Hello and welcome :o) Thanks for all the support! Without any more of my babbling ... enjoy the story!

After every one of us had at least one weapon, we gathered to discuss the plan Rick had come up with. I stood next to Daryl, checked the ammo in my gun, in my riffle and checked if my knife was securely strapped to my thigh. I was ready.

Ready for what? To kill?

Ready to rescue Beth and Carol. This was what I had learned: to fight for my family. We just needed the two out of there, find Merle and start somewhere anew.

You think it is so easy? Get into a hospital full of cops with guns, into unknown territory, find Beth and Carol, and get out? And Merle is not waiting around the next corner. Who knows where that man could be.

I remembered my last conversation with Merle, how he had slept next to me so I wouldn't be alone. He was a good man and I wanted him back. Back with his family where he belonged. Strangely enough I wasn't thinking about Jess.

That's for later. Now you're going to save Beth. Attention please. I felt him smile. I loved the way he had always said 'Attention please' to me, when I had been daydreaming.

My attention went back to the group. Rick was drawing a plan on the ground, but all I heard was killing people.

It is just like you have thought before, this isn't the good cop Rick anymore. This is a killing machine.

We had seen too much to be a normal human being anymore. This wasn't the normal world no more. No one is normal no more.

Daryl slightly elbowed me. "Ya alright?"

I had been in deep thoughts – well talking to my dead brother in my head. Jess had always told me I had 'that face' when I heard my brother's voice. "Yeah." I retorted nervously hoping no one would ever find out about me being crazy.

Thanks lil' sis.

"That's best case. What's worst case?" Tyrese asked. He seemed to be the only one not wanting to go all bloody hell. Sasha was all in, she would do anything to just do this job. The death of Bob had killed a lot of her humanity too. She had been a warm person, I had talked to her a lot in the prison when we had been on watch together. She had been actually fun. But now I saw dead eyes looking to Rick's plan on the ground. I never had the chance to talk to her about what had happened. Next chance I got I would talk to her. Like back then when we had been lying almost dead in one cell helping one another. "If we get a couple of cops alive out here, we do an even trade. Theirs for ours. Everybody goes home." Tyrese talked logically. He was right, but had a situation like this ever ended logically? The sad answer was no. Nevertheless I wanted it to be that easy.

Why can't it be that easy? If you go in there like a navy seal, are you any better than Phillip, Joe or Gareth? So who is the real monster here? What sounds better, killing cops who don't know what's coming or talking to them first?

All the other times our enemies had wanted us dead and we had just defended ourselves. We had fought to protect. Now was different.

Really?

I looked up to Daryl who seemed unsure too. "I think he is right." I whispered. "We do not need another bloodshed. We are no monsters, right?" Daryl looked at me. "I do not want to be a monster." I added.

"That might work." Rick walked towards Tyrese. "But this will." He pointed to his plan.

"Nah, that'll work too." Daryl looked from me to Rick. I was glad he wasn't Rick's opinion. "You say this Dawn, she's just trying to keep it together." He said to Noah. "Right?"

"Trying and doing are two different things." Noah replied. His voice and face confirmed that he had been put through a lot. Before I saw helplessness, now there was hate burning in his eyes. He wanted this Dawn person to go down.

That sounds somehow familiar, doesn't it? Captured by people who wouldn't let you go …

It sure was alike but not the same. They were not humiliated by torture. Was he really comparing my situation to theirs?

If they run you over to stitch you up and use you the way they want … sounds a lot alike to me.

I felt bad, I had no right to evaluate anybody's feelings or pain. Not to speak of comparing their pain to mine.

Meanwhile Daryl wasn't giving up to call on their humanity. "Ya take two of her cops away, what choices does she have?" Rick looked from Noah to Daryl in disbelief. It looked as if he couldn't believe Daryl was disagreeing to his plan. "Everybody goes home. Like Tyrese says." Daryl finally stated.

"So what do you suggest we should do?" Rick asked Daryl.

"We fire a shot, get them out here." Daryl told the group.

"They are probably still looking for me." Noah added.

Sasha and I were the only ones not talking. She maybe because she was still mourning Bob in her own way and I was just listening to Daryl's words. I knew he had the brain to come up with a plan. This one was good.

In the last days I had thought you would have lost it again. But it seems you are hanging in there pretty well.

I smiled to myself. Maybe Eugene was already talking to the one in charge in Washington and working on a solution to this zombiemania. Otherwise Glenn and Maggie would never have left family.

You are still mourning! He emphasized with a laugh.

I just had to believe they would never leave family just like this. And maybe when we have Beth and Carol, there will be a better world.

