A/N: Again, thanks everyone for your comments, favs and follows. I am always eager to hear your thoughts! The plot is slow to develop in this type of story, but I will be doing frequent updates, so hopefully that will help!
Enjoy!
Jo played with the umbrella of her cocktail, as she and Stephanie took a seat at the bar. "So I woke up, and he wasn't even in bed with me, he was in Meredith's bed," she said. She'd been dying to tell this to her friend all day, except they kept missing each other at the hospital. Now at least they could catch up.
"He slept with Meredith?" Stephanie asked, wide eyed.
The thought revolted her. "No, God no... Gross." But then again... She'd heard about how Grey was before she met Shepherd and how she was when they broke up, and Alex was... "Wait. I hope not. That would suck. I can't compete with her. She's got the whole poor me, I'm Widow Grey thing going on..." The cocktail was too sweet for her. Too happy.
"Really? I don't know how anyone can sympathize with her the way she acts around here. She's still Medusa to me."
Which was a valid point, at work. But at home? "She has nightmares sometimes... I get it, seeing the love of your life get shot and dying in your arms is definitely traumatic, but she doesn't get to use it to steal my boyfriend. At least when Yang was here I knew he was safe, now..." Jo shook her head.
"Relax, Karev is totally smitten with you," her best friend reassured. "Remember you guys took so long to actually have sex? Coming from a guy that's huge."
Jo sighed. She was starting to fall for Alex in a huge way, but she was still plagued with insecurity. "Well, if I come home and find them in bed together again- I'll move out. And if Alex still wants me, he'll have to come with me right?"
"Good for you," Stephanie said, jabbing a finger on the table. "Lay down the line."
"Yeah, there are lines."
"Big lines."
"If anyone crosses them-"
Someone ordered tequila, jamming herself between the two residents.
Jo looked up to see Meredith picking up a shot glass and glaring at them. Jo looked at her watch, "Oh, look at the time. I should go."
"There's markers in the den, Wilson," Meredith called after her.
xxx
Callie was excited to see Arizona. After hearing what Owen said about adoption, she decided to consider it. Everyone needs family. "Ready to go?" she greeted Arizona in the attendings lounge.
"Hey!" Arizona smiled as she spun to greet her wife.
Callie returned the smile with her own white flash of teeth. That was what she loved about her wife. She always smiled. Arizona scooped up a handful of papers and bounced them on the table to even them out, before stuffing them in her bag.
"What's that?" Callie asked. Arizona was usually pretty meticulus about paperwork and rarely brought any home with her.
"Oh," she hefted her bag over her shoulder, "um, I'm applying for a fellowship."
"What?" Callie asked, shocked. They'd just been discussing having another kid, now she wanted a fellowship? "Isn't this something we should discuss?"
"Well-" Arizona started, her smile replaced by a look of uncertainty.
Callie shoved down her feelings for a moment. This was how fights started and how people said stuff they didn't mean. She puffed her cheeks and released a breath. They were just starting to mend, no need to go on the dark side yet. "Let's talk about it tomorrow, over breakfast," she said, reaching for her lovers hand. She didn't want to fight today.
Arizona took the proffered hand, "Okay," she said, relieved.
"Oh, and the adoption thing... We'll talk about that too."
xxx
Richard patted the spot beside him, offering Maggie a smile. "How was your first day?"
Maggie shrugged, "Not bad, a little slow for cases today, but you got quite the family here huh?"
"And you're a part of it," Richard replied. He was happy Yang had reccomended her as a replacement. Maggie was young and vibrant and had so much to offer.
"Funny you should say that," Maggie said cryptically. "Can I tell you something? It's kind of personal."
Richard was an open book, and always happy to help his colleagues. "Sure."
Maggie swallowed and looked at Richard with a serious gaze, which worried him.
"I was born in Boston, and adopted by wonderful parents. But I found out last year- that my mother- my birth mother is Ellis Grey."
For a second, Richard didn't even comprehend what Maggie was saying, he nodded and smiled at her. My birth mother is Ellis Grey. But then it hit him and his smile faded as his mind raced back thirty years... "That's," he started. It wasn't possible was it? Boston? Could it be Ellis was pregnant when she left? He looked at Maggie again, taking in her hair, her face, even her bone structure... she looked like...him. Dr. Margret Pierce was his daughter?
"Isn't it weird?" Maggie was saying. "My mother is Ellis Grey. She completed her residency here, at this hospital. And now I'm working here too..." She paused, "Dr. Webber?"
"Uhhh, that's extraordinary." Was all he could think of to say.
"Did you know Ellis? The story about her?"''
Still in shock, Richard fumbled for an out. "Well uh," He glanced at his watch suddenly. "Oh, look at the time- I really, I've got to go." He stood up suddenly, smoothing out his jacket and picked up his briefcase to leave.
"Dr. Webber?" Maggie called after him.
