A/N: It's been awhile! But I'm still here! We are picking up pretty much where we left off. I am using bits from late season 13… This is dedicated to MeredithGreyGSM!
Enjoy!
Arizona's pager beeped, she looked at it and frowned. A consult in the pit? Quickly, she made her way through the halls to the emergency wing where she approached the desk. "Hey," she called to the nurse. "Someone paged?"
"Me."
Arizona whirled around to face her wife. She stared at her for a second, mouth agape. They'd both been super busy lately, and they hadn't had much time together. In fact, she'd missed out on breakfast with Callie and Sofia this morning because of a labouring patient with a baby in distress. In fact, she was sure she didn't even kiss the girls goodbye.
"I need your help. It's urgent," Callie said.
"Great. Where we headed?" What was it? A labouring mother in a car accident? A fetus with an abnormality?
"The Archfield. Tonight. The minute we are off work."
"Wait. What?"
"Mark is taking Sofia tonight, and we are having a date." Callie beamed, looking at her through her lashes.
The thought of being alone with Callie at the classy Archfield was definitely appealing. "So you paged me for a dinner date?" she asked, allowing herself a small smile.
"Oh, dinner? Yeah, we can do that too. But my plans are naked plans. I mean sex. Sex plans with my wife. At the Archfield. Tonight. Did I come on too strong? It's just, it's been-"
"So long." Arizona said.
"So long." Callie nodded.
She was about to say something when a noise from behind caught her attention. She turned to see a little boy coughing.
Immediately, she ran to him, Callie trailing behind. The poor kid looked to be about eight, but his face was pale and his expression wane. She and Callie crouched down. "Hey, are you with someone?"
The boy shook his head no. She looked around. Surely a doctor was already attending him, but she saw no one.
"What's your name?" Callie asked.
"Liam," he mumbled.
"Liam. Hey, are you hurt?"
He shook his head no again as the two doctors carefully looked him over.
"Are you sick? Do you feel bad?" Arizona asked, knowing that he might not consider himself 'hurt' if he had no injuries.
This time, he nodded.
"Okay." She looked around the pit for the faces of alarmed and worried parents, but found none. "Where are your parents?"
"I don't have any," Liam said.
xxx
Meredith dropped her phone into her pocket after calling Alex and getting no answer. What the hell was he doing? Where was he? She sighed and wrapped a stethoscope around her neck as she hurried to trauma one. "Who do we have, Edwards?"
"Oh, I paged Kepner."
"She's with a Pede's patient," Meredith replied, snapping on her gloves.
"Pedes? Where's Dr. Karev?"
Meredith scowled. If only that damned man would answer his phone. "Who am I, his keeper?"
Edwards frowned, but chose wisely to focus on her patient rather than on potential gossip. "Holly Harner, complaining of generalized chest and abdominal pains after a fall. She also has a pretty obvious forearm fracture. Just waiting on the X-rays."
"Hi Holly, I'm Dr. Grey. Can you tell me what happened?" Meredith gently palpated Holly's abdomen, looking for abnormalities.
"I was having the best sex of my life. No, third-best."
"Mmm-I'd hate to see the best." Despite being widowed for five years, sex talk did not bother her at all. She'd had sex with Derek all over the hospital at various points in their relationship. They'd gotten pretty creative… especially in the Sex and Mockery stage. And there was that one time, in the conference room–Meredith mentally shook away those thoughts. Focus, Mere, focus.
"No, it was after. I had to use the bathroom, and it was dark, and instead of opening the bathroom door, I opened the apartment door and fell down the stairs."
"Oh, no." Edwards gasped.
"Yeah, two flights! Buddy slept right through it. His neighbor found me. Ah, ah!" she grimaced as Meredith probed her upper left quadrant.
"That hurt?" Meredith frowned. Hm, it could be her spleen.
"And the guy you were with?" Edwards asked.
"It was one of those one-night things. He'll just think I ducked out in the middle of the night."
Meredith nodded as she listened, pouring on some gel for the ultrasound. She'd done a lot of one-night stands back in the day, too.
"Oh my God! My pants are still on his floor!" giggled Holly.
