KEYnote: Typically, I write Obi-Wan as a character who takes on way more blame than he deserves and as an excellent Jedi.

Who this Obi-Wan has become is a motherkriffing badass, but at the price of losing himself. The rest of this story will very much be him finding himself with the help of friends, family and lots of hard work.

As well as the changes in the Order that began five years ago.

Obi-Wan lashing out at people, Jango, isn't pretty, but in a way it's a healthy sign because it shows he trusts Jango won't abandon him for ill behaviour.

Moral of this story: Healing is not easier than the war.

Thank you, Sectumus Prince!

Chapter 23 - Tarzan Moment

Mace took Obi-Wan through the Vaapad katas with the very real intention of going until Obi-Wan dropped.

Only, Obi-Wan showed no sign of flagging at any point. As the hours passed and the sweat on Mace's back began to chill, he finally called it.

It was only through years of training to master his breathing and physical exhaustion that he was able to hide how much effort he had put into those katas. Neither Juyo nor Vaapad were low energy forms. Yet Obi-Wan had gone through the katas as though they were practicing Soresu.

"Well done," Mace said, looking over Obi-Wan. His shatterpoints were still fractured, the Force clinging to cracks, caught between shattering the boy or holding him together. "The Force is with you, but it flows through you like an old freighter through turbulence."

Obi-Wan nodded his agreement of the assessment.

Mace remembered how Obi-Wan had clung to him once, after he had been forced into a vision from an old kyber crystal. He had been asking for help then and had trusted Mace in ways most did not.

Obi-Wan hadn't feared him then, because in his view they had been friends.

Cast five years into the past, with the power of a Master Jedi and the memories of a grown man trapped in an eleven year old's body, he still wasn't afraid of Mace.

But he was afraid of himself.

Obi-Wan had been losing control then, drowning, asking for help and accepting of what was offered. But for the Order, Mandalore, and the very galaxy, he had let go of help and hope for himself. Obi-Wan was self-aware enough to know that the cost he would have to pay for that would be steep.

So he didn't take Mace's remark as rebuke, as Depa might have at this age, just as a fact.

Mace watched him a moment longer before saying, "Go clean up, I'll meet you here before sunrise tomorrow morning."

Obi-Wan bowed to him deeply, then Qui-Gon. "Thank you, Masters."

He left without acknowledging Jango.

Mace waited until he was out of hearing before turning to the Mandalorian. "Is he always like that?"

"Yes," Jango said in a clipped tone. "If you let him, he will work until his feet bleed and he passes out from dehydration. Getting him to train is the easy part. Getting him to stop and take care of his basic needs is the difficult part."

Qui-Gon shook his head. "I hope that is not my doing."

Mace used the sleeve of his robe to wipe the sweat from his brow.

"Your doing how?" Jango asked, his visor hiding the glare both Jedi Masters could sense the presence of.

Mace sighed. "He was Qui-Gon's Padawan first."

"So what? Obi'ika hardly remembers his old life anymore, he said so."

Mace shook his head. "He's young, Jango, but a person is more than their memories and physical bodies. The Padawan-Master bond still exists between them, and much of who Obi-Wan has become is learnt through experience and trauma from that old life. Even if his mind does not remember, his heart does. He remembers the pain, like a man who is deathly afraid of water because he drowned in a past life."

"You sound so certain," Jango remarked. "But you said this is the first time this has ever happened to one of your people."

Mace exchanged a look with Qui-Gon.

"What?" Jango snapped at them.

"He remembers more than he lets on, or more than he himself believes," Mace said.

"How do you know that?"

Mace gestured to the other Master. "Because in his spar, he showed that he remembered Qui-Gon's fighting style and weaknesses."

"Maybe he's just that much better of a fighter," Jango offered.

"He's good," Qui-Gon admitted. "But it was more than just speed and intelligence, he knew me. He knew my limits and the way I thought. And the fact remains that a bond I have not fostered exists between us. You say he doesn't remember, but he loves me, Jango. Despite my barely knowing him, he cares deeply for me. Whatever emotions he had, they have stayed with him in large enough parts to make a difference in who he is."

