What I Wish I Could've Said

By: Lesera128

Rated: T

Disclaimer: I own nothing... Obviously. Just playing in someone else's sandbox for a bit.

Summary: Hindsight is always 20/20. Everyone has a single moment that they wish they could have said something better than what they actually did. A completely random series of what-if vignettes.

Ch 32: That Time Brennan Was Happy She Didn't Have a Boyfriend

As Booth continued to navigate the standard government-issue black Chevy Tahoe SUV through the streets of Washington DC as they discussed their interview with Sahar in the investigation of Hamid Masruk, Brennan couldn't help but delight in her baiting of her partner.

He seems unusually tense and agitated today, Brennan thought as she noted how his jar was squared and he kept tightening his grip on the steering wheel. For a man who seemingly engaged in coitus less than twenty-four hours ago, he doesn't appear to be relaxed at all. Hmmm…I wonder if perhaps Tessa isn't quite the sexual dynamo she wanted me to think she appeared to be when she came prancing out of Booth's bedroom in his rumpled Oxford dress shirt last night like it was some all-call review for frigid non-busty blondes of the business world?

Somewhat pleased with herself that she was adroit enough to keep her mental monologue intact at the same time she maintained her conversation with Booth, Brennan continued to take the part of the devil's advocate as they continued discussing why Sahar may or may not have had a motive to poison her husband. The more she defended Sahar, and the more Booth became insistent that his wife was the one who had killed Masruk, the more Brennan found herself becoming annoyed.

He can't be that much of a misogynist, Brennan thought. Surely not.

Deciding to continue to test her theory, she brought up the subject that had held her mild interest since she'd discovered Booth's 'girl-friend' less than twelve hours earlier. However, again, the more she seemed to bring up Tessa Jankow, the more Booth's response seemed to become overtly emotional, erratic, and almost aggressive in its nature.

As she contemplated this phenomenon, at last, Brennan realized what was going on, and she nodded at him with a knowing smile.

"Keep changing the subject," she told him. Booth shot her a look as she smugly added, "I get it. You're sensitive about you and Tessa."

Shaking his head in disbelief, Booth countered, "Why aren't we talking about you and your boyfriend?"

Again, Brennan's slightly vainglorious and condescending manner continued as she said simply, "I don't have a boyfriend."

As soon as the words were out of her mouth, Booth's head snapped over as he looked at her, taking his eyes off the road. Although it was there just for a split second, the look of interest was clearly present in his gaze before it disappeared as quickly as it had manifested itself. Almost instantly, the small crack in his façade was replaced with the normal arrogantly cocky demeanor that he normally had when he spoke to Brennan.

Shaking his head, he finally responded, "You just said that as though it's a good thing...and you know what? It's a very, very sad comment on your personal life."

Brennan couldn't help but laugh as she retorted, "Oh, really?" This time it was her turn to let a crack of emotion through her comportment. "And, why is that? Just because you say it to be so, Booth?"

"Anyone who's alone is a sad thing," he repeated. "Human beings, but their very nature, Miss All-Holier-Than-Thou-Sci-Fi-Flunky-Fun, are social creatures, right?"

At this, Brennan scoffed, "What? Don't tell me that you're really trying to use science to prove your point to me. What…did you leave the TV on while you fell asleep to some umpteen competitive sporting event, and you woke up watching the Discovery Channel again?"

"You know what?" Booth snapped as his eyes flashed at her for another couple of seconds before he returned them to the road. "Contrary to what you may or may not think, Bones, I'm not some big dumb idiot who's lucky enough to be able to stand up right, walk, and talk at the same time, okay? I do have some brains."

"Granted," Brennan said drolly. "Otherwise, I doubt I'd be able to associate with you as I do on such a regular basis." She stopped and then continued. "And, while we're on the subject of making obvious points, just so that you know, I'm not someone who needs to immerse myself in some cheap and tawdry relationship with a partner that I'm clearly with only to satisfy my biological needs because I need the veneer of respectability to make me feel better about being with someone only because I'm using them for sex," Brennan finished what had quickly become a mini tirade without her realizing it. "I don't need a boyfriend to get laid, so there."

If she'd looked a little closer at the way Booth flushed at her words and the way his nostrils had started to flare―instead of merely crossing her arms and sitting back quite comfortably in the passenger's side seat as she did once she'd said her piece―Brennan might've had a split second of warning as to what her partner was about to do next. Instead, she was somewhat taken aback when Booth abruptly quickly changed lanes so that he could pull the SUV off of the main road they were traveling on and guide it towards a side street. Quickly pulling the car into a makeshift parking spot, he abruptly put the car into park and yanked on the parking break. Unbuckling his seat belt, he rapidly shifted in his seat as he turned to face his partner.

