Anastasia's POV

It's been three weeks since Christian and I have become official and everything is going wonderfully. He's still demanding as ever, but I wouldn't take him any other way. He challenges my stubborness and the light bickering is actually quite entertaining. Kate, Mia, and Elliot are aware of our relationship, but Christian's parents don't know, yet and I'm actually quite nervous for him to make that announcement. The last time I was there, I came with Ethan and ended up running out of the house without so much as a goodbye or thank you. I fail at first impressions. I've purposely been avoiding their Sunday family dinners, but today is his birthday and I know I can no longer avoid the situation. Tonight we'll be having a small dinner at his parents with his family, Ros and her wife Gwen, Gail and Taylor, and Kate. Christian is picking me up at 5:00 pm so I have the whole day to get ready. I'll be staying at Escala tonight, so I'll have to pack an overnight bag.

I decide to start with my nails and head into the bathroom to pick out a color. Since I'll be meeting his parents, I choose a light pink, pearl color and grab the polish remover and when I'm grabbing the cotton pads out from the back, my lack of coordination causes the few things in front of it to fall. After a dramatic sigh, I kneel down to pick up the contents on the floor. Ear swabs, nail grooming kit, and tampons. Tampons. I stare down at the box in my hand. What day is it? June 18th.

Crap.

When was my last period?

Think, Ana, think.

My eyes squeeze shut and I think back.

It was the week after Cinco de Mayo weekend. It was taco day at work and I had to miss it because I had to run out to buy these suckers in my hand. When was that? The 9th?

"Oh, fuck!" I stand quickly and hit the top of my head on the open cabinet door. I hiss and hold the back of my head as I stand.

"This can't be happening. This can't be happening to me." I half-whisper, going to the mirror. I look closely at my face and then take a step back, pulling up my shirt. I don't look pregnant. Maybe it's a fluke. I snort. Of course you don't look pregnant, Steele. You're like what? Two seconds pregnant?

"I am not pregnant." I tell myself in the mirror. I've only had a sex life for two months! This can't be happening! We used a condom every time. I don't get what went wrong! How am I suppose to go to his parents tonight and-

"No!" The reminder fuck. I'LL KILL HIM.

The nail polish lay forgotten on my bathroom floor as I hurry to throw my hair on the top of my head and slip on some flip flops before hurrying out of my apartment to Wal-Green's, which is right down the street. It's a quick five minute walk and when I get there, I stare at the wall of tests. Which one do I get?

"Screw it."

I start throwing one of each kind into my basket and make my way towards the front to pay. The teenage girl looks into my basket when I place it on the counter and I scowl at her. Don't judge me you little cow!

The teenage girl doesn't say a word as she scans and bags my items. I quickly pay the $119.21 for my massive amount of pregnancy tests and hurry out the door and back towards my apartment. I struggle with the lock and, when I get in the door, I immediately grab a bottle of water and head towards the bathroom. I place the bag of tests next to the toilet and, after pulling down my bottoms and having a seat, I pull one out. EPT: Error Proof Test.

Let's start with this one.

I read the directions carefully with shaky hands and decide to open it and the rest, lining them up on the side of the tub so I can grab them quickly as I pee. I decide to chug the water bottle first and then grab the EPT first. One after another I hold it under my stream and manage to pee on three before I stop. I grab a fourth one and force myself to go again, but after the fourth, I have nothing left.

I leave them on the side of the bath tub while I flush and wash my hands and I find myself unable to turn around. They have to be negative. They have to be.

You're just being ridiculous, Steele. This is all in your head. You're just late. I nod at myself and take a deep breath, turning towards the offensive sticks and bend over to look at them. Two lines, two lines, plus symbol, 'Pregnant'.

"Oh, fuck." My hands go over my mouth and I hit my knees as I continue to stare at them. This cannot be happening to me.

My phone pings in my back pocket and I startle back to the present. I pull it out of my pocket and see a text from Christian.

