hey guys, sorry for the - damn, very much too - late update! Had a lot trouble the last days ... Well but here it is, the next chapter. Tada!

We had packed the car as full as possible. There was still a lot food and water left, we would comeback as soon as possible. Daryl closed the bunker and we went back to the car.

"Are ya sick?" He said to me.

"No." Why did he ask? I didn't feel sick at all. I looked at him and saw him suppressing a smile.

"Cause ya all green in the face!" I stopped while he went on to the car. Did Daryl Dixon just made a joke about me? My lips turned into a smile.

When we were sitting in the car again, Daryl sat next to Glenn in the front. I didn't mind but Maggie seemed really pissed. I didn't want her to be mad at Daryl, it was my fault he was here … I felt a pang in my heart. My fault … suddenly I was scarred something could happen to my friends. On the last run it had been my fault that my friends got killed … No! I would never let that happen again, I would be stronger and protect my friends. Don't drive yourself crazy. They all can handle themselves. My brother soothed me. I looked at Daryl who was talking to Glenn. He was so much stronger than everyone else in our group, he would always protect us. In the beginning he didn't give a shit about this group, but now … even he didn't want anyone to think of him highly – only god knew why – he was taking care of the group.

I needed to distract me from all the black thoughts and turned to Maggie. "Hey Mag, the shower in the house was off. No water."

Maggie laughed at me. "I wasn't talking about an actual shower like in your living-in-the-past-brain. We live in apocalyptical times, all has changed." She looked to Glenn who had a mischievous smile on his lips as well. "You'll see!"

We drove on. It was the same way we drove before. But on the next crossroads Glenn turned left instead of right. He drove almost half an hour, turning left and right, when he stopped at a gate. Behind the gate was a trail which led into a forest. Through the trees I could see light, there must be a clearing behind the rows of trees. We exited the car and Maggie took her backpack out of the trunk. "Come one, I'll show you the place!" She was just talking to me, ignoring the men. We went on, while the guys followed us slowly.

I could already imagine were she would take me. I thought about the lake at our camp. As always my thoughts went back to Amy. At the lake she had taught me how to fish and on the other day Amy, Andrea and me had been fishing together. It had been so much fun.

"There we are!" Maggie stopped me. We were standing on top of a hill, to our feet a lake. To my right side was a small river which crushed down into the lake. It looked like in a movie, I was stunned.

"Wow!" I starred at the beautiful scenery and felt totally out of place. I was dirty and injured while the place looked so whole and shiny.

Glenn elbowed me. "Isn't it great?!" The gesture hurt, my rips still hurt. Damn it, I wasn't in that good shape I had hoped I was. But I'll be fine in a few days, I told myself.

"Yeah. It's beautiful!" I replied. Maggie took my arm and we walked down to the lake. She turned to the men. "You check the surroundings!" Her order was clear: No men. I smiled and looked back. Daryl's and my eyes met but then he turned left while Glenn went right.

When we reached the lake's shore Maggie put down her bag. "I have shampoo and towels." I looked to the small waterfall where Daryl and Glenn had stood before. Maggie must have wanted to go here with Glenn all alone and enjoy some quality time. While she unpacked the bag I looked over the lake. It looked untouched from the walking dead, like a magical place.

"Have you been here before?" I asked her.

"Yeah. Glenn and I go here almost after every run. So we safe water in the prison." She didn't look up to me.

"I am sorry." Now I got her attention. "You wanted some privacy … some time with Glenn alone …"

She stood up and touched my shoulder softly. She looked me in the eyes and I felt her looking into my inner soul. "Nothing to feel sorry about. I am happy you are here with us!"

"Thanks …" I stumbled. She nodded and turned to the lake. "Come on!" She took of her trousers and shirt until she stood there in her underwear. "Don't be prude!" She laughed and jumped into the water. I starred after her. "Don't forget to bring the shampoo." I blushed about her behavior and began to undress myself slowly. It was hard to have just one useable arm, but I didn't want to ask her for help. I needed to be able to do it on my own. First I stepped out of my shoes and took my knife out of my right boot to stab it into the earth next to my shoes. I struggled out of my trousers which was quite easy. But trying to get out of my shirt I grew frustrated. I untightened the strap around my left shoulder and my arm fell limp to my side. I tried to move it, but couldn't. With my right hand I took of my shirt, realizing I was almost naked. Oh my god, she could see my body, by skin … my scars. But Maggie was in the lake, from where she was she couldn't see my scars. Afraid she would ask about the scars, I took the shampoo and went into the water as fast as possible. It wasn't as cold as I expected it to be. The water felt fresh. I was happy to finally bath, to free my body from dirt, blood and unwelcomed memories. I went further into the lake towards Maggie. I didn't swim like her, I made my way to her by walking on the sandy ground.

