Chapter's song: "We Never Change" - Coldplay

By the time I made it home from First Beach, it was probably close to three in the morning and it was pitch black outside, as it rightfully should be. However, as I walked up to the house, I couldn't help but notice that one of the lights remained on from inside and I paused at the entrance before unlocking it with my keys, slowly opening the door to peek my head inside and looking around hesitantly.

"Uh... Ma?" I called out into the otherwise darkened house; the light coming from the dining room portion of the kitchen.

Ma's voice answered me, "Yeah Embry," she called out- her voice echoing from the lightened portion of the house, "I'm in here."

I fully entered the house at her words and shut the door behind me making sure to lock it and kicked my shoes off onto the mat nearby that sat askew on the floor. In socked feet I wandered over to the fridge to pull out a can of soda and popped the top immediately but paused before going up to my room; Seth's words echoing in my head. With a sigh, I spun around to look at where my Ma sat at the dining room table under the spotlight of the lights above her.

"Hey, uh, whatchya doing?" I decided to ask her and she shrugged her shoulders.

"Nothing," she answered with a small shake of her head as if to convince herself and not me but I didn't buy it and I took a few steps towards her and smirked.

"Nothing, huh?" I repeated. "Kinda weird to be up doing nothing at three in the morning and then not give me the third degree when I show up without an explanation as to where I was." I tsked my tongue once and tilted my head to look at her. "S'not really like you."

"It's really not important," she muttered and I smiled softly while moving to pull out the chair next to her at the table and set my soda down on the wooden surface.

"May I?" I asked as she glanced over at me before nodded mindlessly and I took my seat beside her; my eyes gravitating to the collection of things she had sitting in front of her.

The first thing I noticed was the ratted shoebox directly to the right of her that was sitting open; the top of the shoebox sitting on the bottom of the box like a coaster. It wasn't completely full as I couldn't see the contents of the box from where I sat, but I assumed there were things inside of it because held in Ma's hand was a Polaroid picture, creased and faded from age so I couldn't quite tell what was pictured from my distance. She stared at it intently as if by looking at it she could travel back in time and return to whatever memory the picture depicted.

I leaned in towards her slightly and grinned, "Hey," I teased with a playful raise of my eyebrows while trying to sneak a peak of whatever image was in the picture she was staring at, "what have you got there?" I asked and she sighed while closing her eyes and setting the picture face down on the table.

"Where have you been all night?" She decided to ask, all though, she didn't sound angry and instead sounded more absent than anything as if this was an afterthought and I shook my head and laughed through my response.

"Oh no, you don't get to ignore my question to ask your own." I pointed to the picture she was hiding from me and looked at her with a sly sort of look. "Besides, I asked you first, so I get dibs on an answer. You do respect dibs, don't you?"

She chuckled to herself and eyed me curiously as if trying to decide whether or not it was worth it to tell me the truth or not about the picture she was attempting to hide. "I already told you, Embry. It's- It's nothing, really."

"Really? We'll just have to see about that!" I said before making a quick snatch for the picture from her hands and effectively getting it out of her grip to which she glared at me and demanded it back.

"Embry!" She scolded but I returned 'the look' she so often gave me followed by a proud grin.

"Now, let's see what exactly this 'nothing' is, shall we?" I stated dramatically before holding the picture up to my face, my expression changing to one of interest and mild shock with a dash of entertainment at the image before me. "Is this... is this... YOU, Ma?" I asked through a small giggle and she was quick to grab the picture out of my hands again.

She looked at the picture for a moment, but this time, she held it out for me to look at with her as she answered me. "Yes, Embry. That's me. A few months before I got pregnant, actually."

"I've never seen pictures of you when you were younger before," I marveled as I looked at her in the faded photograph.

She looked so...happy. She couldn't be older than 18 in the picture- a young thing with a doe-eyed look on her face with the whole world in front of her full of endless possibilities. The picture had a yellow-tint to it for whatever reason, so it was hard to tell, but it looked as though she was sitting on a red blanket on some field somewhere with a picnic basket beside her. Her grin was from ear-to-ear and her hair was much longer than it was now- almost down to her butt which was much different to where it sat now which was at about her mid-back. I stared at her, inspected her in the photograph completely amazed that the woman in the photograph would grow up to be my Ma. She looked so carefree and innocent.