When did my daydreaming sister return? I haven't seen her since the camp. Before I could contradict, he went on. I love to have her back.

And somehow it felt good to be back, to leave dark thoughts and bad feelings behind. I would never forget what had happened and I would never be the same person ever again, but a bit more normal like it had been. At least a bit … Even though it hadn't been long ago when I had met Len on the street again, had been tortured and raped … I cringed at the dark thought. I wanted to forget and never wanted to be reminded of that time. Better to concentrate on things that made me happy, like Daryl.

Moments later we were hiding while Rick talked to Noah. He gave him a gun and then joined us while Noah walked onto the street. Daryl looked at me and the others, everyone had a gun ready. "This is a good plan." I looked up to Daryl. "This will work."

He gave me a small smile. "It has to."

I was hoping that only a few policeman would come, not a bunch. When Noah shot in the air, the shot echoed from the walls loudly. I looked around for walkers who might have heard the loud pang too. Tyrese and I were responsible of appearing walkers. I turned around to secure our back.

It didn't take long for a police car to appear. Noah tried to run, but the car knocked him slightly down. I had never seen something like this. It was as if the driver exactly knew how to run down a person without killing. A man and a woman stepped out of the car and handcuffed Noah. Suddenly our group was moving towards the scene, I was still in the end of the line to watch our back.

Daryl whistled. "Hands."

I looked over my shoulder to see the woman pointing her gun at us. "What do you want?"

"Whatever this is, we can help." The man said letting go of Noah. They didn't know us and he was the one trying to see sense in this situation.

"You do what we say, we don't hurt you." Rick stated. His raspy voice gave a scary tone to his words.

"Okay." The man held up his hands, the woman followed his lead. The situation was safe, I turned around again to wait for walkers, but my ears were still listening the other direction.

"Good. Now turn around." Could Rick's voice be any scarier? "Put your guns on the floor and kneel."

With my back to the situation observing the surroundings, I peeked over my shoulder from time to time. "We need to talk." Rick told them. So far it was all working. Everybody was doing their job.

"Mind if I asked you something." The man said. "The way you talk and carry yourself … were you a cop?" I didn't hear someone of my group talking. "Believe it or not, I was, too." Still no answer from Rick.

My eyes were on the building, not only on the ground. Maybe more cops would come, would come creeping up. So far, it had been quiet. There were no cops and no walker. I would have guessed that I had to kill at least one walker.

Are you sad there is no killing for you to do?

No, I was glad the operation went so smooth. Suddenly I heard the squeaking of tires. I walked closer to the end of the building and looked into the eyes of a car. "Car!" I screamed and fired, but the car was too fast and almost ran me over. I jumped back, a bit too late. The car grazed me and I fell to the ground while gunfire aroused. I stood up and saw my friends in hiding, except for Sasha, she stood there all calm, aiming for the car. The car drove on and I ran to Sasha who shot. The tire of the car exploded but it still turned around the corner. Everybody was immediately out of the hiding and ran after the car.

The car stood silently between burned down skeletons – which were still moving by the way. If I had ever thought the new world was a horror movie I had been wrong. This scene was a real horror movie. I was glad it wasn't dark yet. These walkers were totally different from the ones I had seen before. It looked as if their skin melted from their bones and they were glued to the street. Suddenly the car doors were opened and the two wannabe cops were running away. Their hands were still cuffed. Everybody started running afterwards. I looked back to see Daryl raising his crossbow inspecting the car. I stopped and walked back, my gun in both of my hands. I breathed heavily, there had been three. Two were running away, but the one driving the car … where was he? Daryl looked at me. "Car is empty." His eyes roamed the scene and came to a halt. He nodded towards a damaged caravan. We carefully walked towards it, our weapons raised. Ready for whatever might come. "Open the door."

I took my gun in my right hand und opened the door with my left. Daryl made a step forward pointing his crossbow into the caravan. Suddenly I felt a bang on my head and met the ground hard. I blinked and saw darkness. Blinking again I saw a man on top of Daryl a few feet away from me. When had they moved? I grunted standing up and staggered forward. My head rang. Before I could shoot the guy, Daryl gained the upper hand and stood up. I was glad, because I didn't know if I would have shot the right person if they would have still been fighting on the ground. I shook my head to get rid of the ringing in my head. All of a sudden a loud bang added a new ringing tone to my ears. Rick had shot the zombie who was approaching me from the back. I nodded in thanks and moved forward slowly with a new buzz in my head that didn't want to stop. No wonder I hadn't heard the walker approaching. On my way over to Daryl I picked up his crossbow and handed it to him. He must have lost it during the fight.

