Hello Darkness: The story of 'What if?' of a Obi-Wan time travel back to the Apprentice Books but stays at the Temple and the Jedi Order falling from within.

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Thank you, Sectumus Prince!

Chapter 24 - The Breaking Point

Obi-Wan didn't come back to the ship that night.

Jango wasn't surprised by this, but still, he waited.

Unable to sleep, he was grateful when Jaster commed him.

-How is Obi'ika?

Jango sighed. "Pissed with me. I messed up. And this Dark Side thing… Buir, I saw it in him today. He's so much faster now. You were right about him holding back, he moved quicker than I could, to my surprise… It wasn't ner ad'ika looking at me, it was someone or something that craved chaos and destruction. If he fails becoming a Jedi, we may lose him."

-What the kark do you mean by 'lose him'? Jaster demanded, practically spitting the words.

"The Dark Side, the Force, it's strong enough to overwhelm. Mace Windu, Obi-Wan's Jedi Master—"

-The Senator of Coruscant?

"Yes, him. He said the Force magnifies a Jetii's emotions. When they use the Dark Side, they are channelling the hurt and pain that any living being in the galaxy has ever felt."

Jaster was quiet for a long moment before he said, -How much danger is he in?

"A lot. Mace does sound hopeful, but, Buir…" He sighed. "I don't know what I'm doing."

-Obi'ika was angry with you?

"Yes. I was teaching him an adapted vision of Jetii katas and he said I didn't care enough to do my research."

-He yelled at you?

"Yes," Jango said.

-Good.

"What?" Jango snapped. "Buir, he's never raised his voice at me before."

-Exactly. He was afraid of you, ner ad'ika. Afraid of all of us. He was afraid of doing anything that would cause us to expel him or turn against him. If he's yelling at you, then he trusts you not to leave.

"He was pissed."

-Good. Jango, he's been holding back for years, keeping his silence. He is neither meek nor a coward. It hasn't been easy for him to keep his secrets, to cut himself off from his people and powers, and he did it because he believed he was saving our peoples and the galaxy. He has every reason to be angry, and I welcome his anger over his apathy. Be careful the Jedi don't encourage him to shut back down.

Jango took a moment to process that. Finally he said, "Mace is a good man, I met his first ad'ika, his first Padawan. I liked her, and like her Jetii Master she has a sense of power about her. Yet her warmth for Obi-Wan, even when she hasn't seemed to know him personally, was palpable. They aren't, at least in their own home, as cold as we were led to believe."

-You are going to be there for years.

Jango tensed, then he let his shoulders fall. "Mace offered to join our clan."

-We aren't ready for that, by which I mean, Mandalore isn't ready for it.

No, the reports of late were… complicated. That Obi-Wan was rumoured to be the one to kill Tor Vizsla, remotely, while being sold into slavery had been redeeming even for a Jetii.

Micah had joined Jaster for a press meeting to give his account of the events, as well as coming out as Tor Vizsla's son and revealing the crimes his father had committed against him because of his born disability.

Chakraborty had been the one to save and adopt Micah, but Jango had been the one who taught them both expanded sign, as well as the rest of the clan. Most Mandalorians spoke the sign needed for battle, but expanded sign was less commonly used or understood.

Like Obi-Wan, Jango had always enjoyed learning languages.

"Maul?" Jango asked. It was still a bit odd that his new vod was his ad'ika's age.

-If Obi'ika was afraid we would expel him, Ma'ika is waiting for us to beat him. He also snarls and growls at nearly everyone and everything.

Jango sighed. "Snarling and growling isn't exactly uncommon from a Mandalorian."

That got a laugh out of Jaster.

-Fair enough. He's picking up Mando'a well enough, at least. Not that he speaks it often—he hardly speaks at all, actually, but he listens. He is beyond intelligent. Perhaps not the same cleverness as Obi'ika, but there is a mind behind the muscle.

"Has he asked to speak with Obi-Wan?"

-No. He wants nothing to do with the Jetiiese. Even if it was you and I who ended him, Maul accounts Sidious's death to Obi-Wan. He was raised on the idea that the Jetii would kill a Sith without question.

"Is it safe to have them in the same space?"

-I'm not going to risk it anytime soon. Especially when Obi'ika is battling with his own control. Maul is ner ad'ika, not Obi-Wan's responsibility.

