We went up the hospital. Our newly found friends weren't handcuffed, but our first prisoners were. Rick and one of the cops were leading our group. It went smooth … but I was afraid of the big bang at the end of our journey. I was walking behind Rick and next to Daryl who was holding the female cop. I forgot her name, but it didn't matter anyway, we wouldn't stay for long. Rick stopped in front of a closed door looking through the glass.

"Holster your weapons." A female voice said over the radio.

When Rick turned to us I could see through the glass too. There was a dark corridor and at the end there were cops – of course there were more of these wannabe police men – Carol in a wheelchair and behind her Beth. I hope Carol could use her legs, was good to go and didn't need any more surgery or something like that. There was no doctor around. Our group had been minimized to our leader Rick the killing machine, Daryl the hunter, Michonne the beheader, Carl the kid – I was lucky he wasn't around to hear my thinking – Judith the baby, Sasha and Tyrese the siblings, and me Ella the good-for-nothing-but-trouble badass.

You are giving yourself too much credit. You ain't that cool. My brother hissed with a laugh. I thought more of 'Daryl the lover'.

I just hoped we would be reunited with the others soon.

No more listing? What about Glenn the fastest delivery guy in the apocalypse. Thanks for the humor in that kind of situation.

"You, too." Rick told us. And everybody holstered their weapons. I secured the riffle on my back and looked at the knife on my thigh. It was easy to grab and use it. I was still waiting for Bob's voice to tell me "I told you so."

Is one voice in your head not enough?

The two cops opened the door and walked on to meet their group. The one in front was looking like a female Rick. The way she held herself was exactly the same. Maybe she had been a real cop. Beth and Carol moved forward, waiting to be exchanged. We waited at the open door. Taking a closer look at Beth she looked almost like me. Her face had huge treated cuts. What the fuck had they done to her? Almost the same … it echoed in my head. It wasn't my brother speaking it was my inner broken little girl, the one who had been tortured and then hid in the furthest corner of my body. But now she started screaming.

"They haven't been hurt." Rick spoke first.

But our people had been hurt. I clenched my fist. How could they harm a sweet little girl and a harmless woman?

Carol isn't that harmless … Do you remember what she did?

Yeah, but they hadn't known her. They had just seen her and run her over.

"Where is Lamson?" Was the answer of the woman in the front. It sure was Dawn.

"Rotters got him." The woman said. Rick held her while Daryl was holding the human bulldog. I was standing close to Daryl – as always. She was a good liar.

"We saw it go down." Daryl's captive told Dawn too. To be honest the man didn't really look convinced, but Down nodded.

An "Oh." escaped Dawn's lips. She nodded again. "I'm sorry to hear that. He was one of the good guys."

Noah stood right next to me. Both of his fists were clenched. I pushed him more behind me, but it was too late. They had seen every one of us.

As if you could hide such a tall kid behind your stature. You are way smaller than him. But nice try. There you are, trying to protect someone you barely know. A good feeling aroused in my bones. You are a strong girl, not a good-for-nothing-but-trouble badass. You are a worthy part of the group!

"One of yours for one of mine." Dawn told us.

"Alright." Rick nodded and looked over to Daryl.

I touched Daryl's shoulder when he started to move forward. "Move." He told the man and nodded towards me with a reassuring look.

On the other side a cop and Carol set in motion too. They met halfway. While Daryl returned with Carol, Rick went on as was Dawn with Beth. I couldn't believe my eyes, Rick hugged Beth and came back. Everything went well. Even Noah heaved a sigh of relief behind me. Daryl and Carol smiled at each other. My lips smiled too and I took a step into Beth direction. This little girl looked so tough, the scars made visible how much of a fighter she was.

"Glad we could work things out." Dawn said.

I took Beth in my arms and placed a kiss on the top of her head. Emotions raced through me. I loosened the hug and she immediately turned to Daryl who hugged her too. Noah smiled seeing Beth so close. He placed his hand on her shoulder and she happily turned to him. "Glad you found them!"

"Me too." He answered.

We all turned to walk away. It was easy … so a normal hostage exchange – as far as this could count as normal – still existed.

You mean no killing, shooting and dying?