It reminded Meredith of a few times she left… unmentionables where they shouldn't be. God, was it weird that she missed it? Sex? Of course she missed Derek, but now she's a mother, a surgeon. A relationship would be out of the question.
A technician walked in with the X-ray film and gave it to Edwards, who gave it a good look, noting the fracture lines on the ulna and radius. "I'm sorry, but it looks like you've broken your arm in two places."
"And there's free fluid in the left upper quadrant," Meredith added. It was a good indicator for surgery, but they'd need a CT to check the severity.
"Oh, come on…" Holly whimpered.
"Okay, let's get you up for a scan," Meredith said. And then she shivered, remembering the hot sex she had with Derek just down the hall in an exam room. Dammit. There's no time for sex, much less a guy or a relationship. Right?
xxx
An empty exam room was the last place she would have expected to see Owen run off to, but when he darted in there like a scared kitten, it troubled her. Amelia checked to see if anyone else would chase after him, but no one followed. After a moment, she crept up to the doorway and peered in.
His back was to her as he leaned on a gurney for support.
"Owen?"
He pivoted to face her, but didn't respond. His blue gaze bored through her so much she almost turned around to see what he was looking at. She forced a few steps forward instead. "Owen?"
His forehead was shiny with sweat, his pupils were dilated, and he appeared short of breath. PTSD? Panic attack? Dammit, she wished she knew him better. It was like he was somewhere else, seeing something else. She should have insisted on staying home with him. His palpable distress could only be because of Megan.
"Owen, breathe. You need to breathe."
He didn't acknowledge her presence, but his shoulders rose and his chest heaved as he tried to take in more air. "It's okay, you're okay," she said. "Breathe." She waited a beat for her words to reach him. "Owen, do you know where you are?"
"I-I-" He blinked rapidly.
Amelia stepped closer, encouraged by his response.
His gaze shifted all around the room, except on her. "Seattle. I-I'm home," he said.
"Yes, that's right."
"Amelia."
"I'm here. It's okay. Breathe."
Owen's expressive face betrayed nearly every emotion as he worked through his experience. He was trapped somewhere in a desert of his own making. It couldn't possibly be pleasant.
"I-Nathan-" he panted. "He's dead. H-he saved her, and he-"
"Okay… Okay," Amelia soothed. Cautiously, she took his hand in hers. Once she made contact, she massaged his metacarpals with her thumb. "Shhh." Someone died to save Megan? She couldn't imagine. "Who's Nathan?"
"Closest thing I have to a brother.- My best– He- he- they were engaged."
She said nothing. Just continued rubbing. Moving her hand up and down his arm to soothe him as she tried to comprehend what horror he might've seen. It occured to her, strangely, that she'd been lucky. Despite her own personal losses of her father and brother, she'd been spared from witnessing the violence that took them.. She was lucky. "Owen, I'm so sorry."
"I hated him. I- But she- I left. I went to get a stretcher and-" Owen continued to speak, trying to make sense of it all. And she continued to hold him as he mumbled incoherently into her shoulder.
"I'm paging Webber. We should get you home."
xxx
Alex stared at the folder Pruitt had given him. Then he stared at the list of departing flights at Sea-Tac. Incoming planes roared above him. His phone buzzed in his pocket for the third time. Meredith. He ignored it, his attention on the photo and brief synopsis Dan Pruitt had offered him. Paul Stadler was speaking at a medical conference in L.A.
When his phone signaled a voicemail message, he didn't check. It was probably Meredith screaming at him to get his ass back there. But he didn't want to. He was going to find Paul, and–
"Next in line!"
"Hi. I need to get on the next flight to L.A.," he said, pulling out his credit card and ID.
xxx
April kneeled to get close to her patient's eye level. The boy, Liam, had been brought to her by Arizona, seeing as how Alex had taken some personal time and most of the other Pedes attendings were busy. The eight-year-old was complaining of headaches and general sickness, and while Arizona and a socialworker discussed finding his parents, April focused on her patient.
"Is it sharp, like stabbing… or throbbing like a ball bouncing against your head?" April asked him as he sat in a bean bag chair the Pede's area.
