Hello again ;o) wohho next update! Well the chapter 15 doesn't really feel right, maybe i ll rewrite it ... but i wanted to go on, there are so many ideas in my head and i don't want to keep you waiting. So without further babble, have fun reading:

I stumbled through the woods. My face was swollen, my lips and nose bloody. Did I taste something else but blood in the last days when I had been imprisoned by these bastards? I didn't want to know what I looked like with walker's blood all over me. My left arm was like a dried leaf at a tree, waiting for the next wind to be blowing away. I would never be able to use this arm again. It was dead, couldn't even move my fingers. At least I could move my right arm even if it hurt. I took a closer look and saw the cuts the men had made on my wrist and arm. Don't think about that now. Run. Stay conscious and run! I sped up, but was stopped by a gnarling. A walker was in front of me, but he wasn't looking my direction. He hadn't seen me … had he? I slowly walked backwards. But all the leaves and branches on the ground made a rustling noise. The walker turned and looked my direction, but wasn't moving. Maybe the walker's blood on my body still gilded my own scent. Just in case, I hid behind a tree and peeked out. I heard metallic rattling. A closer looked told me the dead body was caught in a bear trap. I exhaled in relieve.

Slowly I made my way away from the zombie and walked on. If there was a bear trap, maybe there was a hunter around. Maybe I was lucky to find someone to help me. I stopped realizing I didn't want to meet someone, didn't want to be imprisoned again. Not everyone is a threat. Think about your group. I just sneered at his words. "I learned pretty fast that human beings are more to fear than human eating dead bodies." He didn't have a comment on that. No … from now on I had to make it on my own. Or just die! No Ella, you are not going to kill yourself!

I walked on thinking about suicide. After this nightmare I wanted to finish this fucking life. NO! "It's my decision!" Don't dare to open that door! "Leave me alone for once!" Silence. I breathed in deep, welcoming nothing but silence. When I breathed out I felt a sting in my shoulder. I was still wounded and my legs burned … To die now would end all the pain. I walked on and saw a street, but didn't dare to go there. Streets always lead to civilizations. I learned that at school. I was afraid that Joe or Phillip would look for me or just run my way again. I stepped out of the trees, looking right and left like a primary school kid on his way home. There was no living and no dead to be seen, so I ran across the street and deeper into the woods on the other side.

After I slowed down my legs hurt like hell again. I wanted to lie down, but that was not an option. I leaned against a tree instead and puffed. If I would lie down now I would never have the strength to stand up again. I reeled to the next tree and rested again. The cuffs around my wrists, had made them sore. How could I get rid of them? I tried to pull my hand out of the cuffs, but nothing. How long could I go on like this?

Chattering of teeth. I looked around the tree to find a rotten man slurping through the woods. "Goodbye brother!" Suddenly the voice was back. Don't do this to yourself. He will eat you alive. Maybe he was right, but in this world life wasn't worth living anymore. I had lost my family, my beloved ones, my groups and friends. I had lost my pride and my dignity. I was lost. "Everything comes at an end eventually." I was wounded and there was no aid, no help at all. Maybe I was out of my mind to act like that but I didn't care anymore. I approached the gnarling geek. My thoughts were all around the voice of my brother, but he kept quiet. "I'll always love you brother, in life and in death …" The walker sniffed in the air, as if he smelled my scent, my blood. He turned to face me. "Come and get me motherfucker." I love you too Ella. But this is wrong …

I closed my eyes and waited for the hungry walker. I was beyond fear and sane there was no hope left in me. It felt like forever before the geek knocked me over. I was relieved and full of anguish at the same time. But it wasn't moving or did it already kill me? Was I dead? I slowly opened my eyes to see the walker all-not-moving-dead over me. I heard someone calling. Fear took hold on me. Through my messy hair, which was glued to my face by my own blood, I saw two figures coming at me. I stood up in a rush and began to stumble backwards. Could it be Milton and Phillip? I thought I had been running for miles in the other direction. All the time I hoped Milton would bar Phillip from following me. I would never go back to this hell. I began to cry and ran. Did God hate me so much to pull me through this shit? I didn't believe in God but now I wished there was a God who would sent Angels to save me from this living hell.

