A/N: Thank you to everyone who reviewed. It means so much that you took the time to write back.
This story is focused on the different ways people behave after a break up, specifically the toxic ones. Essentially, a "don't do any of these things" manual.
The first chapter centered more on denial. It's usually the initial reaction, trying to deny that anything is wrong with the relationship. Some behaviors are: ignoring the entire conversation, continuing to behave as if still together, insisting that what they are saying/feeling are incorrect. In the first chapter Mamoru reacts with confusion, because it came out of nowhere. Then when she explains again, he doesn't agree and therefore he ignores it. By the third time, he pulls the "turning the tables" on her. Although she was the one who broke up with him, he behaves like he's the one who is breaking up with her.
The second chapter will focus on the lashing out stage. Some refer to it as revenge (vengeful state), or cause and effect (You did this so I ended up doing that. Basically they try to blame their behavior on the other person's actions. They aren't taking responsibility for their own choices) and if you're someone who likes to view things with a more positive connotation...people also call this "seeking comfort" (I'm rolling my eyes at people who like to use this phrasing).
Reminder: This is a darker portrayal of Mamoru. Make sure to exit out if you don't like an aggressive Mamo-chan.
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The symbol above indicates that it is the same day but different setting or change in point of view.
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The symbol above indicates a different day.
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The Premise Series
How Not To Handle a Break Up
Chapter 2
~'"'"'"~
I*'''*I
II*'''''*II
She fled the zoo on foot; sprinting to the bus stop five blocks away. It was illogical to do, there was one outside the gates. But the words that left Mamoru's mouth were chasing her. They were chasing her. She'd be eaten if they captured her.
The first two times she fell, she quickly bounced back and picked up speed. Every moment was critical, she could feel them coming close. On the third she tripped, stumbling forward. Fortunately, her time as Sailor Moon taught her how to rebound; she put forth her hand and pushed off the wet floor as her feet propelled forward. Every fumble provided more time for those words to gain ground. They were biting at her heels. And then came the fourth. She landed on her hands and knees. She'd tumbled too many times, wasted precious seconds. The moment both palms hit the gravel, they jumped on her. Heavy, so heavy. She remained there, as the rain continued its assault like the statements from his mouth.
When Usagi arrived home, she stripped herself of her clothing and showered. Water gushed forth from the slightly rusted shower head. It beaded down as she sat folding into herself. With her knees up to her chest, rocking back and forth, she cried. She cried with her hand covering her mouth. Covering her mouth to stifle the continuous sobs ripping through her chest.
The first day they broke up, she thought there was nothing worse. She was wrong. It was this day, those words, that decimated her soul. Was she dying? It felt like it. Perhaps, it would be better if she did. If she died, then the end of the universe would never happen. If she died, the pain would end.
For ten whole minutes, Usagi contemplated the idea of ending her life. Ten minutes in which she allowed her thoughts to go into the deepest and darkest recesses of her being. The emptiness swallowed her whole and she gave it permission. She did it under the warm stream of water and the white tiled bathroom; naked and alone. After the passing of six hundred seconds, the Princess's consciousness sent an empathetic wave of love. And then, Usagi Tsukino stopped thinking about the possibility of ending her life.
Rather, she decided she'd just bury herself in her room. Just, lay on the floor and become forgotten, like an old doll at the bottom of a toy chest. Chibi-Usa had come in four times in the past two days, once the day after the zoo, and three times the day after that. First, she had come in cackling. She'd spun around singing
Mamo-chan is mine.
Mamo-chan is mine.
He ditched you.
You baka.
Your ugly and your fat.
Mamo-chan hates you, hates you, hates you.
Mamo-chan loves me. loves me. loves me.
You baka.
Your ugly and your fat.
Her pink hair tossed about as she rolled gleeful in the belief that Mamo-chan had forgotten Usagi at the zoo. On the second day the child came in and threw one of her kitty pillows at the blond's head. When the teenager did nothing, she came back with a pizza and ate the whole thing in front of her. Still, her rival stared at nothing, did nothing, said nothing. The last time she entered Usagi's room, she tiptoed next to her ear and screamed, "Baka Usagi!" Yet, the child received no reaction. It was the third day and the girl had yet to make an appearance.
