Hey guys. I hope you had a nice weekend.
R&R :o) See you next week!
Daryl threw himself on me, knocking me to the ground. I lost my weapon when we crashed to the wooden floor. The moment fog had filled the wagon, Daryl had put the bandana over my mouth before I felt him getting kind of limb on me. Before I knew what was happening, someone pulled him away. I tried to get a hold on him, but I grabbed into nothingness, seeing nothing but white fog. The fog swallowed everything around me. Had Daryl been torn apart from me or was I the one who was moving? Something hid me on the head. When I blinked again everything was still white and foggy, my ears were ringing and muffled shouts arose. I felt someone close – he grabbed my arm and pulled me roughly along. None of my friends would touch me like that, so I pulled at the arm tearing at me and bit it hard. It let go off me and I started running through the fog. Did the bomb blind me? All I could see was wafts of mist. I needed to find a weapon, no my friends first, I needed to hide … my thoughts were going in circles. I felt a wall and stumbled forward. There was a door handle and I opened it slowly. It was dark, no white fog anymore.
The moment I was inside, it started to stink. I must have entered the latrine. "You really look fucked up." A boot against my chin made me kiss the ground. I had to blink many times to get rid of the dizziness. It was Mary the BBQ-woman and she pointed a gun at me. "Why would you choose death when Gareth told you that you could survive?" Her voice was far away but she was damn close. I heard the clicking of a gun. Another person stood behind her, a man I have never seen, observed our every step.
All of a sudden he grabbed my bandana and ripped it off my neck. "You have been put through hard times, heh?!" The nasty smile reminded me of Philip.
Don't panic. Where are you? What are the options to get out of here? Get your head clear.
I took a quick look around. The room was small and dark, just a small window under the ceiling. But my head was still dazzled from the bomb what made thinking pretty hard. Suddenly the guy waved his gun in front of my eyes. Where was I? Where was Daryl? "Where are my …?" Again I felt pain in my lower abdomen and my pants got slightly wet.
"Oh girl … did they do that to you?" He asked. "Did you deserve it?!" His eyes laughed at me, his voice was as threatening as could be.
"What …" I couldn't breathe …
"If you behave, you can stay with us and no one will ever harm you again."
"What?" My heart started to hammer against my chest, almost explode in my body. Was he as bad as Len? As bad as Phillip? He said something to me, but the panic deadened my senses. Another blow with his fist and he handcuffed me with cable ties. Again … again I was handcuffed. I hadn't seen his fist coming, nor really realized how he had handcuffed me.
You should really work on your reflexes. Since when was he sarcastic in this kind of situation? I had expected comforting words … That didn't work last time. I felt his smile. I know you're going to get out of here. You always do. Be prepared, they will be inattentive.
The sound of walkie-talkie brought me back to reality. The paralysis slowly faded. "I'll be back." He turned to Mary. I couldn't hear their conversation and tried to loosen the handcuffs.
Suddenly Mary grabbed me to get up. I tried to fight her, but she slapped me. "Are you sure?" She turned to the man.
Wait for the moment. When he is gone you can take her down. He calmed me. I took a deep breath, but I couldn't calm my heart. The thumping must have been heard in Texas.
The man just nodded. "I'll be there soon, just make sure they'll bleed." He took the walkie-talkie from his hip. "If you play any trick here, you will die a horrible death." He told me before he went out. In the short time the door was open I saw my surroundings. Carcasses were hanging from the ceiling. Meat was all over the place. Was that a human body? I almost threw up. Mary forced me to go on, pushing me through doors until we stood in the room with all the candles. The only thing I was happy about: the rotten smell had faded. She kicked me in the back, sending me flying down to the ground. Again I was captured and tied up. She forced me to sit on the ground and went to the candles behind her.
"Not again" I read the wall next to me. Mary turned to me. "Not again." I pressed through my teeth. I would not let them harm me, I would not be alone again. I smiled over to her like a mad person.
Are you going nuts? This is just an old woman. You can take her down. She will be inattentive, that's when you attack.
"You think what you saw was bad?" She laughed back. "This had been a save place. We helped people." Remembering the torsos from before it was hard to believe.
I laughed at her. "Yeah, sure. I had been helped before too." I alluded to torture and rape of the past.
"You stupid bitch." She told me. "We did help." She emphasized. "But people came and took this place. And they raped and they killed … and they laughed over weeks." She almost cried and took a gun from behind her back. I had hoped she didn't have a gun ready.
"Nothing I'd never heard." I spat her direction.
She slapped me again, this time with more force. "You can't be one of us."