Jango sighed. "You should call him soon."

-I will. Try to rest, Jan'ika. Settle in. Windu will be welcome among us when the time comes, but for now, Obi-Wan needs time to heal. He has more than earned a respite from politics and galactic conflicts.

"Good night, Buir."

Jaster turned his farewell into a command, -Sleep, ner ad.

Jango let out a long, slow curse as he was left alone in his grounded ship.

He wasn't sure how long passed before there was a knock on the ship's hatch.

Jango stood, knowing it wasn't Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan wouldn't have knocked.

Indeed, it was Mace Windu.

"Obi-Wan isn't here," Jango snapped at him.

Mace's expression remained unmoved as he said, "I came here to see you."

"What about?"

"To offer you a place to stay on Kashyyyk. The healers will not clear Obi-Wan to leave the Temple for months, but more truthfully, it will take years until he is cleared for active duty. As Obi-Wan's parent, you are entitled to a suite within the Temple or a home in the city."

Jango blinked. That… hadn't been what he was expecting.

"Where is Obi-Wan staying?" he asked.

"I would assume with you."

Jango felt something in his chest relax. This Jetii truly wanted what was best for Obi-Wan, not what he personally might have wanted.

"Traditionally," Jango began, "where would he have stayed?"

"Padawans share rooms with their Masters. However, you are an anchor for him, and strictly speaking, sharing rooms is not necessary."

Jango sighed. "No, we will move in with you. He struggles the most at night. That is, if that's what he wants."

"He will be expecting a room in a shared suit." When Jango said nothing, Mace offered, "Obi-Wan and Quinlan have always been inseparable. And now that they are older, it would seem they have grown closer."

Jango snorted. "That much, at least, I caught on to when I first saw them together."

Mace smiled. "It is perhaps the only advantage of a Padawan's teenage years we have, that we can identify who they fall in love with, perhaps even before they do."

"Was Depa this… difficult?"

Mace threw his head back and laughed. "If you had had a daughter you would not need to ask that." His expression sobered. "Obi-Wan has more traumas that Depa didn't have at his age, but typically females have crises of identity compounded with complex emotions. Advanced maturity comes at some cost."

Jango rolled his eyes. "Jaster says that human males don't reach maturity until their thirties."

Mace dipped his head. "I'm not entirely sure I disagree."

A Jetii Master and a Mando getting along. Who could have predicted it?

Jango turned to go collect his bag from the bedroom.

"Would you like help carrying your belongings?" Mace asked when he returned.

"This is it, unless you will let me bring bombs into your home," Jango joked.

Mace answered him seriously, "Bombs are not the most dangerous things in this Temple, I assure you."

The Jetii made it sound like they already had an arsenal in the Temple—hell, they probably did. Life in the Mid Rim wasn't as cushiony as being in the Core.

Jango slung his bag over his shoulder and went to his weapons trunk, unhooking it from the wall. Mace took one handle without being asked, and together they left The Salvation I deeper into the Temple.

The Senator led the way to one of the higher floors. The Temple of Kashyyyk was an architectural marvel of stone and forest. The room that they finally entered consisted of an open space, with a sofa and cushions for seats around a low table, all of which could be moved to use the full room. There was also a kitchenette that was about the size of the one on his ship with a bit more counter space.

Jango noted that the spice rack was thankfully full, and on the tea shelf there was caf. Obi-Wan would like the clay pot that they couldn't have kept safely on their ship, a bit of turbulence would have spelled the thing's funeral compactor.

By far, the best thing about the room was the view of the ocean. A horizon of mist and surf. As they walked further into the room, Jango realized there was even a balcony.

Obi-Wan would love this.

Mace led Jango into a room that was basic in the extreme. There was a chair with a footrest and a small side table near the windows, a full bed, a closet, and a small refresher. Despite the minimalism, the view made the room.

He and Mace set the trunk of weaponry at the foot of the bed.

"Thank you," the Senator said.

Jango removed his helmet. "For what?"

"For working with us instead of making this harder."

Jango sighed. "It isn't for your sake."

"I know," Mace said. "But not all fathers are good ones, Mandalorian or otherwise."

Jango thought of Micah's father and couldn't argue.

