A/N: Hi, I'm so sorry I abandoned this story during a pandemic – a time where all of us need a time away from reality. So, thank you for my state for going back into lockdown because I finally found inspiration to write this story. Also, thank you so much for the positive reviews on the first chapter! I originally stated that this story would only be two chapters long, but it looks like it will end with three chapters – and I might maybe even turn it into a series if you all enjoyed this story. And one more thing, I apologize if this chapter is written badly. I haven't written something that wasn't meant for college since I abandoned this story.

I hope you enjoy this chapter, it's a long one. The title of this chapter is Coldplay again, so go ahead and listen to the song while reading haha.

"Did I drive you away?"

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Throwing a couple of bills at Joe to pay their tab and making a prompt phone call to Richard – to inform him that they will not be coming into work tomorrow, Mark and Derek had left Seattle immediately.

His mind unraveled as his concerns increasingly grew, as each minute not spent with his ex-wife at the hospital drifted past.

Details regarding the extent of Addison's injuries – despite his efforts to reassure the attending physician on her that he was a doctor as well – could not be disclosed over the phone.

Of course, it was standard hospital protocol. But, as of now, he couldn't think rationally – Derek could no longer think as a detached and emotionless physician. Because as of now, the patient at stake was no longer just a patient, it was Addison.

He needed to know that she was okay.

There were instances in his life where he felt hesitant. Reluctant to act, to move forward; hindered by the possible outcomes of his actions. But, when he heard those words…

"It's Addison, she's been in an accident."

It was enough to send Derek over the edge. Because when it came crashing down to Addison, he was never hesitant.

Though, he couldn't say the same for the remainder of their marriage. He had consistently neglected her emotionally.

In Seattle, he was hesitant to trust her again, to allow her into the depths of his mind – to really talk; to put in an effort to strengthen the inseparable bond they had promised to never break all those years ago.

Derek was bound to her. He was obligated to love and cherish her. Though, what had transpired in New York: the absence and the indifference, including the commitment of adultery from him and her. He had failed to show her any affection. He could no longer show her that he truly cared for her; to provide her the comfort and say the reassuring words to alleviate her concerns.

He had driven her away from him.

And maybe, if he hadn't neglected her, she would have never gotten into an accident.

She wouldn't be hurt.

But, the thing was… she was already hurt. First, it was emotionally, and now, it was physically.

For two hours, Derek's mind was racing, interchanging between worrying about Addison and her possibile physical condition, as well as providing directions for Mark. But, simultaneously, his mind kept retracting to the missed call from Addison.

They were on Mercer, headed west towards the ramp onto I-5, when he had decided to listen to the voicemail that Addison had left for him – the call that he had initially missed from her earlier that night.

The call had been placed three hours prior to her accident. She could have been calling him for numerous reasons, but that was if they were still Addison-and-Derek. Now, they were just Addison and Derek.

They were separated. She was no longer obligated to reach out to him.

"Hey, Derek, I know you've been trying to get a hold of me all day. But, right now, I can't talk to you. At least, not for a while. I appreciate that you still care about me and listening to your messages, I know you're worried about me. And I know you're no longer obligated to worry about me, and I'm sorry that I continue to worry you even if we're no longer together. I know how you get when you're worried and I don't want to fill you with more anxiety. I wanted to let you know that I'm leaving Seattle. I didn't want to disappear and not tell you because well… We've been in each other's life for far too long – one-third to be exact. We've hurt each other a lot these past couple years… I know we're no longer obligated to talk to each other or let alone care for each other after all we've been through, but it would be rude of me not to say goodbye to the person I've had so much history with. So, thank you, Derek. Even if the last few years of us being together wasn't what we imagined, I enjoyed all the memories we shared together. I love you and I want you to be happy, okay? Even if it's not with me."

He retracts from his restless thoughts, informing Mark to get into the right lane and to prepare to take the upcoming exit towards the hospital. "How bad do you think it is?" Mark ponders, checking his blindspot before safely getting into the appropriate lane.

"I love you and I want you to be happy, okay? Even if it's not with me."

Derek fidgets with the loose thread in Mark's leather seat, twirling and un-twirling the thin thread around his index finger repeatedly. He's unsure how to answer, and he's almost fearful that commenting on Addison's supposed physical condition might almost make it come true.

They're crossing an expanse of truss bridges, and Derek allows his head to rest against the cool car window, observing the Columbia River separating the borders between Washington and Oregon. "I'm not sure," Derek answers, settling for a simple and neutral response. He twirls the thread around his index finger again, and then untwirls. "I just hope it's not as critical as we assume it to be."

"Yeah, me too," Mark whispers, barely audible.

Despite how distracted Derek has been all night, he can't help but note that the interstate is serene at this hour, with only a small number of cars occupying the interstate along with them. The hum of the car's engine is calming, and the indecipherable lyrics of a rock station – that Mark had insisted on turning on to alleviate the uncomfortable silence – vibrating softly through the speakers is just enough to calm his nerves temporarily.

Mark drives for several more miles before taking the upcoming exit, and proceeds to drive ten miles over the speed limit – eager, yet anxious to reveal the extremities of Addison's injuries. They navigate through downtown Portland with ease, and find themselves at the hospital faster than either of them had expected.

"Are you coming?" Derek asks, seeing Mark lingering behind in the hospital lobby. "I'm sure she wants to see you more than me."

