There were times where Keith missed Shiro, and his borderline overbearing worry when it came to him.
This, was in fact, not one of those times.
"Are we gonna talk about what happened?" Shiro broke the silence, an awkward tension hanging around the three. "I mean, you kinda of just, stop responding in the meeting and passed out-"
Keith groaned, throwing his head back against the wall. "Maybe I passed out because it's what cool people do." Shiro stared at him with that look on his face, the one that was basically yelling that he just said something stupid - one the bore a disturbing similarity to the look Kolivan seemed to wear half the time he was around Keith.
"Yeah, no. No I don't think that's what happened." Shiro shifted, rocking back on his heels as his fingers twisted against the fabric of his suit. Either a nervous tick or he want to punch Keith, either would be entirely plausible.
Kolivan stopped staring at him for a moment, his eyes darting over to Shiro for a breath before returning to Keith, "Yes, I agree with the Paladin."
"Well I don't," Keith pushed himself away from the wall he was leaning on, flexing his fingers as his lack of an actually decent wardrobe made itself apparent to him. "Besides, passing out now and again does wonders for the mind."
"I really don't think it does, Keith." Shiro stepped forward, his hand reaching for Keith before he paused, letting it dangle in the air and drop to his side. Keith snorted, here he was trying his best to not talk about something and Shiro was doing his best to talk about it, "You don't have to push yourself to the point of causing harm, you know that, right?"
Keith hummed, "Of course, of course."
Shiro looked doubtful at that, but Kolivan seemed happy enough to step away from the doorway. Seemed like he wanted to get off this ship as much as Keith did, nodding his head towards the hallway leading to the hanger. Keith waved to Shiro, "I'll see you around, man."
Shiro did not wave back
In hindsight, trying to kill himself to save the Paladins while Matt was on his comms' wasn't his best move. But then again neither was hooking up with that one alien that looked vaguely like Andrew Garfield, so Keith didn't care all to much about the consequences that could potentially come after that lovely little stunt.
That mindset changed when he entered the castle's lounge and was greeted with flat stares from the Paladin's. Tension was thick in the room, wrapping itself around his throat as is gaze found Matt's, who didn't look guilty at all, and decided that all decorum would be thrown out the window.
"Snitch."
Matt blinked at him, his brows raised as the gestured to the others in the room, "So you just like, weren't gonna tell them if I didn't?" He didn't sound all too impressed, but then again Keith wasn't all too impressed with him at the moment.
"Yeah that sums it up pretty much."
"Seriously man?" Lance piped up, running a hand down his face as he looked at the ground. "You were just gonna fucking- kill yourself and be done with it?"
Keith clicked his tongue, feeling very awkward now that everyone had their gazes on him. "When you put it like that it makes it sound like I wanted to die."
Hunk huffed out a breath, his brows drawn taut as tilted his head to look up to the ceiling, "isn't that what happened?"
"Heh?"
Shiro leaned forward then, pressing his lips together in a thin line, "What their trying to say is," he sighed, rubbing at his eyes and Keith felt a stab of guilt pulse through him, he never was a fan of making Shiro worry. Sucks that he did so often, though. "You seemed real willing to die, even when you didn't fully know if what you about to lay your life down for would save us."
Matt hummed, kicking off the wall and striding towards him, "Exactly," he throw an arm over Keith's shoulders, leaning down to look him in the eye and Keith found himself very irritated at the fact Matt was taller than him. "It wasn't the best thought out plan for someone who's supposedly very smart when it came to survival."
Keith cleared his throat, scratching at his neck, "I mean, I've never been opposed to dying-"
Lance threw his hands up with disbelieving laugh, "That's how you wanna start your defense?" He ran a hand through his hair, tugging lightly at the locks, "by saying "I'm not suicidal but also I'm kinda suicidal'? What kind of sense does that make?"
Keith let out an angry breath, brushing Matt's arm off his shoulder. He didn't need to explain himself, not to them, not to Matt, and hopefully not to Kolivan. The Paladin's didn't need him anymore, they made that glaringly obvious when they jumped at the chance to get Shiro back as their leader. "Keith, wait-"
"Matt-" Keith looked down, turning towards the doorway, "I know you worry, but I'm fine. You're fine, we're all fine."
He looked up, waving to the Paladin's, to Shiro, "I'll," he bit his lip, eyes stinging with something he couldn't place. "I'll see you guys around sometime, yeah?"
They didn't respond. So he turned away, past the Red Lion that called out to him in that soft voice of hers.
Keith wished that Shiro had waved back