Hey guys, a new chapter woohoo :o) Nice to see new readers and followers her. Have fun reading!

I took the gun from under my mattress and put it into the back of my trousers. I pulled my grey shirt over it so it couldn't be seen. Looking at the knife on my bed, memories flashed in front of my eyes. How Daryl had given the knife to me, how the knife had saved my life … I took it into my hand, my eyes tracing the fine blade, finally I slid it into my right boot. I looked down on me, on my skinny jeans and my grey long-sleeve shirt. These colors were light, maybe too light … I sighed and took the backpack I borrowed from Carl. I had a robe stowed in it, an extra huge knife, a lighter, and a bottle of water. I went for the door of my little cell, my room, my home.

I looked back to my bed, an actual bed … Carl had brought me some cushions and Maggie had hung up the blanket so I wouldn't see the bars. Bars … I wasn't afraid of cold steel anymore. I had pushed this feelings of fear aside, they weren't useful at all. My friends had made me a home … a prison but still a bit of a homelike feeling. My new family had done so much for me … and on the other hand they had left me behind twice. My heart was a pool of emotions I couldn't swim in. But it made it easier for me to leave, to do what had to be done.

Sighing I went silently through the corridor, entered the kitchen room where Beth was singing to the baby. The baby seemed to like her beautiful voice, it almost never cried in her arms. I went out and was met by a warm breath of fresh air. Everybody was getting ready for a fight I hoped would never come.

First I wanted to go through the main gate, but Carl stood there with Michonne. I could almost feel her looking at me with small eyes. So I went right for the double fences. No one was around, it was my chance to sneak out. They wouldn't come after me, it was too dangerous to leave the prison now. I knew Glenn was out making traps or something like that. Everybody was busy, that was my chance … Entering the zone between the two fences I looked for the hole in the fence I knew Rick had made when he had returned with Merle and Daryl. Glenn had told me he had fixed it with some wire.

I found to the place where the fence was repaired. I could open the wire and close it easily and no zombie could come in. The wire was pretty tight, but with more strength I could do it. My left arm was finally useful again, but not that much useable. Anyways, I could push the wire enough to go through.

"Always up to no good." His low voice echoed in my whole body.

"I am checking the fences!" I lied and stopped to open the wire.

"Hell ya are!" Suddenly he was talking like his brother. The nasty undertone seemed to be hiding Daryl's caring tone.

"Why do you come over? Check my work?" I closed the hole again.

"Ya're talking more shit than before."

I stood up and looked him in the eye. Normally he would hide behind his shaggy hair or look aside, but he starred at me with a small almost invisible smile. "What do you know?"

"I know that Glenn fixed this in the morning while ya slept all curled up in ya bed."

"You pick-a-booh me?" Straitening my back I threw the backpack over my shoulder. Trying to change the subject seemed to work, Daryl looked over to Carl and Michonne. Maybe I'd got him by the topic watching me sleep. After all it was an intimate situation, this would shut him up. I needed to make him feel uncomfortable to leave me alone.

"This won't work!" Hell, that simple sentence got me. I felt like he just hit me, although I knew he was talking about me sneaking away, it felt as if he meant something different … us.

I almost dropped my chin. "What?"

"This is a fuckin' no-return-act." His eyes had fixed me and didn't let go. "I know what ya planning."

"You know nothing. I am fixing the fence, clearing it from zombies …" I walked passed him. "Don't know what you see." When I was one step behind him he reached for me, took my arm and turned me around.

"Ella!" The strength in his voice had so much power over me. I looked from his face to my arm were his hand held me.

"You just arrived, you don't know anything." I screamed at him in a low voice. He still didn't let go off me. "You left while the devil arrived." There was a distance between us, not a step but a heavy short history. I was mad and I knew he didn't know how to handle it. If I spat my anger in his face now, he would turn and go. If I would act like a girly jerk right now he would let go off me and leave me alone. "You …"

"Running to Woodbury now is not an option. They are waiting for us, preparing themselves too. Sneaking out never leads to liberation. It always drives ya away." Poetic Words from a man rarely talking. His grab around my arm tensed.

"What do you know?!" I needed to go now. Every bit of my body longed for Phillip to die. But my voice grew weaker, less powerful.

