A/N: Thanks again, my wonderful fans! Enjoy!
The faucet in the Scrub room dripped down the seconds as Maggie contemplated if she should hug Richard Webber or... what? So she just stood there, gaping at him, her father and the moment surreally spun around her.
She had come to find a sister. Now she had a father. "I just- wow... you? How?" What was the story there?
Richard rubbed his goatee, his gaze deepening as he reflected. Finally he sighed and turned to look through the window at the OR in front of them. "Ellis was married," he said. "To Thatcher. Meredith's father. I was married." He shook his head and smiled a little... "But Ellis? She was...my soulmate. I knew it when I met her. She was fiery and passionate and fearless. There weren't many female surgeons. There weren't many black surgeons... so we just fit. One thing led to another... and we ended up together. Except we were still married.
"She left Thatcher, and I was going to leave Adele, but..." He sighed. "I chickened out. She was gone a few days later. I didn't even get to talk to her. I didn't know, Maggie. If I'd known... I would've liked to have been a father, I would've liked to have been your father. But I broke her heart, and she ended up raising Meredith alone in Boston."
Maggie sighed, nodding. But she still didn't quite understand something. "Why do you think she gave me up? I mean..." But the answer was obvious wasn't it? She'd been the product of an affair. She'd be a constant reminder of Ellis Grey's own heartbreak.
Richard tilted his head in a fatherly gesture. "Maggie," he said, his brown eyed gaze was warm and soft. "Giving you up would've been the hardest decision she ever made, but it was the right one. Your parents love you. They raised you and cared for you and loved you better than Ellis could ever offer. So don't question that for a moment. Ellis didn't abandon you. She gave the most precious part of herself away so you wouldn't suffer."
How did he do that? Just say the most perfect thing to make her feel... so welcome. "Can I? I just want to-" She stepped forward and Richard embraced her. Encased in his strong arms, Maggie felt... wonderful.
xxx
Thomas Sanderson. That was the name of the man from the woods. Meredith watched him for a moment as he lay in a half conscious stupor. Out of habit, she checked his chart again. No change, but... his condition was precarious. It could go either way, any time. But she'd be dammed if all the work she'd done on Thomas' innards was all for naught.
"Mr. Sanderson?" she called softly.
He murmured something, but kept his eyes closed.
"Mr. Sanderson..." she called again and shook his shoulder, "Thomas..."
"No... I want to sleep. Please, I just want to sleep," He said, shifting slightly in the bed as he tried to force his eyes closed.
"I know..." Meredith said.
"They come when I sleep." Thomas said, nearly crying. "Lily, and Emma. When I sleep, I can see them... they come when I'm asleep."
Meredith knew what he was talking about. She'd dreamed of Derek often after he died. Not always nightmares, sometimes they were good dreams... loving and happy dreams- but... "Thomas?"
"Can you give me something?"
It hurts!
He shifted his legs restlessly under the covers, "I want to..." Go to sleep.
Meredith sat on the far corner of the bed and stilled his right leg. He looked up at her and she saw her own tortured reflection in that gaze.. So much pain. So much blame. So much loss. Meredith schooled her features as her brain cycled through the possible responses she might have.
But ultimately it was her heart that spoke. "No." Meredith said. "I'm not giving you anything." She swallowed. By his expression, she may as well have slapped him.
"Please..." he begged.
"It's not over. You don't know what happened yet."
"They're dead... they're gone... I left them and... oh God, Lily... She's only six!"
Meredith was forced to glance up at the rapidly beeping heart monitor. It was fine, stressed, but fine. She moved closer to him and cupped his face. "Thomas, Thomas... look at me. Look." See my scar? See the emptiness in my eyes? Do you see it?
Thomas sighed loudly, losing strength as she continued to cup his face, "You don't know," Meredith began... "There is a very real chance, that they might still be alive!"
"But I left them... I never should've left them!"
"Stop it! Stop living in the woods!" She snapped, causing the man to quiver in the thrall of another sob. Softer, she said, "You're not in the woods right now. You're in the hospital, and I just spent hours bent over your body stitching it back together. You are alive. And we don't know about your family... Thomas, maybe they're alive! And if you let yourself fall asleep, if you give up..." She looked away, sniffed and wiped a stray tear, "You won't be dreaming of them anymore. You'll be... gone." She released his head as he stared at her with such fear and grief and... "It's just... You have to hang on... because at least you have a maybe. Maybe they're alive Thomas...
"Maybe you were the one that was lost. I don't think you lost them... I think they lost you. And I think, maybe, you need to give them a chance to find you." She reached and motherly stroked the side of his face. "It's not over yet. You're not finished."
Thomas swallowed, "So... maybe?" he asked.
"Maybe," Meredith replied. Thomas had a maybe. And maybe that would be enough. She stood up and reached for the medicine cabinet. Pulling a syringe from the drawer, she filled it with a very light dose of diazepam. "This is to help you relax. It won't put you asleep, because I think you should be awake and aware... in case maybe happens." She injected the dose into his IV.
He stared at her softly, and his eyelids seemed to get heavier, but he forced them open, "Thank you." He said.
She nodded, and began to back out of the room.
"Doctor," he called after her.
Meredith hovered in the doorway between nowhere and nowhere. She was trying really hard not to collapse into a pile of scrubs and tears.
"I hope you find your Maybe," he said.
I don't think you lost them... I think you were the one who was lost. And maybe...
