A Place to Hide
Severus paced the kitchen in the cottage rolling his eyes, "Leo, you do not leave that place. Eileen is just a day old and Caryn told you to rest at least a week."
"We need something to eat, Severus. Shops are closed on Sunday and it's Saturday morning. I take the 10 o'clock bus to the village and return two hours later."
"Listen, no matter if the Dark Lord summons me or not, I'll go to Malfoy Manor tonight and Narcissa will help. I know she anticipates something. She always asks about you. I'm also sure she stores Polyjuice Potion."
"Narcissa visited me after Harry hexed Draco," said Leonor reflectively remembering the curious look in the otherwise uppish expression. "I've Polyjuice in the apothecary. There's still too much stuff in Hogsmeade. If I could apparate!" sighed Leonor.
"Don't even think about it," growled Severus annoyed.
"I brought everything here for the birth but forgot about the time after. I was not myself in the last two weeks, couldn't concentrate on a thing. I hate me for being unprepared. Not even the owls are here." Leonor sounded desperate.
"Don't blame yourself," snapped Severus knowing full well that he did his bit increasing the unease.
"I worried about you, heard everything from Potter, your flight, the chase down the Hogwarts grounds. It was so awkward being in the hospital wing looking up potions for Bill Weasley and hear them talking. My head was swimming; shock and grief about the headmaster in every voice when I just felt black despair about you and then all that misunderstanding and hatred. I wanted to say that you work for their side, but they wouldn't have listened, not with Harry in the room. Nobody of the Order of the Phoenix saw Dumbledore's injury. That is so unbelievable. He would have visibly wasted away soon."
"You've been there?" said Severus taken aback.
"I woke up with a gut feel that something was going on. When I passed Rosmerta's I saw the Dark Mark and heard cracks of apparition and then all was quiet. I walked to the hospital wing through the debris of the fight, thought that I could help."
"How's Bill?" asked Severus.
"Better in general at least; the scars will mar his face forever. There's not much to do about it. And Draco?"
"Redeemed in the Dark Lord's eyes but frightened like his father. Narcissa is the backbone of the family."
"Will you become the new headmaster?"
Severus shrugged, tracing his thumb along Leonor's jawline, satisfying Albus' plan still unpredictable.
"Let me think about something to get all the missing things from Hogsmeade first. I'm here and if the ministry is fallen then I can go back in the open. It will not take long. Let's have breakfast now," huffed Severus.
They ate in silence and Leonor retreated morosely to the bedroom, cradling an awake and well-fed Eileen.
Severus spoke first, "I make a round with the broomstick. I must get my head clear. There's no point in arguing the situation, Leonor."
"I'm not arguing. I'm stuck here, Sev."
"You are stressed and exhausted. You slept only hours tonight. Take Eileen and go to bed and let me take care of the rest. Hogsmeade isn't any better those days. It is full of the wrong people."
"Sev," stuttered Leonor. She put Eileen back to baby cot and run towards Severus. "I have an awful fear."
"Leo, I know. Go to sleep, I need you." He couldn't tell that he was afraid too; surviving had never been important — it was now.
Severus covered Leonor up and kissed her goodbye. "I'll be back soon. Promise me to close your eyes, right?"
XXX
Severus walked swiftly along a moonlit lane leaving Malfoy Manor rapidly behind. He wanted to run, but that was too traitorous. Narcissa stood still and disappointed in the bright entrance, but Severus was much too shaken by Charity Burbage's murder. He could neither make small talk to Narcissa nor keep a straight face for much longer. Severus stretched the left hand and passed straight through the metal gate and vanished noiseless.
He landed in the small broadleaf forest near the cottage, but when facing the kissing gate, he was unable to go through. Severus detested himself, empty-handed, no Polyjuice, no food, Charity's voice — the screams exploding his head. The tortured face prayed to safe her and Severus' kept the cover. He had not even thought about reacting; it was out of question without hope of success. And to make matters worse, he sent Potter and the Order of the Phoenix to his doom. Severus made sure that the Death Eaters jeopardized the boy's relocation next Saturday. They were lost, if Mundungus failed to deliver the plan with the decoys. Severus confounded Mundungus successfully but if the other members of the Order followed the suggestion remained unclear. He felt miserable, like the bastard Caryn called him. He had to do at least something meaningful tonight. Keeping the relationship with Leonor a secret had to bring an advantage now! He assumed that the ministry would not control Leonor's house for twenty-four hours, like the Aurors did at Spinner's End.