"And he's going through puberty," Mace added. "It is not strange for his emotions to be heightened. The main issue here is that he was at war for so long. In the Order's history, many Jedi fell during our wars. It wasn't just that the Sith were better killers, it was that the longer the Jedi fought them, the more of us died or fell to the Dark Side. Our numbers were added to theirs."

Jango was quiet for a long time.

"Obi-Wan was skilled in war before he came to Stewjon," he said at last. "He had fought on Mandalore before, as he had fought on Melida/Daan before. He didn't fall when he was a Jedi."

"But he carries the trauma from that life and it has compounded with this one," Mace said. "It worries me more that he has forgotten much of it. It means he may not remember the reasons behind his trauma."

Jango shook his head. "Why is this never easy?"

"If it were easy, everyone would be a Jedi," Qui-Gon said.

"Oh, so you are all born this unlucky?"

Mace shrugged. "Technically, there are very few species in the galaxy that don't have any Force-sensitivity. If you put the work in, you yourself could become a Jedi. The Order just actively invites those who don't have the choice to ignore it."

Jango shook his head again. "Thanks, but no thanks. I have enough problems without having to worry about my own control."

Mace nodded. "Despite everything, Jango Fett, you have raised him well. Obi-Wan is strong enough to survive this."

Jango merely shook his head once more and left.

Qui-Gon sighed once he was gone. "I am not looking forward to telling Dooku I lost to a Padawan."

Mace shook his head. "No more than I'm looking forward to telling Depa that my new Padawan wore me out with my own Form."

A feminine laugh echoed through the dojo and they turned to see Depa striding into the room, her dark eyes sparkling. "I'm glad to hear our lineage is going to outshine Dooku's."

Qui-Gon pinched the bridge of his nose and Mace sighed.

No, Depa was never going to let them live this down.

Obi-Wan barely had time to register who was grabbing his hand and tugging him before he was out an open window.

"Quin," Obi-Wan complained, but the sea mist hit his face and filled his lungs.

And he was able to breathe.

After hours of kata work, after realizing that he had been practicing Juyo for years and had been too stupid to realize the danger he was in. Years of ignoring the Force, of dismissing it, dismissing its anger with him. Practising Juyo was like courting the Force and then he fought it off with everything he was, constantly.

Constantly, as if he thought he were a moon pulling an ocean tide.

Only fools thought they could play with the Force like that and come out on top.

He very much hadn't come out on top.

But right here, right now, he wasn't fighting.

Not the Force, not Quin, nor gravity.

He missed this. Jetpacks were not the same, being able to soar through the skies was not the same as being freed from the laws of gravity.

Quin let go of his hand, but Obi-Wan followed him anyway, from branch to branch, suspended over an ocean veiled in a white mist.

Despite how irritated the Force must be with him, the Force did not deny him as it carried him on weightless wings. They followed the line of the shore for some time, beyond the reaches of the city, before Quin led them deeper into the forest.

Quin was not quite two years older than Obi-Wan, fifteen and seventeen, sixteen or eighteen, was not a monumental difference. Obi-Wan wasn't sure of his birthdate, and if Quin knew his own he had never shared. But those two years made a physical difference. Quin had always been taller, bulkier, and simply bigger than Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan was still in limbo as far as reaching his own height. However, this didn't mean he couldn't keep up.

Quin turned to flash a roguish grin at him, and the chase was on.

Quinlan Vos, beneath the thick tropical canopies of Kashyyyk, running across branches and swinging from vines, was very much in his element.

But Obi-Wan had been trained by some of the greatest bounty hunters in the galaxy.

He let Quin get ahead, and through the Force he could feel the older Padawan's satisfaction.

Obi-Wan grinned to himself as Quin didn't get suspicious that he never quite got out of his sightlines.

Obi-Wan was patient and waited for Quin to slow and glance back.

He waited for Quin to continue before shooting up into the higher branches, then moved double time.

When Quin next looked back, Obi-Wan wasn't there. A thread of concern flowed through the Force. Obi-Wan returned amusement across their bond, a bond that in another life would have been frowned upon. Now, though, he was pretty sure the creche Masters were encouraging multiple bonds.