"Do you need anything? Or would you like anything?"

"No," Jango lied.

Mace nodded. "My room is the one down from yours, Obi-Wan's is across from yours. Good night."

"Good night," Jango echoed, waiting until Mace left to take a seat. He should unpack, but his worry had finally caught up with him. He found himself stripping his armour off, as well as his blacks, and slipping into bed. For a time, he would let sleep distract him from his worries.

He had nightmares, because of course he did, but he woke more rested than he had felt since Obi-Wan had been taken from him months ago.

"Good morning, Obi-Wan," Master Tholme greeted as Obi-Wan and Quin emerged into the main room.

Obi-Wan flushed a bit.

He and Quin hadn't done anything last night but cuddle, but they had come in late, and he was pretty sure Tholme knew that.

Knew exactly what two teens might have been up to in the forest.

Not that anything had happened.

Quin chuckled, twining their hands together and pulling him to the table. Master Tholme served them tea as they took their seats.

"Thank you, Master," Obi-Wan said, head slightly bowed.

"You were well missed, young Obi-Wan, it is good to have you back."

Before Obi-Wan could answer, there was a knock on the door and Obi-Wan noted the three extra tea cups.

Ambush.

Master Tholme gave him a look that confirmed Obi-Wan's paranoia before the Master called, "Come in."

The door swished open and the first person through the entrance was blonde, blue-eyed, and bleeding relief into the Force.

Obi-Wan stood and Feemor nearly ran to him. The Seeker didn't touch Obi-Wan but his gaze took in every inch of him.

"I'm sorry, Master Feemor," Obi-Wan said.

Feemor shook his head. "No, Obi-Wan… I'm the one who left."

"It was the Force's will," Obi-Wan said. "I didn't reach out to you because I thought you were the one who died in the bombing. When I found out otherwise, it was years later and I was fighting in a civil war."

Feemor was quiet for a long time before he said, "I am grateful that you are here today."

Obi-Wan crossed the space between them and hugged Feemor. "I'm sorry."

Feemor hugged him back, laying his cheek on the top of Obi-Wan's head. "Welcome home, youngling."

Obi-Wan let Feemor be the one to decide when to end the hug, and they had hardly parted before he was pulled into another hug.

Obi-Wan simultaneously relaxed and felt his heart twist with guilt.

"I'm so sorry, Master Tahl."

She shushed him, pulling back and cupping his face in her hand. She wore gold-framed glasses that made her gold-green eyes seem brighter. "Thank you for saving me, Obi-Wan. And though I think you took on far too much, you cannot be faulted for doing everything and anything you could have for our sakes."

He blinked back tears, and Tahl pulled him down to sit back at the table.

The last person who entered the room mussed his hair.

He glared up at Depa, who smirked at him. "Welcome home, little brother."

Obi-Wan blinked.

He knew Depa had been Mace's Padawan.

His only Padawan.

But Obi-Wan hadn't considered that they shared a Master now. He hadn't known Feemor in his old life and Xanatos had been pretty set on murdering him.

It would be a strange honour to have a sister to share a mentor with.

As everyone settled around the table to enjoy morning tea, Obi-Wan remained tense until he realized the conversation that flowed around the table never focused back on either interrogation or accusation.

Quin bumped his knee against Obi-Wan's and they shared a glance.

Obi-Wan was safe, and unlike the other Padawans, the adults didn't blame him for his choices.

"So, Obi-Wan," Depa said, "I heard you wore Mace out yesterday."

Tholme raised his brows. "Practising what?"

Obi-Wan blinked, then shrugged. "He was just showing me Vaapad."

He hadn't thought he had 'worn' Mace out.

"You've been away from us for years and you're already learning a new form?" Tahl asked, pushing her glasses up her nose.

Obi-Wan grimaced. "Jango has been teaching me modified Juyo for years."

"Modified for what?" Feemor asked.

"Hand-to-hand. Apparently, it was the closest he could find to my grandfather's style of fighting."

"That's somewhat terrifying," Tahl remarked.

"According to Mace," Depa said, smirking, "you've practically mastered Juyo."

Obi-Wan shrugged. "I don't know about that, but I beat Qui-Gon."

Tahl and Feemor gaped at him.

"You won against Master Qui-Gon?" Feemor asked.