But he couldn't stay, his heart squeezed with shock and devastation. Ellis Grey, the love of his life, had his child. And he never new about it. Thirty years. He missed thirty birthdays and christmases and thanksgivings. He missed grilling her first boyfriend, attending her graduation, everything. He was sorry to leave her on that bench, he wanted to tell her, but first he had to find a meeting.
xxx
Maggie watched Richard leave and squinted. What was up with him? Did he know something? She sighed, she was lonely. Richard was nice though. Most of the people here were nice, if not a little nosy.
Across the street, she saw the sign for Emerald City Bar. She'd heard it was pretty good and that lots of the staff hung out there. It would be good for her to get out, meet some people. Maggie took the chance.
Coming into the bar, she found the homey vibe inviting. A few nurses and orderlies were scattered about the place, enjoying themselves. It was early yet, however, and the bar itself was practically unoccupied.
Maggie parked herself on a bar stool and waited. The bartender immediately came her way, and she ordered a Sprite since it was early for the hard stuff. She also ordered a plate of hot wings to nibble on while she looked for someone to talk to. She glanced around, hoping to find a familiar face. Nope. Nobody. She frowned. She was a chatty person, she chatted. But there was no one here to chat with her.
She sipped her sprite and nodded to the bartender when the wings arrived. Picking up a wing, she glanced sideways and noticed another patron a seat away from her. "Hi," she said, smiling at the woman. A pained grey glare met hers and Maggie turned back to her sprite. Jeez, she was just trying to be nice.
"What's with her?" She asked the bartender.
"Mer? Oh, nothing, just a bad day that is."
"Oh... That's too bad." And she was all alone too. It was rough being alone on a bad day.
'"It's weird though... she's had that same drink for an hour now."
"Really?" Maggie asked, risking a look back at the woman. She took a sip of her sprite and a bite of her wing before turning back to the woman. "Are you okay?" she asked.
"Don't talk to me." Came the biting reply.
Maggie sighed... First Webber and now this. What was going on in this town? She missed her parents. "Can I get these to go?" She asked, checking her watch. It would be 9pm in Boston, not too late to call home.
xxx
The letter was getting blurry. Was it supposed to be this blurry? Lexie squinted before she slammed back another shot of tequila and sucked on a lime to get rid of the taste.
"Are you okay?" Meredith asked from a few stools away.
Lexie wondered if she should tell her. Meredith would be happy for her right? She'd be happy that her little sister was accepted into the fellowship for the most prestigious, most amazing project ever. People would kill to be on this thing.
But she looked at Meredith and she knew she couldn't tell her. She wasn't drunk enough. "I'm fine," she said instead, slipping the letter into her purse before it attracted questions.
"You're not fine. You say that like me, and I'm not fine."
Of course Lexie wasn't fine. Her boyfriend cheated on her with her co-worker... and she had the most amazing opportunity sitting in her hands that she was so terrified to accept because that meant... she had to leave Seattle, her friends, her life, her sister... Of course she wasn't fine. She was Meredith fine. Meredith fine meant that you weren't fine but you pretended to be to keep people from nosing into your business.
So she was trying. Tequila was a good helper, but she noticed Meredith hadn't even downed a shot yet. Odd.
"He loves you," Meredith was saying... "Are you going to talk to him?"
Lexie shook her head, "He doesn't love me... because you don't hurt people you love. Everybody says he loves me and cares about me and crap. And they say that having sex with Mark doesn't mean anything... Well it means something to me!" The glass rattled when she pounded her fist on the counter.
"And it should. Mark screwed up. I wanted to punch him in the face too, but..."
Lexie knew where this was going... "But what Mer? Life is short?" The alcohol was really starting to kick in now. "Are you on his side... or mine?"
"I..." Meredith stammered.
"Nevermind. I get it. You lost Derek, the great love of your life, and you can't stand that I'm apparently just throwing this away. Well stop living vicariously through my love life, alright? Go get your own!" Lexie shouted. She rapped the bar with her knuckles, signalling another drink, and after she slammed it back she noticed her sister was gone. "Crap." She muttered.
"Scotch, single malt." A deep voice said.
"Crap." Lexie said again as simultaneously recognized the voice and the arm that propped up the gorgeous body of her boyfriend.'
"Lexie..." Mark said, and she hated his apologetic look. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."
"I can't talk to you, Mark." She had nothing good to say about the situation right now. He'd been there for her. He'd saved her life on that plane by sticking a makeshift needle in her chest. He helped her study for her boards. She encouraged him through his intensive surgery for his broken wrist that nearly cost him his livilihood, and then to use the money from the settlement to start his own practice when it was clear that Jackson was starting to shine on his own. Then there was this. A year ago this wouldn't have bothered her. She told him they'd take it slow because... she wanted to be sure... that she loved him. Loved him more than Alex or George. Loved him more than surgery. She wanted to be sure that she loved him enough to marry him and one day have his children. She wanted to be sure. A month ago she thought she was sure, finally.