Their community was so much larger than he had imagined it ever could be. The bonds the Masters were now encouraging were because in the Mid Rim there were fewer protections and fewer illusions from the wider galaxy of the extent of the Jedi powers really were.

Their bonds made them stronger, made it easier to find and care for one another. There were forces in the galaxy that had better tech than they did, but even the Sith had their limitations in interfering with Force bonds.

Quin sped up after sensing Obi-Wan's joviality.

Obi-Wan dropped to a lower branch silently, and a moment later Quin came running at him.

Only he was looking around.

He turned his gaze forward in time to register that Obi-Wan was in front of him, his brown eyes going wide, but not in time to avoid the collision.

Obi-Wan only had a brief moment to brace for impact as Quin barreled into him, the momentum carrying them down.

Quin and Obi-Wan both attempted to use the Force to catch themselves, but they ended up unable to find their feet tangled up as close together as they were. So they bounced. The impacts buffered, but it wasn't a soft landing, even with Quin spinning so he hit first, catching Obi-Wan.

Quin gave Obi-Wan a look that was a mix of consternation and exasperation.

Obi-Wan rolled off him, laughing so hard he couldn't breathe.

Quin cursed under his breath as he tried to sit up. Obi-Wan had tears trailing down his cheeks. Quin huffed, sitting beside him and pulling debris out of his braids.

"I blame you for this."

Obi-Wan sat up, rubbing a scratch on his cheek. Still a bit breathless, he said, "Jango is going to kill me for not wearing my armour."

Quin touched his cheek gently. "Not going to lie, the idea of you in armour is kind of sexy."

Obi-Wan grinned, leaning into him. Quin met him partway without any more prompting.

Quin's lips were full, and he kissed like he knew exactly what he was doing.

Which wasn't surprising, Quin had always been promiscuous. He had always struggled with attachment. When Master Tholme had taken Quin away from his homeworld— given the trauma his Aunt had put him through, that had been the right choice— he had also cut Quin off from his people, a people with Force sensitivity and bonds that had been severed cruelly.

Quin's Aunt had tried to push him to the Dark Side, and that wild, broken emptiness Quin was left with had been filled with flings.

The Quinlan Vos of yesterday year had closed himself off from any true bond.

He had always kept Obi-Wan at a distance. No matter how tightly entangled they became with each other, Quin had always kept him at arm's length. Always at arm's length.

But not this Quin.

His Quin.

Obi-Wan's memories of physical intimacy were more than a little muddled, and this body remembered nothing. He was content to follow Quin's lead as if he were teaching him to dance to an old favourite song. Held closely, any missteps of teenage inelegance were lost to the novelty of learning someone new. Every touch elicited a tingling sensation that seemed to reward him for staying present in the moment.

The Force was singing between them, and with his shields as raw as they were, there was very little Obi-Wan wasn't feeding into the bond.

How much he had missed Quin as a friend. How much he wanted whatever this was between them to grow.

Obi-Wan didn't want to be another notch on the Kiffar's belt. He didn't want this to be causal, for them to be flippant or crass. He didn't want for them to turn to each other only when they were raw and desperate, too afraid of being vulnerable to ask to be held that they could only bring themselves to ask for sex.

He didn't want that future, a future where he had been alone well before every stars went out.

Before he was the last and there was no one left to pretend to be strong for anymore.

Quin broke the kiss and Obi-Wan immediately apologised, "I'm sorry—"

Quin shushed with another kiss, then rested his forehead against Obi-Wan—a gesture that made him hum with contentment, his inner Mandalorian pleased at the show of affection.

Quin huffed a laugh. "Force, Obi-Wan, you're incredible, you know that?"

Obi-Wan sighed, letting his eyes shut, and made no motion to pull away. Quin's legs were crossed and Obi-Wan's legs were over Quin's thighs. It was undignified and probably would have been mortifying if anyone in his clan saw him like this. But there was no one else to see them.

It was just them.

"Not so bad yourself, Vos," Obi-Wan teased.

Quin weaved his hand into Obi-Wan's shaggy hair.