*Can't wait to unwrap my present tonight. Hoping it's wrapped in red.*

My shoulders sag as I read the message and I just want to cry. My Christian. It's his birthday and I guarantee that this will ruin it. I need to wait to tell him. Maybe I'll tell him tomorrow.

*Your present will be wrapped and waiting.* I send back, feeling sick. I feel like by omitting this information, I'm lying to him, but I want him to have a great birthday. He deserves it. He works hard and this will be his first birthday without that child molester sticking her nose into it and he'll finally be able to relax with his family. I'll tell him tomorrow. It's best to wait.

I tell myself it's best to wait, but it isn't a minute later that I find myself sobbing into my pillow like the world is ending. I'm twenty-two years old. My first real relationship. And this happens. What if Christian leaves me? Kate is always joking that pregnancy tests are magic wands that make men disappear...what if she's right? But Christian said he wasn't afraid of commitment. He told me I could depend on him during the tough times...well, this is one of them isn't it? He might be upset, but he won't just leave me...would he?

I force myself to regain my composure and head back towards the bathroom to get ready. I take all the tests and throw them in the garbage, putting the rest of them back in the bag and hiding them in the back of my cabinet. I pull out my nail polish and remover and stare at it. Are the fumes bad for the baby? I look down at my stomach and back at the polish. I am so not mother material. I know nothing about babies or being pregnant.

I decide to forego the polish and just leave my fingers bare at the moment. I decide on a long, hot shower instead to try and cleanse my body and mind, before heading into my closet to find my red dress, as requested by the birthday boy.

Fast forward a few hours and a couple breakdowns later and I'm dressed and ready for Christian to pick me up. I really wish he'd just let me drive to his place, but since becoming official, he always refuses. His way of making sure I don't try to leave, I guess.

There's a knock at the door and I grab my handbag and hurry to open the door. Christian is standing there in a navy suit with matching shirt and he looks delicious.

"You look incredible, Ana." His arm snakes around my waist and he pulls me to him, kissing me soundly.

"Happy birthday." I smile up at him, forcing myself to swallow my nerves. All I really want to do is close the door and cry into my pillow a little longer, but I've got to pull up my big girl panties and face this head on.

He returns my smile and leans down to nibble on my neck. "It is, indeed, Miss Steele." He murmurs, continuing his assault across my neck. His facial hair tickles, making my giggle and I squirm away from him.

"You're going to make my neck all red." I push him by his arms away from me.

"So?"

My eyes widen. "We're going to your parents!"

He gives me a nod. "Oh...right."

I roll my eyes at him and make my way into the hall, causing him to swat my bum playfully.

I hear him groan and I look over my shoulder. "Your ass looks phenomenal."

I grin at him and shake it a little. "You'll get to unwrap it later. Come on, birthday boy. I'm sure everyone would like to see you." I start walking and just like I knew he'd be, he's right on me, his groin pressed up against the small of my back and his arm around my waist as we make our way to the elevator.

XxXxXx

Please, don't let his parents hate me. Oh, please don't let them hate me.

"Mom, you remember Anastasia?" Christian states with his hand on the small of my back.

She gives me a small nod and a forced smile. Oh, god. She hates me. "Nice to see you again, Anastasia."

His mother doesn't offer her hand, so I just give her a nod. "Likewise, Dr. Trevelyan. Thank you for having me. I apologize for running out so quickly during my last visit. I wasn't feeling very well."

His mother waves me off. "Don't worry about it, Anastasia. Christian explained that you weren't."

I smile at her. Thank god Christian vouched for me.

I say hello to Mr. Grey while he sits at the table and he just nods at me while he take a sip of his drink. I begin to wonder if his father is just flat, but looking up at Christian, I know it's not the case. Christian is scowling at his father over the flat greeting and I now know that he isn't happy with Christian's choice of a girlfriend. I've ruined my welcome by coming with Ethan last time.