"It just hurts," Liam said. "Sometimes I feel like I've been spinning."
"Like you're dizzy?"
He nodded.
God, April thought, he was barely older than Noah. And where were his parents? They should be here. He looked healthy and well looked after, he must belong to somebody.
He'd told Arizona that he had no parents, but she wasn't sure she believed that. Liam was healthy and generally clean. So someone was looking after him. "Can you tell us who takes care of you?"
"Charlotte."
Charlotte, interesting name. "And where do you and Charlotte live?" She dug, trying to get as much information from him as she could.
"On a farm."
April smiled, remembering days with her dad, helping out on her own farm. She was a farm girl herself. "You got any animals?"
"A rat, a goose, a sheep…"
Ah. Yes, the characters fro Charlotte's web. He was making things up off a story book, how clever. How sad. "Let me guess, a pig?"
The boy nodded.
"All right, you stay here for a minute okay?" She stood up to talk to Brooks and the hospital social worker. "All right, something's going on neurologically, we have to get him a head CT," she told them.
"Well we can't. Not without consent." The caseworker said.
"But how do we find his parents?" Brooks asked.
"We've already placed a call out to the police regarding missing kids."
"He's got clean clothes, seems well-nourished. I'm sure his parents are looking for him." April said.
Suddenly Brook's eyes widened. "He's seizing!"
"Liam!" April called.
Liam shook spastically in his chair, sliding out. April lowered him to the floor and turned him on his side to prevent choking. "Get me something for his head! Brooks, I need two of Lorazepam, and a loading dose of Keppra! And page Neuro!" Dammit, this was much more serious than she thought. Where were his parents, and how the hell did he just walk to a hospital by himself?
xxx
Meredith swivelled in her chair while Edwards assisted Holly into the machine for her scan. She clicked her pen, pondering something. For the first time since bringing Anna and Zola home, she felt… restless? Nostalgic? She wasn't sure. Was she craving sex? Maybe. Or maybe–
"Maggie!" she called over her sister, who was passing by.
"Hi," Maggie sauntered over. "What's up?"
Meredith shrugged. "Possible Splenectomy," she said. "Any plans tonight?" she asked.
"Working on some cases, that's all. Why?"
"I um…" she couldn't believe she was saying this- "WannagotoJoe'stonight?"
"To Joe's?" Maggie frowned, "Why?"
"Uh… just you know, hang out, maybe meet some people." A guy maybe.
"Meet some people?"
Wait. What was she thinking? What was she saying? No. No, no, no… bad idea! "Uh, you know what? Nevermind. Forget I said anything." Meredith had enough going on in her life already. She didn't need this.
"No, I–What is that?" Maggie exclaimed, looking at the CT image coming up on the screen.
Meredith swivelled back, pressing the intercom as she did so. "Hey Holly, how's it going?"
"Hey, I just remembered, I should probably mention—"
"Your giant heart tumor?" Maggie said.
"Yeah, just ignore that. It's just something I have."
xxx
Getting Owen home was a strange experience. His movements and expression had turned blank and robotic. In the parking lot, he simply handed her his truck keys and hopped into the passenger side, not trusting himself to drive.
Now at Meredith's, Amelia settled him on the couch. "Owen, what can I do? How can I help?"
He shook his head. "I-I don't know. I don't know."
Amelia drummed her fingers on her knees. She wasn't good at this. Comforting people. Being there for them, but she had to do this. She wanted to do this. "Well, okay. What about… um- your parents know, right? About Megan?"
"I can't tell my mom. I don't even know. Megan might be…" Owen panted.
Dead? God, she hoped not. "Okay, okay," she patted his back.
"I left. I left her, and–"
Amelia drew a breath. Owen wasn't thinking straight. He needed her to take charge.
"Okay. If she was medevacked out, what are the most probable places?"
"First, to the nearest field hospital to stabilise her for transport. Then… probably Germany."
"Germany? Where?"
"Landstuhl."
"Okay." Amelia nodded. Landstuhl. Right. What was the number for that? How would she contact them? Then it occured to her that Owen himself probably knew.