"Thanks." He breathed heavily. "Ya okay?"

I nodded. "Just a new goose egg."

"Okay asshole, you win." The guy said with a smile. He was wearing a police uniform too. He looked like a bulldog who had become human and the smile on his face wasn't very heartwarming. Rick didn't lower his gun and didn't say a word. They were looking at each other with the same weird glance. Slowly the man stood up.

"Rick." But Rick didn't relax. "Rick!" Daryl tried again. "Three is better than two." Before Rick could shoot him, I knocked the guy out with the butt of my gun.

Daryl handcuffed him with cable ties while I observed Rick. He didn't look like the sheriff of the past anymore. I remembered a clean sheriff without a beard coming to our camp happy to be reunited with his family. Where is that guy now?

Maybe he disappeared like my positive thinking daydreaming little sister.

I was not like Rick.

Haven't you changed too – and I mean to the worst. You hadn't trusted people anymore, had avoided people in general, hadn't liked strangers, had been poised to kill and …

That wasn't out of the blue, I had suffered.

And Rick hadn't suffered? He had lost his wife, almost his son. Had been separated from his daughter not knowing if she was alive. You all had been put through hard times …

I looked at Rick again. Was I just as crazy as him? Did the others think of me the same way I thought about Rick?

We walked back to the building where Rick had drawn his plan on the ground. I stood next to the window, looking through the scope of my riffle. I was in charge of our surroundings. The thought of me and Rick being alike bothered me and almost distracted me from being concentrated. I shoved the thoughts aside and looked outside clearly headed. There was no room to be inattentive. Except a few walkers, there were no cops or real human beings outside. I looked back to the group. The cops were arguing about the person in charge called Dawn. Seemed she hadn't have it all under control. I liked the one cop talking about a "peaceful resolution".

"Rick you need to hear this." Daryl called for Rick who was in the back talking to Noah, maybe getting some more information about Dawn and the hospital.

No matter what they were talking about, deep in my guts something felt wrong. Where were the other cops? Would really just three come out? Rick had fired another shot. They must have heard it.

Why so paranoid? They thought it was just Noah. A limping kid. I thought you weren't such a bad-omen-thinking-person anymore. Where is the good spirit gone thinking that we all will be saved …

"Really? But it were two gunshots. Do they expect Noah to find a gun and stay close? He must belong somewhere … to a group, a family." I told my brother silently. A Family … my eyes wandered to Noah who's eyes were on the policemen with a tight grab on his gun. Suddenly my ears were back at the cop who talked to Rick. "My name is Bob." The room went quiet and it felt everybody was looking at Sasha. Sasha froze looking at him. No one knew her pain. The way her beloved one had to die was unreal. Being bitten, people eating his leg while he had been alive, dying in the arms of the woman he had loved …

Daryl approached me. "Anything?"

"No just the usual craziness." Walkers glued to the street was our new normal.

"Let's get back." He told me but somehow I couldn't give up my spot on the window. "Come on." He nodded towards the others and reluctantly I followed.

We gathered on the other side, far away from the cops. Rick made sure our newly prisoners were far away from each other. They couldn't even see each other. I observed the cops closely. None of them were even trying to free themselves. Maybe they knew it wouldn't be easy to escape or they were counting on us to demote Dawn.

"Someone should get on the roof." Rick started. "Just in case if some cops would come looking for them."

"Will do!" I answered shouldering my rifle. Rick nodded and I went on. Up on the roof I first looked for the hospital. It was all visible with its white cross on its walls. We weren't far away. Looking through the rifle scope I thought I saw someone on the roof taking a smoke. I scant the area around the hospital and looked on the roofs around me. Suddenly the image of Merle popped into my mind of how he was handcuffed on a roof. It was back then … a long time ago … and in that moment I realized how long I had been away from home. The apocalypse had been going on for months now, maybe already years? I had no sense of time. Why hadn't any politician declared something? Why wasn't the military around? There needed to be something like a rescue team or something like that. Right?

What if there isn't any rescue team, any help or cure? What if this is real life now?

"When did we change opinions?" I wondered. Again my thoughts went back to Merle. I looked through the streets for him.

You really think you will find him in this city?

"We have to find him somewhere …"

I heard the door. Looking over my shoulder Daryl was coming straight at me. "Again on watch, heh?!"

"Yap." I turned to the hospital again. "I don't get it … they hurt others and rescue them, only to have another slave."