Obi-Wan half-smiled. "Yes."

Tahl laughed.

Quin punched Obi-Wan's shoulder. "Why didn't you tell me that yesterday?"

"I've done more impressive things, Quin," Obi-Wan said. "I killed Montross with a beskar brace when I first joined Jaster's clan."

Feemor choked on a sip of tea. "You did what?"

"Wasn't he on our kill-on-sight list?" Tahl asked.

"He was," Master Tholme said, giving Obi-Wan an assessing look.

Obi-Wan glanced at the wall and was relieved at the time. "I need to go meet with Master Windu."

The only reason Quin had gotten up in time was because Obi-Wan had the forethought to set multiple alarms.

Depa rose. "Slight change of plans, Padawan. Mace sent me to get you situated in your own room before training."

Obi-Wan had a sneaking suspicion he wasn't going to be training today. Jango tended to regulate how much Obi-Wan trained since he had a habit of overdoing it. If that was punishment for losing his temper…

Perhaps it was fair, but he wouldn't apologise.

True, Chakraborty, Micah, and the Reeve girls had been welcomed by the Jedi and their clan had accepted the Jedi in return. But a part of Obi-Wan could never let go of the Clone Wars. Jango had allowed millions of people, his kin, to be bred and raised for slaughter with the sole purpose of avenging his people.

Obi-Wan didn't blame the Jango he knew now for what that version of him had done, no more than he blamed Bruck Chun or infant Anakin for their past deeds. But Obi-Wan would not accept that he had been irrational in distrusting Jango, or the Order for that matter.

The Jedi and Mandalorians were ancient enemies. Basically, for as long the Jedi and Sith had been enemies, so too had both the Jedi and the Sith been warring with the Mandalorians. Yet in all those thousands of years they had crossed paths, they knew kriff-all about each other.

It was a level of ignorance that was criminal and just plain stupid.

Between the Jedi and the Mandalorians, only the Sith had come out on top, because they had done their karking research. Meanwhile, the Jedi and the Mandalorians had driven each other onto the brink of extinction.

So, no, Obi-Wan wouldn't forgive that, or ask to be forgiven for being upset about it. He wouldn't have had to do everything he had if his peoples hadn't let their prejudices and arrogance of their own superiority destroy each other.

"Obi-Wan?" Depa asked.

Quin caught and squeezed his hand as Obi-Wan rose to his feet. He squeezed back before following Depa out, waving goodbye to Tahl, Feemor, and Master Tholme.

Depa offered him a smile as they walked through the hall. "You know, a lot of people find Mace frightening."

"I don't," he said at once.

She raised a brow. "Oh?"

Obi-Wan flushed. What was he supposed to say? 'Yeah, we all served on the Council together, so I know you, too.'

"Are you all right?" Depa asked after an awkward moment, her smile falling.

He swallowed. "Yeah, I'm fine."

Obi-Wan was grateful when they reached his new room assignment and learned that it wasn't that far from Quin and Tholme's room. As they walked through the door, he was awed by the view of the ocean, then immediately he was validated when he saw those who were awaiting him.

Jango, Mace, and Qui-Gon were sitting around a table.

There were reasons Obi-Wan didn't want to come back to the Jedi, reasons he had kept secret. He didn't want to discuss his past.

Buir watched him with dark eyes.

Obi-Wan let out a long breath.

He was a teenager, not a child.

He crossed the space and took the seat next to his buir. "Good morning, Buir, Masters."

He felt Jango's breath exit him in a long exhale.

Mace began, "Obi-Wan, we all know this will not be easy, but it is imperative that we discuss your other life."

Typical Mace, pulling no punches.

"It isn't relevant," Obi-Wan insisted. "Nothing that happened is likely or even possible to happen the way it did before."

"It is relevant to who you are today," Mace said.

"I don't remember—"

"You remember well enough, or at least your spirit remembers well enough that a Force bond still exists between you and Qui-Gon."

"So?" Obi-Wan retorted. "He's not my Master now, you are."

Mace quirked a smile. "Yes, but after talking with your father—"

Obi-Wan didn't say anything but Mace still held up a hand to forestall him.