"Um…give me your phone."
"My phone?"
"Can I see it, please?" she held out her hand, insisting. He handed it over.
She tapped the screen. "Someone's been trying to reach you," she said. "Who's Teddy?"
xxx
April stood at the nurse's desk outside Liam's room as she entered some information into Liam's chart. Handing it back to the nurse, she watched him and his parents reconnect.
"Hey," Lexie approached, "The parents are here?"
"Yeah," said April. "It just took a few phone calls and some social work magic," she said.
The two of them approached the room, waiting outside the door for the parents to exit.
"Thank you so much for finding us," Marie said. "We were so worried."
"We called the school, we called his friends, we drove everywhere." David said, wrapping his arms around his wife.
April sighed, "I understand." She knew the worry of a parent as much as they did. Noah had given them a couple of scares himself.
"He said he took the train here," Marie said, teary-eyed. "We live an hour away."
April caught Lexie's slight nod. It was time for the news. "When Liam arrived, he was complaining of headaches and dizziness. He had a seizure while we were examining him. We took a CT to see what was going on."
She turned to Lexie. "This is Dr. Grey, a neurosurgeon. She'll explain more."
Lexie stepped up. "Uh, David, Marie, Liam has a very large tumor called a pituitary adenoma, and he's going to need brain surgery."
Shock and worry creased the parents' faces. David took his wife's hand.
"I'm sorry," Lexie whispered.
"Is that why he's been getting these headaches? Why he's been so tired?" Marie asked.
"Yes."
"When can we take him home?" David asked.
"Well, that depends on how quickly the brain swelling goes down after surgery. Most patients can be released within–"
"No. Liam won't have the surgery. Or anything else. No more needles, no scans." David said.
What? April looked up in shock.
"We don't believe in that sort of intervention." Marie said.
"I'm not sure you understand what you're saying here," said Lexie, "If Liam goes home without treatment, his symptoms will get worse. He could die."
"No, Doctor, he won't," David said. "Not if it's God's will. So thank you for respecting our beliefs. Now, how soon can you discharge my son?"
April exchanged glances with Lexie and pursed her lips. She knew there were religious groups devoted to faith healing. And she, herself, had experienced a miracle. Would God perform a miracle here with Liam? Gently she rubbed her belly.
She wanted to believe Liam would be healed. She wanted it with all her heart. But what, exactly, was God's will in this?
"Dr. Kepner," Lexie said, "Can I speak to you a moment?"
April turned to her colleague and followed her out of earshot of the parents.
"So April, I'm thinking if we can convince them to have us run one more blood test, maybe we can convince them to let Liam stay another night. His tumor is likely to cause more symptoms, and–"
"No," April said. "We can't. We have to respect their wishes."
"Their wishes? That if they pray hard enough and often enough, that the tumor will just go away?"
"Yes. Whether you believe in God or not, Lexie, we have to respect their wishes."
"What about our patient's wish? Liam came all the way here, on a train. Do you think maybe he knows their prayers or whatever aren't working?"
"And you're qualified to know God's will?"
"Are you? Look, just because you got a miracle doesn't mean everyone else will."
What? What did that mean? "Lexie–"
"At this point, legally, we can't keep him here. You can discharge him, April. I hope God answers their prayers, cause if he doesn't, what sort of God is he?"
xxx
"So you have some bleeding from a spleen laceration," Meredith told her sex-crazed patient. "I'd like to try and do something called a splenic embolization so that we can repair it without doing surgery–"
"I'm in. Surgery would only slow me down." Holly agreed.
"Well, as for your heart tumor–" Maggie said, bringing up the scans.
"Oh yeah, left atrial sarcoma. It's inoperable. I've got less than a year left. It's okay."
"Inoperable means different things to different surgeons."
Meredith eyed her sister and raised a brow. If Holly was sex-crazed, Maggie was tumor-crazed. Meredith thought it was adorable, though she only wanted what was best for her patient, and what was best was subject to interpretation at this point.
"I've seen six surgeons, so I know the stages… can we just skip it?"