Yeah … So there were still people around who were not lying and acting all 'Phillip'. I patted Noah on the back. "Yeah, glad you found us." I smiled. "Let's get out of here."

"Now I just need Noah." Dawn stated behind us in a hard voice. But when I turned around her face didn't mirror her voice. "And then you can leave."

Rick immediately turned and walked towards her. "That wasn't part of the deal."

"Noah was my ward. Beth took his place and I'm losing her, so I need him back."

"Ma'am, please it's not …" The woman we had imprisoned with Lamson started but Dawn silenced her.

"Shepherd." Dawn was now all leader. Her hard features showed how much she wanted to show how tough she wanted to be in front of her group. "My officers put their lives on the line to find him." She looked at Noah. "One of them died."

Noah made a step in Dawn's direction, but I stopped him. "You are not going anywhere except with us." I told him and stepped in front of him again.

Daryl stepped forward. "He ain't staying."

"He is one of mine. You have no claim on him." She told Daryl.

Claim … this word. Rage started to boil in me.

Do not start to see red.

But I already started to walk past Daryl. "Noah is not your possession. You have no claim on him." I pronounced the word claim hard. My hand wandered to my knife. I walked closer and stood next do Rick now.

"Well then we do not have a deal." Dawn stood as if she was from an old western movie. Her right hand was twitching at her thigh, as if she would draw her gun soon.

"The deal is done." Rick stated, his right hand was now at his gun too.

"It's okay." Noah stammered.

"No." Rick silenced him, holding his hand up. This was the Rick I had looked up too. The one protecting the group. "No!"

But Noah didn't stop walking. "I got to do this."

"No you don't." I told him.

Noah gave me a sad smile and pulled the gun from behind his back to give it back to Rick. He started to walk and I immediately fell into his step. "Noah, don't go." I tried to stop him when Beth walked fast towards Noah, grabbing him in a tight hug. Dawn walked towards us too and I grabbed my knife. "Don't you dare walk any closer."

"It's okay." Noah said again.

I eyed this fucking Dawn person. The small smile on her lips about her little victory added fuel to the fire that burned in my body. The rage inside me grew stronger. "You bitch." I pressed through my teeth. She stood just a step away, I could easily stab her.

"I know you'd be back." She ignored me, but not my knife. She already had a save grab around her weapon too.

Beth turned to her with tears in her eyes. I wanted to grab her to stay behind me, out of the line, but she stepped forward. "I get it now." And with a quick motion she stabbed Dawn. In the same moment a gunshot was fired. This time I actually saw red. Dawn had shot Beth in the head and the bullet went right through meeting the wall next to me. Her brain and blood was all over my face. I froze with eyes wide. Another shot was fired and Dawn went down. Her blood splashed over me too.

Everyone took their guns, ready to fire. "No!" The cop Shepherd said. "Hold your fire." I went down to my knees, grabbing Beth. "It's over." Shepherd stammered. "It was just about her. Stand down." The cops all lowered their weapons while we couldn't.

Tears escaped my eyes and fell on Beth bloody face. Looking up, Daryl stood next to me sniffling, his gun still at the cops. He had shot Dawn. He finally lowered his gun kneeling down next to us. Everybody of our group had tears in their eyes and I couldn't believe even Daryl cried. It was so close …

When have we ever been lucky … Stop it … stop … she couldn't be dead. She was the one thing in our group that was innocent, that was sweet. A sweet little girl never harming anyone … she was innocent … I shook her body, but she wasn't sleeping.

"You can stay." Shepherd told us.

"We are surviving here." I heard someone say. "It's better than out there."

I stood up while Daryl took Beth's lifeless body. "No." I took the gun from my back. But Rick stopped me.

"No." There were tears in his eyes too. It was the first time since I had seen the real Rick. The human being Rick. "And I'm taking anyone back there who wants to leave." My gun holding hand sank next to my body. "If you want to come with us just step forward now." There was blood on him too. I looked from him to the cops and wards behind them. No one moved. Maybe they were afraid of us. And I didn't mean just me and Rick who were standing in front row with blood on our faces.