Someone grabbed me from behind and we fell to the ground. My head met the ground and I heard the sound of nose-cracking. I was lying on my stomach, someone on my back. "No!" I screamed and tried to push the person away from me. But that someone grabbed my wrist. I wondered why they would touch me softly like that instead of beating me. I fought back, struggled. "Ella!?" The person on my back turned me carefully around. Who was that … calling my name? "Calm down." Did I hallucinate my brother again? This was too real to be a voice in my head.

I looked up to the person on top of me, it was a man. He stood up slowly, never letting go off my wrist. "Oh my god." He spoke again. That voice … so familiar. "What happened to you?" He touched my face and freed my face from strands of hair. I tried to push myself away from the stranger and saw him clearly. "Daryl?" He pushed me softly to his chest. His body was warm and comfy. I closed my eyes and smiled, relaxing instantly. God must exist, sending me an angel to free my soul form a dead hell life. "I must be dead." He shifted and I felt a hand on my back. "Ya not dead!" I smiled to his chest. "Never mind, I'm already off." He stood up and took me into his arms. I felt his every move in my body. My bones were shattering with every move he made. I couldn't tell if he was running, flying or something else, but every movement tortured me. "Ella, stay awake!" I breathed in his muddy scent, it sure was Daryl. "No need to. Now I can finally rest."

I heard another voice. "Oh my god, is that really Ella?" Was it Glenn's voice? "Why are her hands cuffed? What happened to her body?" I remembered what was left of my shirt was just a fabric rag, hanging loose around my upper body. They must see my bra, my naked torso. But right now I didn't care. Daryl shifted me in his embrace, so my front clung to his chest. He had protected me from the walker and now he protected me to be seen half naked.

"Stay with me!" His voice was a relief to the pain I felt. But I couldn't keep the promise to stay awake. I already told this world goodbye and my will to live was long gone. At the end I was reunited with at least two members of my group. The one I had dreamed about and thought about the whole time. "Thank you." I whispered.

"Ya thank me when ya damn open your eyes!" His hard steady voice was pleading. "Open your eyes!" He screamed at me. But I drifted off to the Neverlands. Joining Peter Pan and the Lost Boys.

I woke up in a white dream. Everything was bright and shiny. I felt pure relief in me. No pain, but happiness rushed through me. I finally was with my family again, reunited with my beloved. I reached out my hand and someone took it. A soft hold. A smile escaped my lips. That must be heaven, even the touch felt warm and gentle. Someone was caressing my wrist, tracing the cuts on my arm. And there I saw my brother awaiting me.

"Ella, wake up. Please open ya eyes!" It was no pleading, just talking. The voice ruined my white dream and my eyes popped open. It was bright, but not white and shiny. It was dirty and I saw bars. I began to panic, couldn't breathe … But the hand holding my hand squeezed me softly. "Ya're safe!" My eyes wandered from the bars to the person sitting next to me. "Daryl?" His unreadable eyes tried to read mine.

"How ya feelin' bad ass?" I wanted to sit up, but he pushed me carefully into the mattress. "Don't move. Better lay down a little longer." I jerked when he touched me and he immediately pulled back his hands. There was another person, someone was standing behind the bars. From the corner of my eye I saw grayish white hair. I immediately pulled the blanket to my chin. "She just woke up." Daryl told the person and stood up. But at the sight of the bars and the stranger my heartbeat fastened. I grabbed for Daryl. "Don't leave!"

"Wasn't goin' to." He was about to push me back to the mattress, but I avoided his hands by leaning back. Daryl gave me a puzzled look and stepped back, so the old man could walk in. The man entered the cell and I began to quiver. I looked at the crutches he needed to walk. I felt Daryl's eyes on me. "What happened to ya?" Instead to answer I looked up and saw a smiling old man next to him. "Hello Ella. My name is Hershel. I am a doctor. Would you please let me check your wounds?" I didn't dare to move. I sat up stark and stiff. My heart beating faster and faster.

