Hey I am back! If you don't know what to do on the weekend, here is a little fill-in ;o) And this chapter is longer than the others. Sorry it is always a little short, but I'll work on that! Have fun reading!

Down on my knees in front of one of the graves I began to shiver slightly. I couldn't believe it. Was Amy dead? Was this her grave? I looked at the wooden cross again. The bracelet Glenn gave to Amy a week ago was nailed to the cross. Tears began to fill my eyes.

- I remembered me and Glenn had been on a run and found a tent with two dead people. A man and a woman. The couple must have been attacked at night. The bodies were still in their sleeping bags, smelling like shit. We went through their stuff and found some batteries and crackers. Glenn searched through the bag of the woman and showed me a bra. "You need a new one?" First I blushed, but then just laughed at him. "Not my size." He continued searching the bag. "Don't think she'll need anything of this anymore!" I looked down on the half eaten bodies. "Let's keep going. I can't stand the smell any longer." But Glenn kept on looking through the bag. "Glenn!" The moment I wanted to drag him out the tent, he took out another acquirement. It was a silver bracelet with a pink pearl. "I guess that's not your size either." He smirked. I was almost out of the tent when I looked back at him. "That's more Amy's style!" -

Amy was the nicest of all the women and I really liked her. I imagined her right in front of me, smiling. She always smiled. No, this couldn't be true. This couldn't be right. I stood up and Alex looked at me with sad eyes. Her look made me feel even more shattered. I tried to avoid the gaze of the men who went along with us. This was a nightmare and it was getting worse. I shook off the bad thoughts. No, Amy had survived, she just had to.

I turned around to find other graves, nameless graves. I counted them and hoped that Glenn and Daryl were not lying in one of them. The crosses were bare and with no hint of the one buried underneath. I began to hysterically look from one grave to the next, my heartbeat sped up. I almost felt like dying from not knowing if Daryl was alive. In the moment of nearly losing consciousness, I felt Alex embracing me softly from behind. I was startled. She was some kind of foreigner to me, but still the comfort felt good. She didn't say one word. I think she knew that no words would make me feel better in any way. I felt tears welling up inside of me, but fought against the urge to cry. But it was hopeless, I felt the wet salty drops streaming down my face. And with the tears leaving my eyes, I felt hope leaving me too.

Do you know how it feels like being left behind? It feels like life is slipping through your hands and as much as you want to hold on, you cannot grab the twine that knits life. That is what I felt like in that scattering moment. I was devastated. It was like all fell down …

I felt like a lifeless shell clung to Alex' body. With dead eyes I watched the others examining the campsite. I saw Nick glancing around. He walked through garbage and stopped next to two dead persons I didn't know. "The Camp must have been attacked. I see graves but these guys are not buried." He must be right. "But no cars. The others must have left this place a while ago." A sudden pang hit me. They left without me? No hint, no note where they went? They were not here … no one was here …. Alex hugged me tighter as I began to quiver. "No …" I broke free from here hug and ran to the place where Daryl had pitch his tent. But the place where it should have been was empty. This must be a good thing, he must be alive. The others would never take his stuff with them. But that also meant he was gone too.

Alex silently approached me. After a little time had passed, she decided to talk first. "They are gone Ella." I fell down on my knees where once had been Daryl's tent. My leg hurt as my knees touched the muddy ground. "Be careful." Alex came to my side and lifted me up. "You leg is bleeding again." I laughed nervous. "Does that matter at all?" Her hands were still under my arms. "Ella, they were attacked. Maybe they thought you were dead because you haven't been around. They didn't know you were alive and in Atlanta. What do you think they should have done? Wait here, next to their buried friends? Maybe they are near, set up camp away from this place." She tried to cheer me up but it didn't work. Her words made sense but still … they left. Alex shook me softly to get my attention. "Don't shut down now. Let's drive around and see if they are somewhere close." She kneeled down and examined my leg. "You are bleeding again. I think the wound reopened. Maybe we should get back." I shook my head. I shoved her aside and made a few steps forward, looking down on Daryl's former bivouac.