Rick grabbed my shoulder and turned me to leave with him. He put his arm around me and we walked back to our group. I saw Dawn's dead body on the ground and then dead-Beth in Daryl's arms. We all moved to the doors. When I wanted to look back to see if Noah would come with us, he stepped beside me nodding. We went down the stairs and out of the building.

The nice weather and the shining sun seemed so unreal. We just had lost Beth the innocent little angel of our flock. Daughter of Hershel … Now they both were dead. A loud wailing made me stop. There they were … Glenn, Maggie, Michonne and the others. Maggie was crying loudly seeing her sister's dead body in Daryl's arms. He walked towards her while Maggie broke down.

That is not how you thought this would end, heh?! No happy ending.

Would there ever be a happy ending? I looked to Carol who was supported by Tyrese. We were back together at a price no one thought we would have had to pay.

Daryl duck a grave for Beth on a nice clearing, where the sun was highlighting the green grass. A majestic willow stood tall overlooking the place. Under the willow was where we buried Beth. The priest Gabriel gave a speech no one of us was able to give. We all were silently mourning while Maggie was still crying for her sister. Sitting around the grave no one said a word. I recalled the prison, how I had met Beth. I remembered the safe places, the happy people, my friends. Why were they all smiling at me every time I recalled their faces?

Why should they cry? They have all been nice people.

I saw fatherly Dale, Amy and Andrea and now the face of Beth was added to my mental pin board. A smiling face without scars. At the end I wished to meet them all again … at the house of my granny at the lake … when I would die I wanted to meet up there and never go anywhere else. Stay close to my family.

That would be nice.

Tears started to escape my eyes again. I wiped away the tears with my sleeve but when I looked at it, it was red of blood. Suddenly a whitish rag was dangling in front of my eyes. "Ya should wash your face." I looked up to meet Daryl's eyes. He handed me the rag and a bottle of water.

The fabric wasn't clean at all, but who cared. I wetted the rag and washed my face. Afterwards the rack had lost its whitish glow completely. I didn't know I had so much blood in my face. "Thanks." I threw the rag to the ground and drank the bottle.

"We had been on the road together after we didn't meet up after the prison." Daryl sat down next to me. "We had been waiting for days and went back to the prison, but there was no one except the dead. I couldn't believe you and Merle didn't show up so I assumed you were dead. Or hoping somewhere else." This was the first time he told me his story. You could hear he thought I had been dead too. "I remember Beth singing a song and played piano in one of our hideouts. She had a beautiful voice." Indeed she had an angel-like voice. His eyes were on her grave. His voice sounded heavy and far away. "But when we ran from our last hideout she was suddenly gone. She went first and when I tried to meet her at the street a dark car with a white cross drove away. If I would have been fast enough … I could have …"

I took his hand. "Don't do that to yourself. It all happened and we can't go back. Can't change the past."

"I wish for many things to not have happened." Daryl said lowly.

I didn't want him to feel responsible for anything that had happened, so I told him my story. "Merle pulled me away from the prison like you have ordered him to. We stood at a bridge and waited for days. He didn't let me get back to the prison. He was always talking about the promise he gave you." I laughed lowly. "Your damn brother didn't let anything happen to me."

Aren't you missing out the Jess-part?

"He was wounded. When Jess came out of the woods he told us he had seen you going down while trying to destroy the tank. He told us you were dead." I sighed. Why had I believed him? I should have gone back … "We eventually set out, cause your damn brother needed something for his wound. Found a house at the end of the street and stood there for a night. Your brother gave me that tattoo in this house." The phoenix on my back would always be a reminiscence of Merle. "At that house we met a member of the group I had been with after I had lost you at camp." Paul had told me he and others were living at Hilltop, a safe place. "Some of this group had survived and now live in Hilltop. He invited us to join his group. But we wanted to find our group first." For a moment I fell silent. I had buried all feelings because I had thought he was dead. I looked from my hand to his face. "When I was outside Len found me. I didn't know where he dragged me, but in the end I found you." Before he had the chance to say a thing I went on. "It happened but I don't care. I have you back … you are alive."

