First thing: I am sorry i update that late and you guys had to wait ... But I have more free time now and this story will go on ;o)
Have fun reading and enjoy!
I lost conscious from time to time, but finally woke up when we drove through the gate. Carl closed it behind us while Rick stopped the car in front of the prison. I was too weak and too tired to open the car so I just sat there watching the others making their way to the prison. Sure Maggie was caring for Glenn to see Hershel, Rick was eager to see his son and Michonne didn't care about anyone. With tired eyes I watched Maggie nodding towards me and Michonne replied something but I didn't hear what she said.
Carol awaited the others. I saw her talking to Rick and her face turned suddenly sad. Rick must have told her that Daryl was off with his brother. He took her into his arms. So there was something going on between her and Daryl … All I wanted to do was turn and run. I couldn't stay here being a leftover. The whole time I was with Daryl or Glenn, now Daryl was gone and Glenn was hurt. Somehow I felt like Daryl's remains.
I watched them all walking towards the prison. With great effort I opened the door and stepped out into sun light. But I didn't go to the prison. I stood there alone next to the car, feeling miserable … and it wasn't just because of my wound.
"You need help too." Michonne suddenly appeared next to the car. Had she been waiting for me? "You're still bleeding." I looked at my right hand, there was still blood on it from when I had touched my wounded hip. I examined her like she did it with me before. She needed a doctor too, looking all beaten up.
"Mind your own business." I didn't think I had the strength to move, but I tried anyway. Turning around I made a few steps towards the gate propping myself on the car.
"He didn't leave you. Told us to get you back to grandpa." When I turned hardened eyes looked at me. She was like a terminator, looking hard and cold but her words sounded different … they were kind of nice. "He cares about you no matter what you think!"
"Maybe …" … about the outside, but not the inside, my thoughts silently whispered.
"Whatever you say!" Her voice was suddenly warm while her face still showed no emotion. She reminded me of Daryl and again my heart ached. I didn't want to feel hurt no more. I didn't want to be left and I definitely didn't want to feel this pain in my heart no more. I would fight and I would never ever feel vulnerable again. You fell for him! Why are you so reluctant?
Everything went blurry and I fell to the side. I didn't feel any pain as my body met the ground. When I opened my eyes Michonne was at my side. "Told you, you need help." Did I see her smile? She tried to help me up, but I fought her back and sat up shaking. Michonne walked away and I looked to the gate where the street led into the wildness of death in which Daryl had disappeared. Foggy shades surrounded me, as if another smoke bomb had been fired, but I pushed it all away. I stood up to walk towards the gate. I needed Daryl to know that I was strong, that I could live with him and his brother in the woods. I made a step, almost fell down, but walked on anyways. Suddenly someone grabbed me from behind. "Ella, no!" It was Maggie. Suddenly I felt desperate and bad. I couldn't go out there, I was weak and it wouldn't prove anything.
Maggie's emotional voice was almost crying. "Ella." She hugged me tight. "He told us to make sure you'll be okay. Daryl almost pleaded Rick to look after you."
I started crying too. "No." I whispered.
"Don't you understand? He cares so much for you, wanted you safe and medicated!"
"No …" I said again while Maggie pulled me with her to the prison.
"You need to be treated!" I was like a ghost in her arms, my eyes were still at the gate. The door to the prison was opened and I didn't even care when we disappeared in the darkness.
We passed Carol who looked sad as if she had cried. She pulled me into a short hug. I looked over her shoulder and saw four strangers. "Who are these people?" I was afraid but powerless and too weak to react. The strangers stood up, but Carol pulled me with her to our sleeping cells. Carl closed and locked the gate to the corridor behind us. "Who are these people?" I said again with a scared touch in my voice.
Carol took me into a cell and began to inspect my wound. "That looks bad." She totally ignored my question and pushed me back on the mattress. I was about to ask her again when Hershel entered. "Let me take a look!" I just closed my eyes and breathed hard. This was a fucking day. I lost Daryl, saw Phillip again and Andrea was alive sleeping with mad-psycho Phillip. What would happen next? I opened my eyes in shock, realizing that he knew where we lived now. I needed to be patched up fast, I needed to be ready, ready to fight. I realized my eyes were still closed when I wanted to look at Hershel. It was hard to open my eyes and when I finally looked at my friends, Carol left the cell as Judith started to scream. Without moving, my eyes wandered to Hershel. "How bad is it?"
"In comparison to what had happened to the rest of your body before … you'll be fine!" He smiled. Did he made a joke about me being wounded before? I smiled back and closed my eyes again. It felt good to close eyes and rest. I needed to sleep, regain strength. I felt him operating on my wound and in the far distance I could hear Beth's and Carol's voices.