"May I wash your hair?" Maggie swam to me and I submerged deeper into the water, even my mouth was under water. "Everything okay?" I didn't want her to see me. Breathing through my noose and I nodded.

"Give me the shampoo. I'll help you!" I handed her the shampoo. "Is your left arm still not okay?" I shook my head. "Maybe it is because your arm is always strapped to your body, maybe if you won't wear the strap your arm would get used to the fact that it is needed." She began to water my head and washed my hair.

"How was your quality time with Daryl?" She emphasized the word 'your' when she used my words. I would have blushed but it felt good to be in the water. I always had loved swimming and diving. I was totally relaxed.

"I don't know what you mean!" I closed my eyes as I felt her hands working through my hair. "We were stuck in a bunker." I tried to say with a steady and rational voice.

"Yeah sure and nothing happened?!" It was funny she was talking all girly, like we had been friends a long time ago. We had known each other a few weeks and she already felt like a sister to me.

"Maybe something would have happened if he wouldn't be all Daryl …" I laughed but remembered the moment he touched my back and I had heard his heartbeat as clear as a well-known-song. She stopped doing my hair and I opened my eyes.

"What could have happened?" She said curiously.

"Don't know …" I couldn't tell her that I longed for his embrace, his lips … Suddenly something stroke my leg. "Maggie, that's not funny."

"What?" Her inquiring eyes looked at me.

"You touched my leg." I told her and again I felt something at my leg.

"No I didn't!" She protested, her voice growing loud. "Maybe a fish. Glenn and I fished here before!"

I straightened my back under the water and looked at her. She was close but too far away to touch my leg. Something grabbed my leg softly. "I think there is something in the water." I could see the same conclusion in her eyes. Suddenly a head came to the surface. We both shrieked and tried to get to the shore as fast as we could. Maggie was way faster than me, swimming like an athlete. The ground of the lake was sandy and moldy, so I couldn't ran very fast. Again something looped around my leg and drew me under water. The murky water made it almost impossible to see clear. I kicked into nothing and tried to get to the surface. Someone grabbed me and pulled me to the light. Maggie stood above me, her knife raised. I ran through the water to get my knife as well. When I turned around Maggie was still in the water searching for that something that pulled me down. She really had an athlete's body, thin and fine muscles. I admired her for her good looks until I realized she was just wearing her bra and thong. I turned pink.

A sound of wood cracking made me turn around to face the trees behind me. A zombie came out of the woods, his arms outstretched. "Maggie." I said in a low but loud voice to not attract more walkers. I didn't know if she heard me and didn't dare to turn around to leave my back unattended. I stepped out of the water and approached the walker. I felt the water drooping from my skin and the cold air touching my bare body. The walker attacked me but I sliced its outstretched arms and it fell to the ground. I felt its blood splashing on me. It was still warm, he had turned not long ago. I immediately went down next to it to push my knife into its head. I looked at the young man under me, becoming aware he had been once a human being. I could still see his human features, his manly face.

Another wood-cracking-sound was heard and two male walkers were standing almost next to me. They were so fast, one of the walkers reached for me and I rolled myself right. "Damn it!" I looked to my knife which was still stuck in the walker's head. I danced around the walker on the ground quickly while the others tried to get at me. With a smooth and fast motion I pulled my knife out of its head. In that moment one walker was lunging at me. I raised my knife and met his heart. It reached for me and while trying to grab for my body, my knife sliced its body open easily and his rotten blood burst out on me. But he wasn't dead. I began to prick my knife into its head again and again until it went limb next to me. I looked to the other walker who was on his way to Maggie, who came out of the water to help me. Behind her I saw a human cadaver floating on the lake. The moment she raised her knife an arrow met the walker and it went dead to the ground.

Daryl ran towards us. "Ya girls ok?" He only looked at me and now I became aware I was almost naked and tried to cover myself with my right arm. I didn't want him to see me and stumbled back, but he was next to me fast. I still tried to cover myself, but he was just looking into my eyes, not giving a damn to look at my body. He laid down his crossbow and took off his vest to place it around my shoulders. I tucked it closer around me.

"Thank you!" My lips whispered. He was still looking into my eyes. This time I didn't want to reject my own feelings and crushed myself into his chest. He wordlessly wrapped his arms around me. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Glenn and Maggie hugging too. I breathed in deep and looked up to him. Our eyes met but he unclasped me and took his bow from the ground.

"Ya should wash yourself." I looked down on me, I was covered in walker blood.

I slowly walked to the water while he sat down behind me, his back to the lake scanning the woods. Maggie came to me and helped me wash off the walker's blood, from my body and my hair. "Thank you Maggie." She nodded with a smile.