He slowly sat down where Daryl had sat before. "You must have been going through hell. All these wounds and cuts." I watched him examining my right arm. Then he turned to my other arm. For the first time I realized my left arm was strapped to my chest. I didn't feel my left arm at all when he touched it. My empty eyes followed every move he made. "Do you feel me touching your arm?" I answered by shaking my head. He pulled out a small needle and carefully pricked it on the top of every of my fingers. When he turned to my middle finger it hurt. I winced. "Good. So you are still feeling something here." His warm smile made me feel better. I felt like a grandfather was mollycoddling his grandchild.

"The useful finger!" I shot Daryl a look. He stood there joking … A stranger examined my wounds, helped me … I realized I wasn't dead. I was with Daryl. Suddenly I felt tears streaming down my face. Both man looked at me. I fought the tears back, didn't want to cry in front of them, but I couldn't stop the water breaking.

Two other persons appeared at the bars. A girl with short brown hair and a man. It was Glenn. "Ella!" He rushed into the cell. I whipped away the tears with the back of my right hand. "You're awake!" The brunette's eyes were wide in shock. "Oh my god." Glenn hugged me and I flinched. He pulled back, not noticing my reaction. He looked happy and vital. "You finally woke up." Finally? How long had I been knocked out? I looked behind him at the girl. So many faces, so many people at once in this small cell. Cell, bars … I felt my stomach turn. I felt like there was no air to breathe, nothing to hold on to. This was too much. I felt a black cloud over my head and everything went black. I could feel Glenn shaking me with great care, but it hurt my every bone. "Ella!" I heard their voices. "Will she be okay?" Was that Daryl's voice?

I felt a hand on my forehead, on my wrist. "Her body was torn to pieces. I don't know what she must have been through." It was the old man speaking, his voice had a warm tone.

"Dad, what are you talking about?" An unfamiliar voice. A girl. Maybe the one who came with Glenn.

"All the cuts and bruises. Someone must have tortured her. Elsewise …" He paused and sighed. "I couldn't explain all the wounds." His voice sounded sad and kind of shattering. "Someone carved MINE into her back and …" His voice failed to go on. I remembered Phillip cutting my back but I never knew he wrote something there. I was near edge.

"What?" It was Daryl again, his voice wrathful than ever. I heard wood burst asunder. Did he break something in this small cell? They saw my body … they saw it all …

"Calm down, don't wake her up. She needs to rest." It was the old man, Hershel. I heard moving, footsteps on the cement floor and the clung of his crutches. He must be exiting the cell.

"Oh my god." A woman's voice again. "Ella!" Did everybody who joined my little cell party have a password or what? Everyone used these three words when coming near me. I thought about to never look into a mirror ever again. "What happened to her?"

"Dunno!" Daryl was still here. I wanted to open my eyes, wanted to know if he was still there, but I was too weak to open my eyes or to move.

"Did she wake up?" The woman was still talking. Was it Lori, or Andrea or Carol? I couldn't tell.

"I few minutes ago, but passed out again." Daryl's words were short as always. Some things never change.

"All the bandages … what did Hershel say?"

"Cuts, bruises and broken arm." So my arm was broken. I never had any broken bones before.

Someone touched my face, I couldn't flinch, couldn't move. I didn't want to be touched at all. "Her face … she had been so pretty." My face? What was wrong with my face?

"You think she is ever gonna smile again?" Was that Carl's voice? I heard a baby scream. A baby? No that couldn't be … "Carl! Calm Judith down or she'll weak up Ella." Judith?

"She was always smiling at me, Carol." It must be Carl's voice, he sounded so grown-up. "She always smiled." So it was Carol I heard talking to Carl.

