WARNING: I'm exhausted and this chapter is way longer than I was ready for. So it's very much in the spirit of 'We die like men', that I am posting this chapter. By which of course, I mean the men in Star Wars who scream that iconic scream as they are thrown off ledges.
Special thank yous to the few people reviewing on Fanfic dot net, and some many thank you to the many people reviewing on AO3. I will respond to each one I just need more time.
Chapter 19 - Words Fail
Jango watched the Jetii open his eyes, and even with Obi-Wan's pulse steadying beneath his hand, he still waited for the Senator's confirmation.
Mace swallowed visibly as he sat up, "He'll make it, we should still get him medical care."
"Why?" Jaster asked as Jango pulled Obi-Wan into his arms.
"Because he just used enough power to take down several skyscrapers and attempted to disconnect them from his body. Depending on how his brain processes that, he may or may not go into shock or drop into a coma," Mace explained, as he collected the extra lightsabers.
"Will he be okay?" the Zabrak boy Obi-Wan had found asked.
"Yes," Jango growled.
"Come," Jaster said to the foundling.
Those golden eyes widened, "What?"
Jaster gestured to the body, "He was your only guardian? Do you have a home to go back to?"
The boy hesitated before saying, "I- I don't want to."
"Then you may come with us," Jaster said, moving them all forward. "What is your name?"
"Maul," the boy answered.
"I am Jaster Mereel, he is Jango Fett, and-"
"Senator Mace Windu, he's a Jedi," Maul said with a sneer of anger that overcame his apparent fear.
Jango had never related more to the sentiment of hating the Jedi in that moment. Of course, he knew without the Jetiiese Obi-Wan would have died.
It didn't make him feel better.
They moved swiftly through the streets, and by the time they reached the Salvation Depa had their guess settled in.
Jango adored his ship, but it wasn't a particularly large vessel and all these people made it a tight fit.
Maul stuck close to Jaster, clearly not interested in the Jedi.
Jango allowed Jaster to fly his ship to Kashyyyk as he tended to Obi-Wan, hooking him up to a breathing unit and an I.V..
It was strange seeing him so still. Obi-Wan had received numerous injuries and earned numerous scars over the years, but nothing dropped him for long. He tried not to think about what was waiting for them at the Jetii Temple. Fear turned in his gut at the thought that Obi-Wan —no matter what Mace claimed— might choose the Jedi.
He didn't sleep as the hours passed, and everyone was wise enough not to talk to him.
When they came out of hyperspace, the green-blue planet came into focus.
More green and blue than Mandalore was, though once their own planet had nearly been as green.
Most of it hadn't survived their wars.
He could only hope that Obi-Wan would.
Obi-Wan knew he dreamed, knew because Cody sat with him in the garden outside the Mandalore court house.
Obi-Wan greeted him in Mando'a.
Cody smirked down at him and responded in the same language, "You're a cute kid, General."
Obi-Wan rolled his eyes, "I'm not a kid."
"Sure you are, you have more anger issues than General Skywalker and more raging hormones than Commander Tano."
"Not fair."
Cody raised a brow, "Life isn't fair."
"How are you even here?" Obi-Wan griped, because this wasn't a memory of his past or his once future.
He could also sense Cody's signature in the Force.
Cody reached out a hand and ruffled his hair, "The Force is a part of everyone, Alor'ika."
Obi-Wan blinked fast, "How can you possibly forgive me?"
Cody brought their foreheads together in a Keldabe, "There is nothing to forgive."
Obi-Wan let out a long breath, knowing it would be a long time before he could possibly accept that. "Sometimes I feel like I've taken your place, and other times… I always got the impression you disliked Jango Fett and I'm betraying you somehow."
Cody pulled back leaning back on his hands in the lush grass. "You're taking Boba's place, not mine, not anyone in the GAR, but you are right about one thing; I hated Jango."
"Past tense?" Obi-Wan inquired.
"Do you hate Darth Vader?" Cody asked. "Barriss Offee, Asajj Ventress, Darth Maul?"
Obi-Wan wasn't sure what to say to that except, "I will find Anakin, and Palpatine is dead."
"Jango Fett is not the man he would have been. I hate that he abandoned us, that he helped enslave us, and the only one out of all us, he only chose one to call his son, to treat as a real person. But that man is not your Buir. He hasn't lost his morality or principles. He's still a killer, but he cares more about the future of your people, of you than he does about revenge."
"So you forgive, just like that."