Something stirred up inside me and I always felt myself crying. You promised to never cry again. You are strong! Pushing feelings aside that might hurt, I scrubbed harder to get rid of the blood on my body. Just like this blood you can get rid of all the memories. Just wash it away. Now you have a family to care about. I could feel him smile.

...

In the car Daryl and Glenn were sitting in the front again. I looked at the back of Daryl's head. He hadn't looked at my body … he didn't seem to care. I looked down on me, wearing the clothes I had found in the house. I loved my new shirt with the smiley on it.

Back at the prison I could still hear my brother's voice. He was right, I am strong, this is my family, this is my home. I needed to go in there. I wanted to stay with my group, my friends, my family. We took the water and food we had brought from the bunker to the prison. Carl came from the gate to help us. He looked at me when we were in front of the door to the common room, I didn't hesitate and walked on. I made my way into the common room and put the stuff I carried on the table. Hershel came to me. "You look good." I looked at him all confused. "You're showered." He laughed and I joined his laughter.

"Yeah. I feel great."

"No fear to be in here?" He sat down smiling about his little rhyme.

"I push these feelings aside." I truly answered and he nodded.

The others came in too. Rick appeared in the hall way, he looked somewhat disorientated. "What've you brought?"

Daryl was the first to answer. "Water and canned food. Found a bunker stuffed full of this shit!" Rick nodded and they went out together, Carl followed them. I looked over to Carol who held the baby in her arms. When I was looking at the little girl she started to walk up to me. I was afraid she wanted to give me the baby so I went out too and almost bumped into Daryl. "Running away again?"

Ignoring his words I passed him to take the last canister of water out of the car. "Just helping!" I looked over the car to the tower where I had slept before. It had been kind of my place the last days, weeks … I sighed and turned around to see Daryl still standing at the door. He hadn't moved at all. There was something in his eyes I couldn't read. Did he want to say something?

Beth came running out. "You brought mangos?" Her face was all smiles. Daryl turned to her and opened the box he had in his hands to give her one of the cans with mangos. She thanked him and ran for the prison again and we followed her.

Inside the common room it smelled of food. Carol and Maggie were cooking something. It smelled good even I didn't know what they were cooking. I sat down next to Hershel and Glenn. Glenn looked at me. "You don't seem to mind to be in here." He looked tired.

"No, not really." I replied. Oscar entered, his eyes never leaving me when sat down opposite of me. Still I didn't really like him. "This place is safe." Glenn told me. Nodding I looked over to Daryl who was next to Carol holding the baby. It was a weird picture and yet it was harmonic. The two of them and a baby … Oscar's voice stopped me from daydreaming and I was thankful for that. "I told you so!" Oscar smiled at me. This smile, it was the same he had given me before. I felt slightly uncomfortable.

Daryl sat down next to Oscar feeding the baby. When he sat down he slightly elbowed Oscar who looked daunted now. I smiled to myself, Daryl had the ability to intimidate someone by just looking at him.

Beth suddenly put a bowl of soup in front of me. "Here you go." She put another bowl in front of Hershel. Seemed like women were still doing the work here. Men were hunting and on runs, women were cooking and washing clothes. This wasn't my world, I wasn't like these woman, but I had to acquiesce.

Everybody sat down to eat, except Rick who was out … again. He seemed more distant than ever. Carl took two bowls and went out too. I watched him leave while we all ate silently. When we finished our meals it was almost dark outside. Carol switched on some lights and I looked to the door.

"You wanna go to your special place?" Glenn teased me.

I looked to the door were their 'cells' were. "Do you have a spear guest room?" I joked. Big eyes examined me.

"You sure wanna sleep here?" Carol who was at the other side of the room suddenly came closer.

"Yeah …" I said uncomfortable. "I am part of the group … I want to be close …" I stammered.

"Sure we have a room left." Glenn said and stood up. "Come on, I'll show you some free cells." The word still made me flinch, but I didn't want to be intimidated by mere words. I walked towards the hallway of cells to see Daryl and Beth standing at the stairs with the baby. How come Daryl was with the baby all the time? They both looked up on me.

"You wanna have a cell down or up?" Glenn asked and I saw Daryl's amazed expression. It was priceless.

I thought about it. Down here I would be close to the door to run out, but when danger would come into prison I would be safe up. I looked up to the cells above my head. "Up!" I said and we walked towards the stairs that Daryl and Beth were sitting on.

"I am glad you finally come into here to stay with us." Beth smiled at me, she looked so infantile and sweet. Her blonde hair so fairy.

"Thanks Beth!" We walked up. Daryl didn't say a word. When we were upstairs I saw a mattress lying on the floor. Glenn must have seen my glance. "That's were Daryl normally slept!"