Was I dead? I couldn't react to their voices, couldn't move, and not even open my eyes. I just heard them talking until their voices faded away

I opened my eyes and looked around. It was dark, no voices, no one around. I sat up, realizing I was still in a cell. Did they imprison me too? The thought about being imprisoned again drove me crazy. But the cell door was open, I could escape. Looking down on me, my left arm was still strapped to my body. I wore a grey shirt I've never seen before. I threw back the sheet with just using my right hand and looked at my legs. I wore dark brown shorts I didn't remember wearing last time I looked down on me. I swung my legs over the edge of the bed. The thought of being in a prison killed me. I rose from the bed, my bare feet touching the cold floor. My legs hurt, but the pain was endurable, and I tried to walk. It was hard, but with my right hand at the wall steadying me, I moved on. I slowly walked to the open door of my cell and looked left, there was a dead end. I looked right: Bingo, an open door. I silently dragged myself out of my cell. I was walking along a corridor of cells realizing that I wasn't imprisoned, but we all were in a prison …

They all seemed to sleep in cells. I heard slow and even breathes and someone was snorting. At the end of the corridor I looked into a kind of huge kitchen/dinning room. Apples were on the table and my belly growled. I walked over to the table, taking an apple. While taking a bit, which tasted so good, I scanned the room and saw a door to my left. Maybe a way out. Ignoring the racking pains, I slowly walked to the door and opened it. It was still dark, but you could see the sun would rise soon. Behind the dark shadows of the tress the sky was lightly blue. I closed the door and leaned against the high walls of the prison exhaling in relieve. I couldn't believe they were living in a prison.

In front of me was a green yard where cars were parked … and a bike. I smiled. These were the same cars. They all were still together, everybody must be alive. I looked at the fences and the watchtowers. They were safe here. It was a bastion against the dead. I felt calmed and better.

I slid down the wall next to the door. The sun began to rise. Closing my eyes, I felt rays of sunlight warming up my face. "What the hell do ya think ya doin' out here?"

I opened my eyes and looked up at Daryl, who stood to my right. "Enjoying the sunup." I answered with a tired smile.

He sat down next to me. "How ya feelin'?" I closed my eyes again, soaking up the warmth of the sun. "Better I think …" I breathed again.

"Who did this to you?" He went like a bullet at a gate. I stood quiet. "Are they close?"

"Don't think so." I clenched my fist. They couldn't be close, they just had to be far far away.

"Ella!"

"Hm?!" I was growing tired. The days of being imprisoned had made me weak and my body ached for gaining strength through sleep.

"No one will ever do something like that to you ever again." His words were sharp and I looked at him. Through his shaggy hair his eyes were looking into mine. "No one will ever hurt you again." He told me again while all the memories came flashing back. The death of people I loved, the killing of my friends … "Promise?"

We still looked into each other's eyes and I felt a feeling long forgotten inside me. His blue piercing eyes were like an ocean of mysteries to me. Why did this man arose such feelings inside me? I realized he hadn't answered, but I didn't need him to, he had already said no one would ever hurt me again, that was enough. I rested my head on his shoulder. I would never have done that in the past, besides he would never have allowed someone to be so close. But I felt empty and needed to be near him to know I wasn't dreaming all of this. Daryl didn't protest and didn't sound angry. Had he changed? "I'm not lettin' anything like that happen to ya again." He sat there next to me … how could this be real? "I promise to never leave you on your own again."

I smiled. "Deal."

"Are you smiling again bad ass?" I could hear him smiling and I happily sighed. He still called me that name … In my dreams he called me Ella, so I wasn't dreaming, this was real …

I must have fallen asleep. When I opened my eyes the sun was already up. It was a sunny day, birds singing and it was warm. I felt like a happy nightmare was laughing at me, teasing me. I was waiting for the deathsman to wrest all this away from me, this just had to be a dream. I lifted my head from the pillow. Pillow? I was outside, how could there be a pillow. I wasn't imprisoned no more, I was outside, I was free?! The pillow was dark trousers. I looked up the torso, up the chest up to the face, to find Daryl looking at me. This was not a nightmare at all. "Sorry." I stammered.