Cody smiled, "When I return to the world, General, things will not be the same, and I will no longer carry the scars I did."
Obi-Wan smiled back, "I can't wait to meet you again."
Cody touched his cheek, "They are waiting for you, Alor'ika. Remember, you are not the man you were before, you needn't hold onto your guilt when you have some much to live for."
Again, Cody lowered his forehead to his, "We will meet again, Vod'ika."
Obi-Wan came awake with a start, he coughed as the strange smell of tried bacta hit his nose. He was sitting up and in moments he had ripped off the breathing mask and IV.
Which incurred his buir's wrath as he got in Obi-Wan's face and growled as he put a clean gauze to his arm where he had ripped the needle out.
Obi-Wan relaxed.
If Jango was growling at him about needles, he was safe.
"Vor entye, Buir," Obi-Wan thanked, the words literally translating to 'I accept a debt.'
Jango snarled, "You best believe your debt. What in the kriffing hells were you thinking? If you ever do that to me again—" he cut his words off.
Obi-Wan could feel his Buir's frustration, his agitation, but above all else, fear.
His heart twisted and once Jango finished putting a basic patch on the minor self-inflicted injury, he threw his arms around Jango's neck and said with feeling, "N'eparavu takisit, Buir."
I'm sorry, Father.
Jango wrapped his arms around Obi-Wan, enfolding him in a crushing embrace.
Jango's relief, his love, radiated from him, and Obi-Wan selfishly wrapped that feeling in the Force around himself.
It felt so good to be open to the Force, even if his shields were ragged and the Dark Side encroached on the edges of his awareness.
It was like seeing in colour, like losing your sense of smell and then being able to scent desserts, it was like breathing free when you had been trapped to a ventilator for years.
Jango held onto him for a long time but it was still too soon when he pulled back, taking Obi-Wan's hands in his, shaking them slightly.
The Force seemed giddy as it translated what Jango was so clearly broadcasting.
His buir didn't want to shake his hands, he wanted to shake sense back into Obi-Wan.
But that type of sense was something Obi-Wan had given up a long time ago.
"What were you thinking?" Jango asked, catching his gaze with dark eyes.
"I don't particularly like the medical wing," Obi-Wan said, evading his real question.
Jango squeezed down on his hands, "The Dar'Jetii, Obi'ika."
Obi-Wan shook his head, "What happened to Maul?"
His buir knew he was a Jetii, knew he had been lying, and had brought him back to the Temple on Kashyyyk.
Obi-Wan had never been here in this lifetime, but he could sense the trees beyond these walls, the swirl of the oceans and rivers like heart's blood flowing through the planet. Then were the points of light scattered everywhere around him.
Stars burning bright, and would continue burning unmolested by Darth Sidious.
Obi-Wan knew he was distracting himself, knew he didn't want to have this conversation with Jango.
He could remember the words Mace had said to him, that he could be both Mandalorian and Jetii.
But Mace Windu did not speak for Jango Fett.
There were no guarantees that his buir or ba'buir would understand and forgive the deceptions.
"Why didn't you tell us you were a Jedi foundling?" Jango asked.
Obi-Wan sighed, looking away, his shoulders rounding.
Jango put an ungloved hand to his cheek and turned him back to look at him.
"Why, ner ad'ika?" Jango pressed.
Obi-Wan huffed a laugh, "As if you would have accepted me if I told you that."
Jango's jaw ticked, "Perhaps not immediately, we would have attempted to contact the Order-"
Obi-Wan's anger spiked and he tore out of Jango's grasp, "And risk a war? You couldn't have —the clan couldn't have— tolerated the Jedi being in the same space as them. If the Jedi had insisted, if I had asked you not to send me back— I wasn't of age, the Jedi were my legal guardians."
"You think that would have stopped us?" Jango growled. "If you hadn't wanted to go back, we would have-"
"Gone to war for?" Obi-Wan asked. "Yes, because that's what I wanted. To worsen Jetii and Mando relations."
"What did you want?" Jango asked.
The door to the room swished open and Master Che walked in, trailed by Bant.
Che didn't seem to have any reservations about getting into Jango's personal space.
Which seemed like a bad life choice.
But to Obi-Wan's surprise, Jango gave ground, moving to stand by Obi-Wan's side as Che gently looked over his vitals.
Che's voice was oddly hushed as she asked, "How are you feeling, Obi-Wan?"