Meredith couldn't reply. She pushed herself away from the door frame, past Owen's concerned gaze, and started down the hall at a run.
xxx
Maggie accepted the cup of tea from Richard as they sat on the same bench that they sat down at when Maggie first revealed her secret. The evening was so still, the air so warm. And wow! She was sitting with her biological father.
"What about Meredith?" Richard asked.
Oh... that.
"She doesn't know yet, does she?" Richard said.
Maggie shook her head, "I wanted to tell her but..." I'm having a really bad day. I'm sore and tired. I really can't talk nice right now, so...
"She didn't want to talk." Richard said.
"Yeah..." Maggie sighed. "I was so excited to meet her- because..." she stuttered, thinking. "My parents are goofy and funny and good people, but they don't get me. They've never understood why I wanted to crack open chests and shock hearts back to life. They don't understand why I want to pour over medical mysteries and run labs and tests. Why I want to cut into people. They just..." she shook her head. "When I found out that Ellis Grey was a surgeon... My entire life just clicked and then you- I feel like I'm coming home. And I want Meredith to be a part of that, but she won't let me."
"I can't speak for Meredith... things haven't been easy for her. But if you try... I think it'll be worth it. She's worth it Maggie."
"You think so?"
Richard nodded. "Absolutely."
"I just don't know how to bring it up..."
Richard's pager beeped and he glanced at it. "You wanna scrub in on a lacroscopic gall bladder removal with your old man?"
"Would I ever!"
xxx
Amelia finished re-packing her suitcase, pressing her knee over the top before zipping it up. She paged Meredith again, but no response. Dammit where was she? She was hoping to catch a ride home with her. She huffed as she exited the on-call room, her home for the last week. She just wanted to go home to a home. She clumsily threw her jacket on as she trundled down the hallway, scanning for Meredith.
"Hey," a familiar voice called.
She turned around, "Dr. Hunt..."
"I'm off shift, you can call me Owen." He laughed.
"Owen..." Amelia smiled. Why did she feel like a giddy teenager? "How's your patient, the lost guy?"
"He's uh... hanging in there." He said.
"That's good. The best you can hope for right?"
Owen nodded optimistically.
"Have you seen Meredith? I'm hoping she could give me a ride home."
"Oh... got back into her good graces did you?"
Amelia chuckled, "I suppose, I don't think I was ever in her bad graces... maybe Lexie's. You know how sisters can be..."
"Umm, yes."
"You have sisters?" Amelia asked as she stepped in sync with him.
"What? Hey, why don't I give you a ride home? I think Meredith might've left already." Owen suddenly appeared distracted.
But Amelia pretended not to notice his misdirection. She was tired , and eager to go home. "A ride? That would be great."
"Cool," Owen nodded, "I'm just gonna change, meet you downstairs?"
"Sure, yeah, great..." Amelia watched him march away. Nice ass, she thought. Hold your horses Amelia... Jeez you've only been here less than a week. You only just broke up with your fiancé. Get a hold of yourself. But as she paced in the waiting room, she couldn't get him out of her head. Owen was ruggedly handsome, and kind, and honest. When she'd worked with him the other day he didn't care about her... mishap with Mark. He complimented her surgical skills. He respected her.
Now he was driving her home. She bit her lip. He could drive her anywhere. Oh stop it Amelia! Now he was driving her crazy! She glanced around the room, half of her hoping Meredith would come around the corner for her and the other half- well more than half hoped for that chiselled jaw, reddish blonde hair and broad shoulders would sweep- uh step around the corner.
Oh this was excruciating. Amelia paced, watching. "What am I doing..." she muttered.
Just then, Owen glided around the the corner, dressed in dark jeans, a simple white t-shirt and a light green Jacket.
"Ready to go?" he asked.
"Y-Yes, ready.
"Great, are you hungry?"
Say no... say no... But then her stomach growled. Crap.
"I'll take that as a yes?" Owen said, smiling.
xxx
Meredith closed the door as she exited the supply closet. This was beginning to become a familiar place for her. She was exhausted. It was time to go home. As she made her way down the hall to the elevator, Edwards ran up to her. "Dr. Grey!" She called.
Oh no...
"Edwards..." Meredith half warned half cried as she followed after the excited resident.
Please don't let it be Thomas... Please!
Adrenaline pumped through her as she dashed down the hall. "No, no, no..." she turned the corner into ICU. She gave him a Goddamn speech. He's not supposed to do this. Not today, please not today...
But there by the door was a police officer, and inside Thomas Sanderson's room, a small girl cried in her father's shoulder, while his wife clutched Thomas' hand, speaking loving words to her husband as he shook with sobs.
Meredith stopped and stared through the window.
"God, I love happy endings... don't you Dr. Grey?" Edwards said cheerfully beside her.
But Meredith was gone again.
xxx
She was dizzy, flushed and woozy when she arrived. Her heart was a tangled jumbled mess from the delirious journey she'd been on in the last twenty-four hours. She clutched the unopened bottle of tequila as she stared down at the familiar site below her.
In white marble, Derek Shepherd's name stood out against the darker grey of his gravestone. Derek Shepherd. Her husband. The first man she ever trusted. The first man she let love her. Now she was standing over his final resting place, looking for what exactly? Wanting what? She wanted... she wanted him. She wanted to hear him say all those things, she wanted him to be everywhere, all the time.
But she didn't have that.
What she had instead... was- a-a maybe.
Maybe?
She twisted off the cap. Took a huge gulp, almost choking on the vile liquid. With the back of her hand, Meredith wiped her lips. "You know... this is all your fault!"