"Why did Daryl leave?" Beth asked her. How should Carol know, she wasn't there. "Sounds like a jerk." What the hell did she know …
"He is his brother …" Carol sounded sad. She probably felt as hurt as I did. "He maybe feels like he deserves the abuse." Thinking about her words I remembered Merle abusing Daryl all the time at camp, but he had abused everyone. That had seemed to be his nature. Why should Daryl choose his abusing brother over his caring family? I was near crying over the situation, but suppressed the tears.
"But I thought that he would never leave us … leave her." She seemed to pause and none of them talked on. Were they talking about me? "I will never forget the way he carried her in his arms. The look in his eyes when Daddy told us about her …" She suddenly fell silent. Did Carol silence her?
"Okay!" Hershel stood up. He interrupted me listening to the conversation and the Females didn't talk on. "I'll go look after Glenn." I hadn't felt anything when he had stitched me up. Maybe I was used to the pain, maybe I was just numb. He walked out and Maggie walked in, sitting down next to me. "How do you feel?"
"Fine." I answered, my wounds were treated. I was fine, while she looked depressed. "Why aren't you with Glenn?" She shook her head and started to clean away the dried blood on her arms with a towel. "What happened back there Maggie?"
"Ella, you should know that Daryl …" her eyes were fixed on the towel in her hands. "… He didn't leave you." She paused, exhaling loudly. "He wanted to keep you alive. In the woods wouldn't be any help for you, no one to treat your wound." Now she turned to look at me. "You know it was the right thing to do, do you?!"
"To leave me?" I spat at her.
"No, to save your life." She returned in the same harsh tone that I had been talking.
"He chose Merle over …" I wanted to say me, but didn't give into the feeling. "… his family. Here he would be safe. Now he is out with his fucking brother fighting to survive." Tears filled my eyes but I held them back once again. What about all the crying? I didn't see any point in shedding a tear about things that had already happend and couldn't be changed. Felt like I grew up a little more each day I was in here. Maggie touched my hand carefully, smiling with watery eyes. "No matter what you say Ella, but I think this is his way to show he loves you." I froze and she stood up. "Rest Ella. You should sleep!" And with that she was gone.
Love me? Why the hell is everyone talking about love lately … I rolled to the side, facing the wall. Love? No, maybe that he cares, but not love. That would be too much for a Dixon, besides I didn't think that such feelings existed in this family. After all he was a man … a Dixon man. And this was the apocalypse, there was no love. Keep telling that yourself Ella, but that's what you wanted to hear all the time. He was right, but it hurt that Daryl left me anyways … I tried hard to concentrate to shut my brother's voice out and think of something else. My thoughts went to Maggie. I didn't want to envision what had happened in Woodbury. She was captive of Phillip, anything could have happened. I wanted to stand up, but I was too weak and way too tired.
The others seemed to gather in the hallway outside my cell. I wanted to join them, but there was no way I could move. So I could just listen to them talking about the group outside. After a while I heard Rick screaming. "Get out!" Again and again he screamed. What the hell did happen out there?
I was restricted to bed and tired. I would ask later … if I would wake up again. I somehow felt heavy, as if there was a weight on me that tried to press me into the bed and stifle me. I gave in to the feeling of sleep, not caring about if I would see the next day or not.
to Glenn made this world so much easier. He was funny and a kind hearted soul. I watched him talking about his job and how much he wanted a sports car. I just smiled, happy he wasn't asking about my face. It was still red and light blue from when Ed had slapped me. "What happened to your face?" And all of a sudden the normal feeling was gone.
I tried a smile. "I am clumsy as hell."
"I know." He didn't smile, he seemed really caring. "But this is not you." He pointed at my face. "Did Merle slap you?"
My eyes went big. "No!" I looked to the lake in front of us. We had been here quite a while now and still no fish. Our fishing rods seemed like useless sticks. I watched the string of my stick disappearing in the water.
"Who hurt you like that? Was it Shane, Daryl or Ed?" He wouldn't stop until I told him. The few weeks we had been together now seemed like half of my life. Glenn and Amy seemed like family, already knowing me better than my own family.
"I tried to stop Ed and Shane." I said in a low voice. Replaying the situation in my mind … what had been going on in my mind? How could I possibly stop these guys, half size of these men?
"You little kid tried to stop them … from what?" He laughed under curious eyes.
"From fighting." I answered. Glenn stopped laughing and looked at me with a wired glance before he started laughing again, even louder than before. "You really are suicidal." His laughter was infectious and I joint him.
"I honestly don't know what got into me." Tears left my eyes, tears of joy and happiness. I was happy I could laugh in a world like this and did it with a friend I found in this fucking world. I didn't know what could have happened to me when I would've never met them on my way to Atlanta.
"When I see your face like that, I would say your mission from stopping them went bad."
"Daryl helped me out." I said with a smile.
"You mention his name quite often these days." He said with a knowing glance in his eyes. What did he know?
