aren't home but my uncles have read it." Morgan replied.
"And what did they say?" Morgan's teacher asked.
"My Uncle Harry told me to tell you...'to mind you damn motherfucking business bitch! Stupid bitch!'" Morgan said, the teacher gasped but Morgan was not done. "He also said 'little dumb teaching bitch, two plus two not knowing what the fuck it is bitch'. Cross eyes little..." Morgan continued swearing and cursing for several minutes before stopping. "...'dumbass woman.'" She finished, the teacher and whole class were gaping at her. "Then my Uncle Steve said 'I'm really sorry, I tried my best to stop him'."
Omake 3:
"I'm scared of spiders." Morgan said, Harry looks up and sees Peter enter the room.
"Give us a minute." He says as he raises his wand while Clint picks up a broom.
Omake 4 (someone suggested this a while ago but I can't remember who, sorry):
"So Frigga," Harry grinned at a blushing Frigga. "what about...ow hey!" Harry protested when Thor suddenly began attacking him with a rolled up newspaper. "What the hell?!"
"You've slept with Sif, the Black Widow, Spider Woman, Spiderman's aunt, Maria Hill, my sister, most of the female Shield agents and all of the good looking single Asgardian woman but I draw the line at my mother!" Thor said as he continued to attack Harry with the newspaper.
Omake 5:
"Morgan said a bad word in school today." Pepper said.
"Shit!" Bucky exclaimed.
"Goddamn it all to hell! You've got to be shitting me, little Morgan? Merlin's bloody shriveled ball sack! Who the fuck's been teaching our little princess how to swear?" Harry asked. "Where on God's fucking green fucking Earth would she fucking learn that shit? I mean for fuck sakes, she is too young to swear."
"You know what...I blame the fucking internet." Bucky responded.
"The fucking Internet!" Harry agreed, slapping his hand on a table.
"Oh for fuck sakes." Pepper said under her breath, though not quiet enough because Harry and Bucky heard her. They turned to her, gasping as they pointed their fingers at her.
"It was you!" They said at the same time.
Chapter 39
Omake 1 :
"I'm driving." Steve says as he and Tony walk towards the car with Harry following behind them.
"Shotgun." Harry said.
"But you had it on the way here." Tony reminded him as he and Steve turned around, only to jump back when they saw what was in Harry's hands.
"No, I found this shotgun. And I want the front seat." Harry added when he pointed the gun at Tony.
Omake 2:
"Guys, this is Morgan Stark." Tony smiled as he introduces everyone to baby Morgan, everyone says hello to her until Harry walks up to her. He bends down so he can look at her properly, she let's out a small laugh before reaching up and grabbing his nose. "Isn't that adorable?" Tony laughed.
"Yes." Harry answers once Morgan releases him, he takes Morgan out of Tony's hands and walks away.
"Harry? Harry? Harry, give me back Morgan."
"No, mine now."
Omake 3:
Morgan was currently sat in the headmaster's office, the headmaster was in front of her and on her right was the girl that bullied her and that girls mother.
"Right, this meeting will start as soon as one of Morgan's parents or guardians arrive." The headmaster said, he would have said more but found himself interrupted when the door got knocked down. Everyone jumped in their seats and watched as Harry entered in his grim outfit, a glowing wand in one hand a big ass sword in the other.
"Alright, what's this about someone bullying Morgan?" Harry asks as he twirls his wand while Morgan grinned.
Omake 4:
"I've going to kill you!" Harry yells as he charges forward only to get backhanded a long distance away, he recovers quickly and charges again, only for the same thing to happen. This continued for several minutes.
"Daughter of a bitch! I've got you this time!" Harry says only to be thrown back again.
"He's quite persistent." Hela commented after sending Harry flying away again.
"You have no idea." Loki replied.
Chapter 40
Omake 1:
"What are you doing?" Loki asks after Harry poke him in the arm for like the tenth time in the last half an hour.
"Just making sure you're still real." Harry replied.
"Well I am and stop that." Loki responded.
"Fine." Harry said before pausing, he looked at Loki and tapped his forehead.
"Potter, I swear to me..."
Omake 2:
"Alright Loki," Harry said as all the other Avengers stand behind him. "we're all for letting you be a good guy but you still did bad things and therefore you need to be punished. We can't throw you in jail and Thor has ruled out killing so I'm giving you a choice. Either I torture you for a day or you have to watch one of these, twice in a row." Harry said just as Natasha held up a disk case for Dragonball evolution while Clint held up one for the Avatar the last airbender movie.