There was a knock at her door.
"Usagi-chan?" she heard a raspy whisper. "Usagi-chan?"
Shingo peered into the room. His sister was laying on her side, her back to the door. She hadn't left the room for three days. He also noticed, she hadn't eaten. It was beginning to worry him. Not that he worries about her. It was just...odd that Usagi wasn't stuffing her face and running around the house. He felt...a little scared. Usually it was his mom's job to check on everyone's well being. She wasn't around lately. Was he supposed to do it? When she didn't answer, he closed the door and called Chibi-Usa over.
Shingo was short compared to a majority of students at the junior high school. He hadn't grown much from grade six. His dad tried consoling him by saying that the Tsukino men's growth spurt didn't come until their late teens. Frankly, Shingo Tsukino didn't care. So what if he was short. It didn't bother him. It didn't stop him from doing whatever he wanted. Plus, he was quite sure Ami wasn't into superficial things like height. She was into intelligence. So the only thing he really cared about, was he wasn't a total ditz like his sister. If he was, there'd be no chance with Ami Mizuno. And that woman was a blue haired goddess.
The tiny girl rushed over instantly. Out of all the people she met in the twentieth century, Shingo was one of the most interesting. He pulled the funniest pranks and could think his way out of anything. In fact, she thought he was cleverer than Princess Mercury. Even her friends at school thought he was the coolest.
Sometimes Ikuko-mama would have Shingo walk her to school. Once they'd get on campus she'd strut next to him like a peacock with her chin held high. She'd see all the kids point at him in awe. He was a legend at her grade school. He'd pulled some really funny pranks on teachers and other students when he was younger. But he never got caught. She basked in the admiration of her classmates. "Awe man..." she could hear them whispering amongst each other, "...she's so lucky!" "...yea, that's her cousin!"
"Hey Chibi, what's going on with Usagi-chan?"
"Oh, she's throwing a tantrum. Mamo-chan forgot her at the zoo."
"What'dya mean forgot?"
"Me and Mamo-chan and Baka went to the zoo. But she disappeared and he took me home." The little girl shrugged. "Aaaaand," she added. "I think she made Mamo-chan mad, because he had a really sour face after he talked to her. She must've said something stupid, that baka."
"That's it?"
"Yup! Anything else?" The cone haired child loved helping him.
"Nah. Thanks." She gave him a big smile before skipping back to her room.
Shingo rubbed his chin with his thumb, mulling over the information. After ten minutes of standing outside her door, he made a decision. He knocked again and waited a few seconds before opening the door and walking in. Closing it, he leaned against the wall, just left of the door.
"I told a girl I liked her and she called me stupid and ugly." He watched his sister spring up in bed. She sat up staring at him, her brows down and her eyes narrow.
"She called you what!?" she shrieked.
"She said I was stupid and ugly."
"That little twit!" She stood up, her hands fists on her side. "Tell me who she is! That little ingrate. How dare she! I'll fix it, don't you worry Shingo." Usagi stomped over to her dresser and yanked it open, grabbing the first shirt her hand landed on. "Fix that little face of hers with my fist!"
"I was lying." Usagi froze, shirt still in her hand.
"You what?"
"I was lying." He could see her utter confusion; she was trying to figure out why he'd say something like that. "I needed to know you were okay," he told her.
"Okay?"
"You've been, like…in your room. You haven't come out. I was kinda…"
"Were you worried?" Usagi asked her lips curling into a smile.
"No!" He said quickly. "I – I just…wanted to make sure you weren't dead." Shingo noticed the smile fade from her face.
"No," she said softly, "I'm not dead."
"Whatever happened," he paused. "I know you can fix it."
"Yea?"
His sister was always an open book when it came to her emotions. However, she did her best to hide them most of the time. But, when she looked at him, he saw she didn't bother to push it down. She was scared and hurt. He had the sudden desire to punch whoever had made her feel that way in the face.
"Yea. It's like…your specialty. Klutz out, break something, then fix it. You're a pro fixer. No one's as experienced or as good as you."
She blinked several times and bit her lip. He wasn't sure what she was thinking, but he could tell she was having some type of internal conversation.
