If this had been one of the stories Ayaka had heard all her life, maybe the end would have been different.
If it had been a fairy tale like the ones she grew up with (a warrior born from a peach, sent by the gods, set off on his journey to the land of demons with the help of a pheasant, a dog and a monkey) then the hero would have managed to defeat all demons and save the humans, who had lived terrified by such monsters for years.
But this, since it was the harsh and crude reality, didn't happen.
By the time she woke up, the news of Rengoku's death had already reached until the last one of the members of the demon slaying corps. It seemed that she was the last one to know.
"So he died," Ayaka muttered over the soup served that day to the patients on the Butterfly Estate. As strange as it looked like, her eyes didn't water nor did her heart quiver on her chest. Ayaka felt over Rengoku's death nothing more than the righteous sorrow over the death of a great warrior.
"That's right," Aoi, who was the one that usually brought her food, assured her. If Ayaka had been told that barely a year before she would have denied it, claiming that pillars couldn't die so easily, but now she didn't need much more truth to believe it.
She spent more time than she should have in bed, in between fever dreams and sweaty hallucinations. She saw her father a lot, walking from one side of the room to the other with a calm smile. He was satisfied, Ayaka not so much.
"Maybe it wasn't a good idea to go out while sick." She remembered thinking at some point. "I was too impatient."
When the fever slid out of her like cold water and the worst thing left were coughs (she thought about Tanjirou, too) Ayaka changed her opinion. Her judgement, although rushed, had been right. She'd do so time and time again, without a doubt, even if that killed her.
"I should leave that option aside." She thought some time else, looking out the window to see Inosuke running around in the garden. When he wasn't trying to steal food from the kitchens he spent the time in the forest, and when he came, he brought some acorns for Ayaka. She did nothing but offer him a confused smile in between sweat and shivers and tucked them in a drawer, that started to spill with little shiny balls. Maybe she'd end up asking Shinobu for another drawer, or even a box.
Over everything else, Ayaka slept a lot and talked too little. Sometimes she woke up and believed to be in Shishou's house again, and she ended up kicking the sheets to the floor, soaked in sweat and with her heart beating fast and strong, as if it were a nightmare. The mere possibility that having done what was right, having gone with Tanjirou and the others, was nothing but an illusion was enough to make her shiver. And the only good thing she took out of it was that at least her current path wasn't misguided.
She wasn't able to stay awake enough to get out of the room, so days went by like autumn leaves carried by the wind that didn't come back, disappearing as fast as they came.
Her mind heard mutters:
"Knock knock, little bunny from the little mountain,
Why are your ears so long?
When she was small my mother ate the leaves of a tall tree.
And that's why my ears are so long."
She didn't know if it was her own wishes, affecting her delusions, but she imagined Tanjirou a lot.
He walked around the room, going in and out the door, opening the windows, and even leaving a glass vase with colourful flowers on the bedside table, where she kept Inosuke's acorns. Every time she saw him, Ayaka wasn't able to call out to him, so she was content with silently staring at Tanjirou's illusion from afar.
"Knock knock, little bunny from the little mountain,
Why are your eyes so red?
When she was small, my mother ate the fruit of a red tree.
And that's why my eyes are so red."
She imagined him holding two little children in between his arms, twins with fire eyes like his, as he sang for them to fall asleep. Yeah. Tanjirou would, without a doubt, be a good father.
The Summer Sun started to warm the earth when Kanao came to see her.
She sat by her bedside and stared with eyes wide open, all the while playing with the ends of her skirt. When Ayaka looked, with the sight slightly cloudy because of illness, she was glad to find there weren't any new injuries on her legs.
"Hello." And she stayed there, sitting and unblinking.
Ayaka smiled either way, blushing because of the fever. Kanao still said nothing.
"I'm glad to see you're doing well," she said, hoping that would encourage her to talk, but it wasn't the case. "Did you come here for anything in particular?"
Kanao for once looked nervous, looking around the room as her forehead got soaked in sweat. Outside, Outdoors? I'm not sure Ayaka believed to hear Inosuke jump the fence, back from one of his trips to the forest.
"Tanjirou is kind," Kanao said. "I can see why you like him."
Ayaka nodded, smiling.
"Tanjirou is very kind." That was a part of him she had always liked. "Do you want to talk to me about Tanjirou?"
"No." Kanao nearly jumped from the chair, but she sat back again and looked down, cheeks overflowing with colour. "The day he left… he talked to me."
"Tanjirou talks to everyone."
"But it was important." This time Kanao took the coin out of her pocket and started playing with it in between her fingers. "He reminded me of you."