I thought he was my friend. Why did it hurt me so much that he left? The last time we spoke, he was a bit more open, he even smirked at my words. I remembered us looking in each other's eyes, I thought I saw something in his eyes before he kinda awkwardly began to speak about skinning rabbits … As I took one last glance at the ground, I saw something between Daryl's leftovers. I shoved a bloody towel aside and saw a small pile of dirt. There was the hunting knife Daryl had given me to protect myself. It was stuck in the dirt like a cross on a grave and next to it someone wrote R.I.P. I felt tears on my face again. He must think I am dead. I took the knife, wipe away the tears and turned around. "I don't think they will come back."

The others looked at me with serious glances. "What?" Alex's eyes followed me as I moved to the car. "How do you know?" I went past her and John. "They think I am dead." They followed me to the car, where Nick was sitting on the hood. "Why do you thing that?" I showed him the knife. "It was a gift … it was mine. They left it here." His eyes showed sympathy, but I didn't care. I felt empty. If they think I was dead they won't be looking for me. But I could look for them, because I knew they were alive. At least I knew Daryl was definitely alive. That was the only thing that kept me going right now.

I got in the car and waited for the others to do the same. John got in last and started the engine. "Let's make a round and then go home." Alex sat next to me. "Ella, you okay?" She examined my leg and then her eyes wandered to meet mine. "He is alive." I told her with a husky voice. First she didn't know who I was talking about but then her lips became a small smile. "Okay. We go around, but we have to be back before dark!" I smiled back at her and mouthed a thank you.

We drove around the forest and even got on a highway. Alex studied a map in her lap while John drove around smashed cars, leftovers, and dead not-moving-people. I became nervous. There was no sign of them. Nothing. I wished Daryl would have taught me how to track, but it had already been hard to get through to him, not to mention to teach me how to skin an animal. None of these guys in the car knew how to track so it was just looking out of the window for the living. Alex moved her finger on the map. "We are already too far away from our hotel. It is getting late, we should head back!" John made a u-turn. They were right, but I needed a hint of my friends. I needed to know in which direction they may have gone. I saw John's reflection in the driving mirror. He was looking at me, but couldn't read his features. "We can stop at the campsite again, maybe someone came back." I was surprised by his offer. Maybe he wasn't all like Merle as I thought before.

When we arrived at the campsite it was still empty. "You have something I can write on to leave a note?" Alex nodded. She grabbed her bag from behind and pulled out a notebook and a pen. "Thanks." I exited the car and moved to the fireplace were a few stones were lying upon another.

I am alive and keep looking for you! Ella

I put my note under one of the stones so it was still visible. I dearly hoped someone of my group would come back and find it. I inhaled deeply before I went back to the car. As we drove away slowly, I took one last glance at the pile of stones and let out a silent prayer for someone to come back.

On the way back to the hotel no one said a word. Not even Alex who seemed to be talkative the whole time. I realized it was all my fault. I went away without telling someone. "We go on runs every now and then to gather supplies. You can stay with us and go on runs with me. Maybe we'll find them." I was looking out of the window but watched Alex reflection. "Thanks Alex." Maybe I would accept her offer. Better to go out with someone then alone and not even knowing where to go. I promised to myself I would go out every day … but was there even a point in doing so? Dark thoughts clouded my mind. My heart ached. I almost could hear it shatter in thousand pieces. I was broken … As I looked into the distance again, my head leant against the window, I heard his voice again. You gonna give up so easily? Never thought you were that stupid. I tried to shut it out. Don't quail! Why couldn't he leave me alone right now … I just wanted to surrender to my thoughts, but he didn't let me. Where is that smiling bad ass who annoyed me all the time? You will never give up, you will fight!

I felt the cold steel of Daryl's hunting knife in my hands and held it tighter. I thought about him again, his blue eyes and his voice. I liked the sound of it and I missed it right now. I didn't mind if he would scream at me, affront me or make a sarcastic comment, I just wanted to hear his voice. If you want to hear him you have to go look for him! Get your bad ass out there again and keep on looking!

Thanks for reading! I hope you liked it and please review ;o) As always: See you soon!