"Aneki," he called her. The blonde's face whipped toward her little brother. He hadn't called her that (older sister) since he was five. She felt an overwhelming sense of love. Her chest swelled in response. "I'm glad your not dead."
"Me too," she chuckled softly. She quickly wiped the tears that had fallen, and manufactured her face to one of faux annoyance. "Now get out brat so I can go fix stuff." He smiled in return.
Opening the door he walked out and shouted, "Just don't klutz out baka!"
~'"'"'"~
I*'''*I
II*'''''*II
There was an assertive knock at his door. He finished putting on his sweat pants and placed the towel around his neck. He made his way to the door insouciantly, drying the left side of his head with the towel. Another two knocks came, they were softer as if saying "goodbye I tried." He opened the door. Outside the doorway stood a very surprised Usagi.
She hadn't been sure he'd be home. It was a Thursday at 3pm. He was usually in class. But the anxiety and urgency to tell him was unbearable. It was just too difficult, too painful. And what if the dream never let up? What if, no matter what she and the senshi did fixed it? Was she willing to let him go forever? Her soulmate? Her destiny? The love of her life? No. Never. She had let this vision do too much to her life. She didn't care what Rei said, premonition or not, she wasn't going to leave him because of a nightmare.
Her eyes widened at his state of undress. She'd never seen him without clothes. Even though she'd seen shirtless men at the beach, she couldn't help but blush at the sight of his bare chest. A towel hung around his neck, his hair still damp from his shower. He looked, gorgeous. It suddenly hit her that he was the most attractive man she'd ever met...in her life—lives. And this man, for some odd reason, was in love with her. Her, a klutzy, ditzy, awkward teen. She exhaled. Had she been holding her breath all this time?
Mamoru stood staring in absolute shock. He hadn't seen her in the past five days, his entire body cried out in desperation. She was wearing a soft green t-shirt that fell just below her waist. A large Keroppi adorned the front, winking in excitement. Her legs were barely covered by her jean shorts, and her feet were sheathed in white tennis shoes. She looked absolutely perfect; she always looked perfect.
It was then that it started to sink in: what was happening, where he was, where she was; and he went into a state of panic. He needed to close the door; needed her to stay outside in the hallway and go back down to the lobby. How was he going to achieve that? He had no shirt. He would just have to tell her to come back later, that he was busy and needed to get to his next class. He began inching the door closed as she started speaking.
"Mamo-"
"Mamoru-kun, did you see my pants?" A female voice called from his bedroom. He squeezed his eyes shut, cringing at the ill-timed question. With his eyes still closed he replied.
"No."
When he opened them, he saw a pair of sapphire ones staring into his. She was looking at him with an expression he hadn't seen before. Her shoulders were tensed, whether they were raised up in fear or defense, he wasn't sure.
"I should've called. I'm sorry," she said, her voice smothered with apathy. "I'll go," She turned around to walk away. He instinctively grabbed her arm and pulled her back. He didn't like when she walked away. No matter what lifetime or form she was in, he refused to allow her to walk away.
"Wait. Why did you come?" Was there a hint of desperation in his tone?
"It doesn't matter anymore."
He stared at the back of her head. Although he couldn't see her face, he imagined she was staring at the ground; a nervous habit.
"Doesn't matter?"
"Yes." She said yes with a precision that hurt. He wasn't sure why her affirmation stung him. It brought forth a surge of anger.
"Why're you here if it doesn't matter?" He hissed.
"It did-matter, I mean...I thought it did. But, I-" She let the subject hang there, not providing it any comfort of a predicate.
"Are you trying to make me feel guilty?" He seethed. The blonde straightened up, her spine nearly snapping. She turned in towards him. His fingers kept hold of her limb. Her eyebrows raised in faux confusion when she replied.
"For what?"
"Found it!" The voice from the inside of the apartment was closer than before; a rustle of heavy steps. A beautiful brunette appeared beside Mamoru. The same brunette she'd met almost two years ago, Mamoru's classmate. What was her name again? Chi...Chihiro? Chiharu?