Mia greets me with a warm hug and then Christian introduces me to Ros and Gwen, both who I've heard a lot about, and who both seem to warm to me quickly. It isn't long before Kate and Elliot arrives and I find myself wanting to stick to her side for some reason. When she makes her way over to the opposite side of the room to talk to Mia, I have to force myself to stay with Christian.

I slip my hand in his, but it offers little to no comfort in this situation. His parents are already having a hard time with me and once they find out what I'm carrying, they might write me off forever. Hell, I still don't know if Christian is going to do the same. I might end up a single mom, living in a studio apartment, cutting every corner I can to make ends meat. The thought of being a mother scares the shit out of me. I blink away my tears before anyone notices and force my mind into the present as I listen to Christian and Ros go on about something in Detroit.

Gretchen, the maid, comes through with glasses of wine and Christian grabs us two and offers me one. Oh, shit. I just look down at his hand. What do I do?

"What's wrong, Ana? I thought you loved white wine?" Christian's eyebrows knit together and I hurry and take it before he gets suspicious.

"I do. Thank you." I give him a forced smile and he takes a sip, keeping his eyes on me. I put my lips around the rim and tip it back, faking a sip.

"Good?" He asks, grinning. He must have picked the wine for tonight.

I nod. "Delicious, babe."

He gives me a wink and takes another swig, before continuing his conversation with Ros. I see Kate in the corner alone with Elliot and I decide to grab her. I need support from someone. I squeeze Christian's arm to let him know I'm walking away and make my way towards her. I catch her eye halfway there and I nod subtly to the bathroom. She nods in understanding and hands Elliot her wine. I place mine on the bar and we meet in the hallway, where I link my arm with hers and shuffle us into the bathroom, closing it, and then locking it for good measure.

"Ana? What's going on?"

I ring my hands and begin to pace. "I've kind of got something to tell you..."

She watches me pace, regarding me intently. "Woah. This sounds serious...what are you...pregnant?"

I stop pacing and look at her, biting my lip.

"No! Ana! That was my joke guess!"

"SH!" I place my hand over her mouth. "Keep your voice down!"

I release her mouth and she just stares at me wide eyed. "There's no way. Are you sure?"

I nod. "I haven't been to the doctor or anything, but I took four pregnancy tests today. All positive."

"Get out! How did Christian respond?"

I give her a guilty look.

"You haven't told him, yet?"

I continue to wring my hands and chew my lip. "Well...it's his birthday. I didn't want to upset him."

"Oh, my god, Ana. He is going to freak."

I frown. I was afraid she'd say that. I feel my eyes start to fill with tears and Kate fans at my face with her hands.

"None of that!" She's right. The last thing I want is to look like a raccoon for dinner. She wraps me in a hug and squeezes me to her and I welcome the affection.

"What am I going to do, Kate?"

"Whatever you decide, I promise to support you 100%."

"What if Christian doesn't want anything to do with the baby?" The thought makes my heart ache.

Kate releases me, but takes my hands. "If you don't feel like you can do it by yourself...there's always other options." My eyes widen at her words. "Have you thought about those options if Christian decides to be a deadbeat?"

"Options?" My mind is on overload. I haven't even been able to wrap my head around the fact that Christian might walk away, let alone think about the options.

She nods. "Adoption...abortion..."

I wince. "I-"

There's a rap on the door. "Is everything okay in there?" It's Elliot.

Kate unlocks the door and Elliot opens it. "Dinner is about ready. What's going on in here?"

Kate smiles at him, but I can tell that it's forced. "Just a little girl talk. Lost track of time. We'll be in a sec."

Elliot looks back and forth between the two of us so I force a smile and a nod. When he disappears, Kate hugs me again. "We'll continue this later, k?"

She releases me and I follow her back into the sitting room, where Christian is waiting.

"Everything okay, baby?" He looks worried as he holds his hand out to me, but I give him a nod and a smile.

"Yep. Just some girl talk."

XxXxXx

During dinner, Kate sits next to me and, when no one is looking, she switches our glasses to make it look like I'm drinking. I'm thankful that there is also water goblets on the table or I would be dehydrated by the time I finished this dry chicken breast.