She wasn't meeting his gaze, which seemed so unlike the experienced twi'lek.
"Master Che?" he asked cautiously.
Che stopped, taking a breath, she looked up to meet his eyes. Hers were blue, made bluer by her blue skin.
"Don't you ever," she threatened. "Fake your death again, young Padawan."
He blinked, "I'm not a Padawan."
Which probably wasn't the right thing to say but Master Che simply made a noncommittal sound, "We will see, young on. Now, how do you feel?"
Obi-Wan shrugged, "Pretty good, all things considered."
Jango growled in Basic, "You nearly died."
Obi-Wan shrugged again, "Thank you for killing Darth Sidious. What happened to Maul?"
Jango glowered at him, "Jaster adopted him, and he didn't want to come to the Jetii's place of power, so they left."
Obi-Wan flinched, not because he was against Maul being given a real chance, but because his ba'buir had left him behind.
Mace might have promised, but Jango hadn't agreed to any arrangement.
"You've been in a healing trance for a week," Master Che said. "You are not cleared to leave the Temple for another month, Padawan Kenobi." She gave Jango a look and the Mandalorian bowed his head in acquiescence.
Was Jango going to leave him here?
"Kenobi?"
Obi-Wan turned his attention to Bant Eerie, a Bant who had been in his creche, but in this lifetime, had never known him well.
"Hi, Bant."
She narrowed her silver eyes at him, "How could you betray the Order?"
Obi-Wan flinched back from her.
You betrayed me! Anakin's words echoed in his mind.
The Force rang with his fear, the darkness rising like a hound offered a treat.
"Get out!" Jango roared at Bant at the same time Che chastised, "Padawan Eerie!"
But Bant had already started running for the door.
For a moment, Obi-Wan had seen himself through her eyes.
An outsider.
A monster.
The ringing danger he and Jango radiated in the Force.
His own darkness.
Obi-Wan didn't belong here and Jango wasn't going to take him back either.
Unshed tears burned his eyes.
He had saved his people, both the Mandalorians and the Jedi.
And in the process lost them both.
It was better than losing them to death and war. But Obi-Wan was exhausted and the thought that he would be cast back into the galaxy alone and without purpose, was more overwhelming than the Darkness that beckoned to him.
Che touched him and he nearly jumped out of his skin, "Do not take it to heart, Obi-Wan, your funeral was traumatic for many."
Obi-Wan didn't have the words to make up for what he had done.
"Rest," Che said, exchanging a look with Jango, who once again nodded.
Once she left, Jango sighed.
Obi-Wan found himself studiously studying his hands. He might have been in a coma for days upon days, but he was so tired.
So very tired.
Jango touched his head, "We can talk later, Obi'ika but we will talk."
Obi-Wan risked a glance, and Jango's worry had clearly overcome what else he had been feeling.
Jango guided him back down on the bed, "Rest."
Obi-Wan allowed himself to be tucked in, and with the exhaustion, he fell into sleep as he closed his eyes, but with the Dark singing to him, he saw nothing but nightmares.
It was no less than he deserved for the pain he had caused the people he loved.
"How is he?" Mace asked.
Jango sat tensely at Obi-Wan's side, he was grateful that the Jetii didn't push to do the same, but he still visited daily.
They hadn't talked. In fact, the only person Jango had spoken to was the healer.
But now that Obi-Wan had woken, he knew he was just delaying the inevitable.
"You intend to take him from me, don't you?" Jango asked.
Mace raised a brow as he took the seat beside Jango, "He needs help."
Jango gritted his teeth, "What does that mean?"
"I made Obi-Wan promise."
"What did you promise him?" Jango asked drily.
"It would require your consent," Mace hedged.
Jango raised a brow back at the Jetii, waiting.
Mace sighed, "I am stepping down from Senator of Coruscant. I would like Obi-Wan to become my Padawan, even if that means leaving the Order and joining your clan. Of course that would require your blessing."
Jango let out a long breath, hope fluttering in his chest that Obi-Wan could have both and remain with both.
"In the vein of transparency, I would willingly work for your Order if that meant I didn't have to be separated from him. He's fifteen, legally, he needs no guardian, but he-" he sighed, words failing him. "He gives too much, I don't trust him to take care of himself."
"You love him," Mace said.
"Is that against your Code?" Jango sneered.
Mace shook his head, "Against the Code, no, old traditions, but traditions evolve. I believe that Obi-Wan is capable of balancing intimate relations and remaining within the Light."