~'"'"'"~
The weather was unusually sticky. Moisture settled on the skin like morning dew on leaves and the walk from the bus stop to the Medicinal hall only bred more. She felt a small bead of sweat traveling down from behind her ear. She wished she hadn't decided to surprise Mamo-chan and met him at the Crown like usual. Going into his class all sweaty, was not picturesque. When she finally reached the university building she thanked the lord, pushing the glass door and basking in the air conditioned hall. She walked over to one of the benches near the wall and allowed herself some time to recuperate.
Usagi's eyes wandered about the structure. It was much larger than she expected. She always thought it was one "hall" not an entire building with different floors. There was a large staircase that allowed students to travel up to the next floor, and down to the...basement? She wasn't sure. What she did know was that she'd come in at the ground floor, so whatever was down there had to be underground...right?
Today he had pharmacology. What classroom and floor is it on? Initially she thought she'd just pop her head into all the classes until she found the right one. But her plan didn't work with multiple floors and some twenty classes on each one. She looked down the hall, then up at the staircase.
"Hey, can I help you find your class?" A boy, possibly Mamoru's age or older, asked her. He had dark brown hair, with the "boy band" haircut. His hair swept to the right side and framed his slim face. His eyes, maybe honey colored? They looked multi-dimensional. They were most interesting.
"Do you have yellow in your eyes?" she asked as she leaned closer, peering at his iris.
"Oh, uhh," he bent back slightly, "Yea."
"And green too...orange...and brown?" she was trying to take count of all the woven colors.
"Yea-yes."
"That's cool." She smiled, removing herself from his personal space. He returned with an awkward smile.
"Did you need help?"
"Oh, yes!" she said excitedly, then cocked her head to the left. "How'd you know?"
"Well, you're looking around like your lost..."
"Oh, duh!" Usagi hit the palm of her hand to her forehead. "I'm looking for Pharmacology."
"Is that with Hinata sensei or Taki sensei?" Oh, she scratched her temple. She wasn't sure. She tried to think back to the conversations that he'd made about the course. She thought she heard him say that he gave such easy tests.
"Mmm...Taki Sensei."
"Cool, you can follow me. I'm his T.A. He's on the second floor. He should just be finishing up his lecture in like ten minutes."
"Thank you," she bowed. "I'm Usagi Tsukino. You can call me Usagi-chan."
"Oh yea, you're welcome. I'm Shingo Maeda."
"Oh! That's my brother's name!" she giggled.
Shingo watched the girl in fascination. She was extremely odd, her energy, her manners, her hair...but, there was something refreshing about it.
"Did you want to wait inside?" He asked as soon as they'd reached the doors.
"Would you...would you come with me?" The blonde asked bashfully. "I dont wanna embarrass..." Shingo nodded his head. He understood. Girls were often nervous when walking in by themselves, especially during the lecture.
"Sure." Holding his commuter bag he walked in. Usagi followed closely behind; nervous that the professor might call her out and cause all those students to turn and stare at her, Mamoru would be mortified. Initially, she was going to wait outside, but she really wanted to see what a university course was.
The classroom was shaped like a horseshoe, with stadium seating separated by a long flight of carpeted steps. She counted a total of ten rows, eight seats on each side. Every row had one continuous desk. If Usagi did the math she would have said the room could hold 80 students. She would be wrong. 80 was just one side of the horseshoe. With both sides, the classroom held 160 students. The professor appeared to be around her father's age. When he spoke his forearm went up and down like a judge pounding a gavel.
Her eyes roamed the room, looking for her boyfriend's ebony hair. It took less than a minute to spot him. He sat in the third row, next to a brunette, attentively taking notes. The girl beside him was leaning forward to look at students who were sitting a level below.
The forest haired professor turned around and announced the exam would be in two weeks, emphasizing the words 'closed book.' She noticed students nod quietly, scribbling on their papers. At the end of class Usagi stood up and walked down to row three. Chiba was bending down, picking up his bag.
"Mamoru-kun are you coming to Keigo-kun's study group tonight?" The brunette inquired. With his head still bowed over his bag he shook his head. "You know, it's bad form not mingling with your future fellows." Sighing she turned to leave and was startled by a petite girl standing a few feet away on the stair.
