A/N: Whew! What crazy busy week its been! I work in the service industry, and it was a long weekend up here in Alberta, and just... wow! Crazyness!
So here I am, in a donut shop, trying to ignore the crying babies and long busy line-ups with loud busy customers, to write this, because I'm so tired that if I try to write at home, I'll probably fall asleep and drool all over my computer.
But anywho...
Thanks so much mandyg67, Patsy, Melanie, gale123 and Ellen for your encouragement! Never hurts to leave a review, as it pushes me to try my best for my fans. And Patsy, thanks for your review of Growing Pains! Truly a pleasure hearing from you!
Enjoy!
"Twenty something female carjacking victim... multiple lacs and contusions, open tibia fracture, hypotensive and tachycardic..." A paramedic wheeled the young woman in to a trauma room.
Jo looked up automatically when she heard the words 'carjacking.' Her heart thump-thumped in her chest.
"Wilson, you're with me..." Hunt called, slipping on a trauma gown.
She nodded, and followed the Chief over to begin examining the patient.
"My car... they took my car..." The young woman whimpered. There, in that moment, Jo was transported to her past...
Flashback:
"Hey you! Rugrat! Get outta the car! Get outta the car or I'll beat you."
Jo snapped awake and stared at the angry face of a drunk. She clutched the steering wheel and shook her head. She had all her stuff in here. Her whole life. A laundry basket of clean clothes that she'd washed in the school laundry room, a couple hundred bucks she'd scrounged up from odd jobs, her school text books. School was the only thing she had going for her. No way was she going to give that up.
"You gonna be like that huh?" the man sneered, and then tapped the window with a metal baseball bat.
Fearful panic set in, but she set her jaw and stuck her hand in her pocket and pulled out the tiny .22 caliber revolver, pointing the barrel upwards at the man. "Get the fuck away from my car, asshole!"
The man immediately backed off, raising his arms in surrender. "Alright, Alright..."
Jo shook her head. This was no time to relive her past. She had to help her patient.
"It's all right," Owen said, "It's going to be alright." He nodded as he palpated her abdomen. "Page Ortho. Wilson, let's immobilize that fracture." Owen ordered, and she barely nodded in acknowledgement.
"They took my car..." she said again.
"It's all right, it's replacable, everything is replaceable. You're alive right now, and that's what matters. What's your name?"
"Melissa," she said. "I work at office depo... I- ohhh- I just got the job there. I was asleep, I was asleep, and then they smashed the window... and then-" Melissa's eyes got glassy. "Everything was in that car..."
Suddenly the monitors beeped erratically and she fell unconscious.
"Dammit!" Owen shouted. "There's free fluid in her abdomen, there's no time for a CT. We'll have to open her up right now."
"Right now?" Jo asked, staring at the body before her.
"Unless you want her to bleed out?"
"No sir."
"Get me a laparotomy tray... let's go people!"
But even as she worked, Jo couldn't keep her heart from churning, she'd been so close, so close to losing everything. Now... she had her own place, her own bed... but still... did she still have Alex? What if the truth came out? Or what if he proposed?
"Wilson!" Owen barked, "Focus!"
xxx
April rubbed her belly tiredly as she rounded the corner to the attending's lounge. Trauma was crazy this morning, and this was the third time she had to pee, and she just needed a minute to herself, just to settle... relax. Jackson paged her here, and she wondered if maybe he could rub her feet or something.
"Dr Kepner!" Maggie called, "April!"
"Uh... Pierce?" April replied, turning to see the cardiothoracic surgeon jogging toward her.
"I've been trying to find you..."
"Oh, you need me for a consult?"
She shook her head. "No, I know this sounds weird because we're not exactly friends or anything, but I was thinking about Meredith and Zola, and I thought that if... well if she gets custody maybe we could have like a little party, and you could bring Noah..."
Suddenly the attending's lounge door swung open, "Oh! Why that sounds wonderful!" A pert and perky voice pitched. "Jackson told me Meredith was adopting, Oh... that girl has been through so much, what with the accident and all..."
April froze. "Mom?"
"April, I was going to call honey but Jackson told me you were busy with all that trauma ER doctor stuff. I didn't want to bother, but then I was thinking I missed my grandson, and I wanted to help set up the nursery, and Jackson... oh sweet Jackson has so many questions... He's just not like us Kepner stock is he? So I thought maybe we could have dinner... Oh my goodness, you've popped April. How is everything? How are your feet? You know Frieda from church says you shouldn't be up on your feet for so long.. Oh! And look what I found at the airport gift shop! Zoo animal decals! I thought they would be perfect for your baby's new room! Which I hope you plan on painting in gender neutral colors..."
April blinked. Ah yes... hurricane Karen Kepner had arrived. "Hiii mom," she said, forcing a smile. She didn't quite know what to feel at the moment. She was tired, a little cranky and hormonal, her feet ached and she had to pee.
Her mother had ambushed her.
And again, before she knew it, she was being pulled into a tight hug from her mother. "Oh... um... good to see you?"