"I know he hurt ya." He said it with a stare which caught my breath.

"What …" But the moment I asked, the moment I remembered and realized: He knew …

"The devil ya talkin about … he will never ever come near ya." His words hurt, all the remembering hurt. "Ella, I swear …" Tears started to fill my eyes. I wanted to brake away, but as my voice my body had grown somehow less powerful.

"Don't … you broke your oath last time. There is no need for another 'ode to my pain'." My eyes went to the ground and I saw my teardrops falling down on the sand. Suddenly I felt heavy. I was about to leave, aware I might not return. Glenn would be mad, I had said I was on his side, that I would stick with him … now I would leave them all behind. I inhaled deeply. "Please let me go." I whispered. If I would stop now I was afraid I would never have the chance to.

"No." He said in a hard voice, like the one my father had used when I had wanted to ride the motorcycle with my brother. "The last time ya left almost got ya killed."

I sighed with a smile. "I had been dead." I felt his eyes on me. "Doc told me I died on the table, but he brought me back." I let out a short laugh. "They hadn't had energy for hours."

"Ya smiling about that?" He didn't seem to get the irony here … "Ya had been dead already, ain't that enough?!" His furious voice made me mad.

"It'll be enough when this bastard is dead." I almost screamed at him. I saw Carl behind Daryl looking up to us. I lowered my voice and clenched my fist.

"Ya're really suicidal." Why was he talking like it was all a joke? Than he suddenly pulled me into him. His arms around me were tensed that it almost hurt me. I allowed myself to enjoy it for a short time and closed my eyes. His breath was even and the warmth of his body extinguished my coldness. I almost hugged him back.

A weird growl took me back to reality and I saw a walker looking straight at me. Daryl immediately pushed me behind him protectively. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw Andrea standing right behind that ugly zombie. She had a stick in her hand which ended at the walker's throat. As if she was taking a dog out. Rick's voice echoed in the yard, screaming to back-up as he made his way down to us. All the others were behind him, guns raised. He reached Andrea. "Are you alone?" Andrea walked for the gate and Daryl went for it too. I was too surprised to see her that I couldn't move. The thought about her being dead was a shock to me, but I had come to terms with that. I had believed she was with Amy now. Than I had seen her in Woodbury. She had been alive and with Phillip. Another shock. Frozen to the ground I watched them meeting in the near distance. Rick opened the gate, let Andrea in while treating her like a criminal. There was one thing that got me … Michonne seemed to be taken aback too. You could see her surprised face, an emotion I had never seen on her before.

Curious I watched the reunion. Andrea's eyes suddenly focused on me, while all the others surrounded her. Rick grabbed her by the scruff of her neck and pulled her along, but she broke free and ran towards me. Everything happened really fast: Andrea running at me with arms open; Rick almost shooting her, but Daryl pushing his gun aside.

Andrea almost knocked me over and hugged me tight with wet eyes. "You're alive." She looked at me with a happy smile. "You are really alive!" She hugged me again that it hurt. "All the time I was worried if they would find you. I hadn't found you when the walkers overrun the farm, when they were all gone … but I knew Daryl would find you." They had left her behind … we got something in common here.

Daryl looked at me and I stared at him recalling Glenn's words about how Daryl had found me in the woods: He saw you first … knew it was you. I also heard Merle's voice in the back of my head, telling me Andrea was sleeping with Phillip. "But he didn't … Phillip found me first." By mentioning his name she stepped back and looked at me bewildered. "What?"

"There is more to know!" Rick grabbed her ungentle again and walked her to the prison. We all followed. Daryl was walking almost next to me, but we didn't talk nor looked at each other. My heartbeat fastened, only now I recognized he had hugged me, showed me some feelings and … he had found me in the woods. These things mad me forget why I avoided him …

I entered the prison last, watching Andrea and Carol hugging. When they departed Andrea stood in the middle of us. Like prey surrounded by lions. "Where is Shane?" Rick shook his head and all the others avoided Andreas questioning eyes. "And Lori?" No one but Hershel answered her, telling her about Lori's and our other friends' deaths. I wasn't listening to their conversation, I just saw Andrea's big eyes, Michonne's emotional face and Rick's hard features.