Usagi noted how very pretty the girl was. She had deep grey eyes that reminded her of storm clouds. Her hair was slightly wavy at the ends with fringed bangs. Although her lips were a little thin, she had a beautiful nose and long neck. She heard Mamoru call from behind the girl.
"Usagi-chan?"
"Hi, Mamo-chan," she leaned to the right and waved.
The girl looked back at her dark haired friend and then back at the blonde standing on the side.
"Mamo-chan?" The grey eyed girl turned slowly to Mamoru and smirked, " 'Mamo-chan,'" she teased, "who is this cutie?" Mamoru quickly put his bag under his arm and made his way to Usagi.
"I'm his girlfriend," the blonde beamed. She wrapped her arms around his waist. He shifted uncomfortably, and slowly uncoiled her arms.
"You are adorable," her voice amiable. "I'm Chiharu Kondo...'Mamo-chan's' friend."
"Hi!" Usagi bowed, "I'm Usagi Tsukino."
"Well, Mamoooo-chan," Mamoru rolled his eyes. "Be good to this one. Tah!" Chiharu bowed courteously and walked up the stairs towards the back of the class, where a small group had congregated.
"What're you doing here?"
"I wanted to surprise you!" She grinned, reaching for his hand. Instead, he avoided the touch by readjusting his bag strap. "Did I..." she looked at the ground, "did I do something wrong? I'm sorry."
"No." Guilt sunk in as he watched her smile fall to the floor. "No, you didn't. It was nice you wanted to surprise me. Come...let's go." They started walking up when Mamoru remembered he'd left his notes on the desk. When he went down to get them, she overheard Chiharu.
"...his girlfriend, yea."
"So?" Another person asked.
"She is such a cutie. I mean super adorable. But you can tell...he doesn't find her sexually attractive," she said in a lower voice. Sexually attractive? What does that mean?
"...fragile?"
"She looks it. I told him be good with her. She's too young to feel... kind of heartbreak..."
"First time I found out, I thought I was gonna die..."
"That's my point-"
The sound of Mamoru's footsteps pulled her back. She waited for him to move ahead and continued behind him. Just as she reached the top, she remembered Shingo. Abruptly, she turned around and ran down the steps. Mamoru heard Usagi's footfalls and immediately looked back. He watched as she clopped down the stairs past the lecture stage to the teacher's assistant desk, where Maeda-sempai sat grading papers.
"Shingo-kun?" He could hear her say. How does she know him? The upper classman looked up and a pink tint colored his cheeks. "Thank you."
He nodded his head and gave her a slight smile. She bowed and then came bounding back to him. Mamoru saw the assistant's eyes watch Usako climb back up the steps. He didn't like the way his honey eyes were following her; it reminded him of why he didn't like her coming to the university. Once she was next to Mamoru's side, she turned back to Maeda-sempai and waved goodbye enthusiastically. She was much too bright for her own good.
~'"'"'"~
"Hello Chiharu-san," Usagi bowed low. Mamoru's hand quickly retracted at the blonde's greeting.
"Usagi-chan!" She smiled. Her smile lit up her face. It was genuine, and it hurt Usagi to know that the girl he'd just made love to was nice. She was hoping that the university student would give her a wicked smile; something that would ignite a kind of hatred in her blood. Chiharu looked back at Mamoru. "Don't forget class is in like..." she looked down at her watch, "Twenty." She turned to Usagi. "Hopefully I'll see you again soon. Tah!" Chiharu walked to the elevator.
As soon as the woman past Usagi, Mamoru immediately pulled her into his apartment and shut the door, standing feet apart.
"Listen, I don't care what you do, okay? It's not any of my business. You do what you want and I'll do the same."
She hadn't meant for the words to mean anything other than, 'we have no business in one another's lives.' She wasn't at all aware that the words held implication and innuendo. She found herself forcefully pushed against his door. Her body landed with a thud. His hands pinned her shoulders.
"Oww," she hissed. The shock from the collision reverberated through her back. "What're you doing?!" She attempted to shrug off his hands. His fingers dug into her flesh. "Stop it!" He was behaving erratically. Normally, the reaction to such a situation was fear, instead she felt offended. How dare he!