"Since Christian always refuses presents, we did as he requested and the family has donated $5,000 to Coping Together." Dr. Trevelyan announces and we all clap. "Now, it's time for Christian's favorite part of his birthday."

Christian beams and I find it adorable. "Your homemade chocolate cake?"

She smiles at him and leans down to kiss his cheek. "That's right, darling."

'Happy Birthday' is sung while Gretchen brings out a large, round chocolate cake with candles in it. It looks rich, but delicious. Dr. Trevelyan takes it from her and places it in front of Christian.

"Thank you, Mommy." He states, grinning at his cake.

She laughs and rolls her eyes, but she's smiling and I can tell how much she adores Christian's playfulness.

While we eat, everyone is smiling and laughing and I forget about the little thing growing in my stomach, until we're about to leave.

My stomach turns sour and I force my thoughts away from it for now. It's still his birthday and I don't want to ruin it.

On our way back to Escala, I realize I forgot my bag. "Christian...I wasn't aware that we were supposed to donate...I bought you a present...but it's in my bag I forgot at home. I'm sorry."

He smiles at me. "It's not a big deal. We'll stop by and grab your clothes. Taylor?"

Taylor nods from the front. "On my way to Miss Steele's now."

Christian pulls me closer to him and I can see his iron gray eyes darken. He nuzzles his nose with mine and I grin at him.

"Can't unwrap your present just yet, Mr. Grey."

He kisses my lips lightly. "How 'bout just a peek?" He wiggles his eyebrows.

"Hmm..." I pretend to think about it and he pounces on me, knocking my on my back against the seat, and starts to nip along my neck, making me squeal.

"I think my present is defective...it squeaks. Maybe I should take it back."

I laugh. "Sorry, no returns."

He pulls out of my neck and smiles down at me. "Thank fuck for that."

*Christian's POV*

"It won't take long, Christian. My bag is packed, I just have to grab it off my bed." Anastasia states as she slips the key into the lock of her apartment.

I'm not too concerned. It's still early and I have plenty of time to ravish her this weekend. "Mind if I take a piss?"

She rolls her eyes at my crassness. "You don't have to ask, Christian."

I give her a cheeky grin and pinch her ass on my way to the toilet. Not bothering to close the door, I relieve my bladder, giving my dick a few shakes before tucking it back into my pants, and proceed to wash my hands. As I'm drying my hands, my eyes wander down to her trash can and my whole body stills. I can feel my heart beating hard against my rib cage and I bend down to pick up the white stick. Holy fuck. This better be Kate's.

I make my way out with the offensive piece of plastic and hold it up. "What is this?"

She turns towards me and, by her body language, I can tell it isn't Kate's. She's gone pale, her eyes are wide as saucers and her arms begin to shake.

This isn't possible. We've used a condom every time. The thought makes me sick to my stomach.

"Who's the father?"

Her look turns from frightened to angry in a matter of a second. "How dare you! You think I cheated on you?"

"We used a condom every fucking time, Anastasia. If you haven't slept with anyone else, then how'd this happen? Have you been tampering with the condoms? Why the fuck would you do this?" I can feel my own anger radiating out of me. Rage is filling every pore in my body. There is no fucking way I'm going to let her manipulate me like this.

"Excuse me? Tampering? Tampering...you know what..." She begins to pace, her face beet red from anger, but I couldn't give a fuck. She points to her stomach. "THIS happened because of the reminder fuck you just had to give me in your parent's library! You've certainly done a fucking fantastic job at reminding me that I am yours! Especially since I'm carrying your child!"

No. No. This can't be. I rub my face with my free hand and squeeze my eyes shut, trying to remember that night. Fuck. I feel like the walls are closing in on me. I'm suddenly claustrophobic and I need to get out of here.

"I've...I've got to go." I stride out of her apartment without so much as a look back at her. I can't handle this.

