If Yuu had been someone like Ayaka or like Tanjirou, he would have thought a lot about it.
He could clearly picture it, how he would have beaten himself up over Rengoku-san's death; He would have cried, would have cursed Akaza's name, sinking in sorrow or coming out of it tougher and meaner than how he once was, but Yuu was simple, as simple as death itself. And that, he thought, was what made him a good doctor.
The only truth was that death is unavoidable and irreversible, no matter whoever it took, he could not change it, nor could he do anything to stop it if it had its teeths buried on its victims skin. Once death took a hold of someone, there was nothing else he could do, and that was the truth. So he won't think about Rengoku's death or what he could have done to save him, because focusing on the corpses won't help the other, still agonizing, victims (He thought about Senjuro, who must have been hidden in some corner of his house, mourning the only person he ever had).
Yuu watched as the needle bore into flesh and stayed very still as his mother sewed, slowly, until the skin had nothing left but a clean trace of stitches.
He didn't move, nor did he tremble or shudder. The needle came in and out the flesh and he only watched.
Laying on the floor, the man huffed through his nose. By his side there was an empty bottle. He had refused the anesthesia.
"Yuu," his mother called, "I want you to look closely." He did. "Do you know who this man is?"
Yuu shook his head, expecting to remember his face, but he didn't.
"He's the priest of the village across the mountain, he's a merciful man, who's helped a lot of people." Suddenly his mother's tone changed and he instinctively paid more attention. "But what would happen if he were to be a thief? If, the moment he got better, attacked someone or killed a family? Would you have healed him?"
The man, still drunk, looked up at the ceiling with blurry eyes.
"Bad people don't deserve to be healed," his answer comes in a whisper, "I wouldn't." His gaze left the man to fix on his mother. "Is he a thief?"
"No, I just wanted to know your opinion," she said, cleaning the bloody needle in a rag, "Do you think bad people shouldn't be healed?"
"No, should they?"
"No one knows." The head of the priest moved from side to side, looking for something in blind drunkness. "But whatever your opinion is, you must stick to it no matter what. Many doctors refused to heal christians a long time ago, and they did nothing either when they were sentenced to death or imprisoned for being barbarians. I won't talk ill of them, but they stuck to their ideals. For us doctors to think too much helps no one."
"Are we barbarians?" He had never seen her mother pray before any shrines or kiss any Buddha statues. It wasn't like he had, either.
"No, we just don't believe in the gods as much as other people." His mother shrugged but he knew she was lying. "Doctors can't lean on miracles, you know?"
"I don't need any miracles."
Nozomi looked at him for a long time. "I guess not." And then she dried her hands on her kimono. "If you choose to heal bad people or if you don't, you'll have to live with the consequences. I want you to know that."
"I won't heal bad people," Yuu sentenced.
"So you won't change your mind?"
"No," he stopped for a moment. "I'm simple," he felt like he had to say it. "Ayaka calls me that a lot."
For some reason, his mother smiled. "That's good."
He wanted to ask why, but decided not to.
"Being simple, mum," Yuu thought, now taller and with much broader shoulders, "is good so you don't panic when encountering a demon."
"You're not Tanjirou." He was sure those were fangs under his lips.
"You're not Mary Pickford either." The stranger boy frowned like a rabid dog and let go of the collar of his shirt. Yuu raised an eyebrow and pushed back the urge to laugh. "What? I thought we were pointing out obvious things."
The first thing he did, like an instinct, was wondering if he had seen him before. He travelled through the endless records that composed his memory, toddler, child and finally teenager, all in a second. And finding nothing, he reached the conclusion that he didn't know this demon.
"Yuu!" Ayaka appeared coming in through the wall he had just broken through with a mottled cat on her arms, followed by Tanjirou. "Ah, you're okay! What a relief." She looked behind her, as if just realizing she'd come through a wall. "I didn't know I could do that."
"You can't," the demon growled to then fix his attention on Tanjirou, gesturing over to Yuu and then to Ayaka. "Who the hell are these guys?"
"I should be the one asking that," Yuu muttered, intentionally loud enough for the demon to hear him, who, in response, sent a mean look his way.
Tanjirou walked up to them and it was Ayaka this time the one to follow his lead. The cat of yellow eyes that looked at Yuu with too much intelligence purred in between her arms.
"I thought I'd send the blood of the Demon Moons through Chachamaru," Tanjirou started. Behind him, Ayaka focused on scratching the cat behind the ear.
"It wasn't my idea," the demon said. "I opposed it, but lady Tamayo insisted," suddenly Yuu, instinctively, paid more attention. "She wants to personally see Nezuko now that she's developed a Blood Demon Art."