My eyes then drifted to the other occupant of the photograph and my smile quickly transformed to that of a frown. "Ma... don't tell me that's-" I began but she merely nodded her head sadly and confirmed my suspicions.

"Joshua Uley, yes." She laughed without humor and set the picture down face-up on the table only to pull over the shoebox to inspect it's contents with me. "I know it may seem pathetic, but I've saved all these things all these years..."

One by one, she began to pull out things that, to me, had no meaning whatsoever. A movie ticket stub. A ratted handmaid bracelet. A folded piece of paper that she didn't bother to unfold or read but she definitely knew what it said because she looked at it, smirked to herself, shook her head and said, "not today," and then set it aside. The last thing she pulled out though seemed to be the most important of the objects as she held it close to her chest for a long while and closed her eyes as if it held some kind of energy only she could feel- the object taking her back to a time and place momentarily before she at last placed it on the table for me to see. It was a keychain that said 'Quileute Reservation La Push, WA' that, ironically, that the picture of a little wolf on it though she'd probably never understand why.

I glanced up at her from the collection of things she'd strategically organized on the tabletop in front of us and furrowed my brow. "I don't get it." I said matter-of-factly. "You've had this shoebox this entire time hiding... where now?"

"My closet-"

"Right, your closet, for-for years now, filled with all this...this junk all dedicated to some guy who knocked you up only to ditch you without ever even reaching out to you in over 20 years?" I shook my head incredulously. "Why?"

"I don't expect you to understand-" she started with a soft voice and I scoffed angrily at how ridiculous she was being.

"Good. Because I don't. Ma, you've got to move on already! I mean, it's been over 20 years for God's sake! You should be out there trying to be with somebody who cares about you and respects you and gives you the love you deserve! Not... not... hung up on some guy who disrespects you so much he just-"

"It's more complicated than that, sweetheart," she tried before sighing and picking up the picture once more to look at it with sad eyes. "Joshua was... the love of my life."

"The love of your...? Ha!" I couldn't help but roll my eyes. "You've got to be kidding me." I muttered under my breath. "You can't honestly think he's back here to like... get back together with you, do you?"

Ma turned to look at me with a small smile and reached out to brush some of my hair from my forehead and then moved to rest her hand on my neck. She shook her head. "Of course not, Embry. I don't expect anything. The only thing I am looking for is maybe... maybe an answer as to why he left in the first place. I have my suspicions... but it would be nice to know why- to know why he left that day and never reached out until now."

I don't know what compelled me to ask, but before I knew it, the words were escaping my mouth faster than I could reel them back in. "What exactly happened?" I asked suddenly and Ma seemed taken aback by my question though she had to know it was coming. "I mean, between you two."

She dropped her hand from my neck and turned away from me. "Oh Embry, I don't know..." She was shaking her head more to herself than to me. Whatever it was, she didn't want me to know what had went down and suddenly, the question wasn't just some mistake that I'd blurted out. I reached out and set my hand gently on her back because it occurred to me that I genuinely wanted to know. Maybe it was time she actually told me and maybe it was time I knew the truth about everything.

"Ma," I started slowly and in a quiet voice, "can't you just tell me?" I asked. She turned her head to look over at me with fearful eyes. "You've never told me anything about anyone my whole life. Not about our family... not about who my dad was... nothing and... and maybe it's time to rip the band-aid off and just tell me."

She took a deep breath and slowly let it out. "I wanted to start over, Embry. Leave it all behind and start over for your sake. I didn't want you to have all that baggage and if you didn't know then it couldn't weigh you down like it weighed me down."

I shrugged my shoulders. "Maybe if you give some of the weight to me, you can float better."

"You know, Embry, it's really not that unique of a story or anything. I'm sure the same kind of thing has happened to plenty of other people just like me so you really don't have to-"

I was quick to cut her off by holding up a hand and shaking my head once. "Ma. I want to know. Please."