Happy fucking birthday to me. How the fuck did this day go from the best birthday of my life to the worst in less than five minutes?

I run down the stairs, not willing to stand in the small elevator. I need fresh air. I run like hell out to the SUV and jump in before Taylor can even get his door open.

"Elliot's. Now." I bark at him, before running my hand over my face again. This isn't happening. This has to be a nightmare.

"Miss Steele?"

I growl out in frustration. "She isn't coming. Just go!"

I look down at the positive pregnancy test that I realize I've had in a death grip and try to make sense of it all. God must be playing some sick joke. He wants me to suffer. I knew what I had with Anastasia was too good to be true. I knew as soon as I fell in love with her that something would fuck it up. For fuck's sake. I haven't even told her, yet. This is fucking ridiculous. I can't be a father. I just can't. The child will end up being so fucked up. Fuck. The child is fucking everything up already.

Why can't I just enjoy a 'normal' life for awhile?

When we make it to Elliot's, Taylor opens my door and when I slide out, his eyes wander down to the stick in my hands. Don't say one fucking word.

"Stay." I tell him, hurrying up the pathway to Elliot's front door. I hit the doorbell over and over, hoping it'll make him open the door faster.

"Christian?" Elliot is confused by my presence and I see that Kate is standing next to him. "What are you doing here?"

"She's pregnant." I state, getting straight to the point, and hold up the test.

"Oh, fuck." He mumbles under his breath.

"You left her? You left her alone." Kate is angry at me. Fuck off. She grabs her things off the entryway table. "I've got to make sure she's okay." She pecks Elliot on the cheek, pushing me out of her way with her elbow as she steps out. We both watch her get into her Mercedes and drive away.

I hear Elliot sigh and turn to see him running his hand through his hair.

"What the fuck am I going to do?" I sound panicked, because I am.

"Well...I don't think running out on her was the best decision..." He mentions, opening his door further to let me in.

"I need liquor." I head straight downstairs and to the bar, pouring myself a double whiskey. For some reason, I find myself picking the stupid plastic stick back up.

I make my way back through the basement and see him standing in front of the couch, waiting for me. He points to the seat. "Sit."

I comply, my feet dragging me to the leather couch, and I plop down on it, careful not to spill a drop of the liquid gold I have in my hand. I take a deep swig from my tumbler and look down at positive test again. It isn't going to change, Grey, no matter how long you look at it. I shake it a little, as if it's going to change the result.

"Do you think you could put the pee stick down?"

I cock an eyebrow at him and look back down at it before tossing it onto the coffee table.

His nose wrinkles in disgust. "Uh...yea. Thanks for that." He shakes his head. "What happened?"

My head drops back against the back of the couch and I sigh. "I found it in her trashcan."

"You went through her trash?"

I lift my head and scowl at him. "No! I happened to see it laying on top. I asked her about it and we got into a fight."

"What'd you say?"

"I first asked who the father was-"

"Ouch!" Elliot hisses, but I ignore him.

"-Then I accused her of messing with the condoms."

"You realize you're an idiot?"

I roll my eyes. "I can't do this. I can't be a father. This kid is going to fuck everything up! I'm going to fuck this kid up!"

"And why do you think that?"

"Do you know me? I'm fucked up!"

Elliot snorts and rolls his eyes. "You're childhood was fucked up. That doesn't mean you are. If you don't get your head out of your ass and start thinking logically, this kid is going to end up having a fucked up childhood, too. Ana is great, but children need both parents. You honestly want your child growing up, thinking that you never wanted them? That they were never good enough for you? Knowing that you left their mother, because of them."

I frown at the thought. That's enough guilt to eat anyone alive, let alone a child.

"You're really going to let Ana raise it alone? Like your birth mother had to? Like her mother had to?"

Fuck. I know Ana's biggest worry was that she would turn into her mother and, because I'm a jackass, she might just end up there.

"What if the kid ends up like me?"

Elliot gives me a curious look. "Like you? What do you mean?"