"Ta... mayo?" Yuu tested that name in his tongue slowly.
"Lady Tamayo for you," the demon growled.
"Oh, that demon who helped you in Asakusa!" Ayaka turned to Tanjirou and he nodded. "I thought she was a kind person."
Yuu heard behind him Yushiro's voice saying that "Tamayo isn't kind, she's the kindest" when a feminine voice called from the door.
"Yushiro." The woman with amethyst eyes rose tall, holding her chin up high. "Don't bother them."
Yuu stood very still, just looking at her with what he could guess was a very stupid expression when the woman walked down the stairs and reunited with them in the porch.
"Are they trustworthy?" She looked at Ayaka more than she did him, and at her sword and uniform, when asking Tanjirou. He confirmed so. "Good, then let's go in. I won't take long."
Yuu followed her with his gaze and, in a second, he was sure he knew this woman.
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He reached the conclusion that this "Tamayo" was a doctor.
He had encountered people claiming to know medicine before, priests and scoundrels that yell in the streets the ability to make miracles by giving some herbs they get out of their pockets or praying at the sky three times a day to gain the favour of the gods.
But just by watching Tamayo, he knew she was the real deal.
She took Nezuko's temperature, measured her fangs and claws and took blood with a very thin needle while Yushiro served them some buns ("We have them for human guests," Tamayo had said, smelling the wonder that must have been brewing inside Yuu's heart. He held one in between two hands and took a bite out of it, all the while looking her in the eyes. After a while, she was the one to look away so she could examine Nezuko's blood under a microscope. But Yuu knew he had won.)
"It doesn't hurt still, does it?" Ayaka kept Nezuko on her knees, where she moved her arm up and down, complaining a little bit.
"You're very strong, Nezuko. That must have hurt." Tanjirou patted her head and, although still with a furrowed brow, Nezuko stopped fidgeting and only rubbed where the cotton on her forearm was, where Tamayo had used the needle.
"Kids are seriously your thing." Ayaka smiled and allowed for Nezuko to play with her fingers to distract herself. "You're really great, Tanjirou."
Tanjirou just rubbed at the back of his head and laughed.
Yuu tapped his fingers against the table and watched Tamayo. Yushiro kept sending ugly looks his way because of it, but it wasn't like he cared. The buns tasted like ash.
"So, what do you use Nezuko's blood for?"
His voice was like the ice that cut skin in the middle of a storm. Tamayo tensed her shoulders and stayed very still. When she answered, she did not turn back.
"Nezuko's blood is special," she only said. "Her input can be a great help."
"Is yours no use?" Yuu bitterly insisted. "Or is it that you don't wanna use it for some reason?"
He heard Ayaka whisper his name in urgency, but Yuu only scrunched up his nose.
"You won't tell me what you use it for?" And suddenly he was standing, and he was much taller than Tamayo, who continued avoiding his eyes. "Is there something you want to hide?"
"Hey, you brat." Yushiro's voice was strained, as if he was biting his own tongue, when he roughly grabbed his shoulder. "Address lady Tamayo correctly."
Yuu only frowned further.
"Let's all calm down!" Ayaka raised both hands in the air and tried to smile when pushing Yuu away from Yushiro. "I'm sure we can all get along, there's no need to fight! Right, Tanjirou!?"
She looked at Tanjirou in a panic, which made him step up and put himself in between Yuu and Yushiro.
"I'm sure Yuu didn't want to talk to Tamayo like that." His usual kindness made for Yushiro to instantly hide his fangs. "Nezuko doesn't need to eat human flesh, that's why Tamayo says her blood's special. There's no other demon like her." He said that to Yuu, who he hadn't been able to calm down, with the intention of satisfying him. But that wasn't what Yuu wanted.
"There was another demon in the house," Yuu said, biting his tongue to talk instead of bark. "When they killed my parents there was another demon in my house."
Of course, he wouldn't be able to forget the sight of the fangs and the claws that belonged to the tall figure looming tall in the darkness, watching from the side as his parents got eaten.
Ayaka gasped in surprise, looking worried, and whispered, "I didn't see anyone else, just... that kid."
"You didn't see them," Yuu said, sounding nearly resented. "But there was another demon, I remember. I remember having seen Tamayo in my house too, when I was a kid. And someone must have turned Takeshi into a demon. It's too much of a coincidence."
"Lady Tamayo would never hurt a human being!" Yushiro exclaimed, so close to jumping at his throat that Tanjirou had to hold him back with a hurried warning to calm down.
"It is true that Tamayo could have turned that kid into a demon," Tanjirou muttered to himself, and even he started to sound unsure. Ayaka was still holding onto Yuu, nervous. "You wouldn't do that, would you, Tamayo? I suggest you clear all of this up as fast as possible, or Yuu won't stop being agitated."
