Hey guys. I'm already back. I was so inspired by the new episode, I couldn't stop writing. In my mind it is all set, my fingers just need to move faster :o) R&R and enjoy the new chapter!

I couldn't feel any better. Daryl's touch and he kissing me was worth surviving this shit. He held me carefully in his arms. I wanted him to scoop me up, but downwards my neck, my body was bruises and pain. Our lips slowly parted and when I opened my eyes I saw him smiling at me. "I missed you." I whispered honestly.

There was this rare grin on his face I liked so much. "What?"

"I missed us …" Was there something like "us"? His smile was the answer. He kissed me again, more passionate, if that was even possible. My skin was burning under his touch. I wanted more … I wanted him more than anything else. Unintentionally I grabbed him passionately harder. Now I realized I had missed intimacy and closeness, missed sex and touching every part. A craving in my body made me realize I wanted all of this and I wanted it with Daryl. Since the apocalypse had begun, I had never really thought of these things to happen, of having even a peaceful moment to have the chance to be intimae – but since I had met Daryl I remembered there was something like sex.

Suddenly Glenn's head looked over Daryl's shoulder. "Sorry to disturb your sex life like that …" He looked into my eyes, almost ashamed. "Hershel wants to see you." Daryl made a step back. We really must have looked like a teenage couple making out the first time. I realized I was panting, like I had been running a marathon. I tried to catch my breath.

"Glenn!" I screamed and jumped to him. His smile was shy. I threw my arms around him. "Glenn!" The jump hurt and I clung to him to not fall down. "Ah …" A scream of pain escaped my lips.

"Yeah … that's me, run-away." He looked to the ground so I couldn't read his mimic. He held me carefully.

"I'm sorry …" I loosened my hug and immediately began to sweat. That kind of action took enough power of my body to make me weak again. I really overestimated my strength and felt suddenly dizzy.

"You better be." He finally grinned. "Can't believe you run after every Dixon that goes away." I punched him, but it hurt me more than him. He looked at my bandaged hand. "Hershel was shocked you were already up and away. First he thought you reanimated, but that assho…" He stopped in his sentence and looked to Daryl. "… Merle told us you may look like a walker but are none." Daryl crossed his arms in front of his chest. The air was tensed. "Hershel thought you wouldn't be able to stand up for days. The meds were pretty hard."

"Never do the expected, do ya?!" Daryl said behind me.

Glenn mentioned for me to follow him. "Hershel wants to see you, check on you." He wanted to lead the way, but I looked back to Daryl. I didn't want to go, didn't want to be without him for another minute. After all this days of a nightmare, I wanted to be with him.

"Can't leave the hands off your lover?" Glenn cooed into my ear and I blushed.

"Shut up." Pushing him away, I made a step towards Daryl, my so called lover. I was afraid to do so, but I stretched out my hand, mentioning for him to come with me.

Daryl stepped forwards and put one arm around me. "Let's go."

I humbled awkwardly next to him. I was out of air, energy and other things my body needed. Above all I was pretty much hungry. I came to a halt, I needed some rest. Daryl looked at me. "The meds not working anymore?" He took me into his arms.

"Thanks." I couldn't walk any longer and relaxed. Dizziness took more and more over me, but I pushed it aside and concentrated on Daryl's face. When we walked through the yard people starred at me. Was I looking that bad? I had taken off the bandage around my head so I wouldn't look too damaged. Was my hair wild? Again I looked up to Daryl who smiled down on me. "Merle 's right, ya do look like a walker."

"That bad?!" I asked.

"I wonder how ya were able to walk."

Glenn walked next to us. "You should take it slowly Ella. You are pale and …"

If he was going to speak about my broken body, I didn't want to hear it. So I interrupted him. "How are we gonna feed them all?"

"We'll go on a run soon." Daryl answered. "Me, Sasha and some of the new ones will go out together." Sasha … I had heard that name before … but I couldn't remember a face.

"We're famers now. We'll grow some plants and sow some seeds." Glenn said on my other side. "One of the Woodbury people had been a farmer, knows some stuff. Like Maggie's dad."

Someone called Daryl's name. Daryl stopped and looked back. I couldn't see the one he was looking at. Suddenly Daryl's grip around me loosened, he let me down to my feet and mentioned for Glenn to take his part. "I'll need to help. I'll see ya in a bit." He squeezed my hand. "Don't run away."

I thought it was too early for the joke, but Glenn laughed next to me. "Not with these legs." I retorted and watched him leave.

"So you two, ha?!" Glenn said while he grabbed my hip and helped me walking to the cell block we lived in. I didn't reply on that, my thoughts were still with Daryl. "Finally!"