Ayaka stayed silent. It was the first time someone compared her to Tanjirou.
To her eyes, that was the best compliment she could have ever gotten.
"He told me to follow the voice of my heart." Kanao reddened even more intensely.
"Oh." For a moment she was surprised, but Ayaka quickly recomposed. "And how has following the voice of your heart been going?"
"Yesterday I scolded Sumi, Kiyo and Naho over staying too late on the library, I didn't want them to sleep too little." Kanao's eyes went to Ayaka and down to the coin in a second. "And now I'm talking with you."
"Is that what your heart is telling you?" Ayaka softly chuckled. "To talk to me?"
Kanao continued without hesitation.
"Ayaka-san," she started, finally leaving the sight of the coin and looking at her face. "I think you're very determined."
Ayaka scratched her cheek nearly in embarrassment. "Well, thank you."
"And because of it," Kanao continued," I need to ask you how you do it."
At this, Ayaka only raised her eyebrows in confusion.
"Do what?"
"Be so determined."
Ayaka staggered. "Um, do you want to learn how to make decisions? I'm just stubborn, that's all."
"No." Her fellow tsuguko shook her head. "You created a plan on the spot, in that mission, when you took the decision to protect the villagers. You didn't hesitate for a second in your goal, and you even allowed the demon to eat you, that was-"
Ayaka smiled and her expression seemed to brighten. "Ah, that! It's simple!" She stretched out a hand and when Kanao furrowed her eyebrows, she only insisted. "Come on, give me your coin."
Kanao placed it on her open palm.
"I think that leaving this thing aside would be a nice start," Ayaka said, inspecting the golden coin she held in between two fingers. "I'll keep it for a while, is that okay?"
Kanao stiffened on the chair and swallowed:
"Um…"
Ayaka insisted. "Is that okay or not?"
And with a blink, Kanao realized Ayaka shone like gold under the sunlight. What was it that reflected on her expression, heads or tails?
Ah, heads.
"Yes," she finally said. Ayaka looked at her for a while, as if able to see that she was lying.
"Good," she finally said, tucking the coin on her pocket.
Another moment in silence passed. Ayaka smiled once more and softly whispered. "I missed you."
Kanao's skin itched under her uniform, if she remembered right from her childhood memories, this was how it felt to want to say something.
"I-" Kanao started once again, looking down at the floor, "I had a lot of fun when we trained."
Ayaka, who now laid limp on the mattress with closed eyes, opened a single one to look at her.
"Is that so?"
"Yes, I mean…" Kanao's expression wasn't of cruelty or malice, but of pure indifference. "It was very fun to beat you up."
Ayaka's chuckles were so loud that even Inosuke, somewhere on the garden at the other side of the estate, heard them.
"That's really what you find fun!? I wouldn't have expected that from someone like you! In the end it seems you're gonna be even worse than me!"
And she laughed until there was no more air on her lungs.
"Ara ara" A sudden voice made Ayaka skip a bit and fall from the bed with a crash.
"Ayaka-san." Shinobu's head appeared on one side of the bed to look at Ayaka, who was wrapped up in a mess of sheets on the floor. "I see you've healed enough to laugh."
She blinked. There were no more headaches and she had been awake for a while now, more than any time ever since she got sick.
"Lady Shinobu," Ayaka said, and then, more horrified. "Lady Shinobu!"
She scaredly went back to her feet and walked back, ending up behind Kanao.
The Insect Pillar looked at her with a tense smile.
"It's been a while since we last saw each other." She looked over at Kanao. "A small rivalry between women always sparks something inside people's hearts, am I wrong?"
Clutching to Kanao's back, Ayaka trembled, throwing discreet glances to Shinobu. Instead, the tsuguko only nodded.
Ayaka continued looking at Shinobu warily, as if fearing that any moment the pillar would stab her with her sword.
"I was coming to tell you that you're discharged." At her words, Ayaka peeked a little bit more. She saw no lies on her face.
Ayaka spoke slowly. "I'm already healed?"
"Enough to get out of bed, at least."
The expression on Ayaka's face brightened and she went out of the room so fast she crashed against Aoi, who was just coming in through the door.
Ayaka yelled behind her back "sorry, Aoi! and thanks for your care, lady Shinobu!" and kept running.
The Insect Pillar observed as she disappeared through the corridors.
"It seems Ayaka-san isn't a brat anymore," she muttered to herself.
Aoi, with eyes wide open and fixed where Ayaka had gone out through, silently agreed.
In the bedside table, the flowers on the glass vase swayed with the wind.
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