Her eyes lightened some at my words and with another deep breath, she sat up straighter and began at the beginning- back where it all started for her: where she grew up in the Makah tribe.

"Your grandma, my mom, died when I was really young," she began. "She had breast cancer and while the doctors had told her treatment was a viable option and they'd caught it early, it metastasized a lot faster than they'd expected and she ended up passing away by the time I was three." She looked down at her hands which sat in her lap. "So I don't really remember her or anything and my dad never talked about her much when I was growing up."

"Wow," I said, "I'm really sorry, Ma."

She shrugged and turned her head up to look at me again. "Like I said, I didn't remember her or anything so I wasn't really sad. I just moved on with my life and for a while, it was just me and my dad, kind of like it has been you and me. But my dad..." she looked away from me then as if he was standing just over her shoulder watching her where she sat at the table with me, "he was lonely... and it wasn't long before he met Tracy and she moved in with her four kids. I must have only been about four and a half by the time they were married, I don't really remember."

"Was this Tracy nice to you at least?" I questioned and she offered a smile but shook her head.

"No, not at all. At least not to me," she answered after a beat. "Not in like an evil stepmother sort of way. I wasn't cooking and cleaning like some kind of Cinderella. Tracy kind of just ignored me more or less. I wasn't her kid and thus I wasn't really any of her concern. Her kids were nice enough though, spoiled, but we got along as well as kids do. The boys, there were three of them, were significantly older than me- they were all at least twelve or so. But her daughter, she was my age and so it was nice to have someone around the house who was my age, though she was treated much differently than me. Even so, the two of us grew up together and became very close. We were practically best friends."

"Ma," I deadpanned, "you realize you were totally Cinderella, right?"

She laughed and shook her head, "Embry, I really wasn't, okay? I had everything I needed. I wasn't kept from doing anything and I wasn't treated like free labor or anything. I wasn't abused, Tracy just didn't particularly take an interest in me is all, that's it. I had my dad who loved and cared for me and that's all I needed in terms of love."

I reached for my soda which I'd forgotten I had grabbed at the beginning of our conversation when I'd first sat down and took a swig before setting it back onto the table and leaned back into my chair. "Fine. So you're not Cinderella. You're... Cinder-iffany. Wait though, if your dad is so great and all you ever needed, how come we never hear from him?"

Her eyes faded from joy to sorrow and I knew in that instant I'd asked the wrong question. "My sophomore year of high school, and I remember this day so vividly, I was in my biology class when they called me down to the office and informed me my dad was in the hospital but it wasn't anything serious. Of course I was worried, but they said it wasn't anything serious so I stayed in school the whole day and expected him to be home by the time school was over."

I sighed and guessed what happened next. "I take it he wasn't there when you got home, huh?"

She smiled that kind of upside down smile you do when you're trying to break bad news to someone but they already know what you're going to say. "Tracy was sitting on the couch smoking a cigarette staring at some program on television but not really watching it. I asked where my dad was and if he was okay but she just told me to take a seat next to her. I knew what she was going to say and yet, I still played dumb hoping I was wrong and the feeling in the pit of my stomach was just some kind of bad feeling you get like paranoia or something."

"So what was it? What had happened?" I gasped, "She didn't... she didn't kill him did she?"

Ma tsked her tongue and looked at me in slight agitation. "Embry, how many times do I have to tell you? She wasn't evil, okay?"

"Right."

"No," she continued, "She told me that my dad had suffered from a heart attack and that he hadn't pulled through."

My eyes widened. "And you were... what like, 16?"

"15, actually. I hadn't turned 16 yet."

I sat in shock at what she had just told me. I couldn't imagine being an orphan at only 15, especially in a house with all those people she wasn't even really related to. "You must have felt so lonely after that," I assumed but to my surprise, she shrugged.

"More motivated," she explained. "After the funeral and whatnot, since my dad wasn't planning on dying and left no will, Tracy inherited everything and I was left with nothing. At first it really bothered me and I was really depressed for a long while because I missed my dad and I felt like I had lost my biggest support system. I mean, like I'd mentioned before, Tracy wasn't evil like you keep insinuating," she glared at me, "but she didn't take much notice of me or encourage me in the ways she did with her own kids. I guess I kind of realized I had to do that for myself now, which is exactly what I did."