"We will not play this both ways, Obi-Wan. You may have the experience of a Master Jedi and that of a general of galactic warfare, you may even be of age, but you chose this path, as you chose to keep your family bonds. Jango does not have the right to make choices for you but he does have the right to act and share information at his discretion in the interests of your well being and health. That is the right any Master has to their Padawan, whether that Jedi learner is thirteen or thirty. You may not agree that this is in your best interests, but both Jango and I believe that it is."

Obi-Wan could say nothing to that other than he didn't want to.

At his continued silence, Mace laid down his ultimatum, "Either you tell us now, as much as you're able, or you will sit every morning of every day with a mind healer. A mind healer who you won't necessarily be forced to talk to but it will become that healer's decision when you are cleared for active duty."

"Hard-ass," Obi-Wan sniped, remembering all the Council meetings where Mace had played the tough guy because he had the best resting-scowl of any member.

Depa laughed and Obi-Wan caught the glimpse of mirth in Mace's dark eyes. But no one spoke, waiting on Obi-Wan's decision.

On one hand, Obi-Wan knew how talented the Temple's mind healers were and knew that they were quite capable of helping him. He also knew how invasive they would be and that relying on them would be akin to trusting a stranger.

On the other hand, while Obi-Wan still held his conviction that keeping his secrets had been reasonable —no matter what anyone else thought—, they did deserve to know now. These people, his people, who stood by him despite everything. They also weren't being hostile toward each other, going above and beyond what Obi-Wan had believed either cultures would have tolerated or been capable.

It would be insanely hypocritical of Obi-Wan, who had spent fruitless years trying to get Anakin to a mind healer, to turn down their help.

But Obi-Wan decided then and there, that no matter how much this hurt, he was tired of lying and omitting truth to his aliit.

He sighed, but asked, "Where would you like me to start?"

The relief from the four others was palpable and the pride Obi-Wan sensed from Jango alone made the decision worth it.

"I don't expect you to tell us everything or even to be able to," Mace said. "But I would like you to start where your life split. How did your time as an eleven year old go?"

Obi-Wan glanced at Qui-Gon before looking back at Mace, "Nothing truly abnormal until I turned thirteen happened in my personal life. Quin and I grew apart at that age and it wasn't until we were in our twenties did our friendship truly resume. However, though I never went to Stewjon, Master Feemor did. He and the younglings were murdered by Montross, it rejuvinated the tensions between Mandalorians and the Jedi. I also believe it led the Order to be more susceptible to Death Watch's manipulations, seeing as Montross identified as a True Mandalorian, and thus tarnishing Mand'alor Jaster's name, and later, Mand'alor Jango."

"Buir died?" Jango asked.

Obi-Wan nodded, "My heart tells me that Montross likely betrayed him to his death. I know you worked with him for a time but you were also the person who ended up killing Montross."

"You knew this, going to Stewjon?" Depa asked.

Obi-Wan shook his head, "I didn't know, not until I met Montross myself. I never knew that Qui-Gon had an apprentice before Xanatos, and though I heard of Feemor, I never knew that was his name."

"What do you mean?" Mace asked.

"We all heard the story of Montross's crime," Obi-Wan said. "He killed younglings and Feemor. He set the ship on autopilot to the Temple with their remains. The story became more of a legend, The Slaughter of the Seeker. Looking back on it now, I understand why Qui-Gon was so reluctant to take me as a Padawan, because in less than two years, Xanatos betrayed him and Feemor was brutally murdered."

Qui-Gon was quiet for a moment before saying, "Thank you, Obi-Wan, for sparing us that."

Obi-Wan nodded, "I'll admit that part of my reluctance to returning to the Temple after the bombing on Stewjon was because I didn't want to see your pain at losing Feemor."

Qui-Gon shook his head, "I don't understand why I would have been reluctant to choose you as a Padawan. Any Master would have been honoured to teach you."

Obi-Wan shrugged, "I was hot headed, and technically, I was never chosen."

Mace let out a harsh breath, "Yoda interfered."

"That's what you told me before I time travelled," Obi-Wan said.

"What prompted you to time travel?" Qui-Gon asked.

Obi-Wan looked down into his forgotten tea that Depa had poured for him. He took in a breath before looking back up. "I asked for the right to take on my next Padawan learner, and Yoda assigned her to my first apprentice who had just graduated."

Mace looked furious, but it was Depa who asked, "Why?"