"I just have to watch one of those?" Loki snorted at how easy this would be, it's just a film, he knew what those were. "I'll take...that one." Loki pointed to Dragonball evolution.
"You chose...poorly." Tony said from the side.
Omake 3:
"Look at all of these women, lining up to for a chance to work as Tony's secretary." Pepper shook her head as she and Harry walked past a line of women.
"Yeah," Harry nodded. "I..." Harry paused when he saw one woman who looked a lot like his aunt petunia.
"Harry?" Pepper asked. "Harry, what are you...Harry! Harry! Put that down! Harry where did you even get a bazooka?! Harry I...oh crap!"
Omake 4:
Sif walked into a room, only to pause at the sight in front of her. A film was playing on a television while the Hulk and Thor were holding Loki down to a seat while Harry was forcing his eyes open.
"No! Make it stop!" Loki screamed in a pained voice.
"Brother, it's this or torture!"
"Give me torture!" Loki said without hesitation.
"Too late, you've got to see this through." Harry said. "Next time don't be an asshole and try to take over the world."
Omake 5:
"So, what you've done is come home with a second girlfriend who happens to be a beautiful Asgardian?" Tony asked.
"Pretty much, yeah." Harry nodded.
"Hmm, Pepper, can I..."
"No Tony, you can't." Came Pepper's bored voice.
"Damn it."
Chapter 41
Omake 1 (idea from Hoodedgenius98):
"Oh master..." A voice purred.
"Huh?" Harry opened his eyes only to jump back when he saw Dobby looking at him. "Dobby?! I thought you... I killed you! I buried you and made sure you wouldn't come back!"
'oh great master harry potter sir you can't get rid of me!" Dobby grinned.
Omake 2 (idea from DZ2):
"In you go." Harry said before he shoves Loki into a portal. Everyone follows after him.
"Where is he gone?" Harry frowned when he couldn't see Loki, only for Loki to drop out of the sky and land in front of them.
"I have been falling...for thirty minutes!" Loki yelled.
"Hmm, didn't feel like thirty minutes."
Omake 3 :
"This is groot," Star Lord said as he began introducing the rest of his team. "the furball is called Rocket. That's Mantis, he's Drax, I'm Peter Quill but you can call me Star Lord. And this is my lovely girlfriend Gamora..." Peter freezes when he can no longer see Gamora standing next to him. "...gamora?"
"Uh...Quill..." Rocket pointed, Peter followed the direction he was pointing at and saw Harry carrying Gamora away, holding her bridal style.
"Hey!" Peter shouted.
"Dibs." Was all Harry said before he continued walking.
Omake 4:
"I think we can make a great couple." Hela smirked.
"Let's ask the judges." Harry said, they turned to Sif and Natasha who were both sitting behind a table, they two looked at each other and after some intense whispering turned to Harry and Hela, Natasha holds up a paddle with a nine while Sif holds up one with an eight.
"She's in." They said at the same time.
Chapter 42 -
Omake 1:
"Daddy." Hela called.
"Yes?" Odin asked.
"Oh no, I meant him." She said just as Harry walks over and wraps an arm around her waist.
"What?!" Odin's jaw dropped.
"I'm daddy now." Harry grinned.
Omake 2:
"Damn it." Tony sighs when he gets pulled over by a police car, he lowers the window as the policemen walk over. "Look, I was only driving a little bit past the speed limit and I...Harry?! Morgan?!" Tony blurted out when he saw Harry and Morgan standing outside his car, both wearing police uniforms and fake mustaches.
"Excuse me sir but my mustache would like a word with you." Harry said in a stern voice.
"Yes," Morgan nodded. "we 'mustache' you a few questions."
Omake 3 ( Got the idea from Blaze1992, he probably didn't intend for it but it happened) :
"Oh crap." Hela said under her breath as she, and the other girls were naked in bed with Harry who had let out a pained cry.
"What happened?!" Sif said in a worried voice.
"I think I might have broke his pelvis," Hela admitted. "I'm sorry, I got too into the roleplay."
"Oh...wow...it's healed." Harry said a second later. "thank god for super healing, so...second round?" Harry offered.
Omake 4:
"Yeah?" Natasha asks as she answers the phone.
"Miss Romanoff," A voice says. "we have your boyfriend and will return him if you meet us at..."
"Hold on," Natasha interrupted. "you have Harry?"
"Um...is that his name?" The voice asked. "We think it's him, he had white hair and green eyes and spent the last minute insulting all of us and our mothers, he's still insulting us. He's moved onto insulting our grandmothers, one of my men is crying now."
"Yeah, that's definitely him. And I must inform you that you very much do not 'have him', he has you."