Severus concentrated and apparated; he landed hard in Leonor's potion kitchen in the apothecary. His shoulder bumped against the table in the darkness. It didn't stop him to swirl round, deactivating the safety spells as quickly as he could. Flint the Phoenix screeched, and Severus spoke to him in a hushed voice calming him down. Then all was quiet. Nothing moved.
Severus peered through the door in the sales room to the street. It was empty, the tavern closed. When he saw and heard nothing for the next minutes, he opened the door and checked the post box. He put a few letters to his inside pocket and checked that the 'Closed for Holidays' sign was still well visible.
Severus lit his wand tip and looked through Leonor's stocks. He collected flasks and ingredients on the table. Then he searched for Leonor's holdall and spoke 'Capacious extremis'. All the stuff fit in the bag now. The Polyjuice was also amongst the numerous flasks. Severus searched the fridge and the pantry. There was nothing fresh, some eggs, certainly enough for tomorrow. Finally, he selected some clothes for Leonor and closed the bag.
He stroked the still young Phoenix and put some water and food to his bowl. Flint was a midget compared to Fawkes, Dumbledore's Phoenix, though his soft feathers shone in a very vivid scarlet-red, brighter than Severus saw it with Fawkes before. The bird lowered his head craving for the human touch after being alone for days.
"Listen, Flint. Leonor won't come here soon. You know where to find her, don't you?" The bird tilted his head. The eyes shone like black beads in the sparse light. A Phoenix followed no address, but his heart. "Find her and the baby," he encouraged urgently. He knew the bird trusted him and that became important now. "Take your time, it is a long way to the coast," said Severus at last, unsure if Flint understood.
Then Severus waited for the owls, the chair became hard after a while. His back ached and bumping the shoulder hadn't made things better. He felt the shirt sticking to the skin from dried blood. It didn't matter; he just hoped the owls came home before the first daylight. And then – two large eagle owls soared through the owl flap. They hooted angrily but calmed when recognizing Severus. The same wrote two little notes and tied them to the owl's legs. "Bring them to Leonor, she's at the house 'Above the Cliffs' in Pembrokeshire."
That must do to show them the way. The sky was already tinted in a deep blue, and he had to get away before the first ray of sunshine. Severus apparated directly from the house to Wales and slipped through the door when the sun sent the first beams of the day to the kitchen in the cottage. He put the cloak over the backrest of a chair and the holdall down. Tiredness overcame him and the wish for a shower to wash everything away. It wasn't that simple — Leonor was already awake and Eileen in her arms.
He merely said, "I'm back."
Leonor studied him, worried, pale. Eileen wailed, sensing the tension.
"Everything you need is in the bag on the table." Severus kept quiet about the owls and Flint, there was no point to promise their arrival yet.
Leonor hushed the little girl rocking her back and forth approaching Severus.
"Your daddy is back," she whispered softly.
Leonor tiptoed to press a kiss to Severus cheek, and he stiffened visibly.
"Take her, she's waiting for you."
Severus wanted to protest but couldn't. He continued rocking Eileen, and she calmed down, sucking on her tiny thumb. It soothed him at least for a blink and brought him back to the better part of his double life.
When Eileen slept in the baby cot and Severus returned to the kitchen, Leonor said, "I'm sorry; I've been unfair yesterday morning. I pitied me, while you, well whatever you had to do tonight. I haven't said sorry before you were summoned."
Leonor had a questioning look on her face but caught herself quickly knowing that most things were confidential. She embraced Severus, whispering 'thank you' in his ear, but he pushed her away not ready and shaking inwardly.
"Charity is dead." The truth shot in the open, Severus' voice harsh and hard. "I did nothing to ease her pain."
Severus unbuttoned his coat and shirt and ripped it of his body as if that would help. He heard Leonor's faint sobs. Then he stared to the sea with a stony expression, shivering slightly, a fallen Albus and Charity floating in the air — the images haunted him and not even the arrival at the safe cottage eased the mourning. He winced when Leonor dabbed the dry blood from his shoulder.
"What is that, a scratch of a beast?", she said benignly.
"Buckbeak defending Potter."
"The wound split open again recently."
"I landed half under the table in your potions kitchen. Didn't see the sharp edge in the darkness."
Leonor put a salve over the slash and massaged the tense muscles on Severus' back. That was good. Leonor asked no details and he was grateful for that.
