A/N: Thanks everyone for reading! Special thanks to Patsy, mandyg67, Greysfannn and the-cari-moose for your comments! Hopefully I can break 100 reviews with this next update!
Here we go!
Owen pushed through the crowd in the bar, looking for a familiar head of chestnut hair. "Excuse me," he said as he slid past a couple more people. When he arrived at the bar he saw Amelia at the far end, nursing a drink.
Concerned, he made his way to her stool and sat beside her. "Hey," he said.
"Hi," she said, sliding her fingers up and down the glass of her drink. He knew she was in recovery and in AA and that just by being there she was putting herself at risk... even though it looked like she hadn't even take a sip.
"What... what happened? Are you okay?" he asked.
"I can't believe it's been five years and I'm still a mess," Amelia said.
Owen nodded slowly. What could he say?
"Derek was in a motorcycle accident... he was fine, he walked away from it, but- he was in the accident because he was coming to see me. To find me, because I was partying with my friends... and then, later I stole his prescription pads and crashed his mustang... and I overdosed. I stopped breathing for three damn minutes. And everytime I try and put the pieces of myself together- somebody gets hurt or dies-" She stopped and stared at the glass. "What's the point? Why do I do this to myself? I could've been happy Owen, I was engaged. But I broke it off to come here... why? I didn't set out to become department head- I have no ties to Seattle, I was doing great in LA- but Meredith Grey calls and says hey, come up here in case Lexie decides to run off to Washington and I do it... like some blind puppy... And now I'm here, and I have to tell a mother of a little kid that his dad died, that her husband died... It's like hearing it for myself all over again. Why am I here? I'm a mess!"
When he was sure she was finished venting, Owen put his hand over hers. "You're not a mess. In the OR, talking with that patient..." he shook his head, "You weren't a mess, you were a top of the line professional. And... I don't know why you're here, but I have a little sister, she followed me like a little puppy dog too, and I think... if something happened to me, she'd want to know everything about me. She'd want to know my friends, my work... maybe this is what you're doing here, I don't know. But, I am glad that you are here. It's good, that you're here."
Amelia sniffed. She pushed the drink further away from her. "I don't need this."
Owen smiled. "You know, it's not raining... we could go for a walk."
"Yeah, I think I'd like that."
xxx
"Oh my God..." Maggie said as she stared at the scanned file on the computer. Patient admitted with wrist lacerations, it said, patient unaware of pregnancy.
"What?" Wilson asked peering over her shoulder.
"No!" she snapped the laptop shut. "This is private!"
"Okaay..."
"Sorry, I just... I saw something that I don't think I should've... Needless to say, I think I understand why Meredith can be a bitch."
"Hey! you're supposed to be on my side here!"
"I'm not on anyone's side, I just... I have so many questions, and I don't think Meredith is going to answer them." She ran a hand through her hair and sighed. "Wilkins, get me Richard!"
"Wilkins? It's Wilson! and I'm not some dammned secretary, call your own sperm donor father!"
Maggie smiled and shook her head. "Wow, that was- wow. You really brought the thunder there."
Wilson brightened at the compliment, "Thanks."
With that, Maggie stood up, "I'm gonna call a cab, Richard's probably in surgery."
"You're gonna talk to him right now?"
"Yeah... I have to figure this out. When I start a puzzle, I don't stop until I finish it."
"Whatever," Wilson said as she stood up to walk her out.
xxx
Meredith finished wrapping the bandage around Zola's head. She fought the urge to pick her up and hold her. God, she'd grown so fast, her little chubby cheeks were nearly gone, but her beautiful brows and tiny nose still remained.
Normally a resident would be involved in the post-op care, but she took charge this time for just a few quiet moments with the girl. She checked all her tubes and wires, and made sure that the inscision sites were clear before covering her with a blanket. "All set," she whispered. Gazing at the four-year old, she couldn't help but wish for her innocence. "You're so lucky..." she murmured. "You don't know about the world yet..."
Her pager beeped, and she sighed. 9-1-1 from Alex. It was going to be a long day.
xxx
Callie walked down the halls to post op recovery, where she was supposed to meet Arizona. She had some good news and she wanted to share it. Since Arizona had been working with Dr. Herman, they'd barely had time to just sit and be themselves. She was hoping, after Arizona's surgery and their appointment with the social worker, that they would have some time together.
She found her looking through the glass of the recovery ward, still wearing her pink scrubcap, her arms folded over her chest thoughtfully.
"Hey, what's up?" she asked Arizona.
"Oh. Hey," she smiled back, but there seemed to be no joy behind the smile. She turned to look back through the window. Callie followed her gaze. Inside the small room Meredith Grey was carefully bandaging Zola's head.
"Shouldn't a resident be doing that?"
"She insisted." Arizona said.
"Grey?" Callie asked, raising an eyebrow. Who would've thought Medusa had a soft spot for African kids? Or any kids? She'd just seemed so detached before.
"Callie... I think we should talk." Arizona started.
"Yeah, look Arizona, I have some great news, Hunt and I are going to be working on a project for war amputees! I just got the funding today!"
"Wow! Really? That's...great."
Callie pursed her lips together, "You don't sound happy."
"Well, we're adopting a kid, and I'm doing this fellowship with Herman, and Mark's gone for who knows how long... can we actually do this?"
"What? Of course we can, Arizona..."
"I mean, Zola has special needs, she's going to need specialized care... physio, braces. And we'll have to make sure she gets along with Sofia, and they're going to be doing home checks and background checks... and-" she turned back to the window, "I think I made a mistake."
