There was a tree indoors.
Trees did not belong indoors, Touichirou knew that much. These were things like bushes, grass, and birds. Things that lived outdoors. So what was it doing indoors? This wasn't right. He had woken up one morning and Mother had brought him downstairs, much too soon, to show this tree to him. This tree that shouldn't have been in the house at all.
He didn't like it.
He held out his hand. He could see the outside through the window. If he could get this tree outside then things would have been back to normal. Also it would have been easier to see the boxes underneath it. He liked boxes. He could put things in them and also take things out. Then Mother would clap and tell him what a good boy he was. He knew that he was a good boy. Also he was Touichirou, but Touichirou was also a good boy. And he liked it when Mother was happy with him.
It made him happy.
"Yes Touichirou, see? Christmas tree." said Mother. Touichirou looked at her. Yes, he knew that it was a tree. It had been in his house for much too long. He didn't want it in here anymore, especially since it was covering all of those boxes. He wanted the boxes…he needed the boxes!
He cried.
"I think he wants a present. Just give him one." Said Father. Mother picked Touichirou up and rocked him. Not what he wanted but it was still nice. Mother was warm and smelled like herself. He reached out and took some of her hair in his hand. He pulled as hard as he could but she just pulled it back.
He liked this game.
Mother was walking with him now. As she walked he pulled her hair. This was a game that they played often. He liked it when he won and he got to keep her hair. Sometimes she won and she kept her hair. Those games weren't as fun. She didn't call him good boy, then, she called him bad boy and put him down. He didn't like being called that and he didn't want to be put down. He only wanted to be put down when he wanted to be put down, not when she wanted to put him down.
He would tell her when he wanted to be put down.
"No, don't bring him here. Just give him the toys already." Said Father. Mother sat down beside him. Father was hiding behind the paper again. He liked to just hold the white thing in front of his face and sit for what felt like a very long time. It was for crinkling, not looking at. Only shiny things were for looking at, or the television, but the television was fun to touch too. The way the prickling feeling touched his skin and then went through his entire body. It was nice.
He tried to get out of Mother's arms, the television was right there, but she wouldn't let him!
"See? He's trying to get back to the tree." said Father. Mother made a grumbling sound and then held Touichirou closer.
"He's nine months old, he doesn't know what he wants." Said Mother. Touichirou did know what he wanted and what he wanted was to be put down. He pushed on her chest to get away from him but she just bounced him and told him that she knew he was hungry…but he wasn't hungry!
He shouted. Mother still didn't understand!
"Abi, at least put him down. If he wants a toy then he can go and open one." Said Father
"It's not Christmas for another two days. We can't open them early." Said Mother
"I don't understand this holiday at all." Said Father. Touichirou didn't understand either. The television was there, he was here, and he wanted to be there. Father could tell that he didn't want to be here. Why didn't Mother?
"What's to understand? We open presents on the twenty fifth." Said Mother
"Why we can't just open them now? It just seems like torture at this point." Said Father
"The anticipation makes the day even better." said Mother
"I still don't understand. I hardly had any toys as a child and if Father had taken the time to wrap toys and then tell me that I couldn't have them then-" said Father
"What? You would have taken a swing at him?" asked Mother. It took Touichirou a moment to understand what she had said. Sometimes Mother used words that nobody else did. Not Father, not the people who lived on the outside, or the people who lived in the television. Father didn't seem to understand her. He had put the paper down and now he was making a face at her.
Hey! The paper!
"Pardon?" asked Father as Touichirou leaned down to pick up the paper. It was too far away…he reached harder. He reached with his colors. He saw red, and then yellow, and then he had the paper in his hands. He crinkled it. He looked at Father while he did it, so then Father could learn what this was for.
"You would have…what's the word…hit! You would have hit him." said Mother as she tried to take the paper from his hands. He held it tighter and pulled it closer to his chest. She had her hair, he had this paper. Everyone had a thing. She didn't need his thing too.
"Hit my father? Abi, I don't know how things are done in your part of the world but here such a thing is unthinkable." Said Father as he tried to take the paper back. Touichirou wasn't going to let it go. This was his now!
"God knows he deserves it." Said Mother
"Your God, not mine. That is not done here. Is it, is it Touichirou?" asked Father as he took the paper from his hands. Touichirou tried to hold on but it made a loud noise…and now he had a piece and Father had a piece!
But he wanted all the pieces!
"It does go the other way, though." Said Father as he held his part of the paper. Mother gasped and pulled Touichirou way too close.