"All I hear is that you are crying like a baby." Hold your tongue. "All I see is a woman who kills innocent people to survive."
"I'll kill you." She pointed her gun at me. This time she released the safety catch.
I laughed at her. "There ain't anything I am afraid of anymore." I almost laughed louder. "Nothing." I stopped laughing at once looking at her with all the hate I got.
At first she looked at me in shook, took a step back and looked at me. "The way you look you must have died a thousand times. But believe me, there are more ways to torture people." She recollected herself. All I wanted was for her to freak. I had worked her up to be careless, so I could just ram myself in her belly. Isn't the gun going to be a problem? Not only the gun, she seemed as mad as myself. There was a weird glance in her eyes. Maybe the apocalypse had already devoured her soul.
Suddenly an explosion rocked the building. It reminded me of the loud bang with which Phillip had destroyed my life and the prison. This was my chance to tackle Mary, but when I tried to attack her, she pointed her gun at me. "Don't you fucking move." She took her walkie-talkie, never letting me out of her gaze. "What happened?"
"A tank exploded." Someone told her. "Biters are getting in. Stay inside."
I tried to get rid of the provisional handcuffs. Not the first time being in this kind of situation, I should have gotten a technic by now. Not losing your sense of humor. I felt my brother smiling. This is the bad ass who is going to kick some ass.
A clicking made me look up. "I could tell I shot you in the heat of the moment."
"You could have done that before all the sentimental shitty talking. Seems you are not in charge."
She smiled down on me. "Maybe he is not that wrong. We have a lot in common."
"Don't think so. I would never kill harmless people." I sat on my knees, stemming my feet to the ground, getting ready to attack her. There was a distant noise, was that gunfire?
She laughed. "You wanna tell me you wouldn't have killed us? What about your guns in the woods? We saw you long ago before you climbed our territory."
They knew we had guns. "Where are my friends?"
"Don't need to worry about them anymore. It's too late little calf." She smiled. All the people who had smiled at me in this kind of situation had made me suffer. Had killed one of my friends. It seemed she was the one provoking me now, making me freak to shoot me. "You are either the butcher or the cattle!"
"What?" I almost went nuts. "What are you doing with them?"
"They have been led to the slaughter. And I will make sure you will follow." She hit my temple with the gun violently. "They will bleed out slowly." She hit me again until everything went black. What was happening? I blinked, seeing a dark figure standing a few feet away. I sat up slowly, my head spinning. When had fell to the ground?
Get your head clear and run.
He was damn right. I tried to stand up, but my sense of balance was poised. I met the ground even before I knew I was falling. All I saw was two figures. A shot rang from the walls and the two began to fight. I shook my head to see clearer. One of the shadows approached me. "Carol?" Was I dead? I tried to stand up, but couldn't. Mary had hid my temple too hard, maybe crashed my ear.
Mary threw herself over Carol und punched her. Carol was lying on the ground while Mary struck again and again. I needed to help her. Bur first you need to stand up. I rolled over on my belly pushing me up to stand on all fours. It wasn't easy with ahnds cuffed, but by now I could manage at least this action. When I looked to them again, Carol was on top of Mary. She had the control now. I was relieved but then Mary's fist met Carols head and they strolled around the floor. When they were close to me, I grabbed Mary's leg as god as I could with my hands cuffed. She pulled back and I fell forward. A loud pang echoed and Mary screamed.
Carol rushed over to me, grabbed me and helped me to stand up. "Are you okay?" I nodded and she turned back to Mary. "Where are they?" She took out a knife freeing me from the cable ties. Carol smelled of death and rotten flesh. Now that I saw her close, bowls and blood were splattered all over her cloak.
She cried and laughed at the same time. "You bitches."
"She won't tell us anything." I looked down on her, her blood was like ice melting on the floor. "Who is the butcher now?" I wanted to spat at her, but she looked at me with wide eyes, as if the words had hurt her more than the shot. I turned to Carol again.
"We need to hide your scent." She told me. "Can you stand and walk on your own?" She let go of me and I waddled a few steps before I went down on my knees.
"She hit my head too hard." I closed my eyes but it got worse. Without saying anything – or maybe I just didn't hear her – Carol went to the door, opening it. Loud snarling greeted me. Was she leaving without me? A walker entered and Carol shut the door. The walker walked towards me, ignoring Carol standing close to it. "What are you doing?" I pleaded Carol's direction.