He bent down and peered at her face. His eyes had darkened to a near black. His aura was changing. The temperature had dropped, and she felt her skin respond with goosebumps. She recalled these same powers during his time under Beryl's spell: Dark Endymion.
"If you let anyone touch you," his voice, despite being soft, was contradictorily threatening. "I Will Kill Him." He emphasized each word as if making a sacred vow. Her pupils dilated in surprise and the quickly contracted in anger.
"Let go!" She grabbed his fingers and plied them off her shoulders. He had already lightened his hold when she had thrown his arms toward the floor. Fury blazed through her and she slapped him with all her human strength intermingled with some of her senshi one. If Mamoru had been completely human, he would have been unconscious. Regrettably, he was not. He stumbled a little. But as he was Tuxedo Mask, he rebounded instantly. He looked at her for a few seconds before turning and walking back to his room. Usagi left, slamming the door behind her.
Once she'd left the lobby she instinctively walked towards the arcade. She had no idea where she was going. She knew she didn't want to go home. Neither did she want to deal with the pink haired devil; plus she'd already told her parents that she was going to be sleeping at Ami's. More so, she didn't want to see the girls; they didn't know what she'd had intended to do. So she walked without any particular destination in mind. Taking out her phone, she scrolled through her contact list, finally settling on one. Well, she was pretty close. It was only a fifteen minute walk. She nodded and continued on.
I*'''*I
II*'''''*II
The refrigerator was making that weird buzzing sound again. He moaned in irritation and walked to the large rectangle and rocked it side to side. He heard the items inside slide left to right, right to left. With his hands still on the corners of the fridge he closed his eyes to listen. Sighing in relief, his hands slid down from the corners. Opening the freezer he took a few ice cubes and dropped them into his glass cup. Then he opened the top cupboard above the microwave and retrieved his stash of whisky. He wasn't much of a drinker, but on certain days, days like this one, he needed it. He poured the amber liquid over the ice. Just as he had put the cork back into the bottle, he heard a series of knocks on his door.
Motoki was surprised to see his little odango haired friend standing there. Her head was down and all he could see were her cute little pigtails and outfit. His shock passed quickly and he smiled down at her.
"Usagi-chan, what brings you here?" he asked happily. She looked up slowly, and the smile he'd greeted her with dissipated. She stared at him with a look he was all too familiar with.
"Come in, come in," he said whilst ushering her through. He brought her to his worn down couch. "Take a seat, I was just making myself something to drink. Do you want anything? Water or juice or something?"
"Water would be nice," she whispered.
He returned from the kitchen with her water in one hand and his drink in the other.
"So...do you want to talk about it?" He watched as she drank the cup of water and then put it down on the table. She looked at the blank television. "Did you want to watch something? I can turn it on."
"Okay."
He reached out to take the remote control. "What'd you feel like watching?" he asked taking a sip of his drink.
"Anything." Motoki let out a short breath, well, that wasn't helpful.
"Anything you don't want to watch?"
"Scary stuff."
Eventually, he settled on a generic story about a dog. It seemed like a safe choice. Usagi had pulled her feet under her bottom and was leaning against the armrest. Her head cradled on her small hands. They sat silently, eyes on the screen. Motoki had refilled his drink once by the end of the movie. He was sitting on his la-Z-boy and hadn't attempted to talk to her since he'd turned on the movie.
"Did you wanna watch something else?" He looked over to the opposite side where she lay.
"Motoki?"
"Hmm?"
"Can I stay over tonight?"
"Wha... Why?"
"I don't have anywhere else to go. I can't talk with ..." she stopped herself. "It's okay if I can't. I'll figure it out." He suddenly pictured his friend outside in the park, curled up on the bench sleeping. He shook his head.
"No, it's fine. Of course you can stay."
His friend was thankful. She gave him a small sad smile. He returned her with a wider one, hoping she'd cheer up.
"Do you wanna shower? Unazuki has a pair of pajamas you can borrow," he told her. As if suddenly remembering, his voice rose in volume. "It's washed! I washed it!" For some reason he felt embarrassed and needed to assert he did wash clothes. It was a weird thought.
She nodded her head and took the clothes in gratitude and went to shower.