"What do you mean?" I asked and she grinned proudly and crossed her arms across her chest and sat up in perfect posture while tilting her head up like some kind of snotty rich person with buttloads of money.

"I went out and got a job."

"Ooooooh," I sounded with a wiggle of my brows, "Cinder-iffany got a job! Where at?"

Ma laughed at my nickname, "It was just a hole-in-the-wall dive of a diner off of the freeway. It didn't pay really well and I never made much in tips but I figured if I saved every penny I made over the next few years of high school, I could maybe save up enough to put my way through college. Well, some of it."

I eyed her skeptically and she pushed my shoulder back playfully, "College was cheaper back then, okay? And there is such thing as financial aid, you know."

"Right, right, I guess," I retorted and she rolled her eyes at me and continued with her story.

"So anyway, senior year, I was working a shift at the diner and I'd been there for close to nine hours already and I was exhausted- totally ready to go home –when a handsome stranger I'd never seen before walks in and sits down in my section right as I'm about to head out for the day." Ma's face lit up as she began telling the story I knew was leading up to the entrance of Joshua and I fought back the frown that was twitching on my lips. I knew that's where all of this was leading, hell, I'd asked for this backstory after all so I had to be ready when he ultimately showed up. Mentally, I tried to prepare myself for his appearance in the tale she was telling.

"Naturally," she went on, "my boss tells me that I have to finish this customer and then I can head out for the day- he promises –and so I begrudgingly go over and introduce myself as his waitress and all that, you know, the specials and the usual stuff. But Embry, the way he looked at me, it was as if the words coming out of my mouth were the most beautiful things he'd ever heard. I could have been singing a professional-quality opera for him or something-"

My eyes lit up at her description and I suddenly became more interested as she continued to describe their first encounter at the diner.

"-I mean the man was entranced by me. His eyes were fixated on me and I swear he was almost in tears like I was some angel from heaven, it was crazy." She shook her head at the memory. "Honestly, I'll never forget, I was so annoyed with him because I couldn't get him to answer me after I'd done my schpeel. I thought he was crazy, actually." She shrugged, "Turns out, there was just 'something about me' he later told me."

She thought about that for a moment before looking down at her hands again and muttering, "Not sure how much of that is true now, but..." her voice trailed off as she picked at one of her nails, a habit I'd picked up on off of her, but I was fixated on what she'd just told me. Their first meeting... it sounded awfully familiar.

"Ma, you and Joshua," I began to ask while treading the waters of my question carefully, "you two had never met before, right?"

"No," she answered. "I said that, didn't I?"

"Yeah, yeah you did," I replied softly but had to ask again more forcefully, "but you're sure, Ma? Like, really really sure you two hadn't like, bumped into each other on the street before or seen each other at like, let's say, the grocery story by chance? Anywhere? Ever? Not once? Not even in passing?"

Ma chuckled almost nervously. "I'm pretty sure we hadn't, no. What's with all the questions, Embry?"

I licked my lips to try and wet my suddenly chapped and dry mouth and shook my head rapidly. No. Joshua couldn't have imprinted on my Ma. That's impossible. That couldn't have happened. Stop being ridiculous, Embry.

I looked at my Ma who was watching me curiously and waiting for an answer to her question about my questions. Nonsensically, I began speaking, "N-nothing. Nothing, I don't have any questions, none, no questions." Words were coming out of me at rapid speed and I blinked a few times as if to reset my brain and tried to refocus my attention to the task at hand- Ma's story. "What were you saying now?" After a moment, Ma nodded her head realizing I was okay, at least for the time being, and continued with her story.

"Right," she began again, "so after I was done with my shift, he invited me to sit with him and for some reason, I said yes." She laughed to herself and shook her head thinking back to the memory from so long ago. "I know, I know. Pretty dumb to sit with some stranger but there was something about him, too. We talked for hours the two of us. I'd dated some in high school, but I'd never met anyone like Joshua before. He wasn't interested in telling me about his life, he just wanted to know about me and mine."