"I know it's complicated but–"
"Yeah, how long am I laid up till my spleen heals? How long till I can, you know, get back in the saddle?" Holly pushed on.
"Depends on the saddle," Meredith smirked.
"This fall really put a kink in my plans, and not the good kind of kink," she winked. "I'd like to have sex with as many men as I care to until my tumor tells me I can't."
"Impressive," Meredith said. Ah, 'Carpe Diem' sex. That was how she met Derek. That was how she fell in love. That was probably how Anna was conceived– "Well, if there are no complications, you should be 'back in the saddle' in a few days, maybe a week."
"Okay… any chance we could shave that down?"
Meredith chuckled. "Edwards, get her prepped and book the cath lab."
"Holly," Maggie said, "I just think–"
"I know, I get it , I really do, Dr. Pierce. I'm sorry to disappoint. I just want to have a good time and not be cooped up in a hospital, okay?"
Maggie sighed. "I understand, but I'm still gonna look over the scans."
Meredith met Maggie outside Holly's room as she updated the chart. "You're just as bad as she is," she remarked.
"What?"
"You want that tumor like she wants sex. It's quite funny."
"Well, I want her to live, not just jump the bones of every guy in sight."
"I know, I get it," Meredith smiled.
"You didn't seem to when we were in there. Why didn't you back me up?"
Meredith shrugged. "Hearts aren't my thing," she said. "Besides, if I was her, I'm not sure I'd want the surgery either."
"You'd just wanna run around and have sex with random men till you drop dead?"
"Well, when you put it that way, no," she said. "I just–"
"I'm gonna go take another look at Holly's tumor. If I can show her a plan, maybe she'll agree to the surgery."
"Good luck," Meredith said. But as she watched Maggie walk away, she couldn't stop the nagging realization. It wasn't sex that she craved after all. It was… after. Wrapped up in someone's arms, being loved.
She missed that. She wanted that.
Dammit.
xxx
On the elevator, Arizona checked her schedule. Her day had started out good, but now, things with her patients had gotten complicated, and it was driving her nuts.
Just then, the elevator dinged, and Callie jumped in.
"Hey!" Callie beamed excitedly.
Crap. She was going to send a text, but now she'll have to break their plans in-person, and she couldn't bear to see Callie sad.
"Hey. I can't get together tonight," she said.
"Oh. Okay," Callie said, "no big deal." Clearly, though, she was disappointed.
"I just, I have a patient who's in labor with a baby with CDH, and I'm gonna be here all night. I'm so sorry."
"Of course. I understand. Just… I was looking forward to it." Callie sighed.
"I know. Me too." She was telling the truth. The last few weeks had been crazy, full of awkward attempts at getting back together, at making things right again without resorting to blame or shame. And today, she'd held the vaguest hope that they might be able to overcome these barriers. She wanted to go back to the way things were, but was scared that her wife might never completely trust her. In fact, she was scared right now that she didn't.
"I look for you," Callie said finally. "All day. When I turn a corner, when I pass by one of the scan rooms… getting on an elevator. I look for you. I just… want to feel my heart flutter and my palms sweat, like they used to, when we first met. I miss you."
"You do?" Arizona asked, bewildered.
"Yeah."
Arizona turned to face Callie. "I can't wait for our naked plans. But one more night of anticipation doesn't have to be the worst thing." She took Callie's hand in hers and rubbed it softly. She leaned in and pressed up against her, their lips almost touching until the elevator bell dinged and the door opened to her floor. Slowly, she pulled away, never breaking eye contact.
xxx
April found Jackson in imaging, looking at several scans of a mangled hand. "Oooh," she cringed. "Looks nasty."
"Partial deglovement, broken bones, extreme tissue and nerve damage. A 27-year-old got his hand jammed in a revolving door."
"So… reconstruction?" she asked. The patient was young, and no doubt wanted full use of his hand. Amputation should be the last resort.
"It's close, but yeah, we wanna give him a chance," Jackson said, jotting down some notes.
"Yeah." April nodded. She closed her eyes, tired. Her baby kicked and pushed and rolled inside her, and she followed her movements as she sat on her husband's lap.
"Hey." He hugged her. "You okay?"