The store manager went to his recliner and pulled up the leg rest. He thought back to the look she'd given him when she'd first arrived. He knew that look, he'd seen it in the mirror throughout the past year. Eyes that conveyed tragic heart break. He remembered how he'd shared with the girls he'd come to love as sisters, that Reika had broken up with him. She told him she was staying in Africa, she wouldn't return to Japan. His entire world had fallen apart. He recalled how the girls gathered around him. They attempted to console him, putting their hand on his shoulders. He particularly remembered Usagi's reaction. As the other girls had begun asking questions of why and how, she hadn't asked anything. She simply sat next to him quietly. He remembered how much more comforting it was to simply sit silently with a friend next to him. He hoped he could provide her the same feelings now.
Showering helped her to relax. She felt dirty after seeing Chiharu at Mamo-chan's...she meant Chiba-san's apartment. Walking back into the living room she could see Motoki's straw colored hair from the top of the recliner. She walked over to the couch and sat down quietly.
Motoki was off in his own little world when he heard the sound of someone sitting on the couch. His eyes, which had been focused on the floor, traveled to his friend. The first thing he noticed were her dainty feet; something moved in his gut. He found her bare feet against his plush carpet strangely erotic. He wasn't sure why. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. His eyes quickly traveled up to her face. Usagi's hair was down, bereft of her usual style. He wondered if it was always so gold. There was a soft halo that surrounded her as she sat. Unazuki's pajamas were a little too small on her. The plaid shorts stopped a few inches past her pelvis and the top just touched her hips. His sister was a year younger than the blonde. He cleared his throat.
"Good shower?"
"Yea, it helped."
"You hungry?" He asked, although he already knew the answer. He was met with an enthusiastic yes. In less than twenty minutes the two sat at the couch eating ramen. He was about to turn the television back on when she spoke again.
"How long does it to take...to get over someone you love?" Motoki put the controller down. He didn't want to lie to her. At the same time, he didn't want to give her an answer that might hurt her more. He turned his head to see her listening to him intently.
"Honestly...I don't know. I'm still in the middle of trying. I kind of feel like...I don't know. It's hard to put into words." He felt the sorrow wash over him again. His friend moved her gaze back to her food.
They ended up watching some reality show about a boy band called Three Lights. They laughed at the boys' crazy conversations and antics. The one called Seiya Kou reminded him of Mamoru, his dark hair and blue eyes. They had the same type of confidence and swagger. Albeit the pop idol was energetic and loud. Two things that Mamoru was not. When they were done, he took the bowls to the sink.
Motoki returned from the kitchen when Usagi asked, "Hey onii-san, do you know Chiharu Koto?" Motoki searched his memory.
"I know a Chiharu Kondo, but not a Koto."
"Oh, that's her, Kondo-san."
"Yea, I know her."
"How?"
"We all went to school together," Motoki answered. "She dated Mamoru-kun for a little bit." Usagi kept her eyes on the show. She nodded in acknowledgement and moved a little in her seat.
"Do you find her sexually attractive?" Motoki nearly fell off the chair. What? He was a little baffled. But, still his mind brought forth an image of Chiharu.
"Hmmmm...I guess..." he paused as he thought back to her image; her dark hair, grey eyes and breasts came to mind. "Sure, she's sexually attractive."
"What's it mean?"
"What does what mean?"
"Sexually attractive."
"Well...it means that you find someone attractive, sexually."
"Onii-san you just gave me the definition by repeating the word."
He laughed a little and rubbed his head. He sought for the right description.
"It means that you find them desirable in that… you want to have sex with them."
"Oh," her cheeks flushed.
She didn't expect that. Although, she wasn't sure what she expected it to be. So, essentially Mamoru didn't have any desire to have sex with her. She felt like someone had punched her in the stomach. That made complete sense. In fact, it answered a lot of the questions about their relationship. She realized now why Ami had told her to say that their relationship was more "familial." Initially she believed it was meant that their relationship was already like a family, husband wife...as in the two of them behaving like a married couple. It dawned on her that it meant 'brother and sister or cousins...'
"What about me?"
"You?"
"Am I sexually attractive?" If Motoki and Mamoru both thought the same way about Chiharu, it would stand to reason they have similar tastes...right?