Mark shakes his head, resorting to sit down in a nearby chair and immediately relaxing. "I'll come up and see her later," Mark responds, followed by a brief yawn. "She called you first and you listened to her message on the way here. I know you want to see her, and I'm almost certain that she wants to see you."

He pauses and stares at him with disbelief, almost caught off guard, "You said earlier tonight that you've been trying to get a hold of her all day, and how you had mentioned your calls go directly to her voicemail," Mark began, "You were staring at your phone the entire drive down here, debating whether or not you should just call her before we came here. You're worried about her, and from what I saw in the car, it looked like she said something in the message that she left for you."

"I love you and I want you to be happy, okay? Even if it's not with me."

Mark was right. He hated to admit it, but he was right.

In New York, he hadn't realized he had distanced himself with not only Addison, but also Mark. They grew up together – they had gone from doing everything together and telling each other everything to not wanting to do anything with Mark.

He had forgotten how intertwined and connected their lives once were.

"We've been in each other's life for far too long – one-third to be exact."

"Go," Mark said, shaking his head and waving his hand to urge Derek to go see Addison. "Go and talk to her. Make sure she's okay. I'll be up shortly."

He nods, sensing that this wasn't up for debate. He allows himself to leave Mark in the waiting room, walking across the lobby and into the elevators.

As the elevator ascends, he's alone with his thoughts once again. He's worried about Addison, whether or not her injuries were life-threatening. But simultaneously, he isn't necessarily sure on how to confront her after hearing the message she had left for him.

"I love you and I want you to be happy, okay? Even if it's not with me."

They were no longer together. Yet, she told him she loved him despite everything that had transpired between them. He was surprised, but at the same time, he wasn't surprised.

It hadn't dawned on him until now...

The elevator stops, retracting Derek from his realization. He approaches the nurses station, finding a young woman in navy blue scrubs slumped over numerous charts. "Uh, excuse me," Derek starts, earning a glance from the young nurse, "Dr. Winston called and said…"

He pauses, unsure on how to address Addison. Was he still listed as her husband as her emergency contact? He shrugs and decides that referring to Addison as his wife is his safest option.

"Dr. Winston called and said my wife was admitted here earlier tonight," Derek continues, "Her name is Addison Montgomery."

"You must be Derek. Dr. Winston informed me that you wouldn't be arriving until much later tonight," the young woman mentions, exhaustion evident in her voice. She reaches for one of the open files on her desk, tracing with her index finger to provide the correct information. "She's in room 929. Just down this hall and it's the last door on the right."

He's tempted to seek information on Addison's current condition. Though, the young woman looks exhausted and stressed out, so Derek forgoes that option. "Thank you," Derek acknowledges, receiving a slight smile from the young woman.

He leaves the nurses station, following the directions that the young woman had given him.

Derek is eager, yet he's apprehensive of seeing Addison. She had left a message, informing him that she didn't want to talk to him – at least not for a while. And in the same message, she had said she loved him but also said that she wanted him to find happiness, even if it wasn't with her.

Now, he's two hours away from home.

Home.

Could Derek even consider calling Seattle his home when he had established the majority of his surgical career and his marriage all the way back in New York?

Seattle was the city where he had escaped to to avoid his crumbling marriage. The city where he had committed adultery, despite the nausea he had felt when he learned that his wife had cheated on him with his best friend. The city where he had gone through the motions, instead of cooperating with his wife to mend their marriage.

The city where he had neglected Addison emotionally consecutive times. The city where he had ended his marriage of eleven years with a quick signature. The city where he had driven the former love of his life to another city.

Now, he's in Portland. In a hospital he hasn't heard of before until now, looking for his ex-wife who probably wasn't aware that she still had her ex-husband listed as her emergency contact.

Derek reaches the end of the hall, finding the door to Addison's hospital room ajar. He isn't sure what to say to her and he isn't sure if he's prepared to see her lying in a hospital bed.

He knows the accident and her admittance into a hospital in an unknown city isn't his fault. Though, Derek can't help but feel guilty. He can't help but think that he was the reason she had left Seattle. If he had listened and cooperated, and put in effort into making his marriage last, she wouldn't have left Seattle.

They would be at home.

Seattle would have been home if she was there with him.

He approaches her room slowly, and from the doorframe, he can see her.

She's laying in her hospital bed peacefully, radiant red waves spilling across the lackluster white hospital pillows. She isn't in a critical condition though, he could tell from afar that she has an extended laceration lining her right arm. Her leg is slightly elevated and put in a delicate cast, assuming that her leg must have been fractured in the accident.

Derek knocks on her door gently, and slowly, Addison's head turns at the sound.

He can't restrain a smile. He's alleviated, yet concerned. But overall, he's happy to see her again, and he's relieved that she isn't in a hospital fighting for her life.

He's ready for her to scream at him – to tell him that she doesn't want to see him or talk to him. But, he's almost surprised when she returns a slight smile.

Maybe home isn't Seattle, and maybe home isn't New York.

"Derek, you're here," Addison whispers, sounding surprised yet relieved that someone has come out to Portland for her.

Maybe home didn't have a definite location. Maybe home is wherever Addison was, and right now, despite how much they both had to discuss – being here with her in an unknown city was enough for his definition of home.