"Normally?" What did that mean?

"Since you are here, he was always out …" I saw him looking down. "… on watch." I followed his eyes and Daryl was walking out the cell block. Did he stay with me all the time?

Glenn showed me a cell. "You think you can do it?" I didn't see no point in trying, I had to do it.

Walking into the cell I felt like I had been sent to death. The cell looked so much like a prison … well after all that is where I was. "Thanks!" I looked at the bunk bed.

Someone was coming up the stairs and Maggie appeared in front the bars. Bars … I felt my hands getting wet but I rubbed them on my jeans and told myself not to overreact. I wondered why my brother didn't comment on that … Since I felt safe here he had faded. Was he gone? Maggie stepped in with a pillow and blanket in her hands. "Heard we have a new inmate!"

"That would be me!" I raised my hand like in school. She put the blanket and pillow on the bed and put a sheet over the dirty mattress.

"That'll do." She looked around. "On the next run we can fetch some paintings or stuff. Your room looks lonely." She laughed. I smiled at her words and looked to the bars again. She followed my gaze. "Wait!" She went out and I heard her walking over the metal floor outside the cell. I looked at Glenn who shrugged. When Maggie returned she had another sheet in her

hands and tucked it over the bars so I couldn't see them anymore … well not clearly. Glenn helped her. "Better?" I nodded. Downstairs some of our group went into their cells as well.

"Who's next to take watch?" I asked.

"Me and Glenn." Maggie answered, they both were standing in the door now, almost out of my cell. Before I could ask if I could spell them at watch, Glenn put his arm around Maggie. "We talk tomorrow Ella. Today's plan is set!" They tuned around. "Night Ella!" They almost said together.

"Night guys." I looked around in my cell. So this was my new home … I sat down and starred at the wall opposite of me. I just need to breath and I would survive this.

"You look upset." Carol entered the cell and put down some cloth at the end of my bed.

"No …" I looked at my old clothes, she must have washed them. The other clothes I didn't recognize.

"I brought you some clothes we had found on runs. I thought you might like them." Her voice was so lovely and caring which reminded me of my mother … now this really felt a bit like home.

"Thank you Carol. You are all so nice to me." She came closer. She was really sweet … I thought about her and Daryl again. If he would be happy with her, I would be happy too. They were both caring and good people. "May I?" I didn't know what she meant but nodded and she sat down next to me.

"You are part of this group Ella." The comfort felt nice. "You earn it like anyone else!" I didn't want to say 'thank you' again so I nodded with a smile. Happiness filled my heart and I felt truly home.

"You wanna sleep all alone?" Did she offer to sleep here? I didn't want them to think I was weak. "I heard you scream the other night when I had been on watch …" Oh my … no … I began to sweat again, everything came crushing down on me. "Ella, it is okay to fear …"

"I am fine, really." I smiled at her. "No need to always pet me." That was mean … She stood up but didn't seem mad.

"If you want to talk, I am here for you." She went out slowly.

"I didn't mean to be …. Sorry Carol." I mumbled. "I just want to … I need to do this alone!"

"I understand." She smiled back. "Sleep well!" And she was gone. If there was a price of ruining situations I would win it. Why did I reject people who wanted to help? I waited for my brother's answer, sarcastic comment or irrational statement, but there was nothing but silence. Why did he stay silent? Was he gone? Still no answer …

I looked through the clothes Carol had brought. It was simple stuff, jeans, shirts. I took the shirt with long sleeves. I could put that on tomorrow. I walked to the door of my cell looking to the sides and down. No one was here … I heard someone snoring. Daryl's mattress was close to my cell but he wasn't around. I walked back into the cell and took off my shoes. My

knife was still in my boot and I took it out to place it under my pillow. I was about to pull off my shirt when I realized I had put on the strap at the lake again. Maybe Maggie was right, I shouldn't wear it to get my arm used to being used … I took the strap off and placed it at the end of the bed. A bed … I would never have thought of sleeping in a bed again after the apocalypse started. After all that had happened I was relieved to sleep in a bed in a safe place. The doors to the gangways that led into the prison were all closed and locked. I laid back starring at the ceiling … or more on the bed above me. This was a room for two … two … Daryl … No, I shook my head and turned to the sight. As long as I thought about Daryl I didn't think about the bars or the fact I was trapped in a prison. I closed my eyes. They day had been trouble and stressful, I was really tired. I am proud of you. You did it through pain and fear and now you conquer your inner fears as well. The words echoed in my mind while my thoughts drifted away to dreams. I was happy he was back. He wasn't gone. I love you. I wanted to retort but was already far away dreaming of better days.

Thanks for reading ;o) R&R

XXX