"Let's take a shower," she said after a while and took his hand to guide him upstairs. "We are together and that is all what is important. You are not alone," smiled Leonor and kissed him fervently as if it would be the last day on earth.
XXX
Leonor stood with folded arms in the door of the cottage. It was already dark, and a cool breeze rushed around the corners. Caryn left a while ago and Leonor still looked in that direction, waiting for Severus to return. He'd made another visit of the village today, an excuse to elude Caryn. Leonor could tell he feared the midwife and didn't want to show that he couldn't keep his fingers off Leonor, that he was overprotective and kept them in the cottage whenever a cloud, wind or bits of rain loomed in the distance.
Then a dark figure emerged at the kissing gate and Severus strode over the grassland with long steps. Pauline and Hugo circled above; they looked out for him too.
"Is she gone?" scowled Severus.
"Hello," replied Leonor frowning and deliberately not answering the question until Severus gave her a kiss and asked again.
"Are we alone?"
"Yes, of course. You've been away for long."
"Well, the perspective is different walking round in the size of you; it takes longer to get things from the upper shelf," teased Severus and went inside suddenly in a good mood.
Leonor gazed at him open-mouthed for the cheek and a drowsy Flint made a feeble noise for greeting. The bird appeared still exhausted coming the way down from Scotland; he'd not settled as well as the owls yet.
Severus shoved some things in the fridge, sent more food in the heaving cupboard under the stairs and put a wrapped package next to the stove. He heated a pot with water and ignored Leonor's questioning look about the rush.
"I thought that I cook tonight," said Leonor curiously.
"Sit down, and don't ask," he answered handing Leonor a glass with a tiny sip of white wine while pouring himself a full goblet.
The colour had returned to Leonor's cheeks; she looked happy and smiled a lot. They slept as much as possible, needed it both. Severus couldn't get enough embracing his two girls whenever there was time for it, Leonor in his arms every night an unknown pleasure. Severus savoured the large bed, the soft sheets and the view to the milky-blue sky. He'd never slept in a bright room before. When the weather allowed it, they made short walks in the fresh sea-air and every day everybody was hungry. He thought that Eileen grew daily, that she was more awake and recognized things around. Severus had never been so well rested. He felt as if he indeed could shield them from every evil.
"What did Caryn say?" asked Severus sternly though he hoped to know the positive answer.
Leonor yawned and circled the wine in the glass, "Eileen does well. She was satisfied, no controls if I don't call, no apparition or broomstick for the next weeks, but I'm allowed to take the bus to the village. So, I release you from wearing my clothes, though I'm a bit disappointed that you insisted on changing in the forest."
"Did you wipe her memory?"
"No, I want somebody to know where I'm, Severus."
Severus sat next to her and put his arm around her shoulders. He agreed to the decision and clinked glasses with Leonor.
"Are you hungry?" he said, wiping away the thoughtful mood.
Leonor nodded, her eyes shone brightly, and she beamed at him. "What are you up to?"
"You didn't answer my question. Hungry?"
"You know that I enjoy eating, haven't had much of it the last nine months."
"Alright, I look after Eileen and you take a long shower." Severus pressed a small flask with a purple liquid into her hands. "Try it, it's revitalizing," he said mischievously and pulled Leonor up.
Leonor obeyed exiting the kitchen slowly; when she returned candles burned on the country-style table. The table was set with white china and the valuable cutlery from the grandparents.
"Severus," called Leonor carefully.
Nothing happened, all was quiet.
"Severus?"
Warm hands embraced Leonor from behind and soft lips moved down her neck.
"I want you to know how grateful I am. I think of you, even if we are separated. You an Eileen are the best in my life, whatever happens tomorrow."
"Don't speak about tomorrow. I don't want those days to end." Leonor leaned into the touch.
"You smell so good, lavender and lily of the valley if I'm not mistaken."
"Your fragrance," whispered Leonor turning to see Severus' face, he smiled and that was still rare.
"I considered it a good mix." And when Leonor agreed then he said firmly, "Sit down."
Severus served a large grilled fish with potatoes and vegetable.
"From the cutter, just caught."
"It smells like …,"
"… fish," completed Severus the sentence before Leonor could name the special note in the air.
"Well, it smells like the sea, seaweed, salt, freedom … You like the sea, don't you?"
"Obviously, it has always been a secret escape since I learned to apparate."
Severus helped himself to vegetables and potatoes and continued to speak, "Listen, the fisherman with the cutter called 'Emma' is a wizard. The outfitter and the owner of the 'The Royal Oak' are wizards too and certainly there are more wizarding families in the neighbourhood. Just be careful," he whispered offering another tiny sip of wine.
