What I Wish I Could've Said
Rated: T
Disclaimer: I own nothing... Obviously. Just playing in someone else's sandbox for a bit.
Summary: Hindsight is always 20/20. Everyone has a single moment that they wish they could have said something better than what they actually did. A completely random series of what-if vignettes.
A/N: Ehhh, so this one's about twice as long as it should be. Oh, well. But, I just couldn't help myself. And, keep those suggestions coming! Some of them have already been incorporated into the pipeline. I'm not saying which yet, but you'll all see soon enough. :)~
Ch 2: That Time Booth Got a Lapdance
Despite the fact that Brennan had accompanied Booth to a strip club, she was surprised that it wasn't a louder, more garish atmosphere than she had originally anticipated. It also amused her, slightly, that Strawberry Lust turned out to be a blonde stripper. When they had completed their interrogation of Strawberry Lust, Brennan nodded in agreement with Booth's plan to leave the club to question another person of interest, despite the fact that their conversation with the stripper had put Brennan in an odd frame of mind. Her odd mood went to pure evil when she saw Booth refuse to get up from the chair in which he still sat with Strawberry Lust still on his lap.
The strained look on Booth's face entertained Brennan, although she did her utmost to hid her delight as she nodded at the door and spoke. "Then, tell Miss Lust to get up."
The stripper laughed, a shallow almost brittle laugh as she ground her hips into Booth's lap and nodded at him with a grin, "I think that might be a little embarrassing right now, huh, baby?"
Clearly embarassed, Booth looked at the stripper and said in a choked voice, "That's my gun." Brennan frowned at his words, knowing Booth's shoulder holster held his gun at a length that in no way could be mistaken for being anywhere in the vicinity of his pelvis. Almost as if he was mocking Brennan's thoughts, Booth then turned, a pleading look in his eyes as he desperately asked, "Give us a minute?"
Deciding not to make it easy on Booth, Brennan sat back down in her chair, getting comfortable. "Why?"
"Why what?" Booth asked.
"Why do you need a minute?" Brennan asked. "You already told Miss Lust it was your gun, allegedly, which she apparently misperceived as a physical response to her excellently-controlled hip movements. So, if that's true, Booth, why do you need a minute?"
"Outside," Booth grumbled. "Please, Bones. Outside, now."
Tilting her head, Brennan replied, as if to purposely infuriate Booth by chosing when to be too literally dense, "What's outside?"
"Can you go outside, please?" Booth asked her, clarifying what he really wanted, and in so doing, once again his voice betraying the desperation behind his question.
Swallowing back a cackle, Brennan turned to the stripper and tilted her head as she inquired, "Why... did we get our 60 dollar's worth yet?"
"Well, that all depends, sweetie," Strawberry Lust said as she inclined her head to look at Brennan, mirroring the anthropologist's earlier movement. "I know he's gotten his sixty dollars worth yet, but have you?"
"Have I what?" Brennan asked.
"Have you enjoyed watching?" the stripper asked plainly.
Brennan considered the question before she replied, "I'm uncertain how to respond to that question, Miss Lust. While I have found your conversation to be beneficial to our investigation, from a personal standpoint, I can say I've only been mildly amused by watching you make Booth squirm. So, I suppose to be honest, I must say I have slightly enjoyed your efforts, but not as much as I might've."
"For another forty dollars, I can take you two back to a more private room if you want to see him squirm some more, sweetie," Strawberry Lust offered with a knowing look. "Would that make things more enjoyable for you?"
Without even thinking about it, Brennan immediately reached into her purse, promptly withdrew three crisp twenty-dollar bills, and offered them to Strawberry Lust. "Yes, I think so. Provided it's a very private room," Brennan emphasized, handing the dancer more money than for which she had asked.
"All righty!" the stripper laughed as she took the money with a nod of understanding as she met Brennan's gaze for a few brief, but crucial seconds. She then popped up off Booth's lap, grabbed his hand, and pulled him up behind her. "Right this way, baby," she laughed.
"Whoa!" Booth said. "Okay, ladies, ha ha. The funnies are on the dumb male. I get it. But, really, I think that this thing has gone far enough—"
Brennan, quickly bringing up the rear, gave Booth a good shove forward. "Be quiet, Booth. Stop being rude and follow Miss Lust, please. We want to make certain we're getting our money's worth, after all."
His eyes wide in surprise, Booth was about to say something, although Brennan would never know what it was, as Strawberry Lust perfectly timed her intervention to cease Booth's protestations. Pulling on his arm even harder, almost yanking him forward into the darkest corners of the club, the stripper guided him towards a private room, and Brennan reemphasized the fact that Booth had little choice but to follow as she firmly pressed on the small of his back with an open palm. Soon, Strawberry Lust suddenly stopped their journey of odd twists and turns as she stood in front of a door, opened it, pulled Booth inside, and gently pushed him down into a large leather chair that sat in the middle of the room. Finally releasing his hand, Strawberry Lust saw Brennan enter just after them and nodded her approval with a smile.
"He's all yours, sweetie."
Quickly darting around Brennan, the stripper disappeared out the door through which they had entered, closing it with a sharp thud behind her. Brennan went to the door, locked it from the inside, and then spun on her heels to face Booth, who sat watching her with hungry eyes. Taking a step towards him, Brennan smiled the evil smile she had been hiding since they walked into the strip club as she said, "Now, how about we see if you were telling the truth to Miss Lust earlier, Booth, or if you were actually lying, as I suspect?"
"About what?" Booth rasped, his voice rough and about an octave deeper than normal.
"Hmmm," Brennan began, eyeing Booth appreciatively. "I think it was something about your gun?" Brennan reminded him, taking another step towards Booth and licking her lips in anticipation. "Because, if you were lying, and I think you were, then we definitely will have gotten our sixty dollars worth by the time we're finished here."
"And, how's that, Bones?" Booth somehow managed to utter, the disbelief and want clear in his voice.
"Because," Brennan said, coming to sit on his lap in a position remarkablely mimicking that of Strawberry Lust's earlier movements. "By the time we're done here, once and for all, I intend for you to comprehend the fact that the only woman who ever is going to feel your gun again is me."
-TBC-