"Screw you Glenn. You're sneak around Amy." Did I see a light reddish shadow on his cheeks? "I see you starring at her when she is tanning." I said with a laugh.
"She's not bad to look at." Now he smiled too. Suddenly my fishing rod went crazy. "A fish!"
We both jumped for the fishing rod and pulled at it. I never thought it would be that hard. I wished we had taken Andreas fishing rod, but she wasn't at camp and I didn't want to take her things, when she wasn't around. When we finally got the fish out of the water, I wondered it was so small. We both looked at it and started laughing again. I looked to the others side, where Amy and Andrea were making a boot ready. I saw them having fishing rods. Maybe they could borrow us one.
"I'll ask Andrea and Amy for a real fishing rod." I started walking towards the girls. "We need to bring home some fish!" I smiled back at him.
"Don't fall into the water, Clumsy." He shouted after me.
Ignoring his words, I jogged towards the girls. But Amy and Andrea were already on the water, paddling in the other direction. Should I call their names? No, they need time for themselves too, just like me and Glenn. Escape the harsh world just a few minutes.
I slowly stopped and looked back to Glenn, who was just a small figure in the distance. I was alone. I watched the trees next to me, no walker around, no wild animal, just me. I sighed and realized I had some time for myself too. I sat down in the warm sand, leaning my back against a tree. I closed my eyes and breathed in deep. Isn't it nice to just listen to the wind breeze in the trees and the small waves sliding over the sand? I smiled to his words, nodding in agreement.
I heard a splash. That could not have been a small wave at all. I opened my eyes to see Daryl in the water. I would never have thought he would be the kind of guy swimming in the lake. He stood there with his shirt still on. Maybe he was washing his clothes this way. I suppressed a laugh. My eyes never left his body, eager to know what lay beneath the shirt. Since he was hunting all the time, he seemed quite active. He must have muscles as hell holding this heavy crossbow. I leaned forwards as if it could help to see him better. He was wetting his hair and I never thought something like that could look so sexy. I felt warm, I must be blushing and I felt like a peeper.
Suddenly he turned as if he had heard me blushing. Our eyes locked. He didn't seem mad, he just starred at me. It was awkward and I didn't know what to do.
"Are ya waitin' for a strip?" I looked to the side where Merle was staying. Why was his voice so rough? "I tell ya to run lil' miss bad ass. Darlinya will never touch ya." I abruptly stood up due to the mean tone of his. When he began to talk, I slowly stepped backwards. "But ya can have a ride with me …" He stopped and I was glad he didn't end the sentence. Merle turned to me. "Your face looks like shit."
"Well thanks for the compliment." I tried to ignore him. He had turned to me and I could see him staring at me from the corner of my eye.
"I have some nice colorful pills that will make ya look pretty again." Now I looked at Merle who seemed to be stoned, his eyes were all red. He suddenly grabbed after me and leaned forward. "I can give ya the best trip of your life."
He was not all talking about drugs I thought and stepped back. "No thanks." Now he grew mad and screamed at me. "Ya bitch." He started to undo his belt. I grew anxious and wanted to turn and run, when he grabbed me hard. "That will be the best thing ya ever had."
"No!" I screamed back at him. "To hell with you!" But he just laughed. Behind him I saw Daryl running out of the water. His trousers, his shirt and his hair were wet. He reminded me of the Davidoff commercial, he was all hot.
Daryl grabbed the arm with which Mere held me tight and pushed him back. "Ya all high bro."
Merle seemed irritated. "Let me rid this big tits whore, than you can have her! It'll be fun."
Daryl ignored his brother and turned his back to him to look at me. "Ya okay?"
"Seems like you saved my ass pretty often the last days." I smirked.
"Ya a lot of work woman." He returned. "Why don't ya just stay at camp with the other women!" He was referring to the housework they were all doing.
"That's not where I belong." I insisted.
Merle propped himself on Daryl's shoulder. "Ya don't belong to us either." That one hurt. The last days we had come along pretty good. Were the drugs talking out of him? He was a total different person. "We are blood. Ya're just …"
"Ya should go." Daryl told me. "Merle is out of control when he is high like that." I nodded. The caring tone in his voice was clarion. "Stay at the camp where others can watch over ya when I am busy handling Merle." He said and turned to his brother.
Was he saying he was watching over me? I slowly walked back to Glenn. The words of Daryl were replaying in my mind. Did that mean our incidental encounter hadn't been that incidentally? I took one last glance over my shoulder, watching Daryl handling Merle. Daryl seemed to be full of surprises, a mysterious person after all. Sometimes he was nice, sometimes an asshole. But some day I would discover what lies behind this tough shell.
I hope you like the flashbags. I want to show how the relationship between Ella and Daryl might have went when she wouldn't have sneaked out. But there is still a lot to come. ^^
See you guys next week (hopefully)