"Hmm?"

"Finally you too realize what we all saw months ago. You too belong together. I knew it when you were looking at each other at camp. Your eyes followed him everywhere and he observed you too." Again I blushed under his words. "And Ella …"

"Ya?!"

"Don't run away again. I can't take another heart attack." He joked, his hand over his heart. Even it was a joke you could sense the seriousness in his voice. "You are like a little sister, you're family." He had said it before, now again, and it really felt like family.

"Thanks bro. I think I have enough of running the wrong direction."

With one arm around me, he hugged me carefully. "There is Hershel." He said.

I followed his glance. "I can walk the rest alone. I know you guys got something better to do than babysit me." I wasn't quite sure I could do it.

"Better to have an eye on you." He laughed. "I've missed you."

"I missed you too." I said lowly. This people had never given up on me, had looked for me, had cared for me. I would never be so stupid again. I had to remind my future-self of that.

"Since Hershel had told me the whole story … about what the governor wanted, I was afraid you were dead." I knew I was looking at my friend Glenn and yet he seemed older, more grown-up. How long have I been unconscious? There was even something you might call a beard under his chin.

"But I'm here Glenn. Somehow I'll make it up to you …. I'll be trying hard to gain your trust again." I was afraid he was never going to trust me again.

"If it would have been Maggie, I would have done the same Ella. I would have done everything for her to be safe. I understand you …" I was stunned and didn't know what to retort. He looked ahead. "Come on, we're almost there." He walked me to Hershel. "Here she is. Hope you can cure that girl, she has something like a run-away-virus." Both of them laughed while I was beginning to sweat like hell.

"Can you get us some water?" Hershel asked, his eyes on me.

"Sure!" Glenn nodded and jogged away. I looked to the others in the yard. They all had something to do. We were a growing community, every hand was needed to keep this together.

"How are you feeling? I honestly didn't think you would wake up the next days. Don't speak of walking." His smile warmed my heart. There was so much love and caring in his voice. "You are a very strong girl."

I wanted to tell him about all my pains, all my bruises and the reason for the scars. I wanted to get it all from my chest. I wished if the wounds can be healed, my soul would be healed too. But suddenly another thing popped into my head. He was not a normal doctor, he knew a lot … Thinking over and over, I just stared at him. I smiled but still didn't know how to start. "How do you feel?" He asked again, patted on the picnic bank and I sat down next to him. "It is nice to see you walking around with a smile Ella."

"I'm okay. Well … my legs don't really work the way I want to."

"That's maybe just the pain killers." In this moment my stomach made a loud scream. "Or you just need food." He laughed. "There were no visible injuries on your legs, maybe just contusion." He looked to my hand. "May I?" And he began to examine my hand. "You were pretty exhausted and the meds are pretty hard. Your body needs to regain strength. You should eat and drink." His eyes wandered to my head. "How's your head?"

"I think I'm fine."

"I needed to suture a small whole." He touched my head, right above my ear and I winced. "But the stiches look good. We had quite a good equipment. Thanks to Merle, who told us where the infirmary in Woodbury was." His attention went back to my hand.

"I … I have a question." I stammered. How could I ask him why I wasn't crazy anymore … why I wasn't hearing my brother's voice no more? This question had bothered me since I had heard him no more. I had always wanted the voice to shut up, to leave me alone … but since it had grown silent in my head, I was missing him. I was missing my brother dearly.

"What's wrong?!" He looked down where his foot had been once and laughed. "I mean if it's not playing basketball." He tried to make me feel comfortable, what an honorable man.

"No it's more mental." I said jokingly, but the real joke was that it wasn't a joke at all. "I … had an accident." I paused, touching my left arm slightly. It was weird and great at the same time to feel and use my left arm again when my right hand was now injured. Seemed there was a natural law, that my body was never whole.

"I know." He looked me in the eyes instead on my body, where the scars began to vibrate. His simple words made my whole body feel every scar, every pain. "Sometimes I feel my right foot itching. That's called phantom pains." That was not really what I wanted to talk about. "How is your arm anyways? Can you move your fingers?" He looked at both of my arms, maybe not knowing himself which one he was talking about.

I nodded and moved all ten fingers. "It's more about my chest, my ribcage that hurt. Maybe because of all the kicks against it." I let out a short laugh. I was straying from my original question.

Glenn returned with two bottles of water. "Here you go." He handed us the bottles.

"Thanks Glenn!" You could see there was a bond between the two of them. Maggie and Glenn were like a married couple, which made Hershel his father-in-law.