She looked at me and looked away almost ashamed. "Probably a warning sign, looking back in hindsight, but I was young and naive and I'll admit- I was smitten. He was just so handsome and he seemed so sweet and caring- he had kind eyes like you."

I bit my lip and looked down at my own hands but Ma reached out and tilted my chin up to look at her. "I've always said I loved your eyes because they held all the kindness in the world, Embry. Having kind eyes, even if they resemble his, is not a bad thing. Just because you have some traits like his does not make you him. You know that right?"

I looked away from her anyway, electing not to answer her, and she continued with her story. "Believe it or not, Tracy warned me about him." This peaked my interest and I eyed her in surprise. She nodded with a small smirk. "Oh yeah, she did. She told me he was no good for me because he was much older than me- almost ten years my senior, although," she wrinkled her brow, "he sure doesn't look it now. I wonder what his secret is..."

My eyes hid from hers in hope not to give anything away but she moved away from the topic and proceeded with the narrative. "Obviously, I didn't listen though. We saw each other constantly, Joshua and I. I was always sneaking out to see him in the middle of the night. We'd meet up in all different places- abandoned houses where nobody would look for us, the woods on the outskirts of the city, the beach, the open field where this picture was taken... most nights we would just lay outside and stare up at the stars and talk about our hopes and dreams," she paused for a long moment thinking back to whatever those hopes and dreams used to be but not disclosing what they were. "He never told me about his past though. He only ever told me he had to get away from it and that it was for the good of everyone he never return. I didn't know what that meant, but I was never afraid of him. I didn't think he was a serial killer or anything... I always felt so safe around him. Like I was completely and utterly protected. Though to be fair... we probably should have... never mind..."

Ma started to laugh to herself at some memory and I looked at her in confusion. "What's so funny?" I asked and she shook her head.

"Oh, nothing," she responded and I crossed my arms.

"Seriously? You're not gonna tell me?"

"I'm fairly positive you don't want to know, Embry," she answered and I raised a brow.

"Oh, c'mon Ma. Out with it."

"I was just going to say we the only protection I could have used was-"

I was quick to cut her off. "Oh Jesus, Ma!" I exclaimed. "Seriously?"

"What?" She said through laughter. "It's not like you didn't realize we were having sex, Embry. I mean, how do you think you showed up?"

I glared at her. "Well obviously I know you two had sex but I don't need to picture it, Ma. That's gross."

She frowned in my direction. "There's nothing disgusting about sex. Everyone has sex. I'm sure you're even having sex. It's not my business to know, but I don't pretend you haven't."

My eyes widened at her assumption. "MA," I practically shouted, completely mortified. "For the love of God, please don't talk about my sex life?! To me?"

"Honey, it's completely natural!" She tried but I wasn't having any of this.

"I know it's natural!" I cried out. "Oh my god!" I buried my face in my hands trying to hide my shame. "Can we please move on, I'm begging you..." I said into the palms of my hands and my Ma only chuckled before she finally respected my wishes and continued with her story.

"We were just really happy is all. Always spending time together. We couldn't get enough of each other, really."

I lifted my face from my hands to look over at her and ask the dreaded question I knew she knew was coming."So what happened?" Almost instantly she was pulled from her happy memories she was lingering on inside her head and she sighed, casting her gaze downward and reaching out to pull the keychain that read 'Quileute Reservation La Push, WA' from off the table then fiddling with it in her hands.

"Well, to put it delicately..." she glanced up to look at me through her eyelashes, "you happened, Embry."

I felt heat rush to my cheeks and I immediately frowned. "Oh."

Ma sighed, "I mean, honestly Embry, I'm not even sure if it was you," she tried to use as an excuse. "Joshua he... he sort of just... left... and he didn't- well he didn't really give much of an explanation."

"What do you mean?"

Chewing on her lip, she thought for a bit before huffing and grabbing the folded letter she hadn't wanted to read before and handing it to me. "Here," she said. "When I found out I was pregnant, I told him right away. At first, he was excited but the next day I went out to get the mail and found this in my mailbox. I never saw him again. Until he showed up the other day, that is."