Mary laughed next to me. "You'll die here!" shocked to the bone I started to crawl backwards. Thanks to my moving and weepy voice the walker became aware of me. Carol followed him and it still didn't give a shit, didn't notice her at all. I looked behind the walker where Carol stood with her knife ready. When I was in the gripping distance of the walker Carol smiled at me before she slit him open and his bowels fell on top of me like heavy rain. I puked to the floor.
"You need to hide your scent." She told me again. She smashed the walker's head and started to rub the dead stinking blood all over me. She took my arm again to stand me up. "We need to get you out."
"Where are the others?"
"I don't know, didn't see anyone."
"But Daryl …. Glenn and Maggie, Carl … they are somewhere here." I begged. "We have to find them."
Mary again laughed madly at us. "You will die here!"
Carol completely ignored her. "I will take you to Tyrese first and then I'll go back here." Sasha's brother was alive and she didn't know. It reminded me again of my friends who must be somewhere in this hell of a place. Carol helped me walking and when we stepped out into the sunlight, walkers greeted us but none of them recognized us as food.
Carol was about to shut the door but I shook my head. She had to die. Carol didn't answer my actions but walked on. We went right, screams and gunshots echoed through the air.
"Maybe this is them." I whispered. The walker next to me looked at me and I fell silent. Carol moved slowly through the upcoming walker mass silencing me with motherly eyes.
We walked among dead, around the next corner. A few people where fighting with pols and sticks against a horde of walkers. I didn't recognised them. When I looked back to Carol, I noticed she had Daryl's crossbow on her shoulder. We could fight, help them. Before I could say my thoughts aloud, Carol changed our way. We went the other direction, where we wouldn't be confronted with humans. Carol let go off me. "Wait here. I'll go and check." I sat on the ground while she went to check the place. I wouldn't be a help, whatever she was about to do.
"Come here!" A familiar voice called over the noise. I turned around to see Rick running on, followed by my friends. "Run!"
"Daryl!" I called, standing up. The walker next to me turned its head. I went down on my knee, remembering my only weapon. Why didn't I think of that earlier? I took Daryl's arrow out. When I got up the walker grabbed for me. His open mouth was damn close. I quickly ran the arrow into its left eye. He reeled backwards, pulling me with him. He wasn't dead, so I pushed the arrow deeper into his eye socket. Finally the zombie went limp to the ground. When I looked around there were only walkers. Where did Rick ran? I couldn't remember … Carol was again at my side. "We need to get out of here."
While I saw two men jumping over the fence, we were just simply walking out of the back gate. We still moved silently and slowly among the walkers. There was a huge fire to our right side. A few buildings were burning, the smoke almost made me cough. But I resisted the urge to make a human sound. We made it out of Sanctuary eventually. Carol still helped me to walk, leading us into the woods. She had said something about Tyrese, he was somewhere close in a small cottage. She took off her cloak and looked almost clean. I looked down on me, I couldn't simply take off my clothes. "We'll find some water to clean you up." She smiled nicely. "I have some spare clothes."
"Thank you Carol. You saved my life."
"Let's go before the walkers will smell us." She helped me walking on.
There were a lot of questions in my head. I wanted to know how she knew where we were, when suddenly I heard a familiar voice. "I am not leaving this place until I find her." It was Daryl's voice. "I am going nowhere except back."
"That's Daryl!" I told her. Her face lit up and we moved quickly towards his voice.
They were all gathered around Rick, they had gotten out. When Daryl saw me and ran towards me, taking me into his arms. Carol laughed next to me. All the others looked at us. Even Rick wore a slight smile when he approached Carol. Daryl let go off me to take Carol into a tight hug.
"Did you do that?" Rick asked her. When she started to nod Rick took her into her arms with a smile. I didn't see Rick doing any kind of heart-warming emotional reaction lately. So this dark guy still had some light in him. I still saw him as the human-blood-dripping from-his-mouth-guy who had done everything to protect his son.
Happy laughter arose. Daryl took my hand, tuned me towards him and took my face into his hands. "Ya look like a walker puked on you." He smiled and wiped something out of my face before putting a kiss on my lips.
"You have to come with me." Carol told everyone, her eyes lingering on Carl and Rick. Without waiting for an answer she rushed off. Rick, Carl and Michonne followed her quickly. Maggie and Glenn called for Carol to wait or slow down, but she didn't. She almost ran away even faster. Maggie shrugged her shoulders and followed her too. The other four who seemed to be friends with Glenn looked at each other seemingly not knowing to follow or to leave.
Before Daryl and I followed, he took the bag with our guns from the hole in the ground. "Come on girl." Again he took my hand and we followed. We caught up quickly. Maggie was telling her story of what happened after the prison. I caught Carol smiling at Sasha from time to time.