Then he slept with Amelia.
There was too much water under the whatever.
"Lexie..." He pleaded again.
"Stop it. You know Meredith told me once that my heart was in my vagina. I finally grow out of that eager to please neediness stage to find myself- and then I find out that your heart lies in my vagina... or is it Amelia's? Or the next girl? I just don't know anymore. So I can't talk to you right now." She sipped the tequila this time, giving herself a moment to catch her breath.
"By the way," Lexie finished her shot, "I got the fellowship, and I'm going to D.C. Don't you dare follow me there."
Mark stared at her, his expression slack-jawed and pained.
Somehow, she noticed the bell over the door jingle and saw Alex come in, no doubt looking for Meredith. Lexie stumbled over to him, "Alex, drive me home."
Alex looked at her, looked at Mark, then scoped out the rest of the bar. "Sure... where's Mer?"
"I think she went home already." Lexie said.
"What?"
"It's okay. She didn't drink, not one shot."
"What?"
"I know... and I think I pissed her off." Lexie said dejectedly. She didn't really mean what she said, "Can you just take me home please? I need to talk to her."
Alex nodded, muttered something unintelligble under his breath and led the way out the door.
xxx
Meredith lay in bed, willing herself to sleep. Please... She wasn't sure what was worse, the not sleeping or the sleeping with the nightmares. Usually she slept okay, it was just this time of the year really, but lately she'd noticed that she often retired to bed a lot earlier than usual, and she'd been avoiding her friends more. Why? She was lonely. And everybody had somebody.
A sad sigh escaped her lips. Her fingers traced the hem of the pink blanket she'd found that day. She wanted her child back. She wanted to go back and rewrite the past. Just a few minutes difference... a red light, a stop at a conveniance store, something.
Four years ago:
Meredith winced as she felt another kick from the pumpkin in her belly. She was eight months pregnant, wasn't it about time the baby slowed down on that? "Ow. Hey, behave for Mama down there okay?" she rubbed soft circles over her abdomen. "I knew I shouldn't have had that poptart for breakfast, now you're hopped up on sugar."
The baby moved in response. Meredith continued chatting to her bump,"I couldn't help it, I was so tired of Muesli. Let's blame Alex okay? He was the one who bought those things," Meredith smiled.
She was on her way to the airport to pick up Carolyn. Normally Mark or Alex would've stepped up to the task, but there'd been a shooting at a local college, and all hands were on deck, except for the enormous pregnant lady on her way to pick up her sort of post-it wedding mother in law. Or in other words, Grandma.
"Crap, there's a detour? Are you kidding me?" A big orange construction sign directed them around. It meant she'd be taking the scenic route. After navigating through the detour, she found herself finally on the right path to the airport. She was nervous. The last time she'd seen Carolyn was at the funeral and the two of them were too devasted with grief to reach out to each other until a month ago. Carolyn insisted on coming to seattle to help Meredith with the baby, and Meredith couldn't refuse.
A glance in the rearview mirror revealed a black sportscar weaving between lanes and speeding. "Jerk." Meredith muttered in a hormone haze, returning her attention to the road ahead.
A few seconds later, that same black car rushed past her. Meredith exhaled nervously. Normally this wouldn't bother her, but being eight months pregnant changed all that. She glanced at the clock on the dash. Twenty minutes and she'd be at the airport.
Her thoughts drifted again to Carolyn. She didn't do moms. She told Carolyn that, but she laughed and said there was nothing to worry about: she raised four daughters, she was an expert on Shepherd DNA, and she could cook and clean. She'd practically be giving Meredith a vacation while she was maternity leave.
It was an offer she couldn't refuse. She just hoped Carolyn would see that she could be a good mom. The pumpkin kicked, and Meredith looked down again, patting her belly. "Grandma will be happy to see you."
A terrible screeching noise caught her attention and Meredith looked up sharply. In front of her, a white SUV skidded out of control and flipped. Meredith twisted the wheel of her Jeep to avoid impact, but it was too late.
A crunch of metal, shattering glass- she was spinning.
Incredible ripping pain through every nerve- and Meredith blacked out.
Meredith blinked back her flashback.Just a few minutes difference and life would be... bearable. Happy, even. Yes Derek would be gone, but there'd be a chatty girl with Mcdreamy hair to remind her to live. Her eyes drifted closed. She wasn't living right now. She was on life support. But she just didn't know how to breathe again.
There was a knock on the door. Meredith rolled on her side, back to the door. She didn't want to talk to anyone, even Alex. The door creaked open slightly, the light from the hallway coming in at the perfect angle to hit her in the eyes if she turned around.
"Meredith?" Lexie asked. "Are you awake?"
A/N: Whew!I know Meredith's story is sad right now... but it will start to get better in a few chapters, you'll see. Please leave your thoughts!