Her words sliced through Callie's heart. "You think adopting a kid is a mistake?"
Arizona sighed. "I don't know... I- I was trying to make you happy. I was trying to fix us."
Callie wrapped her arms around herself. "So this adoption idea was just a band-aid for our relationship?"
"No! Well- I uh" Arizona stammered.
Callie shook her head, "I knew it, I knew you weren't one hundred percent sure of this. So now you want to back out?"
"I just think-"
"So you're not going to adopt her?" Meredith asked as she exited the room.
She was met by gaping stares from the couple.
"You know, you don't have to have everything to be happy," Meredith continued. "You don't have to be everything. You have Sofia. And Mark. You have great promising careers and decent sleep at night. Isn't that enough? Isn't it enough to wake up next to the person you love?"
"Meredith-" Callie started, this wasn't any of her business.
"Don't Meredith me!" she snapped. "I know you're good people, loving people, but Zola is not a band-aid. She's not something that you add to your life just so you can be happier, like some new toy or piece of furniture." Her gaze turned to the sleeping girl. "She is your life. She should be everything... and if she's not..." she shook her head. "I have to go," she muttered as she stormed away.
"Meredith,"Callie called. Damn girl, she thought, before she turned to Arizona. "What are we going to do?"
xxx
"Okay..." Richard said as he finished the final cut on the liver lobe he was resecting. "Everything looks good, let's put this on ice and get it to Bailey," he said to the nurse, who nodded and followed his instructions.
"Dr. Webber..." someone said, causing him to look up from his patient.
"Mag-uh Dr. Pierce," He said awkwardly as he regarded his daughter. She stood in the OR covering her face with a mask. "I didn't expect you to be here..."
"I just- I really need to talk to you."
"Okay," He wondered what this was about. "Can you close?" he asked the resident across from him. "Finish his post-op care and report back to me."
"Yes sir," he said.
Maggie met him in the scrub room. "Is everything okay?" he asked as he ran water over his hands.
"Please tell me that Ellis Grey didn't try to kill herself."
How did she know about that? Richard flashed back to several years ago when Meredith told him. The hurt and blame in her eyes clearly put him at fault, and it was a wound he long thought healed until Maggie brought it up. "Uh... how do you know about that?" he asked, trying to give himself a few moments to think of what to say. What do you say?
"It doesn't matter... it's just- it's-"
"Unbelievable?" He suggested.
"She was a gifted surgeon, she had a veritable pick of spots all over the country, but she was willing to throw it all away?"
Richard sighed. "Ellis and I were in love. Very much in love. That day, the day she attempted to take her life, we made a pact. I would leave my wife, and she would leave her husband. She left Thatcher, but... I stayed. I chose to stay with my wife... because I was sure that I would be jealous of everything she ever accomplished. So, I ruined it."
"And she slit her wrists." Maggie said.
He nodded, "Meredith called 9-1-1. She was just a kid, Maggie, five years old..." As he wiped his hands with the towel, he said, "I don't think she wanted to die, I think... it was a cry for help. But I didn't know a thing about it. Meredith told me a few years ago. After her attempt, Ellis went to Boston... and that was it."
"Richard..." Maggie said slowly, "We could've had a whole different life..."
Her words hit him harder than he ever thought possible. A whole different life. He would've raised Meredith and Maggie, Ellis in his bed every night. A big house, the world at their fingertips. "It was my fault. All of it." He sighed. "I'm sorry."
Maggie nodded. "I think I should go now. I'm... tired."
He wanted to call her to him, try and fix it, but he knew this was the kind of thing that needed time to fix. He only hoped Maggie would stay around so he could.
xxx
Meredith finished her exam on the girl, Nadia. "There's free fluid build up, we don't have time for a CT, we have to go in now!" As Alex and Warren prepared her for transport, she noticed the dark haired woman hovering outside the room. "Excuse me," she said, "I'll meet you up there."
She walked toward the woman wondering... was this the mother? How could anyone let this happen? "Are you Nadia's mother?"
"No... I just, I just want to know if she's okay..."
"No, she's not okay! She's got a ten pound tumor inpinging on her internal organs! She could die! How could you not notice..."
"I'm sorry," the woman sobbed. "I was afraid they'd send us back-"
"That's called medical repatriation, and we don't do that here," Meredith responded.
"I was terrified that they'd send us back, and I'd become a prostitute, or even worse, they'd make her... I swear I never meant for this to happen. These thoughts, they make you crazy. I was so scared, and after awhile, I convinced myself, that... it wasn't real. After a while, I didn't see the tumor... I just saw what I wanted to see-"
You're five years younger than me, I would've known if my mother was pregnant!
Meredith, please... don't- don't call them... don't.
Are you the brave girl who called 911?
She shook those thoughts away. "I have to go, this isn't over."
xxx
"Argh!" Jo growled when the doorbell rang again. "Go away!" she said, but still she marched down to the door and opened it a crack. She peered out and saw a young woman with light brown hair and very familiar eyes standing on the porch, with a suitcase and a big bag. "Yeah?" she asked.
"Um... does Alex still live here?"
"Who the hell are you?" Jo asked, although she had a nagging suspicion.
"I'm his sister, Amber... I was wondering if maybe I could crash here for awhile?"
Damn. What was up with everybody and their sister?
A/N: Dun Dun Dunnnn! Please review! Ideas welcome! Also just updated Off the Carousel, if anyone is interested!