"I don't know, Jackson."
His arms tensed around her, and his brow furrowed in worry. "What's wrong? Is it the baby?"
"No, she's fine. I… " Her patient, Liam, his parents, Lexie's words, God, and her own faith… was pushing her off kilter. She needed Jackson's calm presence to ground her.
He rubbed her back. "What?"
She leaned against his chest, thinking. "We got a miracle," she said.
"Yeah, we did."
Would Liam get a miracle? What if he didn't? Did questioning God mean a lack of faith? Did it mean he wouldn't get healed? "Some people, a lot of people, don't get miracles, and it… it doesn't make sense."
"Oh, April. What happened?"
"Nothing. Yet. I just really hope God answers this family's prayers."
"Hey, come here." He pulled her close, scratching her lightly with his beard.. "It's okay. It's gonna be okay."
She hoped so, she really hoped so.
xxx
The plane touched down in L.A. and Alex took a cab to the Marriott. The Minimally Invasive Surgery Conference was tomorrow. His phone rang again. Jo this time. Alex waited till it stopped ringing, waited for the voicemail notification, and then he sent her a quick text.
'I'm fine. Me and you are fine. Just went on a short trip. Be back in a couple days. I love you.'
It wasn't enough reassurance for Jo, he knew, but he didn't know what else to tell her right now. He did not know what he was going to do when he set eyes on the bastard.
He put his phone away and approached the front desk. "Yeah, I'd like to book a room for the night, please."
xxx
Amelia watched Owen as she spoke on the phone in German. She'd tried initially to contact Teddy, but there'd been no answer, so now she was navigating call menus to get to the correct department where Megan might be. "Nein, ich versuche jetzt den status den patienten zu finden. Danke."
"You speak German?" Owen asked.
She'd learned immersion-style during a semester abroad in her undergraduate studies. She was about to answer when someone picked up the other line. "Hallo?"
"Yes," She said, switching to English this time, betting that the receptionist on the other line would be proficient in English, seeing this was a military hospital. "I'm calling on behalf of Major Owen Hunt. I'm looking for a patient." Knowing that it would be best to get answers from someone they knew, she took a chance. "Is there a Dr. Altman there?"
Owen lifted his head from his hands, taking a keen interest in the conversation now.
"I'll check. Can you hold?"
"Yes, I'll hold."
As she waited, she offered him a glass of water, but he refused. She took a sip herself instead. Her mouth was dry. She was worried. For Megan, for him. What would he do if Megan was dead? What would she do? She didn't want to think about it.
"Hello?" A brusk voice said on the other side.
"Dr. Altman? This is Amelia Shepherd from Grace-Shepherd Memorial."
"Amelia Shepherd?"
"I work with Owen Hunt–"
"Owen?" Suddenly, the voice changed from confused to almost frantic. "Is he there? Is he okay? Can I speak to him?"
"One sec," Amelia pulled the phone away and offered it to Owen. "It's Teddy. She wants to speak to you."
Owen stared at the phone with the same horror a recovering alcoholic would have to a bottle of Scotch. "No-" he shook his head.
Amelia tried again, but Owen averted his gaze to the floor and held his hands over his head.
"Uh, he won't-"
Teddy sighed. "It's okay, he's probably triggered."
"Oh uh, yeah."
"Okay, well, tell him… Megan's still in critical condition. She's had a couple surgeries, but there are a lot of complications. She's hanging in there. He can come see her anytime, though. He should come."
"Hang on," Amelia said. "Owen, Megan's alive. Teddy says she's hanging in there. Did you want to go to Landstuhl and see her?"
He looked terrified. He blinked slowly and swallowed, slowly shaking his head.
"I don't-" she told Teddy, "I don't know."
There was a long pause. Amelia thought she heard Teddy curse under her breath. "Well, what if we brought her there?"
xxx
A/N: More soon! It's been really interesting parsing through old Grey's episodes to work with the storylines I have with these characters. Comments? Thoughts? I feel this story could literally go on forever… As I've finished college, I feel I can update a little more frequently, though I have no guarantees. I do still intend on finishing all my stories, so stay tuned!