"What is with you?" he said, the level of growing fury clear in his voice. "I mean, seriously―what gives?"

"I'm completely and totally fine," Brennan retorted as she looked at Booth's growing ire with obvious interest. "I believe that you're the one who's demonstrating rather unpredictable and unstable behavior at the moment."

"Don't do that," Booth spat at her in clear aggrivation. "Don't you dare condescend to me, Bones. You don't know anything about me or my relationship with Tessa―"

"Anymore than you know anything about my life or lack of a relationship with a member of the opposite sex," Brennan interrupted him.

"God!" Booth snapped as he turned around and hit the driver's side steering wheel with the palm of his open fist. "You're the most infuriating, arrogant, smug, self-righteous woman I've ever met…and that's saying something because I know a lot of women!"

Slowly turning in her seat, Brennan shot Booth a smile that she knew would make him even angrier than he already was. "Thank you."

As soon as she'd spoken, Booth's head again whipped around to see her looking rather calm and collected at something that he'd intended as a scathing insult. And, considering the fact that Brennan hadn't seemed to take it as such only made him all the more upset...just as she'd hoped.

Looking away, Booth bit his bottom lip as he shook his head slightly. "I never should've answered the door last night," he muttered under his breath.

"Why?" Brennan asked, perking up a bit at his words. "I assumed from your partial state of dress that you'd finished having sexual intercourse with Tessa―although, I have to tell you, Booth, just in my personal opinion, if you're still this metaphorically tightly wound after having had sex, maybe your partner isn't doing something right." She stopped as she let her words trail off before she added slyly, "You probably should do something about that, you know. After all―what's the point in going through the motions if you don't even have a decent orgasm for all your efforts?"

With each word she'd spoken, Booth's eyes widened a bit more. At last, as her question trailed off into the ether, it took Booth a few seconds before he blinked and realized that his partner had indeed just said what he thought she'd said.

Finally, at a loss of what else to do, Booth closed his eyes, counted to ten, and prayed to the Holy Mother that he'd be given the strength to resist whatever temptation Brennan would never lay before him.

Because I'm gonna either kiss her and then screw her in the SUV right here and now or kill her and have to dump the body, Booth thought glumly. For the love of God and all His holy saints, please, somebody, cut me some slack here. Help me―

"I'm still here, you know," Brennan's insanely teasing voice came after a few deceptively calm seconds. "I'm not going to disappear simply because you close your eyes and make a wish, Booth."

Realizing that perhaps that he wasn't going to get an answer to his prayer today, Booth took one last deep breath, opened his eyes, and then said, "Okay, new ground rules, Bones. No more talking about Tessa, your lack of a boyfriend, sex, orgasms, relationships, or anything that isn't related to the case."

"If you recall," Brennan drawled. "This all began because we were talking about the case, and you were being unfair to Sahar in trying to assign her a motive in poisoning her husband."

"Fine," Booth growled. "Then, silence. From now on, until we get back to the Hoover, not another word. Understand?"

"I'm sorry," Brennan said. "Did I miss the part where you got some indication that you can boss me around and simply because you give me an order, you think I'll follow it?" She blinked at him with her large baby blue eyes―seemingly innocent in their wide-eyed wonder, although Booth knew much, much better on that account―before she added, "Tessa may be the type of woman that lets you boss her around, Booth―both in bed and out, for all I know―but, just for the official record, I'm not."

Tightening his hands on the steering wheel, Booth took another deep breath as he again prayed for patience and strength to resist temptation. Refusing to prolong what he knew might spiral into a very uncontrollable situation, Booth sat back in his seat, rebuckled his seat belt, released the parking break, and put the car into drive. Shaking his head, he could feel the satisfaction radiating off of Brennan as she took his silence as a type of victory.

As he guided the car back into traffic, Booth shook his head as he looked at the road. One of these days, Bones…one of these days, we're gonna finish this discussion. Because, don't think for one minute I'm gonna let your little digs about my girlfriend, choice in relationships, or sex life go unanswered. I'm not. We've got a job to do right now, but as soon as the opportunity presents itself, we're gonna finish this little conversation, and then…maybe…maybe you'll see just how wrong you are because I'll follow up my display of verbal skills with some show of physical prowess, huh? And, then…well, we'll see if I can really boss you around or not―especially if I can get rid of Tessa between now and then. Yeah. That's it. Good plan, Booth. Good plan.

-TBC-