"I thought you said he had fallen?" Jango asked, narrowing his eyes.
"The Light remains a part of him, he needs help finding his way back on solid ground, or he will continue to be a danger to himself and others. That doesn't make him a bad person."
Jango's lips thinned, "Che's Padawan upset Obi-Wan."
"How?" Mace asked.
"She said he had betrayed them."
"Bant was eight years old when Obi-Wan disappeared. We do warn our younglings about Mandalorians and losing a youngling… it does not happen. When we lose a Padawan, it is a tragedy and a rarity. But an Initiate? No, to lose a crechemate is a traumatic thing, we do not teach our younglings to be detached."
"When do you start teaching them to not care about their aliit?"
Mace smiled, "We teach them to extend the compassion and love they have for their crechmates and Master to the greater Order and to have compassion for all life."
Jango blinked, "That's… stupid. Do you know how many things in the galaxy would love to get their hands on a trained Force sensitive?"
"Better than you," Mace said. "Why do you think we train all our younglings to use a lightsaber? Because they're pretty?"
Jango could, begrudgingly, respect that. "That does explain why she called him a traitor, nor why her words hurt him so badly."
Mace sighed, "He lied to the Order and became a Mandalorian, ancient enemies of the Jedi."
Jango's heart ached, "He won't be welcomed here, will he?"
Mace smiled, "Obi-Wan always had trouble with his crachemates. He excelled fast and was able to grasp complicated theories quicker than his agemates. He was also Yoda's favourite."
"Great, so you all didn't help him with that?" Jango asked.
Mace huffed a laugh, "We can't choose his friends for him. He would grown closer to them in time. But you've already met Obi-Wan's best friend. He and Quin were inseparable, and he had friends among the older members of our Order. We are a community, a people, who a Jedi makes friends with is not restricted by age."
"Any luck discovering who Cody is?" Jango asked.
Mace shook his head, "What else can you tell me about him."
Jango opened his mouth to respond, but Mace held up a hand.
Jango bared his teeth, but Obi-Wan stirred a moment later.
"Obi'ika," Jango greeted.
Obi-Wan blinked up at him, his eyes a grey.
"Greetings, Padawan," Mace said. Then the Senator smiled. "You look surprised."
Obi-Wan rubbed his eyes as he sat up, "To see you two in a room together, yeah, that's surprising."
"And why is that, Obi'ika?"
Obi-Wan smiled and looked away, "Funny twist of fate."
Jango frowned, he was so done with Obi-Wan's secrets, "He helped get the scientists to safety."
Obi-Wan stared at them, "Mace helped you?"
Jango grimaced at the amused smugness in his ad'ika's tone, "He was an asset."
Obi-Wan tried to hold it back, he really did try, but the image of Mace decapitating Jango flitted through his mind.
It should have been a sobering thought, but a part of him would always believe that what Jango had done to the clones, or rather not done for them, was a crime worthy of death.
His dream of Cody considering them different people only distanced that other Jango as not his buir.
Jango just wasn't that person, still possibly the deadliest man in the galaxy, but not driven by hate and revenge.
No, what drove his buir now was his love and hope for his people.
What made it funny was that when his buir admitted someone had helped him it was usually something dire. So the sheer kriffing irony of Mace Windu being the one to save Jango Fett was far too much.
"Ad'ika, you best not be laughing at me," Jango growled.
Obi-Wan broke, rolling onto his side laughing helplessly. Jango glared down at him for a minute before smirking and said in Mando'a, "I'll give you a reason to cry, Obi'ika."
Then his buir tortured him, going straight for the sides of his torso. Obi-Wan was still too tired to fight him off, so he did his best to curl around himself as he forgot how to breathe through peels of laughter.
When Jango finally let up, Obi-Wan was breathless. Jango was sitting beside him with a smile that seemed strained at the edges.
His buir leaned back to hit the button on the shades.
Obi-Wan turned and gaped at the view before him. The new Temple of Kashyyyk was built on the ocean's edge. The water was dark, the clouds thick with rain. It reminded him of Kamino, only kinder, more full of life. Even from the window, he could see the branches of trees stretching their arms out as if to taste the ocean's salty tears.
"Padawan Kenobi," Mace called his attention away from the view. "It is time we talk."
All the mirth was sucked out of him.
Which is why when his buir leaned over to the side table and passed him a cantine he had never been more grateful.
The tea would be on his side of the conversation.
