Potency

"Ok." said Seb. The whole mission had been simpler than expected, and it was literally smooth sailing from there onwards. "We're on the ship, and it's all smooth sailing from- "

"Launch it!" Kezda commanded, and a laser narrowly missed the boat.

"The heck?" swore Forsyth.

Everybeast turned back to see the incoming weapon.

"Oh no…" said Skoven, trying to control his trembling. "It's here."

"The Devourer…" Eula looked as she was mortally struck.

"So it has a name…" Bard exclaimed.

"Of course it has a name!" Seb shouted.

"Look!" Mekai pointed towards a shadow next to the mouse by the shore. "Beside the general! An Umbrage!"

"Famfrit." Eula's determination returned to her. "It can only be them!"

"Well duh," Jared was less than impressed. "We've only met one of them."

"Overdramatic unmasking!" cried Famfrit, removing his mask to reveal the face of Mekai.

Everyone looked from Mekai to Famfrit, then back at Mekai.

"This had nothing to do with me, I assure you," said the sable, a little bit flustered.

"What? Mekai's the Umbrage?" Eula blinked.

"Well duh," scoffed Fret. "They share the same voice actor. We're not stupid! Anyone with half a brain - and even Seb - could have figured that out!"

"Mekai, noooooooooooo!" screamed Eula.

Kio's autotranslate sounded. "No."

0000

"So… why did you call us back?" Sebias asked, ever the voice of exposition.

Eula shrugged, "Just wanted to give you some context to what's going on all this time."

Sebias shrugged. "Sure, why not?"

"Famfrit is actually possessing another world's iteration of Mekai, and it was her who sent the dream message to me about the Suneater before that happened. The Devourer is powered by the Suneater, who's unable to manifest its true form, but would eventually have the power to do so," explained the badger as naturally as she breathed. After all, as a non-player character in an MMORPG, she was literally programmed to do that.

"What do we have to do now? Travel to Salamandastron to ask for help? Invade Southsward to force Kezda to turn back? Go directly to the other world to distract the Suneater and the Umbrages?"

"No!" Eula shook her head. "Now you go to the ruined abbey of Redwall and destroy Kezda and the Devourer!"

"Go to the bad guys' lair and destroy them?" Seb raised an eyebrow. "Sounds a bit too straightforward."

"Well, it is Redwall we're talking about. Ever read Mattimeo? Marlfox? High Rhulain?"

"Fair enough."

0000

Not long after, the brave adventurers found themselves facing a stoat mole wielding a pair of shields. "So you'm the Taggerungs, huh? Too bad yon-

Fret cut the molespeech short. "What kind of idiot brings two shields to a swordfight?"

Rainald glared at the offending ferret. "The kind that's going to crush you, 'at is!"

"You know, I watched Jared's guide to beating bosses on his channel, and your guide was actually longer than your boss battle," said Seb, brandshing his sword.

"'At's because 'e battle's so 'ard that studyin' 'ow to beat me takes hours!"

Jared cleared his throat. "Well… the guide's a hundred seconds long. You do the math."

Rainald's shields sunk to the floor. "Aww…" was the last thing he said before the four warriors dogpiled him.

0000

"Tell me, for whom do you fight?" Kezda asked.

Sebias looked around in confusion. "Er…"

"Shush!" said Jared. "It's funnier if you don't respond."

"How very glib! Do you believe in Mossflower?"

"What now?" demanded Fret.

"Mossflower's unity is forged on falsehoods. Its city-states are built on deceit, and its faith is an instrument of deception. It is nought but a cobweb of lies - to believe in Mossflower is to believe in nothing. In Mossflower, the vermin tribes often summon Elementals to fight in their stead. Though your comrades rarely respond in kind - which is stange, is it not? Is Martin the Warrior preoccupied? I was given to understand he was your protector. If you truly believe so, would you call him forth from where he is, and would he strike me down? He will answer, as long as you feed him with your aether. Your warrior is no different than those of vermin, but you rely on them still, as you lack the strength to do otherwise! For the world of the living to mean anything, the living must own the world! To this end, everybeast has always fought to raise himself through conflict, to grow rich through conquest. And when the dust of battle settles, it is ever the strong who dictate the fate of the weak. Only a beast of power can steer the course of civilisation in this land of creeping mendacity. Come, champion of Mossflower, and face me! Your defeat shall serve as proof of my strength!"

"Ist es vorbei? Bist du fertig?" asked Kio, glancing around.

"This is so going to be a copypasta!" Jared squealed.

A/N: Happy birthday, Rose. Have another good year, et cetera et et cetera.