Even I was happy we were alive it wasn't a happy moment. We were sitting at Beth's grace. My eyes wandered from Daryl to the others. Everybody was dealing with Beth's death in his own way. Carol and Tyrese were talking silently while Sasha was collecting wood. It would soon be dark. Carl was holding Judith and Michonne was watching over them. All of them staring at the grave of Beth. Maggie had her head buried in her knees, but you could still hear her crying. Glenn was holding her, comforting her in every possible way.

"This should have never happened." Daryl pulled me back from observing my friends. "Not to Beth and not to ya."

I sadly smiled at him, but he didn't smile. Moist eyes were looking at me. I had never seen this look on his face. I touched his cheek gently and pressed my lips lightly on his. When we parted he pulled me into him and placed a kiss on my head. He hugged me tight as if we hadn't seen each other for years. The warmth of his body felt good. We lingered like this wordlessly enjoying the other's warmth.

At some point Rick walked with Noah to the van he and Daryl had found somewhere on the road. Eugene joined him at the van. Daryl stood up still holding my hand to follow him. We both walked to join the others, as was Glenn. Maggie still hadn't moved, she was still sitting at the grave with her head buried in her hands. Now it wasn't only Sasha who was mourning for her beloved, but Maggie too. And I knew nothing could ease the pain or sooth their soul. When we arrived at the van, I looked at Eugene, who looked as pale and foolish. How could I have imagined he could save the world?

You just wanted this world to be normal again. Who didn't want this apocalypse to end?

Glenn had told us their story when we had been driving to find a place for Beth to rest forever. I had felt so stupid to have believed in him.

"It was secure. It has walls, homes, 20 people." Rick told us. My thoughts snapped back and I looked at Noah. Secure … ha … this word didn't exist anymore, but I kept my mouth shut. "Beth wanted to go with him. She wanted to get him there." Rick locked around, but not everybody was meeting his gaze. Glenn looked to the ground the whole time maybe thinking the same thing I did. "It's a long trip, but if it works out, it's the last long trip we have to make."

"And what if it isn't around anymore." Glenn finally said out loud what I had been thinking. He didn't know Noah, why should he go all the way for a stranger.

"Then we keep going." Rick reassured.

"Then we will find a new place." Michonne appeared behind me.

"Where's that place?" Daryl asked next to me.

Noah turned his head slightly to look at him. "Outside Richmond, Virginia."

"No." I said lowly. "I can't go." A lost memory screamed in my brain. "Merle …" Glenn looked up to me. "I have to find him first. If we go now, we might never come back and Merle is still around somewhere close … I am not leaving this state."

Rick turned to me. "Do you have any idea where he is?"

I shook my head. "After the prison we went to a bridge … then south … Merle told us to always move south."

"Us?" Glenn asked.

"Me and Jess."

"Jess is dead?" He asked.

In my heart he was. "No … I don't know." My eyes were on the ground. "I had lost them both at a hideout." Memories flashed my mind.

"Let's split." Daryl stated. "We go and look for ma brother and then we meet up in Richmond."

"No …" Rick stepped towards us. "We don't split up ever again."

"Have to." I was glad Daryl wanted to look for his brother. "He's family too." He looked to Noah. "Like he wants to see his family again. So you should go."

Abraham hadn't said a word till we had been reunited, now he joined our small group. "What if the place is gone and we go on … where do we meet then?" No one said a word. "I found a map, let's find out where he might be first." He opened the van's door and I only saw his plumber's smile when he searched for the map.

Rick had set a plan, he wanted to bring Noah back home safe. And he would. I turned to Daryl. "Merle said to walk south, because you would walk south." Daryl gave out a short laugh.

Abraham came back and showed us a map of Georgia. "Here."

"That's where the prison must have been." Daryl pointed on the map. "And that's where the hospital is." Daryl pointed on Atlanta.

"That's far away. We have been moving north …" Georgia is huge … where to go? Where would he go? "Maybe we should go back to the prison."

Rick stood wordless beside Abraham studying the map too, but before he could say a word Noah spoke up. "We find your family first. I am not going to let you guys separate." He nodded to Daryl. "Beth talked about you and Maggie all the time. I don't want you guys to be separated again." He turned to Rick. "I have been away for some time now … a few more days won't matter." But his eyes screamed home. He was a good kid, but he deserved to get home.

Thanks for reading! I wish you all a great day :)
R&R