It was also why, when his buir asked, "Why did you join our clan?"
Obi-Wan answered him.
"The Force showed me the fate of our peoples. The Senate was part of the Death Watch's treachory and sent the Jedi to kill our clan, the True Mandalorians. They killed almost everyone and you killed a few Jedi in turn. It caused Master Dooku to become a Sith and it led you too… well, you were out for revenge. With Adonai and Tor lose… the ruined Mandalore, eventually, the Order was destroyed too. Knowing that, I knew that I had to change things."
Jango looked like he had a lot of questions, but he begin with, "The Jetiiese killed Jaster?"
"No," Obi-Wan said. "I'm pretty sure that it was Montross, seeing as you were the leader of the True Mandalorians by the time the Jedi got involved."
Jango's eyes widened, "That's how you knew-"
Obi-Wan shook his head, "No, I knew who was because in my time he hunted Jedi. I didn't place the event until I heard his name. We called it the Slaughter of the Seeker, because he murdered Master Feemor and the younglings with him."
Jango blinked, "You based attacking one of the most dangerous Mandalorians on a mystical vision?"
Obi-Wan frowned at him, "One, I was correct, two, he ripped ade apart at the limbs, and three, I was able to profile him in about two hours of holo searches. Also, why are you upset about that? I saved Jaster."
Jango tightened his fists, "I care because you were eleven years old."
Mace finally spoke up, "Those sound like very… detailed visions, Obi-Wan."
His shoulders rounded and he took a sip from the tea.
He didn't want to explain the time travel, he didn't know how to explain it. It would be easier to pass it off as visions.
But in his haste to answer Jango honestly, he had exposed himself to Mace's scrutiny.
Jango seemed to catch on to this because he came at another angle, "Where did you learn to fight in wars before returning to Stewjon, the Jedi claim they don't train soldiers?"
Obi-Wan looked toward Mace for help and was perfectly unsurprised to find Mace waiting for the same with zero pity.
Kark, Mace and Jango were going to tag team him.
Motherkriffar.
Despite dabbling in the Dark Side, there was nothing really grey about Mace. He had hard and clear limits, and although he respected candour he never trusted that anyone was how they appeared.
"I don't know how to explain it in a way that would make sense to you," Obi-Wan said.
It was the wrong thing to say and Obi-Wan flinched at the furious expression on his buir's face. Yet, Jango's voice remained calm, calm-ish, "Try that again, ner ad'ika."
Obi-Wan backtracked, "I don't mean you're not smart enough, I just don't know how to explain in a way that isn't creepy or- um… In a way that you'll believe me and understand what I mean. I think even the Jetiiese would have a hard time believing…" He flinched at Mace's scrutiny. Obi-Wan soldiered on, "The theory is possible, there are documented cases and legends but it's really improbable and most think it's just stories."
Jango looked like if he could kill the concept of religion and theoretical philosophy, he would and he would enjoy doing it.
"You are going to have to tell us one way or the other," Mace reasoned.
A thought crossed Jango's expression and he asked, "Does this have to do with losing your memories, ner ad'ika?"
Jango must have been talking with Jaster, which was normal.
Obi-Wan gave him a relieved look, and he didn't miss that his buir kept using familiar titles to stake claim on him in front of the Jedi.
It was funny, especially as his being taken back into the Order, no matter what Mace promised, had lesser probability than a snow ball's chance on Mustafar.
"You've been losing your memories," Mace asked worriedly. "Dignioused amnesia? Head injury?"
"No, not like that, I just have so much more to lose now. I mean from the time you and I spent that day together, before I had that seizure."
"The Force can give you seizures?" Jango asked, his anger shining through when he could direct at something rather than Obi-Wan.
He appreciated the effort.
"Buir, the Force has done a lot worse to me than that, but it was the kyber crystal not directly the Force. Anyway, I remember that space of time like I'm supposed to, its real memories, but everything else? It's like I know what happened, and I remember a lot of practical things but more like a book I've studied than something I lived. The military stuff was easy, the trauma of it. I knew who I lost, remembering what my decisions cost us, those are things that are easy to remember.
"For instance, I can speak nearly two dozen languages. The textbook stuff, the math, the maps, landscapes, terrains, all of the tactical, I can recall almost instantly. But my Jedi training? I can't remember how it felt, how to wield the Force like I used to. I don't know how to apply our philosophies to the metaphysics. I can't remember that, I can't remember faces or names too well unless I have a recent vision of them.