"Well, we'll talk later?" Maggie said, inching away.
April was about to pull a switcheroo and fiest her mother on Maggie, but Jackson popped up behind Karen, "There you are! Hey, Connie in OB says she'll be free for us to get an ultrasound if we want to go up there now..."
Darn. Party for Zola? Her mother? Dinner? Zoo animal decals? Gender neutral colors? Ultrasound?
April turned to Maggie when she was released from her mother's grip. "Yeah.. later." And then she turned back to her mother and Jackson. "Can I just..." she pushed through the two people who loved her most in the world, wanting just to plop on the couch and put her feet up and scowl and demand ice cream.
Except the couch was covered in toys, and baby stuff, and boxes...
"Oh, I got a little carried away..." Karen clasped her hands together, "Jackson was going to put this in his car, weren't you honey?"
Jackson beamed. "Yes, yes I was." He bent to kiss her on the cheek but she grabbed his arm. "Whoa," he said.
"No. No Jackson. You are not going anywhere. I know you love my mother, but YOU are going to clear off that couch right now, and I am going to the bathroom, and when I'm done, YOU oh husband, are going rub my stinky swelling feet while I sit here and demand my mother-" she glared at her mother, "goes to the cafeteria and brings me some ICE CREAM. And then... maybe, maybe... We'll talk about the nursery and 'zoo decals and party's and ultrasounds. Because if this doesn't happen in the next twenty seconds, I swear I'm gonna explode..."
Jackson and Karen shot each other a knowing look.
"Right then," Jackson said, walking toward the couch and scooping up a bunch of boxes.
"Which way is the cafeteria?" asked Karen as she shuffled to the door.
"Take the elevator to the first floor and make a left when you get off..." April replied, scooting to the bathroom and slamming the door.
After she finished, she sighed and stood in front of the mirror. She rubbed her swollen belly, smiling when the baby moved inside her, a little roll. "Oh, I know, we're a crazy bunch. But we love you so..." she said, smiling.
xxx
"Hope to hell you studied Robbins," Dr. Herman said as she stepped into the OR. "Glove me," she said to the nurses. "I will warn you, I did not sleep well last night, so my patience will be thin."
Arizona swallowed nervously. Studied? Of course she studied. Her and Callie stayed up all night, going over every note, every detail, because... well, as she had discovered, Dr. Herman was a grade A bitch.
Alex thought she was being set up for failure with all that was going on. Just yesterday, Herman had dumped her entire service on her, while still expecting her to study everything for this C-Cam procedure on little Waldo Pfieffer. Still she wasn't about to give up. Callie wanted her to do this. She wanted to do this. In her mind, it was one of the steps for to get on their way to being happy. Besides, she had back up.
"Karev, how nice of you to join us," Herman said.
"Yeah, well, I heard this was an interesting procedure, didn't want to pass up a chance to see it myself." Alex said smoothly. Really he was there for Arizona, but she didn't say anything.
"Good," Herman said, "Let's begin. Scalpel."
Arizona paid careful attention, answering all of Herman's questions and following her intructions to the letter.
"Now, why do we prepare for bradycardia?" Herman asked.
"Because, as you wrote in your notes, this procedure results in fetal cardiac arrest fifty percent of the time," Arizona said, glancing at her mentor over her mask.
Herman regarded her carefully. "Feels strange doesn't it? To touch a baby before it's even born?"
Arizona nodded.
"You know what it feels like?" Herman asked as she carefully removed the tumor. "Privilege. Great- ah!" Suddenly she clutched her head and bent slightly at the waist.
"Dr Herman!" Arizona called, eyeing the nurse to catch her scalpel before it fell.
Herman swayed, blinked. "I apologize. Migraines. It won't happen-" But she was interrupted by loud rapid beeping of the heart monitors as the baby went into fetal cardiac arrest.
"Dammit!" Arizona swore. She looked up for guidance, but her mentor seemed flustered. "Get me one of Atropine and Epi IM, now!" A needle was slapped into her palm and she inserted it into the fetus' deltoid.
A second later, the monitors showed a stable rythmn, and she breathed as sigh of relief.
"Excellent work, Robbins," Herman said, without skipping a beat. "Let's continue to close."
Afterwords, she met Alex alone in the scrub room. "What was that?" she asked him. "What was she doing in there? Migraines? What kind of surgeon with a history of migraines operates on a fetus?"
Alex rubbed his chin. "I don't know, I'd almost think she's hazing you, but something is definitely up with her."
"What am I gonna do?" Arizona asked, "This fellowship is all I have. Callie and I have been using it to get closer together... "
"I don't know..." Alex replied. "You gotta talk to her."
"Yeah," Arizona said, staring down the hall after her mentor. "I guess so."
xxx
Amelia walked through the hallway, not really caring where she went. Not even walked, more like drifted. You are not my sister. You are Derek's sister. And Derek is gone. Meredith's words echoed in her psyche. What was she doing here? She was pathetic. This was pathetic.