They ate without saying much, keeping the free and easy mood carefully wrapped in silence.
Severus finished his plate first and took a large swig from the glass and another when Leonor finished, needing a bit of courage.
"Was it good?" he asked mischievously.
"Excellent. The elves served your meals all those years; how did you learn to cook such a dinner?"
"Talent," replied Severus smugly. "Perhaps I have to thank Lucius and Narcissa for some insights in cuisine."
"You know that I have no clue what fish I ate. You will tell me, won't you?" requested Leonor and leaned forward, moving the candles aside to see Severus' dark eyes in the orange glow.
"Seabass with rosemary and lemon," he said taking her left hand. Then he pulled something invisible from his pocket and put it to Leonor's wrist. The wand lifted the invisibly spell and a graceful bracelet appeared, white-golden and decorated with many small shining stones.
"Sev, you cannot do that," she squealed in surprise.
"And if I can," he leaned forward and their lips touched, first gentle and then more meaningful.
"Sev," breathed Leonor again.
"Do you like it?" he said quietly, holding Leonor's hand gently in his, the silvery brilliance gleamed elegant on the lean wrist.
"The bracelet is so beautiful, much too expensive and matching with the necklace!"
"It shines only because of you and perhaps after a while you will discover the helpful magic within it; you just need patience," explained Severus. His black eyes never left Leonor's brown ones and he caressed her hands gently.
"Sev … I don't know what to say," sobbed Leonor under tears smiling genuinely.
"Say nothing, just come." He led her to the bedroom. They undressed slowly under kisses and touches.
"You are so soft, so fragile," moaned Severus, running his fingers along her body, stroking her back and bum with heavy hands. Severus' fingers seemed to be everywhere sinking into Leonor's hair to twist her head in a certain way kissing harder and hotter. She followed his lead entangling her fingers with strands of his shoulder-length hair and stole his breath to never give him time to regain it. They were like starved and the naked bodies gave them free reign. Time and place didn't matter until Severus took them horizontal on the bed without releasing her mouth.
Then he pulled away and pressed through gritted teeth, "We cannot do that, Leo, not yet."
"No, not yet," she said sadly, "just relax," she commanded lovingly and shoved him to his back against the bed. She positioned her bare body between his legs and slid her hand up his thighs, kissing him tenderly that it made Severus ache with lust.
He groaned, "Don't stop," cupping her breasts, moving his thumb over the erected nipples and pressing himself harder to her massaging hands, watching Leonor's slim shape in the darkness, feeling skin against skin. He couldn't get enough and moaned again shaken by the lustful desire. Severus breathed hard when he came, pulling Leonor to his chest, hands in her hair, whispering her name hoarsely. He couldn't say how long they rested with limbs entangled. When little Eileen made feeble noises of hunger it remembered them sweetly to come back to the present.
The next morning Severus spooned Leonor like the days before. His eyes were still closed and only a daydream wriggled itself through his brain, telling him that it must be almost lunchtime. His hands caressed Leonor's hips and thighs; she giggled sometimes while pretending to be asleep. He progressed further up searching for the feminine curves and then he winced abruptly, clutching his forearm.
"I've been summoned," cursed Severus, jumping out of the bed, collecting his clothes from the floor. "I thought he wouldn't call before late afternoon," he frowned, deep lines on his forehead.
"Did you expect it?" said Leonor alarmed and wrapped herself in the dressing gown.
"The Order of the Phoenix relocates Potter from his aunt and uncle's house tonight. Dumbledore told me to tell the correct date to the Dark Lord. He certainly wants me to participate in the chase."
"Why didn't you mention it?"
"I forgot," answered Severus. It was a bit of a white lie; he decided that talking made matters worse. It was enough when he worried about a thing that no one could change.
Leonor buttoned Severus' robes in silence. He kissed her on the forehead and glanced at the sleeping baby in the crib. Fine brown hair framed the charming and peaceful face.
"Don't wait for me. I cannot say when it is possible to return, perhaps only if the ministry has fallen. Promise me to keep you and Eileen safe whatever comes, will you?"
Leonor nodded; tears stung her eyes. After days of being released from any higher duty, it was worse to let go.
Severus expression became hard and unfathomable and he left quickly. She knew that affection in the moment of the call endangered the walls of Occlumency, and that was the last she wanted to risk.