"Usagi-chan," he sighed. "Everyone has a different tastes," he rephrased himself to clarify. "I mean what I like, might not be same as what someone else likes." He saw her cave inwards.
"I figured," she whispered. "I guess they were right." She hadn't meant to say the last part out loud. He immediately felt ashamed. He stood up from his seat and sat next to her.
"Hey, I didn't mean it like that. Of course you are," he rushed. "Yea, definitely." But the damage to her ego was already done. She looked away from him.
"It's okay, you don't have to lie."
"Hey," Motoki took her small hands in his and placed them on her lap. "I was just surprised. I mean, I've known you since you were like...eleven? So it caught me off guard." He apologized. "I've been your onii-san." He added, as to reiterate that he had taken the question as if she really was his little sister.
"But you know, thinking about it, you're not a kid anymore. You're seventeen, you could live on your own if you wanted. So I just needed a second to process," his voice was apologetic, urgent to explain. He didn't like seeing her so sad. She had always been such a bright light in his life, in everyone's life. It had been hard to see her so downtrodden.
"You don't need to-" she began. Motoki took a deep breathe a put his right palm on her cheek to leading her face back to his. Her eyes were darker than its usual cobalt color. Through the years, he noticed that when Usagi was having a particular bad or emotional day, her eyes would darken into sapphires. But when she was giddy and happy they were a bright cobalt. It helped him delineate her real crying from her complaining cries.
"I'd definitely have sex with you." He told her with strong conviction. It was obvious she didn't believe him. Which meant, he'd have to elucidate, to let her know, that of course she was desirable. He wondered why she felt so dejected. Motoki looked into her eyes and spoke honestly.
"You're absolutely stunning, you have those sky blue eyes that makes everyone's heart race," his thumb drifted to the light tendrils near her jaw. "Soft gold hair that I'd love to run my hands through." He brought up his other hand to cup her face. "A perfectly shaped face that I want to hold between my hands," his eyes unconsciously moved to each body part as he spoke. "And perfect lips that I want to kiss." Her eyes widened in disbelief. Really? Did she really make him want to do all that? Did she really make guys feel that…did she make Mamoru feel that?
"Kiss... my lips?" Did she really have kissable lips? She thought he was going to say, 'Yes, you have very kissable lips.' Shockingly, he leaned forward and kissed her.
When she was twelve she wondered what it would feel like to kiss Motoki. Well, now she knew. It felt nice. His lips were soft and warm. The kiss had been unexpected, so he had landed onto her slightly parted lips.
As an experienced man, he took it as an invitation and swept his tongue inside. She was stunned, it was the second time someone had put their tongue in her mouth. She stroked back tentatively. The action caused him to lean into her further. This was the part when Mamoru had told her she needed to go home. But it didn't seem like Motoki was going to do the same.
She opened her mouth wider, and he nearly dove on top of her. His body pushed her back against the armrest while his chest pressed against hers. He continued to explore her mouth, and his hands that had been cupping her face, traveled down her neck to her waist. She found the back of his neck and pressed his mouth deeper. Nimble fingers with knowledge of pleasure, slipped under her shirt and up to her clothed breast. She arched in response with the desire to be touched more. The sandy blonde was more than happy to accommodate, his hands pushed aside the lacy covering to expose and grasp her naked skin. Gasping at his touch, her hands flew into his hair, slanting her mouth over his.
With every stroke of his fingers and press of his groin, she felt heat pool in to her center causing her to seep liquid between her legs. A feeling she always got when she was around Mamo-chan.
Hopefully you found it interesting! I've always been a fan of UsagixMotoki, so if you don't like, oh well.
To be honest, it's pretty normal for this to happen. When there is a break up, people tend to return to an ex (because they're an easy and familiar lay) or they go to someone they trust, usually a close friend. Unfortunately, these choices usually end up back firing in some way.
A close friend of mine slept with one of her closest friends after her boyfriend broke up with her. Her friend ended up falling for her, so when she went back to the guy who had initially dumped her, her friend cut off all ties. It was sad. I tend to follow the 'return to the ex.' Each break up, I'd go back to an ex to make myself feel better. But it never ended well. Especially when the guy I used to be with found out. It was very ugly. Don't make the same mistake guys!