Get your own life!
Was she really just taking over Derek's role here? Was she just the wrong Shepherd? How could Meredith say that? How could she-
Suddenly a red hot fire burned in her. Who did she think she was? The great and mighty Meredith Grey- ruler of all that is Dark and Twisty. She Who Buries Things. Meredith didn't feel. She buried. Amelia had witnessed it time and time again. That look in her eye, that 'fuck you' look. Meredith was Medusa. She was hollow. Empty. If Derek saw her now? Amelia scoffed. He'd be disgusted.
Right?
She stopped in the middle of the hall when she realized where she was. Hovering just outside Owen's door. She didn't bother knocking, she just opened the door, walked right in. She needed to feel. She needed to feel something. She needed to feel Owen.
He was on the phone, his back to her.
"When is the next flight out?" he was asking. "I need to get on the first one out of here," he was saying.
The voice on the other end sounded distressed.
"Well I don't give a damn! This is my sister we are talking about here!"
More panicked chatter from the other end.
"Tomorrow?" Owen said, "What time?" he scribbled something on a post it. "Uh huh. Okay. Well I have to make arrangements, but I'll be there. I will be there." And at that precise moment, he turned around to hang up the phone. "Amelia..."
"Owen... planning a trip?" she croaked. Of course. She should've known. Every man in her life leaves somehow...
xxx
It was the nurses who told Maggie where to find Meredith. And when she found her standing outside the daycare watching the kids play through the glass window, Maggie was confused. Shouldn't Meredith be in there with Zola now? This past week, Janet had allowed for visitation, and Zola had been spending time here. Just yesterday, Meredith had bolted here after surgery so excited to sit with the little girl for even a few minutes.
Why was she standing on the outside, looking in?
"Hey Meredith..." Maggie said, coming up beside her. "I was looking for you. I uh... finished your mom's journals," she said, trying to think of something to say to break the ice.
"Oh, yeah." Meredith nodded, but Maggie may as well have said gibberish, for Meredith continued to stare at nothing through the window.
Maggie saw Zola happily sitting on the floor, attempting to build some sort of structure with jumbo lego blocks. "Aren't you going to go in there? Say hi?"
Meredith said nothing.
"Meredith?"
"You should go back to Boston."
"What?"
"I'm poison. I'm giving you fair warning Pierce, because one of these days I'll hurt you. I won't mean to- but I'll say something or do something and I'll screw you over."
Maggie didn't understand. What was she ranting about?
"I mean... that's what happens. It happened to Izzie, and George, and Derek." She shook her head. "I'm a black hole sucking away your bright and shiny..."
She decided to ignore The Rant, "Meredith, go inside, say hi to Zola. I'm sure she wants to see you."
"I can't... not anymore. I thought I could. I thought, you know... that I could make jam-" She swallowed thickly but shook her head.
Maggie narrowed her eyes at her sister. "What are you saying? I don't understand."
"What kind of person sticks her hand on a bomb? Or decides not to swim? Or asks a gunman to shoot her, even if she is pregnant? Or dr-drives a jeep down a busy highway when they're eight months along? Me. I do. I kill things. People, babies. Four-year old african orphans. It's my M.O. I should call Janet, just call the whole thing off-"
"No." Maggie said sharply.
"What?"
"Meredith, you are literally just days away from making Zola's dreams come true. You're really gonna ruin that?"
"It's just- Everything is so screwed up. I'm gonna screw it all up."
Maggie wasn't really a touchy feely person. She was analytical She liked facts and statistics, and when it came to family and relationships, she could sometimes be a rambling nerd. But she knew one thing. She knew what it was like to feel wanted and loved. She didn't have a tragic life. Not so much as a cat died in her family yet. Her friends and life in boston had been loving and drama free. She knew the warmth of a mother's embrace, the encouragement of a father's pat on the back.
And she knew what Meredith needed right now. "For heaven's sake," she muttered opening the door to the nursery and walking directly to her objective. Four year old Zola. She crouched down and smiled brightly, and Zola responded with a flash of her own white teeth. She scooped her up- Zola was tiny for her age- waved and gestured to the daycare worker and brought her to Meredith. "Here, take her."
She didn't even give her a chance to think about it. Zola was there, suddenly in 'Medusa's' arms.
"Uh Maggie- I"
"Just tell me now... that you can't do this. That you don't want her."
"That's not-"
"Just... sit there, and look at her, and think about all the good things you'll give her because she'll become your daughter. And she'll have a special advantage, a mother that knows pain and suffering, that knows exactly how to comfort her when she's in pain, or in trouble. Because you've been there, you've seen worse, and you will survive."
Meredith shifted Zola awkardly in her arms. "I-"
Maggie smiled. "Now go on, be her mother." she said, before walking back down the hall. Now, to find April and Karen, they simply must plan this party.
Like now.
A/N: How's that? Okay, now go click on my profile and go read my new story Gone Baby Gone... for a taste of suspense. (Warning, M rating) Hee hee.