I unfolded the note and read the few words that were scribbled on the crumpled up paper that had clearly been to hell and back before neatly folded and put into Ma's memory box.

Tiff-

There's things about me you'll never understand and I can never tell you.

Sometimes you just have to pack up and leave, and that's what I'm doing.

I never intended to do what I've done to anyone, especially you. I hope you can forgive me one day.

-Joshua

Carefully, I folded the note back to it's original small square shape and handed it back to my Ma who placed it inside the box it had come from; the keychain still in tightly held in her hand. I pointed to it and inquired with a nod, "And that?"

She looked down at it, "Ahh," was her reaction, as if she'd forgotten the ending to her own story. "Well, I was determined to keep you. I guess I figured I wanted to be the mom to you in the way my own mom never got the chance to be to me," she shrugged like it wasn't a big deal even though it looked as though it broke her heart to say the words out loud. "And as you grew, I couldn't help but think of Joshua and how I knew he could be such a good father to you if he would just give himself a chance. I guess in my head I just thought he had scared himself and ran off."

"Oh Ma..." I murmured and she sighed nodding her head.

"I know. Hindsight, right?" She agreed before continuing. "Anyway, this keychain," she said while holding it up to show me as if I hadn't seen it before she'd began telling the story, "Joshua had given me for some reason, I don't even remember why anymore, but he had told me it was from his hometown and so I guessed that the key to finding him might be in this keychain... La Push, Washington."

I raised my brows in shock. "That's why you came here? Because of a keychain?"

She chuckled and raised her hands up in a sort of hands-and-shoulders shrug. "What can I say?"

"How did you get here though?"

"Remember the step-sister who you insisted was, according to your thought process, the likeness to an evil stepsister?" She quizzed me and I quickly became defensive at the insinuation.

"Hey! I never said she was an evil stepsister, I just said Tracy was an evil stepmother-" I tried but Ma cut me off.

"Well, she had been given a hand-me-down car for her sixteenth birthday that she often drove me around in and whatnot to get to work and such so I asked her for a ride to Port Angeles so I could catch a bus and go to Forks and finally to La Push in hopes of finding Joshua," she explained and I slow clapped for her as she closed her eyes in probable embarrassment.

"Wow, Ma, just wow. The balls on you!" I applauded and she gave me a look at my phrase so I quit clapping and held my hands up in surrender. "Sorry- sorry. I meant to say the 'guts you have.'"

"Sure, guts is one way of saying it. I was six months pregnant going to a town I'd never been to in search for a guy I'd only known for a handful of months," she shook her head. "I think foolish is a better word for what I was."

"Wait, wait, wait," I stopped her, "so did you borrow money for this extravagant trip or...?"

"Embry, were you paying attention?" She asked, insulted. "Don't you remember I'd been saving money for college from the diner?"

"But that was your college money, Ma!" I exclaimed and she dismissed me immediately.

"Honey, as soon as you came along, I threw that dream away."

I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms over my chest ready to argue. "You could have still gone to college, Ma."

"And miss out on everything?" She was quick to counter. "Your first steps? Your first words? All of the time we spent together I wouldn't trade for anything, Embry. Why would I pay someone to have all of those memories that I treasure so much?"

I couldn't help but smile at her. Nobody could beat my Ma when it came to best moms. Absolutely nobody.

"Okay," I started up again, "so you took your diner money, you get your not-so-evil-stepsister to drive you to Washington state, and then what?"

"Right, so we say goodbye to each other and it was really difficult because I knew I wasn't planning on coming back. I had packed one bag full of clothing, I had taken all of my money and that was it- there was nothing left for me in that place. It was a tearful goodbye, but it was necessary. To me, I was leaving an old life behind and starting a new one with what I'd hoped was going to be Joshua in La Push, Washington."

"And me," I said sadly.

"Especially you," Ma retorted with a chipper tone. "The trip was long and I hated every second of it but I eventually made it here to La Push and, well, long story short, I wasn't exactly the most popular newbie in town."