We walked up to a cottage. This must be the one Carol had been talking of. I was proofed right when Tyrese came out, a girl in his arms. Judith? Rick started running towards them. Carl was close behind him, as was Sasha. They were all crying happy tears for their beloved. So Rick was still human. You are pretty mean. He had lost so much in this apocalypse. He was right and I felt sorry.
I smiled looking at the family reunion and felt truly happy. I didn't know I was crying until Daryl came closer and wiped away my tears. He half hugged me, kissing me on the top of my head. "Can't believe we found them again."
"I can't believe she found us." I corrected him. "She saved all of us."
We both looked over to Carol who stood almost next to Daryl. She was smiling at the happy scene in front of her. It was like everyone had someone to hug but she just stood alone smiling. I stepped aside and pushed Daryl closer to her. "You two have a lot to talk." I knew there was a bond between them and I owed her more than just not standing alone.
Over the trees the dark smoke of burning sanctuary was still rising. I hoped this damn place would burn to the ground. I shivered thinking of their doings. My heart was still unsettled, sort of uneasy. I looked over to Glenn's friends, how they watched us. Two of them wore military uniform. Another one looked like he was born in the wrong decade, his hair looked weird. The other girl looked somehow familiar. Why was she watching Glenn? Did she have a crush or something? They all had guns and above all the military couple looked tensed. I felt my heart pumping faster again. Their whole aura was intimidating. I followed their glance and my eyes found my family. The picture of Rick and Carl being reunited with Judith was calming me. They were all embracing each other. Glenn approached me. "Our family is reunited again." He smiled down on me and handed me a bottle of water. "Tyrese had a spare one." I opened it and drank before I poured it over my head. I wanted this bloody filth get off me. Glenn grabbed my shoulder. "I am grateful Merle kept you alive."
Merle ... that damn guy was always on my mind. I looked over to Daryl who was talking happily to Carol. This was his family now. Back then at Woodbury he had been going wild when he had found out his brother was alive. He even had been going away with him, had left his family behind, had left me behind. Now it seemed to be the other way around. I was still determined to find him. Where the hell could he be?
Glenn slightly shook me, his arm still on my shoulder. "Hey sis."
Now he got my attention. "That's all we got now. Our family." We had no home anymore, no place to sleep, nothing … but we had us. I smiled at him. "Hey, we are alive."
Rick looked at all of us, tears still visible in his eyes. "We need to go." He looked to the smoke over the trees.
"Yeah, but where?"
"Somewhere far away from there." Rick's eyes hadn't left the threatening smoke. He seemed to be afraid of that wrongly sanctuary.
We had walked on, again had found the tracks, but this time walking in the other direction. On our way we had destroyed every sign we had found of Sanctuary. We had needed to get away and had walked on for hours until the night came in. On our way we had found a small river where I had washed. Carol had given me her spare clothes and the moment I had them on I had felt better. The disgusting memory of Sanctuary hadn't been washed away, but the image of the carcasses had faded.
In the end we set up camp what only meant we made a fire and set traps around us. Somehow I didn't feel safe at all. I got up and took a gun out of the bag next to Daryl. "Just want to check the surroundings." He nodded and got up to walk with me.
We walked in a close distance to the fire. Some of the others were sleeping, some were on watch or just not able to sleep. I was ranked among the last ones. Mary's laugh and cries were still in my head. All of a sudden I felt a cramp in my abdomen. Daryl's eyes were immediately on my belly. We walked on, my hand on my belly. Daryl still watched me. "I don't want to talk about it." He didn't respond. "I just need to forget it." I didn't want to look at him.
"All right." Was all he said. And we walked on.
He suddenly stopped and turned me to look at him. We stood in the dark staring into each other's eyes. It felt as though it was a happy moment.
There was a rustling between the bushes and trees. Daryl immediately pushed me behind him looking every direction. With a finger on his lips he told me to stay silent. He walked towards the trees and crouched down. "There's nothing." Maybe it had been just the wind. Who are you kidding? He walked around, crossbow ready. My eyes followed him and scanned every shadow behind him, but didn't see anything suspicious. After a while Daryl came back to me. "Let's get back. I didn't see anything." But his eyes told me different.
He took my hand to lead me back to the fire. "Okay." I said with a doubtful overtone.
He immediately turned to me, but before he could lament on how he would keep the group or me safe, I kissed him. I held on to him and he grabbed me with both hands. He pressed his fore head against mine. But I put a finger on his lips. He looked deep into my eyes, with his thumb tracing the scar on my lips.