"I don't know," Obi-Wan said. "I don't even know why he interfered in my own apprenticeship. I had no idea that other Masters were considering me as early as elven. I'm not sure if it was for Qui-Gon's sake, but if so, it was misled. Qui-Gon and I had a high success rate, we accommodated each other's weaknesses, but it was far from a peaceful or easy pairing."

Qui-Gon blinked, "I find that hard to believe."

"I wasn't the person I am now, Qui-Gon," Obi-Wan said. "And technically you never chose me. I aged out of the initiate program and was sent with you on a mission under false pretenses of being an Agricorps representative."

Jango made a harsh sound, "You were never meant to be a farmer."

"No," Obi-Wan agreed. "The Living Force was never my area of expertise."

"Any other major events in your early apprenticeship?" Mace asked.

Obi-Wan sighed, "A lot happened in those years. I actually left the Order a few months after becoming Qui-Gon's Padawan."

"Why?" Depa asked.

"Melida/Daan," Obi-Wan said. "Qui-Gon had Orders to return to the Temple with Tahl and I couldn't leave the Young to fight on their own without helping them. That was my first exposure to war and I still believe that it was that choice that shaped my future."

"So, you were a child soldier, at some point?" Depa asked.

Obi-Wan shrugged, "I think I was always a Mandalorian, or Qui-Gon and I were chaos magnets."

"Or both," Depa said, lightening the mood.

Obi-Wan inclined his head, "Or both."

"Coming back to the Order must have been difficult," Mace said. "The Order changed dramatically after your trip to Stewjon, I do not believe the same would have happened if you hadn't rocked the ship as you did in this timeline."

Obi-Wan nodded, "No, I wasn't easily accepted. Qui-Gon was relectuntent."

"My apologies, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon said, "For my blindness."

Obi-Wan shrugged, "You are human, and Yoda was pushing you. You've never done well when pushed."

"Yet he has no problem pushing," Depa said.

Obi-Wan smiled until Jango stated, "You're leaving things out. About Mandalore."

Obi-Wan glanced at him, "Ba'buir had died by then and Death Watch had the Senate in its pocket. A group of Jedi were sent by the Senate to reason with or apprehend the True Mandalorians."

"We didn't corporate," Jango stated.

"No, you didn't. Many of the Jedi were killed but our clan was defeated and the True Mandalorian movement with them."

"You weren't there," Jango said.

"No, I wasn't," Obi-Wan agreed.

"Then when did you fight on Mandalore?" Jango asked.

"I was eighteen, Qui-Gon and I were assigned to keep the Kryze family alive. By then, the clan wars had decimated the planet, nothing grew there and nothing could be grown there. The Kryze clan came into power, implemented a complete cease fire. Satine, to honour her father's death, enforced the convictions of what they called 'the New Mandalorians' which were neutrality, and nonviolence."

"Nonviolence?" Jango asked, his voice thick with pure disdain.

Depachuckled, "You say that like you've never considered the concept."

"We don't have a word for it in our language that isn't synonymous with stupid or coward," Jango said.

"It was an uneasy peace," Obi-Wan said. "They were able to end the war, anyone who refused to give up their weapons, were exiled to the Concordia Moon, and for a decade, Mandalore was able to rebuild."

"I'm glad Jaster won the vote," Jango said. "The Kryzes would have destroyed us."

Obi-Wan shook his head, "Buir, Mandalore was already lost. Foundlings were being stolen for soldiers, the land was barren… it was— I don't have the words. I didn't live this, but the Force showed me how it all fell apart again. Thirty years from now, both the Jedi and the Mandalorians would have been chased down into extinction. We destroyed each other and the Sith took everything that remained."

"There was another war with the Sith," Mace rightly assumed.

"In essence, but the Sith orchestrated a galactic civil war within the Republic. Palpatine was the Chancellor and attained war time powers. He was hiding in plain sight. The Jedi who took leadership positions in the Grand Army of the Republic, were executed for treason against the Republic," Obi-Wan said, fighting not to disassociate from this moment.

Somehow, speaking these things aloud was freeing and yet made them more real.

More than just nightmares.

"You lived this?" Depa asked for clarification.