He came to stand next to me. I gave him the riflescope so he could check too. He stood close to me and I remembered a happy moment. I wished I could go back to that happy moment we had shared. If it would all work out, we rescue Beth and Eugene would save the world, then we could finally enjoy all the moments without looking around us anymore, without checking or observing … All of a sudden I remembered me telling him 'I love you' and how he hadn't yet really responded. He had just told me to not say it again until he would say it. I examined him carefully and felt the urge to lean into him.

"Who knows … sounds like another Woodbury." He gave me back the weapon.

"I just want this to be over." I honestly stated. "Get them out of there and meet up with Glenn and the others. Find Merle and have a life again." Whatever that would be like. Looking to the hospital in the distance again, I was already thinking about better times when a dark day was lying in front of us.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw him turning to me. He touched my hand and I finally looked at him. "We will." He still had a black eye and was dirty. Well actually we both were dirty. One might still see the hits and blows on my body too. I touched his black eye with my right hand, the other was still resting in his hand. Our moment was interrupted by tires squealing. We looked down and saw someone running and a police car followed. "What's that?"

"Stop." It was Rick's voice over the speaker. "Stop right now." You could see the small person still running and then the car hit the person.

Daryl and I almost simultaneously turned to get back to the others. "What happened?" Daryl shouted.

"I was careless." Sasha said looking to the ground. "It was my fault."

"Rick got it handled." Tyrese added quickly.

"We saw that." I said.

Daryl gathered the other two captives and let them sit together. Sasha and Tyrese were observing them while Daryl marched up and down waiting for Rick. I stood close to Sasha. Whatever had happened the name 'Bob' must have triggered something in her. Back at the prison we had both been fighting the illness, had shared a cell together, had been helping each other. "Rick got him." I told her. She shortly looked up at me. A lost glance in her eyes.

I know that glance. Seems you two have a lot in common. You have been looking like this when you thought you had lost Daryl.

That was something I didn't ever want to think about again. The pain seemed so unreal now.

She feels it right now, the pain … your pain.

"Sasha. I am so sorry about …" I started and out my hand on her shoulder, but she stepped back. All I wanted was to comfort her.

"Don't." She didn't look at me anymore. "I was stupid."

She is just like you. You wouldn't allow anybody to comfort you, not Merle, not Jess.

I nodded to his words and knew she didn't want anyone talking about Bob or how she was felling. So I would be there when she would be ready.

Rick marched in. He talked to Daryl and then they came to us. Before one of them could say something the woman looked up to them. "He was a good man. Saw him go down."

I was surprised. Why would she say that? "You are a damn good liar." Rick eyed her with a hand on his weapon.

"He was attacked by rotters. That's the story." She spoke again.

"You said the trade was a bad idea." Daryl stood next to Rick. "What changed?"

"Lamson was our shot." She went on. "So it's this or you go in guns blazing, right?"

"You don't want that." Daryl approached her. "Is this some bullshit ya'r spinnin?" Daryl pointed a finger at her. He hated to be lied to and this talk of hers smelled of deceit.

"I know the good ones from the bad." She pleaded. "Let us help you."

"What about you?" Rick turned to the man. "You wanna live? How much?" His eyes became small when he eyed the cop who was looking at Rick with a deadpan face. There it was again: Rick the cruel killing machine. If I wouldn't have known him and had to look into this eyes now, I would cave in. This was how I thought a bad cop would act in an interrogation.

"Dawn's afraid she'll look weak in front of us." He answered. "Thinks it'll tip things against her. Hell, it will." He went on and I wondered why he was talking voluntary. There was no gun directed at any one of them. They were only handcuffed and we hadn't threaten to kill them.

Except that Rick just killed one of them.

Moments later Daryl and I were standing at the upper parking level. Looking through our riffle scopes. He snapped his finger when a police car approached. Behind us Tyrese used the walkie-talkie to inform Rick they were coming. We both observed Rick and how the police car approached him. Two male cops excited the car and immediately pointed their guns at Rick. "I'll take the right one and you the left." Daryl told me.

Through my scope the target cross was directed at the man's head. I opened my left eye to see Rick putting his gun to the ground and turning around. The police man moved towards him. I closed my left eye again to follow the cops head with the target cross. Suddenly Daryl fired a shot. At first I was shocked but then I realized he didn't kill the cop but an approaching walker. I opened my left eye again to see the greater picture.

"Nice shot." I told him. Just one shot and the walker was dead dead.

It didn't take long until Rick held a thumb up. We did it. They wanted to trade. I was as happy as can be, so far there was no human being dead. And no one had gotten hurt. This was our lucky day.

Since when do you count yourself lucky? Do you remember Bob's words in the prison …

"When have we ever been that lucky …" I whispered.

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it. I wish all of you a happy day :)
See you soon