Obi-Wan shivered.

"You're afraid."

Obi-Wan sighed, pulling back so he could look into Quin's dark eyes. "My shields—"

"I don't give a kriff about your shields, Kenobi. I can feel your emotions as if they were my own, but I can't read your mind. I won't invade your mind uninvited, and the bond, no matter how strong it grows, is not an invitation. What I want to know is why you're afraid?"

Obi-Wan looked down at him, feeling suddenly awkward.

"I—" He swallowed. "I can't be with you like this if you plan to pull away, if you don't want to be committed."

Quin's brows shot up, "Obi-Wan… I know you saved the galaxy and everything, maybe a few times over, but we're still young. Don't you think it's a little, I don't know, presumptive to be asking about commitment?"

"I've lived our future once. You pulled away from me, we lost our friendship. Despite being friendly, we weren't there for each other. Maybe it's because of that attachment that I fear this, but it's not that I couldn't let you go, that I would be enraged to share you, or even that I couldn't survive your death, but I can't trade the bond we have to chase something more unless you are certain you won't cut and run because I get too close."

Quin shook his head. "My concern was that I might be too old for you. I don't want you to feel pressured in any way. But I hadn't realized you had visions about your love life."

Obi-Wan took a deep breath and thought maybe he shouldn't be sitting in Quin's lap for this conversation, but kriff it. If this was to be the last time, he would hold on to every last moment they had.

"You're not," he said, voice tight.

"I'm not what?"

"You're not older than me, Quin. And even if it was only those two years, I think I can safely say that the five years of war can speak for itself when it comes to my maturity level."

Quin blinked. "You… You time travelled?"

"Yes, sort of, but I went from my thirties to being eleven and I began to forget things almost immediately. The Force didn't stop giving me visions of the future either, so things are all mixed up."

"How did you do it?"

"I was meditating."

"Of course you were," Quin deadpanned. "But I mean how did you survive that, without telling anyone?"

Obi-Wan shrugged. "I was only back at the Temple for two months before—"

"You left us."

Obi-Wan winced. "Yes. And it wasn't something I could share with my clan or something they would have understood."

Quin stared up at him, his arms holding Obi-Wan in place. "Does Jango understand now?"

"No. Yes… I don't know, but he doesn't… He was teaching me Juyo, Quin."

His dark brows rose. "Juyo? Form VII. You've been learning Form VII? How? More importantly, why? I thought you cut yourself off from the Force."

"I did. Jango found some old holos —which, if he wasn't one of the galaxy's best bounty hunters, he shouldn't have been able to find— and modified it for hand-to-hand. I can't believe I didn't recognize it."

"That's not surprising if you were ignoring your Force abilities. Juyo is the only form that doesn't build on all the ones before it. Form VI takes a bit from every Form before it, but Juyo is radically different. It's only semi-recognisable to Atura."

Obi-Wan dropped his forehead back down to Quin's.

"My buir cut out all the flips and jumps."

"Obi-Wan, Juyo is all flips and jumps."

He sighed, closing his eyes. "He turned them into pivots and redirections."

Quin huffed a laugh before hugging him tight, "I don't care."

"About what?"

Quin leaned back and Obi-Wan looked into his face, searching for things unspoken.

"About the time travel, or the possible age difference, or what the Quinlan Vos you knew or who you might have been with in your past or some possible future; I don't care." Quin took a breath before continuing, "Because I lost you once, Obi-Wan. I lost you and I was never happier than when I had proof that you were alive, when I could take your hand and know, always know, that even if a galaxy stood between us, I would never not be able to find you again, that I would always sense your light in the Force.

"I can't promise you the future, I can't promise I'll always be there when you need me to be, but I can promise you that I will never take you for granted and that I could never be unfeeling toward you."

Obi-Wan hugged him, "I love you."

Quin hugged him back, "I love you too."

And for a time Obi-Wan was able to bask in the peace in his own heart.

AN: Writer's block continues and I am so sick of writing on my phone. So shorter chapters as I muscle forward. I'm thankful for any thoughts on the chapter, characters, or pidgions, pretty please?