Obi-Wan shook his head, "No. I only lived the first year of that war, however, the Force showed me what would be. Without help, I didn't know how to make the visions stop, so I tried cutting myself off from it."

"Did that work?" Qui-Gon asked.

"No, but I didn't have visions in my waking hours. My nightmares…" Obi-Wan sighed.

"Your night terrors," Jango prompted softly.

"They merged," Obi-Wan continued. "My forgotten memories, the visions, my imagination, and the wars I was fighting in waking hours."

"When did Qui-Gon die?" Mace asked.

Obi-Wan raised a brow.

Mace didn't back down, "You love Qui-Gon, but there is so much sorrow within you, Obi-Wan, and guilt."

Obi-Wan pulled his hands from the table, noticing his hands were shaking and hoping no one else had noticed. "Near the end of my apprenticeship, before my Knighting, Qui-Gon and I faced a Sith apprentice. We got separated in the fight and Qui-Gon was killed. I was able to avenge him, but it was cold comfort."

"You're leaving something out," Jango picked.

Obi-Wan scowled at him, "Thirty-six years, Buir, I'm certain there is a lot I'm leaving out."

"About Qui-Gon, about the Jedi," Jango said. "Mace is right, you do harbour guilt— you doubt yourself. In so many ways, you are one of the most capable people I have ever met. Neither Jaster or I did that to you."

Obi-Wan couldn't look at any of them, his hands fisting on his lap and he told himself he just needed to get through this.

Get it over and done with.

"Qui-Gon found an extremely powerful Force sensitive he wanted to bring into the Order. The Council decided he was too old, he was nine, but more than that, he had severe traumas that the Council didn't believe the Order would be able to help him with. So Qui-Gon petitioned to take him as his next Padawan."

"While you were still my Padawan," Qui-Gon said.

Obi-Wan did look up then and was soothed by the remorse he saw in his old Master's dark blue eyes.

"What happened to the boy?" Mace asked.

Obi-Wan didn't look away from Qui-Gon, because he already knew Mace's opinion on this matter, "I took him as my first Padawan, it was my Master's last request."

Qui-Gon's face shone with horror and sorrow.

And the silence welled around them.

"That's unfortunate," Depa said mildly, though he knew her well enough that any comment on something so personal was sensor.

Qui-Gon —who now sat on the Council himself— apparently knew the same and flinched.

Jango then proceeded to sucker punch him in asking, "Who is Cody?"

"My friend," Obi-Wan said shortly, trying to close the conversation down.

He was exhausted and wanted to run back to Quin and sleep for weeks.

But Jango didn't let up, "Why have you called me by his name so often over the years?"

"Because," Obi-Wan drawled, knowing that Jango would get his answer on this one way or another. "You're identical."

Jango gave him an unamused look.

Obi-Wan shook his head, "Buir, trust me, you don't want to know."

"Alright," Jango said too easily. "How do I die?"

Obi-Wan winced, "You don't want to know that either."

"Try me."

"No, Buir."

"Tell me," Jango commanded.

"Fine," Obi-Wan snapped. "After our clan was destroyed, sans you and Myles." Obi-Wan paused, "Though I never heard of any children dying on that mission so I can't say what became of the Reeves. But I do know in that fight that you personally strangled five Jedi knights to death with your bare hands."

Jango took that in stride, but Obi-Wan saw understanding dawn on his face as to why Obi-Wan had been so afraid to tell him that he was a Jedi for so many years.

"Then the Jedi executed me," Jango concluded.

"No," Obi-Wan said. "Then Death Watch sold you into slavery. You regained your freedom a few years later and became the galaxy's greatest bounty hunter."

"Then how do I die? And don't tell me it doesn't matter."

Obi-Wan felt his expression go blank even as he said pleasantly, "Mace decapitates you. Which is why I laughed when I realized the two of you were working together."

"I'm sorry—" Mace began.

"Don't," Obi-Wan cut the man off. "He had it coming."

"Excuse me?" Jango asked, his emotion rising at Obi-Wan's lack of it.

"You joined with the Sith, Buir."

"I'm working against them now, ner ad'ika, and I'm working with the Jedi."

Obi-Wan sighed, "I don't blame you for the actions of that man but there is no justifying that man's crimes."

"Because I helped destroy the Jedi?" Jango asked.