"What for?" I couldn't read his blue eyes

"For falling asleep on you." I rested my back against the wall again. Was it a dream within a dream? Was I really finally reunited with my group? Yeah, you are finally home! But at what price …

I felt Daryl's eyes on me. If this really was a dream I enjoyed every second I had with Daryl. It was like seeing a friend from the past again. It felt normal to talk to him, normal to be around him. It felt good. I examined his whole appearance. One arm rested on his cocked knee, the other leg outstretched. It looked casual, but Daryl normally hadn't been that casual. I reached out for him, thinking he would disappear when I would touch him, but my fingertips met his skin and he was still there. I touched his face with my right hand. His expressions unchanged … small eyes, thin lips. I glanced at his lips, than into his eyes again. His hair had grown longer and I liked the way his eyes could hide behind it. It suited him well. My heartbeat fastened.

I had so many questions … Suddenly I could see questions in his eyes too. He would ask me where I had been, what had happened. I remembered him and the others talking in the cell about my wounds and bruises. They wanted to know what had happened … but I wasn't ready to talk about it. Would I ever be ready to talk about what happened? Don't shut down now.

My eyes wanderer over to the yard and to the fence. My heart stopped when I caught sight of wooden crosses. I stood up. I already felt healthier, better. I slowly started walking towards a little graveyard at the end of the green yard. While I walked over, pain rushed through me. It was not only the pain from my leg and arm, but mental pain. I heard some gnarling and low humming. I looked left and saw some dead bodies pressing themselves against the double-fence. At first I had thought this place was safe, but now that I saw graves again … I just knew there wouldn't be a safe place at all. My faith in finding real shelter and safety for the group diminished.

I sat down in front of the no-name crosses. They looked like the wooden crosses at the campsite. Andrea had told me Amy had died. So the cross with the bracelet really had been Amy's. Looking at the crosses in front of me I recognized these graves were newly dug. The ground looked freshly piled up. With my right hand I touched the grass beneath me slightly, it was so soft. Everything felt so unreal … the soft grass, the warm sun, the safety behind the fences … So far I had only met Daryl and Glenn again. I had heard Carols' and Carl's voices. I had seen strangers, old man Hershel and a brunette. I hadn't seen or heard Andrea, Rick or T-Dog, no Shane and no Dale. Were they all living in this prison together?

"This one is T-Dog's. He died while protectin' Carol." I heard Daryl talking behind me. He must have followed me down here. "This one is for Lori. She died while we were attacked. She had a baby, gave birth to a girl while dyin'. Carl shot her." Shocked I rested my head on my crocked knees, my eyes never leaving the crosses. Carl had shot his own mother? What world was this we were living in? But I knew the answer far too well, it was hell.

"At camp we lost Amy and Ed. The Morales family split, drove off to find family." I listened to his steady voice talking to me, recalling the past while tears filled my eyes. Amy's death hurt me more than I thought. "On the way to the CDC Jim died and short after did Jackie." I remembered Doc talking about a CDC, but we had never been there. If we would have driven there first, maybe I wouldn't have been going through hell.

"After the CDC exploded we lost Sophia on the highway and found shelter at a farm. Hershel's farm. There we lost Dale first, than Andrea and Shane." Andrea? No … Tears that had filled my eyes streamed down my cheeks. At least she was reunited with her sister.

"Is that why you never showed up on the highway?" What was I talking about … I had never showed up, why did I accuse him? Silence. I wanted to tell him, that it wasn't anybody's fault – Phillip had found me first – but I couldn't tell him what happened to me afterwards.

Daryl broke the silence first. "I didn't know Andrea met ya … didn't talk to her. But she told Lori. Me and Glenn were drivin' around." He paused. "Looked for ya, but didn't find any sign of ya." Out of the corner of my eye I could see his arm. It looked like he wanted to touch my shoulder, maybe to comfort me, but he hesitated and just stood there not acting at all.

"Not your fault." I finally said and clutched my legs with my right arm. "I never got the chance show up." I felt like I was only a shadow of my former self. So many people had died … Again I felt lost and above all I felt guilty.

So what do you think? I hope you enjoied reading and no worries it s getting better ;o)