"They are just characters in a holodrama to me now, people I know I should love, and a handful I still do, but mostly those connections meaningless to me."
Jango shook his head, "You were eleven, how many people could you have met, how can you remember planets, battlefields, and languages when you never left that kriffing Temple?"
Mace backed him up, "I know your classes, Obi-Wan, I taught them. Those skills are ones you had not possessed before."
Obi-Wan supposed it was time to bite the baster ray. It came out rough, "I have a lot of visions."
Two very unimpressed faces observed him.
"About the future," Obi-Wan finished lamely.
Jango lost his patience and Obi-Wan was sort of awed he lasted this long.
"What does that change?" his buir pressed. "What does it matter that you are losing your memories of visions? Surely you don't think you're a prophet?
"No," Obi-Wan said, taking in a bracing breath before saying it plainly. "I don't think that, but I do know that I am a time traveller."
There was a long silence.
Jango just stared at him as if he was waiting for the punchline. When Obi-Wan held firm, he looked to Mace.
Mace shrugged, "Very improbable. But when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth."
Jango was furious, "Who in the Jetii hells came up with that patronising proverb."
"Jedi Master Canon Doyle," Mace said, taking the question at face value.
Jango glowered at him.
"Why did you cut yourself off from the Force?" Mace asked, ignoring the enraged Mandalorian.
Obi-Wan sighed, "A few reasons. I began having problems almost immediately. I was a Master Jedi in the body and with the mind of an eleven-year-old initiate. I had all the connection of a Master Jedi to the Force, but not the control or the menal development to handle that power. I noticed my memories fading, so who I was no longer who I am or who I would have been. Once I was on my own away from the Temple, enough of my memories had faded that aside from shielding, I didn't know how to handle the Force. Not without help."
There was sympathy in Mace's eyes, but he didn't hold back on his questions, "But why cut yourself off from it? You must have known, have felt yourself being pushed toward the darkside."
Obi-Wan didn't want to tell him, but with his memories fresh in his mind… he needed to tell someone, and Mace would understand better than Jango in this.
"I time travelled from almost a year into a galactic civil war. Things were not pleasant. People were dying, Jedi, my troops, and so many, many innocents. I thought I could change things for the better. When I killed Montross, I thought I had that power. I didn't enjoy hiding my powers, but the Force was with me."
"So what changed?" Mace asked.
"The nightmares," Jango said, his voice hushed.
Obi-Wan nodded, "The Force showed me beyond what I had lived. I saw a future beyond…"
He didn't want to say, and for once, Jango and Mace didn't hurry him along.
Obi-Wan had been wiling to face death, surely he had the strength to face his failure. "We played into the Sith's traps, and it destroyed everything. Mandalore was plunged back into ruin, the Temple was destroyed, the Jedi eradicated. We were hunted into extinction, us and the Mandalorians. The Republic became an Empire, and the Sith would allow no one to live who could challenge them."
"Fear of this future turned you against the Force?" Mace asked.
Obi-Wan bowed his head and squeezed the truth out, "It was my fault."
Jango made a harsh sound and nearly yelled, "Not everything is about you, Obi'ika! A galactic war is not your doing!"
Obi-Wan leaned away from him, partially because he wanted to feel Jango's anger as his own, but mostly from shame. "You don't understand, I was at the heart of all of it."
"It wasn't your fault!" Jango argued stubbornly.
Obi-Wan's own irritation rose hot in him, "It was my fault! I was on Mandalore during the clan wars. I was the one who begin the damn war on Geonosis, I forced the Republic's hand. It was my fault! My fault my Master died! My fault that A-"
He choked on the name his heart bleeding.
I hate you!
Obi-Wan had forgotten so much, lost so much, but he could never forget his love for Anakin. He couldn't forget his Padawan burning on the shore of a river lava. Burning, limbless, and him Obi-Wan, leaving him there.
"Qui-Gon Jinn was your first Master," Mace guessed correctly.
Obi-Wan nodded.
"If he was your senior his death couldn't have been your fault," Jango said.
Obi-Wan shook his head, "You don't understand."
"Stop telling me that," Jango snapped. "Just because your magic gives nightmares teeth, it doesn't mean they are true. At least not how you perceive them to be."
Jango was having such a hard time not just taking Obi-Wan and flying as far from this place and these people as he could.
"My Padawan became a Sith!" Obi-Wan yelled at him.