"I don't know how things are done here but you can't smack a baby! He doesn't know what he's doing most of the time." Said Mother
"I was joking, Abi, I know that he didn't mean it. He can't read. He just wanted it because I had it…so let him open a toy already. He's clearly starved for playthings." Said Father
"If he's so starved for playthings then what's filling his room right now?" asked Mother
"He needs more. If I'd been his age, or at any stage of childhood, I would have wanted…it doesn't matter what I would have wanted. That time is over now and I'm a man. I make my own money and I can afford whatever I want." Said Father
"Whatever WE want." Said Mother
"Yes. You are my wife." Said Father. Mother made another face. Touichirou looked down at his hand and made the same face. His hands were black. He put his hand to his mouth and touched it with his tongue…bad!
He threw the paper. It was a bad thing.
"What? You are. You are my wife and he is my son and everything you both have is due to my ability to provide for you." said Father
"I wasn't arguing." Said Mother
"Good. Now listen to me and just let him open the damn toys already. I paid for them so, therefore, I should be the one to decide when he opens them. I see no reason why I should deny my son something new to play with. It's not a good feeling, seeing all the other children have toys….not a good one at all." Said Father. Touichirou reached over and tried to grab Father's eyebrows. His eyes were sad looking now, or maybe just tired. His eyebrows were down low, the perfect grabbing distance. He reached out to them…
And Mother pulled him away.
"Come here, Touichirou, it looks like we're throwing tradition out the window." Said Mother as she carried him over to the inside tree. She sat him down in front of it and then left it. In front of him were the boxes. He wasn't supposed to be this close to either the tree or the boxes, Mother always moved him away when he got this close. This was a good opportunity.
He crawled over to the boxes.
He came to the biggest box and put his hands on top of it. He tried to pull himself up…and fell. Hard. Some of the outside came off and was stuck to his hands…more paper! He turned around and showed Father…but Father wasn't there anymore. Neither was Mother. It was just him, the television, the tree, and the boxes…
All for him!
He pulled the rest of the paper off of the box. There was just a box inside, and with no opening. He didn't see the point. It wasn't a good thing at all. He wondered if the other boxes had paper on the outside…and they did! One and then another and then another. Soon he was surrounded by paper!
All for him!
All was right with the world, now. The room was his, the house was his, everything was his! Everything was his and right where it should have been…everything but the tree. Trees did not belong inside the house. Trees like this, too, with the toys and colors and lights…he wanted them…but they were up too high! He tried to stand again, putting his hands on top of the box and pushing off with his legs, but it didn't work! He tried again and again and again but…but still, it wasn't working!
He had to try something else.
The tree was far away and he couldn't get to it…so he had to bring it down to him. He reached out with his hands. It was too high for his hands to reach but not too high for his colors. He reached out with his colors and pulled as hard as he could. It would be down, soon, and then he could have the toys on it. Then Mother and Father could put it back outside where it belonged. Then everything could be right with the world.
He pulled as hard as he could.
There was a loud sound and then it was on the ground next to him. It had been about to fall onto him but he used his colors to push it away. There had been a scary sound when it hit the ground but now it was his! Now he just had to crawl over and play with all the shiny pieces on the ground and the lights and…wait…someone was coming!
"No! Bad boy!" said Mother as she picked him up. Everything was getting further and further away. She took him away from the tree, away from the room, up the stairs, and then into his room. She put him in his crib and looked at him. Her eyes were wet and shiny. He didn't like that. He held onto the bars of his crib and tried to get up again…and he couldn't! It wasn't fair! Everyone else could do this, why couldn't he!?
It wasn't fair!
"Really, baby, you had to ruin that too? You and your Father are two of a kind…but fine, whatever! You want to ruin things then you can ruin them as much as you want from your room. Goodbye. Merry Christmas." Said Mother before she got up and left. She closed his door too hard. The noise hurt his ears. He cried. She needed to come when he cried, that was what she did, how she worked…but she didn't come. No one came…and after a lot of crying he realized that no one was going to come.
So he stopped.
He reached out with his colors and turned the television on. The only people who came were the ones who lived in the television. He liked them. They were just as stuck in there and he was in his crib. That was fair. They didn't have anyone who came for them either. That made sense. He was here and they were there…and that was alright. It made sense. People had to be in their own places and this was his, that was theirs, and the tree…was…there….yes!
Everything made sense now, even the indoor tree.