"Oh really?" I asked in mock surprise.

"I know, right? I did find the Uley household but, of course, Joshua wasn't there. To my horror, I instead came face to face with Allison and little Sam. I felt awful for coming so far only to discover exactly why he hadn't told me about the life he'd left behind." She shook her head but not in shame, more from sadness that she'd allowed herself to get carried away in a fantasy all those years ago.

"Why didn't you go home?" I wondered and she scoffed at me.

"To what?" She retorted. "I didn't exactly have a home to go back to. La Push was as good a place as any and at least there I stood a chance of Joshua coming back and having to face what he'd done- an idea that sounded good at the time but doesn't sound so good these days now that it's actually happening the more that I think about it..." her voice trailed off for a moment, lost in thought before she returned to where she'd left off.

"The locals didn't appreciate my being in La Push, however. Allison made it known that I was the one who was responsible for her marriage falling apart the way it had though I tried to tell anyone who would listen otherwise. Most didn't care. One person did though."

I tilted my head slightly in curiosity. "Who?"

"Sarah. Sarah Black."

A smile spread across my face. Jake's mom.

"We'd met in Mommy and Me classes," Ma went on to explain, "She was just a few months behind me in terms of pregnancy and we were fast friends. Such a kind and understanding woman, that Sarah. Not only did she listen to my side of what happened with Joshua and me, she stood up for me when others gossiped endlessly around the reservation."

"I remember Sarah somewhat," I chimed in, her face blurry in my memory but still there nonetheless.

"She was the only reason I was ever able to fit in at La Push. She helped me get my job at the souvenir shop and we'd volunteer together so I was able to meet more people and become a part of the community. She was such a wonderful woman..." she stopped suddenly and I knew what was coming next- the same thing everyone says when someone like that passes away unexpectedly and the good memories fade to the inevitable ones of why they aren't around anymore. "It's just so tragic what happened to her."

"Yeah..." was all I could muster. I didn't remember much about the accident that ultimately killed Sarah Black. All I remember was sitting with Jake at his mom's funeral and a lot of crying and a sea of black.

And the coffin. It's hard to forget the coffin because it was nailed shut.

Jake doesn't talk about her much. I mean, he was only nine when she died and all so he doesn't remember her much, at least, not in the ways that his sisters do or Billy does.

"After Sarah died though, things might not have gone back to how they were before so much as people glaring and all that, but I mostly just got ignored," Ma went on with a small nod of her head. "I was just glad you fit in so well," she said with a smile. "You always had Jacob and soon after Quil by your side and the three of you were inseparable. I was fine with not having so many friends in town so long as you did. I just wanted your happiness."

I looked down at my feet and wiggled my toes up to myself like a sort of foot-wave. If only she knew just how well I really 'fit in' these days. Or rather, these passed few years.

Ma sighed to herself. "I guess I'm just afraid of what will happen once Allison realizes Joshua is back in town. Joshua says he hasn't reached out to her yet, though he has seen Sam, he hasn't tried to talk to him since." She shook her head before burying her face in her hands. "I don't know what I'm getting myself into by continuing to talk to him..." Her words were muffled as she spoke into her palms.

I smirked, "Honestly Ma, I was kinda wondering the same thing."

She peaked her eyes through the slits of her fingers before sliding her face up to rest her chin in her hands and look at me from there. "It's just still... different with him though, Embry. I can't even explain it. I've never been able to stop thinking about him my whole life."

My mind thought back to the way she'd talked about hers and Joshua's first encounter all those years ago and I tried to pry a little further in hopes of getting some more information to confirm my suspicions before I did something I really, really didn't want to do... but I'd do it for my Ma.

"Why...why is that...you think?" I asked while resting my elbow on my knee and putting my own chin in the palm of my hand trying to mimic her position and she laughed at my pose while sitting upright.

"Why is what?"

I sat back up and clarified. "I mean, what is it about him you can't get out of your mind?"