"And you live here in this cell block?" Andrea was about to walk into the corridor but Rick stopped her. When they argued I could see how much she had grown. She wasn't the women with fears anymore, she was tougher. The others were silent and seemed reluctant to hear Andrea out. "I cannot explain or excuse what Phillip has done, but we have to work this out."

"There is no working out!" Rick interrupted her. And he was right, there was no excuse why he had done the things he had done. I will never accept an excuse from this bastard. I just wanted him to suffer and pay. And somehow this seemed to be Rick's plan too. "We gonna kill him. I don't know how or when, but we will." Andrea was more than shocked about Rick's words. She tried badly to get us to talk to him, to figure it out. But no one of us would ever talk to him. "We can settle this. I want to help, there is enough space in Woodberry. We can live there together."

She knew nothing … I couldn't believe she wanted us to live with Phillip in an enclosed area. Hershel was the only one willing to think about Andrea's words. "What makes you think that? Does he want to negotiate?"

Andrea's sigh let us all know there was a big No to this question. "No."

And like a bullet Rick shot the next question. "Then why did you come here?"

She seemed horrified that we all were against her suggestion. "Because he is preparing for a war. The people are terrified. They see you as killers and train for an attack."

How come she tried to talk to us, instead of holding Phillip back? I still stood behind the group, behind Darryl who was sitting on the table. When he spoke up, he wasn't looking at her, but when he spoke the name Phillip, he spat it out with hate. "Tell your fellow Phillip I'm gonna take his other eye." His muscle was tensed and when Andrea turned to Rick to plead her story to him, Darryl turned to me. His glance was like a promise. If I wouldn't be the first one to kill Phillip, I knew he would take him down.

"Phillip has a whole town behind him. You guys can hardly stand. You have to sit down and talk to him Rick." He wasn't her opinion at all. And left the room. It was the same when Hershel had screamed after Rick, he hadn't turned or talked … and now he just left; left the problem to us. I watched how helpless Andrea looked around, searched for a face that would understand her, but we all had the same glance in our eyes. She made a step to Michonne who nodded and they went out.

We still stood together in silence. Everybody was processing what she had just told us. You could tell who was thinking what … Glenn was thinking about Phillip arming a whole town to attack us few people. Hershel seemed to wanna discuss the whole situation with Phillip … as if you could talk to that bastard. Carol was all emotional about Andrea. I was observing my friends, hoping every single person in this room would survive the upcoming showdown. I still had the feeling I wouldn't survive anything of this. Like in the yard, before Daryl had saved my life once again, a coldness surrounded my heart. I watched Daryl's back and felt the longing again, which I had suppressed the last days. I remembered his face when he and Glenn had found me, the awakening in the cell when he had been right next to me. He had always been there to safe my life. Suddenly everybody moved and went their way. Just Daryl didn't move at all and I was like frozen to the ground. We were almost alone except Merle, who went from the door to his brother. "Just tell her tha…" But the opening of the door interrupted his sentence and he looked to a red eyed Andrea. She looked at me, but Merle placed himself between us. "Come on tootsie, forgive and forget!?" She left without a word into the direction of our cells. Merle just laughed about it.

I heard her talking to Carol but still didn't move. I wanted to join their conversation, be part of my beloved ones … but my feet were glued to the ground like my eyes were glued to Darryl's back. What should I tell him, thank him? Why was it so hard to talk to him? Even I had sworn to myself before, to avoid him, my heart ached to talk to him.

Rick entered again, with Andrea's bag in his hand. "Where is she?" I nodded to the cells. "Good. We have a car for her. She can leave." What, leave? What if she wanted to stay? I hadn't had the chance to talk to her … Rick went for the cells and Daryl finally stood up.

He didn't turn to talk to me, instead he looked to the cells. "This will never happen again. I will protect you." I made a step forward, but again we were disturbed. Would there ever be a time we could just be left alone to talk? Andrea was about to leave the prison when she saw us. Her sad face turned into a sad smile. "So you found each other again." I gave her a sad smile too. "I always knew the both of you …" My eyes made her stop talking. And she looked irritated from me to Daryl. "Ella, I want to show you Woodbury, a peaceful place. The two of you could have your own …" Again I interrupted her and shook my head. "But Ella, we …"

"After I feigned death, Phillip and his friend left me to die. I was straying through the woods half dead when Daryl and Glenn found me. Hershel cockered me up and here I am. I found my friends at last."