"I'm sorry," Tamayo whispered, and Yuu didn't know what her gaze meant when she looked up at him. "You have your mother's conviction, has no one ever told you before?"
This took him by such surprise that he stopped breathing for a moment. He would have expected for her to deny it a little bit, for her to use excuses or even outright lie. But such a direct confirmation, like a brick to the face, left him without breath.
"Follow me," Tamayo urged. She opened the door to another room and gestured with her head. "I'm assuming you'd prefer this conversation to be private."
Yushiro tried for disgust not to show on his face but it did. Ayaka threw a glance his way that said "you sure?" to which Yuu nodded. Tanjirou took Nezuko in between his arms and looked one last time at him and Tamayo.
Tamayo could kill him, Yuu thought, but it wasn't like he had much to lose, either.
"Wait, lady Tamayo!" Ayaka stepped up, Chachamaru rubbing his head against her leg. For some reason her cheeks were very red. "I'd like to... speak with you later."
Tamayo looked at her for a long time before agreeing. "I'll talk to you later, Ayaka Iwamoto."
Ayaka tried to ask how she knew her name, but Tamayo closed the door on her face before she could.
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The room that door led to was a small wooden cubicle whose right wall was covered by shelfs full of books he easily recognized. At his left were hanging heavy velvet curtains that covered the windows (so the sunlight didn't come in, he guessed) which were perched above a mahogany desk. Then the desk was drowning in paper sheets and different cristal containers spread all across its surface. To serve as a decoration to the table there was a crimson armchair that seemed very expensive, which was where Tamayo took a seat.
Then she gestured elegantly to another chair next to hers, although this one seemed more simplistic; made out of a smooth cloth which displayed colourful, extravagant patterns more fitting to western fashion instead of the luxurious shiny red that painted Tamayo's armchair.
Yuu sat down and waited for Tamayo to talk. He wasn't used to this kind of furniture, so he kept fidgeting on his chair.
"When her letters stopped coming, I tried to find her," Tamayo melancholically started. "But once I discovered what happened, it was already too late, your house was nothing but ashes and both your parents were dead. I assumed you died, too... I would have liked to raise you in her place."
This time Yuu was the one to pant in confusion when Tamayo took his face in between both her hands and got closer, too much. "You've grown so much," she said. This really wasn't what he was expecting.
"Your mother was an amazing doctor and a wonderful person," Tamayo continued. "She was very passionate about what she did, so much that she didn't even care that I was a demon just so she could learn from me." She chuckled in a way that made her look ten years younger. "Always calling me senpai."
Yuu stayed unmoving in between his hands and,very quietly, whispered, "my mother called you senpai?"
Tamayo nodded and finally let go of his face. "It must have been hard for you, right? Having to mourn by yourself... And so young, too."
Walking aimlessly, simply existing, and bones hurting along with dry tongues and rumbling stomachs were all things that came to mind.
"No," he said, and this time his voice was much softer. "I had people to take care of me... Makoto-san raised me these past three years as if I was his own."
Tamayo smiled despite the circumstances. "I'm glad you have people to rely on. I'm sorry I didn't find you until now."
"But... why would my mother meddle with you?" Yuu whispered, still in confusion. "She didn't care if you were a demon, but why?"
"When your mother was a child, her brother turned into a demon." Tamayo sadly watched his horrified stare. "You don't know much about your mother, do you?"
"I just... I just knew she wasn't from our village, that she was born somewhere else... " He hissed when biting his tongue, stuttering. "But I would have never imagined..."
"That's understable," she held him by the shoulders. "Her brother tried to eat her, but a demon slayer killed him before he could. That's something she always regretted... she always dreamed about giving him his consciousness back."
"Then she wanted a cure?" He whispered, gloomily.
"No." Tamayo shook her head. "Your mother didn't care if her brother was a demon, what she wanted was a way to help demons control their demonic nature... That's why she started studying spirit cores."
Yuu growled and ignored the familiarity of the term."I don't care about that, I just want to know who is the demon that turned Takeshi and killed my parents."
Tamayo looked at him with something tender in her eyes. "Of course, do you remember what they looked like?"
He let out a little pant. "His eyes... they were like rainbows. That's the thing I remember the most."
"Yuu..." Tamayo whispered his name with something close to panic. "There's only one demon with those eyes."
"You must promise," she said, desperately clutching to his arm. "Promise you won't go after him, or that you won't try to kill him."
Tamayo pressed just a tad too much, he complained. "Okay, okay! I won't!"
And although he did, Tamayo didn't look any less nervous. "The demon of colourful eyes... that demon is Upper Moon Two... Douma."
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