She shrugged her shoulders and pulled the sweater she was wearing tighter around her body only to then cross her arms in an effort to keep the sweater in place. "I don't know," she said amid a nervous laugh. "I guess... his energy? The uh... the way he makes me feel. He makes me feel really safe and like I'm the only person in the entire world. I feel listened to and like nothing else matters. Maybe this sounds weird but, when we were together, I always felt like the Earth itself could come crumbling down and Joshua would somehow be able to hold it together just for me like he could save my life somehow..." she seemed lost in thought and then shook her head. "That sounds dumb. It's just like nothing mattered besides me. Like I was his entire world. Like every day he woke up and ate, breathed, drank, everything... me."

I stared at her intently, my mouth slightly ajar as I took in everything she was saying- now completely convinced of what I had to do. Ma noticed this and instantly blushed. "I know, I know. It sounds like a really unhealthy situation now that I say it out loud, huh?"

Without answering her, I pushed myself up from the table. "Ma, I gotta go," I said quickly while rushing to the front door and she called after me though didn't bother to stand up.

"Embry- it's nearly five in the morning," she argued. "Where could you possibly have to be?"

"It's just," I tried, but sighed, settling on a vague kind of counterpoint. "It's just really important, okay? You have to trust me."

"But, Embry-"

"Please, Ma? Just this once, I need you to trust me and not argue with me because no matter what you say, you gotta know that by now, you can ground me and send me to my room but you know I'll just climb out and be gone within a half hour anyway." I watched her for a moment as silence fell between us before finally asking her once more, "Am I right?"

She frowned and waved me off, "Just go."

I jogged up to her from where I had been standing by the door to kiss her head and quickly tell her I loved her before jogging back to the door to head out only to stop midway between inside and outside. With furrowed brow, I turned to face my Ma who was still sitting at the table; the faded Polaroid once again in her hand.

"Ma?" I asked and she peeled her eyes from the photograph to look at me.

"Yes, Embry?"

"Can I ask you something?"

She nodded her head giving me the go ahead.

"After everything that happened... Joshua leaving you and everyone in La Push spreading gossip and after Sarah died everyone ignoring you and all that... like after everything that happened to you- if you could go back to that diner before you met Joshua and instead go home before ever waiting his table and skip all of it to take some other path- you know, maybe go off to college, get your degree, meet some nice dude who treats you well, get married, have a family, the works... would you?"

She smiled and set down the picture pushing herself up to walk over where I stood by the door and took hold of me by my biceps as she couldn't quite reach up to my shoulders. With a shake of her head, she answered me. "Absolutely not."

"But...why? You could skip everything and have that perfect life."

Ma shrugged and squeezed me. "Who's to say I'd have that life though? Who knows if that's the life that particular path would have led me down? And besides," she continued, "this path gave me you. I'd wait that table and go down this path a thousand times over again if it gave me you every time. It was worth it for you, Embry."

I rolled my eyes, "Ma..." I said dramatically but she knew I was grateful for her too. She let go of me and I turned around to at last leave the house in pursuit of the thing I didn't want to do in the first place but knew I had to if my hunch was right. I had a feeling this whole catastrophe might not entirely be Joshua's fault... I had the feeling that once again- imprinting was to blame.

And if imprinting was to blame, that meant that Sam might have no right to be all that angry at his dad seeing as he kind of had the same situation happen to him all those years ago with him, Leah and Emily.

With a leap and a quick phase, I was deep into the threshold of the woods and for the first time since he'd shown up at my doorstep, I couldn't wait to talk to Joshua Uley.

This is my favorite chapter. I literally started writing this story so that I COULD write this chapter. I have thought long and hard about Tiffany's backstory and why it is she would go to La Push in the first place with no family or friends she knew there, and this was what I came up with. Honestly, this is my DREAM CHAPTER. Of all the chapters this story will have, THIS is the chapter i most crave reviews on- the little bits of humor I've placed throughout along with the sad backstory that is Tiffany's life.

So anyway, if you could just drop me a review and lemme know what you thought of this chapter, it would be so so appreciated.

As always, please also subscribe and favorite this story if you are enjoying it thus far! I am so thankful you have decided to read and follow my little ficlet so THANK YOU!

xo

Polkahotness