"I'm happy for you Ella. I really am. I had nightmares about you … I am just glad you are fine. In Woodbury is a small hospital, maybe they can fix that." She pointed at my bloody shirt, ignoring my words. "I saw you going down when Merle hit you. I thought I saw wrong, but now that I am seeing you right in front of me, I …" Tears filled her eyes. "I just …" She looked at Daryl then at me again. "In Woodbury you can sleep in a real house, a real bed …"

"Andrea, this will never work." I told her in a low and steady voice. She didn't seem to stop to try to find a solution. Her eyes went back and forth between me and Daryl who stood next to me. She was too much into the psycho Phillip, that she didn't see his mad side. "Andrea, we have a lot in common …" I started, knowing she wouldn't like the end of my story. "We loved Amy, we lost her … We both got lost, and found our group at last." I took a deep breath. "And we both were touched by Phillip." Now I got her. Her eyes fixed me and just me. I slowly turned and lifted my shirt. I couldn't see her but I heard how she sucked in the air loudly. While I turned and lowered my shirt I saw Darryl looking at my back. His eyes were wide and then filled with rage.

"He did that to you?" Andrea stammered and I nodded.

"He almost raped me. I am sorry Andrea, I can never forgive that guy; never will I ever show mercy for him." I finally said the words out loud. I had thought I would feel ashamed, small, dirty … but a feeling of freedom filled me. There were just Andrea, Daryl, and Rick who heard my words. Still … I was afraid to look at any of them.

Andrea lowered her head and walked out, while we followed. I stopped at the door and watched Glenn staying at a car. "Goodbye." I told her and we hugged each other tight. "Bye Ella … I will find a solution, I swear I will …" I smiled sadly, shaking my head invisibly.

"You can live with us. You don't have to return to that bastard." Her eyes were irritated, she really was in love with Phillip … Michonne came out too, carrying her sword and a gun. Her emotional face had again changed into the terminator stare again. "Just don't get killed." I told her and she walked to the car, where the others already stood to tell their goodbyes. Daryl followed Andrea, while Michonne and I watched them from a distance. Every one of them was armed when Andrea told them to take care and drove off. They were all watching her leaving, even Michonne's eyes followed the dirty car until we couldn't see her anymore.

At night we were all gathered in the corridor of out cell block. Some candles were lid but no word was spoken. It was just when Beth began to sing, that everyone found his other half. Glenn slowly sat down next to Maggie on the stairs, Rick had his daughter in his arm. Carol smiled to singing Beth as if everybody had come to terms with the situation. I stood in the doorway to the common room when Merle entered and placed himself next to me. It was nice that no one was arguing anymore about Merle staying with us. Well, at least I didn't hear a word about the Merle-subject anymore. Some of our group avoided him, I just ignored him. And that's what I tried now, but he was very close, his shoulder touching mine.

Beth sang an old song I had never heard before and suddenly my eyes found Daryl's. Rick began to talk to him and Hershel. Then Daryl looked to his brother who seemed not to be part of the group, but an appendage of Daryl. Than his eyes wandered to me again. I gave him a cautious smile and he returned his Daryl-smile. A warmth took possession of my once so cold body and I felt I could live a while longer in this world. Merle carefully punched my shoulder. "Ya gonna be fine bad ass." What was this tone in his voice? Emotions? Fear? I looked up to him. "Darlyina will take care of ya."

The song Beth was singing touched my heart. I couldn't be mad at him in this situation, while Phillip created an army. "You stoned?!" I said in a soft voice and smiled.

"No sweetheart, the one moment I'm clear, I'm telling ya to kill this governor. And ya will live happily ever after with my little baby brother." He turned and walked away leaving me with a weird feeling behind. But when I looked at my friends again, I was happy I had a family. We would stick together and help each other till the end. And maybe, just maybe … I could be all me again.

I wasnt really sure about how to go on. About the upcoming events ... i still quarrel with myself how to write the next chapter. Hope i figure it out by next weekend to give you new 'food for reading' :-D xxx

R&R