Footsteps echoed through the empty hallway, another botched mission, more soldiers to replace. Keith supposed that he should count himself lucky, though, having evaded a fatal shot to the head (although, evaded was a loose term. He made it so he didn't die, which was good, he survived. He loved it when he did that.)

Kolivan told him to go to the infirmary, saying that Kyösti would be more than willing to help him with any injuries he got. Keith ignored the metal door that led into the sterilized room, making a bee-line for the training room (that's what it was called, right? He had been at the base for around a month and a half - a phoeb and a half? - and still didn't know what they called things).

There were only a few soldiers there, given the late hour. He ignored them, going over to a training bot (none of the other Marmora members liked to spar with him, he didn't know why though), taking out his blade when the doors that he had just came through opened. Kolivan stood in the doorway, an eyebrow raised as he and the younger made eye contact.

"Kit, I thought I told you to see Kyösti." Keiths' lips parted, the retort on his toung dying when he saw the expression his leader wore. It was almost, almost sad, but why would Kolivan be sad if he didn't see Kyösti? Keith was expendable, why waste resources on a soldier who constantly blew his own cover on stealth missions.

The babe put his blade in its sheath, keeping his violet gaze locked on the ground. He heard Kolivan sigh, becoming dimly aware of the fact the other Marmora members had ceased their spar, looking between the two. "Kit, come with me."

The taller held out an arm, beckoning Keith over to him, he followed, jumping when an arm slid under his own, another sliding under his knees. Keith looked up to Kolivan, face beginning to redden as he heard the muffled laughter of the sparring soldiers. "Please, put me down, sir." His voice cracked, why did his voice crack? He was 18 (19?), not 12.

"Will you walk with me to the infirmary?"

Keith didn't say anything, looking at his collapsed hands that lay in his lap. Kolivan knew he wouldn't, meaning that he was getting too predictable, if that information got out an enemy could use that to their advantage. He needed to change.

The lights were beginning to brighten, signalling morning. Kolivan was warm, it was nice, comforting. It reminded him of Shiro (Fuck, he hadn't thought of Shiro in a while, he wondered if he missed him, if the Paladins missed him. He doubted it. When Shiro disappeared the team fell apart, they could barely function without their leader. But Keith? He didn't matter, he was replaceable, expendable.

Shiro didn't care when he left, none of them did. And that hurt, because he thought that even if the others hated him, Shiro would always be there. But he wasn't, not anymore.)

The door in front of them swished open, Kyösti looking up from where he was working, eyes falling on Keith - who Kolivan still had in his arms. The medic smiled, although whether it was in sympathy or amusement Keith hadn't a clue. "Kit, what did you do now?"

Standing on a box next to Kolivan wasn't his best moment, but he refused to let the Paladins think that he was as small as he was. They were having a checkup on the state of Voltron, as well as giving any information they had gathered. Keith wasn't aware of the conversation happening, his mind beginning to drift even though he tried his best to keep up.

His hand latched onto his wrist, nails digging into the fabric, an attempt to ground himself. The voices began to mix, he was dimly aware that he was giving a response to a question, he was dimly aware of the fact that the Paladins eyes often drifted towards him (for what reason, he didn't know, maybe they forgot him so quickly that they didn't recognize him? Maybe thought that he was some weird hybrid instead of someone who fought by their side?)

He felt a hand clamp down on his shoulder, looking up to see Kolivans eyes darting to his then back to the screen. The Paladins were silent, still looking at Keith, did they ask him a question he didn't respond to? Did he say something wrong?

"Keith," Shiros' voice rang in his ears, violet eyes darting to meet silver ones through a screen. "Are you sure you're okay? Last time we saw each other in person you were injured, and you ran off without saying much to us." Keith silently cursed himself, of course they would take offense to him running off. Why was he so stupid?

"Oh, sorry for running off." Was all he said, judging by the way Shiros' eyebrows furrowed, that wasn't the right thing to say. He looked to Kolivan, silently asking why the Paladins were acting strange.

"No, it's fine that you ran off Keith," Pidge was speaking, standing near the back so the Blades could fully see her. "It's just that we were worried about you, you were hurt." Keith glanced down to his chest, where armour hid bandages from his last mission.

"Why?" He cocked his head, genuinely confused on what was happening. "I'm not part of Voltron, why would you worry, it's just a waste of time." He fucked up again, didn't he. The Paladins looked appalled, maybe even concerned - so did Kolivan, it was weird. "I uh, I'm gonna go now." He jumped off the box, backing out of the room.

When the door slid closed, he let himself sink down, why was he so bad at not being bad at everything?