"You should drink a lot. You were pretty much dehydrated when they brought you back." He told me and I nodded vacantly. I opened the bottle to drink a few sips. Glenn was already on his way back to the prison.

"See you later." I threw after him. The water felt good but I was afraid I would throw up again.

"I bet on that." Glenn waved at me and walked quickly to the prison.

My attention went back to Hershel. My thoughts swam in my head and I tried to find the right words to explain my problem. "I … I had an accident when I was younger." I blurred out. "My brother died in this accident and … and I saw him dying in front of me." It was out … well almost. I had never really talked about it in the past. I hadn't want to bother my parents, they had to deal with the death of my brother as well, and the doctors had seemed all crazy themselves.

His eyes showed hurt. "I'm sorry kid." It was so easy to talk to him. It felt like I could tell him every problem and he would listen and try to help, instead of judging me.

"Ever since I had heard his voice in my head. Like a conscience. But now he is gone." I looked up to him, hoping he would find a solution. But a solution for what? Did I want to be crazy again, to hear my dead brother in my head again? "I had never been alone, because of him."

I couldn't believe Hershel was smiling, there was no judging glance. "Ella … maybe you couldn't let go and somehow persuaded yourself of hearing his voice. He must have been very close to you." I nodded and soaked in every single word he said. "And maybe he is gone because you have us now. You are not alone anymore." In a way it seemed as if he knew exactly what I was feeling. "You have a new family, like every one of us. Glenn found Maggie, even a guy like Daryl lives together with us weird folks. Since I got to know them all at my farm … we all accommodated to each other, looked after each other. And you found Daryl." The last sentence made my hair stand on end. "You don't need your brother to look after you anymore, you've got us." He was very empathetic. No words about craziness or asylum, like the doctors had mentioned.

I sighed. I was safe now, Phillip was gone … but he was still alive. "Thanks." Was the answer really that easy?

"You want an advice?" Hershel asked and my heart sank to my feet.

"Ya?!" I wasn't sure if I wanted to hear something about pills and mental instability.

"Embrace life. I know it can be hard all alone in this world, but we are in this all together."

"It's hard … you know … sometimes it's just hard." I heard me mumble. "It is hard to love life the way it is now." Why didn't I stop talking? My brother would have stopped me by now.

"Who said it is easy?!" He looked into the yard and my eyes followed his. We both looked Daryl's and Maggie's direction who stabilized the fence. "This world is not easy, but together we make it a little less hard."

"Thanks Hershel."

He carefully checked my ribcage and it hurt. "Maybe it's broken … we don't have an x-ray. If you can't breathe, come to me …" Maybe that would be too late. "Don't move too much, don't run around, and do not carry heavy things … be careful, watch yourself. I know I am talking to a stubborn here, but listen to me if you want to live a little longer." He wasn't joking.

"Okay." I wanted to live a while longer.

"Okay." He repeated after me. "You can talk to me whenever you want to."

"Thanks." We both stood up.

"I need to see my other patients. Merle isn't in a good state either. You two had been badly injured." He stopped talking, maybe not wanting to hurt my feelings. "The people from Woodbury need to be treated too, they are all in some kind of shock."

Of course they were shocked, they were led by a statistical tyrant. "What about Merle …" Yeah, what about him?

"He's still the cocky red neck every one told me he had been before." He seemed to look for him, but Merle wasn't around. "His behavior just overshadows his state of health. He'll need help to adjust." Silence grew upon us. I had nothing to say to that. "I understand Maggie's and Glenn's hate … You know, I am not a friend of Merle's doings. But everyone deserves a second chance."

"What if there had been a lot of second chances?" I wasn't talking of Merle. Did I deserve another chance?

Hershel came closer, his crutches moving smooth over the ground. "Some people need more attempts to realize what's good for them."

"Yeah, maybe." I said uneasy. "See you later." I felt awkward … it seemed Hershel knew exactly whom I was talking of.

He nodded and while he walked inside the prison, I watched Daryl working with two strangers at the fence. On the other side of the yard, Maggie was talking to Glenn. I opened the bottle again and drank half of it. The water felt so good in my throat. I wanted to walk to them, but I was exhausted. I didn't want to admit that I wasn't in the state to walk alone. So I just sat there memorizing my surroundings, my home.

It looked all peaceful and I was actually happy. I missed the little angel-devil-voice talking in my head, telling me what to do. I missed my brother so much. But while he was absent, I had other voices who comforted me. It was Daryl's, Glenn's, Maggie's … I had friends, a family. What could I more desire in a world like this? I smiled in Daryl's direction and he nodded back to me. Yes, I was truly happy.