If there was one thing Jango hated, it was eating his own words. Because the look on the Senator's face told him that Jango didn't understand.
But he tried to say, "Your son?"
Obi-Wan made a pained sound, "My brother. Buir, I failed him in every conceivable way."
"So you lost faith in the Force?" Mace asked.
Obi-Wan huffed a watery laugh, "I failed as Jedi. I knew that fighting the Force would backfire."
"Then why do it?" Jango growled.
Obi-Wan averted his eyes.
Jango knelt before him, taking the forgotten tea from his hands and putting it on the side table.
"Obi'ika." he warned.
Obi-Wan's voice was quiet enough so the others couldn't hear. "The Jedi Order didn't want me last time. No one did, not even the Master who reluctantly accepted me. I was only promoted because I was good at waging war, no one actually wants me as a Jedi Knight. I didn't want anything to do with them."
On the one hand, it felt like a victory. Jango might have spooked Obi-Wan into feeling like he needed to hide, but it would seem that was partly due to his upbringing in the Order. Which meant it was likely Obi'ika wouldn't leave him or their clan.
Ha, take that you smug bastards.
But on the other hand, Obi-Wan still needed help with his gifts which meant Jango would have to defend the karking space wizards.
Kark everything.
"But why do that if you knew it would hurt you? You knew we took Koska to Kashyyyk. I know I made that joke in poor taste, but why limit yourself? Why give up?"
"Because, we were winning. The Order changed so much, I knew they wouldn't fall into the Sith's traps. Mandalore was stabilised and if the worse happened, I had safeguards in place to reveal the identity of the Sith Master to you. We killed Senator Palpatine, everything I could possibly do, I did."
Jango grit his teeth, "No, Obi'ika, it is not enough. You are a child."
"I wasn't always," Obi-Wan argued. "I've had my second chance, the galaxy can going on without me and everything will be okay."
"It will not be okay," Jango growled.
Obi-Wan shook his head stubbornly, "Don't you get it? I am not who I was or who I would have become. I don't know how old I am. I don't know who I want to be and a part of me is constantly terrified it will happen again; that I will fail again and everything will have been pointless!"
Jango cupped Obi-Wan's face in his hands, "You look at me, you are not going anywhere. I know who you are," Jango tapped his temple, then his heart then offered his hand out in a gesture of love unconditional.
"You are my son who is beyond extraordinary, who is as kind as you are intelligent. But no matter how gifted you are, you're still just a teenager." Jango brushed away the stray tears with his thumbs. "You are angry and scared and despite all that you know you are lost, and that is natural Obi'ika. But you are not alone. You might not recall feeling this way last time because you were safer, because you had an aliit you were secure with and a power you did not cut yourself off from.
"But you are not alone."
Obi-Wan looked at him, speechless, until he managed, "You forgive me for the deceptions? You're not exiling me from the clan?"
"I am angry," Jango said. "I am angry with myself that I didn't make you feel safe enough to be yourself around us. I am angry with you because your decisions harmed you. But there is nothing you could ever do to change the fact that we are aliit and you are ner ad'ika. Our alor'ika."
Obi-Wan's eyes turned a flawless blue.
"I made you a promise," Mace cut in.
Jango's hand flinched as he fought not to reach for his primary blaster.
Obi-Wan looked at the Senator, and Jango pulled back to let the two have their moment.
Jango loved all of his son, and that, regrettably meant, accepting the Jetiiese into their clan.
Mace stood and asked with strange formality, "I had planned to ask you this when you returned from Stewjon."
Obi'ika found his voice, "I am not the same person I was that. I am a Mandalorian. I will not leave my aliit as long as I welcome among them."
"You always will be," Jango said in Mando'a.
Which earned him a partial smile turned his way.
Mace bowed his head, "As I promised, I will not make you choose between us. You are both Mandalorian and Jedi."
Obi-Wan watched the older Jetii with breath held, tear tracks still damp on his face. No matter what memories Obi-Wan had, Jango knew he was a teenager in truth. And regardless, no one ever stopped needing a family.
Hearing that Obi'ika had saved Jaster was a chilling thought. Jango didn't know who he would be without his buir at his back over the course of the war.
Mace asked, "Obi-Wan Kenobi, will you honour me in becoming my Padawan."
Obi-Wan blinked back tears, "Yes, Master Windu."
Jango heart twisted in how those words sounded less like acceptance and more like a plea for help.
AN: Thoughts, genets, or feedback, pretty please?