"What? Look, we just want a ransom in exchange for your boyfriend."
"Tell me how that works out for you." Natasha rolls her eyes and ends the call, half an hour later Harry arrives while Natasha's cooking.
"Hey babe." Harry said as he walks past.
"Hey," She replied absently. "you got blood on your shirt by the way."
Chapter 43
Omakes 1 :
"It's hard to admit but I am in fact a virgin." Steve said.
"If it makes you feel better, my sex life is not so good either." Harry replied.
"What do you mean?" Tony asked.
"I mean just everyday is sex, sex, and more sex." Harry sighed. "I mean if it's not with Nat then it's with Sif and Hela, and if it's not with her then it's with Hill and Gwen and if it's not them then Valkyrie and Frigga."
"Wait what?" Thor blinked.
"She's a widow, Thor." Harry said as if that explained everything. "Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, then Wanda joined in once she was of age, Jane Foster and Darcy too."
"Wait what?" Thor blurted out.
"It was after your break up." Harry replied. "Then since the guardians came on the scene I've got Gamora and Nebula as well."
"Wait what?" Peter Quill blurted out.
"I've also got a few other agents from shield," Harry continued as if he hadn't heard anything. "that Helen Cho woman. Peter parker's aunt too."
"You and Aunt May?!" Peter blurted out as he walked into the room.
"There's just so much of it, it never stops." Harry sighed, he didn't get to say anymore as Sif, Gwen and and Hela waked into the room and carried him out. "Ya see?!" Harry called out before he left the room.
Tony frowned as he looked between Steve and Harry.
"Well guys," Tony began. "what we've witnessed is a starving man..." Tony gestured to Steve. "talking to a drowning man." He added as he gestured to where Harry had left from.
Omake 2 ( from thunderofdeath97) :
"Nat," Steve asked as he and Tony walked up to Natasha who was working at a computer. "what are you doing?"
"Nothing." Natasha said quickly.
"Hold on a sec," Tony said as he looked at a computer. "this is a timetable for who and when Harry has sex, there's also a payment timetable. Have you been pimping Harry out?!"
"No! Yes! Maybe."
"Uh...Tony." Steve coughed and pointed to something on the screen.
"Huh? Why is there $50 next to Pepper's name?!" Tony demanded.
"50?" Natasha blinked. "Oh thanks for that, I nearly got that wrong." Natasha added as she added another zero to it.
Omake 3:
"Hello?" Natasha asks as she answered the phone.
"It's Harry."
"What did he do this time?"
"No, it's Harry that's calling."
"Oh...what did you do this time?"
Chapter 44
Omake 1 :
"Can you help me with my homework?" Morgan asked Harry.
"Hmm? Sure." Harry sat down only to see the most complicated set of equations he had ever seen.
A minute later Tony walked in to find a piece of paper being burnt while Harry was hugging Morgan.
"Shush," Harry whispered. "it won't hurt you anymore."
Omake 2:
"What the hell is this?" Harry asked.
"It's something called 'Bubsy 3D'," Bucky replied. "want to try it with me?" Bucky asked.
"Sure," Harry shrugged. "I heard it got really bad review but I'll try it, what's the worst that can happen?"
Later that day Maria Hill rushed into Fury's office.
"Sir! Potter and Barnes have gone crazy and are destroying everything in sight!" She screamed.
Omake 3:
"What's going on?" Harry asked Natasha who was watching the following event while eating popcorn.
"Steve is trying to explain sex to Morgan." Natasha explained as Harry took a handful.
"And...never before marriage!" Steve added quickly as he spoke to Morgan. "Do you understand?"
"No." Morgan admitted as she shook her head.
"Oi Morgan," Harry called. "slot P into Slot V." He said simply.
"Oh!" Morgan's eyes lit up with realisation.
"Wait it was that easy?!" Steve blurted out.
"Yep," Natasha nodded. "that's two hours of your life that you're not getting back."
Omake 3:
"Thor, you blithering idiot, what are you doing?" Loki asked Thor who was glancing at Harry's who was eating a burger and some fries.
"I really want one of those fries." Thor sighed.
"Then take one."
"From Harry? Are you mad?!" Thor hissed.
"Romanoff and Sif are taking some." Loki pointed out.
"They're about the only ones in this building that can." Thor replied.
"Rubbish, watch me." Loki said as he walked over to Harry.
"No brother! I wouldn't do that if I were..." Thor was cut off when Loki started screaming. "Jarvis." Thor called in a calm voice.
"I've already informed Mr Stark, medical help is on the way." Jarvis replied.
"You're a good bodiless voice Jarvis, you're a good bodiless voice."