"No, in many ways the Jedi had it coming too. We were just as guilty, perhaps more so. We let the Republic rot and we enabled its corruption as well as participated in it."

"Then what are you trying to say? What did I do?"

"I'm saying I've seen us all at our worst and I saw the Sith break us with our own shortcomings."

Jango was a stubborn tooka, "If not killing the Jedi and not joining with the Dar'Jetiiese, what did I do to earn death in your eyes?"

Obi-Wan hesitated.

"No more secrets, Obi'ika." Jango's demeanour softened. "It wasn't me, I won't be angry with you for how you feel or what you think of him."

The change in Jango's mood, the pleading in his voice, reminded Obi-Wan that Jango didn't give a kriff about that other reality except for how it affected Obi-Wan. He wasn't asking to know or to satisfy his curiosity, but to understand.

Understand— after Obi-Wan had left him in the dark from the beginning. Yet Jango still loved him and had begrudged him nothing.

Jango had never left him.

So Obi-Wan gave in, "You asked who Cody was; he was made from the worst of you, yet he was simitiously everything good about you. He was steady, incredible, and sure hearted. He didn't have your freedoms and yet no one ever cared as much for his men as he did."

"Who was he?" Jango pushed.

"He was one of your sons," Obi-Wan answered.

Jango arched a brow, "One of my foundlings, you mean."

"No, he was biologically yours," Obi-Wan said. "Though you never claimed him as yours."

Jango shook his head, "Obi'ika, I am asexual and a foundling myself. If I wanted children I would have adopted. I would have never willingly procreated."

Obi-Wan paused, soaking in that information. He realized that had probably accounted for much of the order and lack of desertions within the GAR. Being asexual had likely made Jango a better template. Not that all the clones were asexual, Obi-Wan knew for certain that many weren't, but even if a large percentage of the clones were more inclined that way, if they had lower sex drives altogether, it would have explained how focused and patient the clones as a whole had been at times.

Because, honestly, keeping the Jedi in order had been more difficult than an army of identical men with no leave time, which was… unprecedented.

"Not sexaully," Obi-Wan agreed. "He was cloned from you, Buir. Cody was one of three million soldiers who you allowed to be made from your own flesh and blood. Three million souls who you sold and damned to the Republic to end the Jedi. The Jedi didn't have the numbers to go to war, so Palpatine gave the clones to us. If the Jedi refused to fight they still would have been forced to, but would have been led by those who graduated from Corriellian Academy."

Jango looked as if he was struggling with denying that new information and his belief that Obi-Wan was telling him a possibility.

Mace, however, said, "We failed you."

Obi-Wan turned his attention to Mace who looked devastated at their part in an enslaved army.

Obi-Wan shook his head, "I wasn't an innocent in this. I was a High General on the Jedi Council. We like to think evil solely belongs to our enemies, but true evil are the justifications and lies we tell ourselves. That someone else's freedoms can wait, that ignorance is an excuse, that order is more important than justice. What we did to the clones, what I did… How I failed them and my Padawan and my grand-padawan… I'll never forgive myself for it."

"If you never forgive you will never heal," Depa said softly.

He caught her gaze, "I was pulled back in the middle of the war, but the Force showed me how it ended. I watched the Temple burn, I watched Mandalore burn, and it wouldn't have done so without my aid."

"Arrogance," Depa snapped. "Look at everything you've done with unclouded eyes, look at what you've done, who you have saved. The Sith had their eyes on you but now, in this life…"

Mace finished for her, "Obi-Wan Kenobi, all is how the Force wills it, but from your sorrows, your mistakes, and your pain, the Force has given the galaxy, the Jedi, and the Mandalorians a new beginning through your actions.

"But your suffering no longer serves you, your doubts no longer teach you. Your life is yours to live.

"You are no longer the point on which the galaxy will break, there are others now that must hold that weight. The Sith will never use you as they did. Even if they tried, it would not be the end of all that you love."

Obi-Wan was suddenly blinking back tears, and his voice broke, "I tried."

Jango put an arm around Obi-Wan's shoulders and Obi-Wan leaned into him for support.

Mace held Obi-Wan's gaze as he stated, "You never stopped trying, and given the opportunity, you saved us all."

AN: Thoughts, wants, nexu cats, feedback, pretty please?