"Angry, out of control, bitter. What if they-"

"They aren't going to end up doing what you did. You were taught at a very impressionable age that the lifestyle was the right one. You were abused. Neglected by your birth mother, beat by her pimp, and abused in every way possible by Elena. You've gone through hell and somehow made it out alive and relatively normal. You're protective, possessive, and assertive. Give your child the type of love and life that you wish you had. It's a blessing, dude. Embrace it."

Embrace it.

Can I?

"How would you feel about another man marrying Anastasia and raising your child?"

"They're mine." I growl out, surprising myself. The thought of another man in not only Ana's life, but in my child's life...my flesh and blood...makes me rageful.

Elliot grins. "Exactly."

"I need to apologize."

He nods and I down the rest of my drink, before standing and making my way towards the stairs.

"Hey, bro?"

I stop in my tracks and turn to look at him.

"Congratulations."

I smile. "Thanks."

On my way up, Kate comes through the door, confusing me. She looks even more upset than she did when she left and I feel panic rise in my chest.

"What's wrong, Kate?"

"Ana...she's not at home. She isn't answering her phone. I don't know where she is."

Ethan.

My rage overwhelms me and I stomp my way out to the SUV and put my hand up, halting Taylor's movement from the car. I let myself in and slam the door harder than needed.

"Ethan Kavanagh's. Now."

"Sir? Do you have an address?"

"No, I don't! Why don't you do your fucking job and look it up?!" I bark at him, before turning my head to look out the window. The Bieber fucker better not even think about touching her.

XxXxXx

I pound on the blonde fucker's door, yelling at him to open up. The door is pulled open and the asshole is standing there, looking dumbfounded. Don't play fucking innocent with me your dumb fuck.

I push past him, looking around the room.

"What the fuck, man?!"

"Where is she?"

"Who?" I hear the door shut behind me and I spin around to look at him.

"Ana!"

He shakes his head. "I haven't seen Stasia."

"You're lying...ANA!" I call out, heading towards the hall, where I begin to open doors. The asshole follows me.

"I'm not lying. She isn't here! Why the hell are you looking for her? Wasn't she with you tonight?"

I stop, seeing that the last bedroom is empty, and turn towards him. "She was. We had a fight and I left and now we can't find her."

His whole body tenses. "YOU LOST HER?"

"I didn't lose..." I growl in frustration. "She's just somewhere we haven't looked! She ran off somewhere. I thought she'd be here."

"Fuck this." He makes his way back down the hall and I follow, scowling. What the fuck does he think he's going to do?

He picks up his phone and puts it to his ear.

I shake my head. "Kate and I have been trying. She won't pick up."

"She'll pick up for me." He states, but I hear it go to voicemail. He pokes the disconnect button and redials her number. A small part of me is satisfied that she didn't pick up for the fucker. Not so cocky now, are you, asshole?

*Ana's POV*

I stare at the open door after Christian runs out like a bat out of hell. I feel pain overpowering my anger for him. Betrayal and sadness course through my heart and it's physically painful. I can feel my muscles starting to contract and tense and I take a seat on the futon.

Was I right all along? Should I have kept him at arms length? I let myself be vulnerable and I opened my heart to him just to have it and my pride stomped on like I always feared.

Does he think so little of me? He thinks I am some kind of gold digger. How can he even accuse me of such things? It feels like a knife through my heart. He doesn't know me at all.

I feel the walls closing in as sobs wrack through my body. My already small apartment seems even more small. I grab my keys and leave, locking the door on my way. I know I am in no condition to drive, but I get in the car anyway. Sitting here, I realize I have no idea where to go. I feel lost. I can call Kate, but I know she's with Elliot and I don't need their pity.

I drive for what feels like hours, but really, it's only about half an hour. I pull up outside the marina and get out, inhaling the fresh air into my aching lungs. It feels like every fiber of me is hurting. I walk through the marina, passing the big boats bobbing on the water, but I don't appreciate the beauty like I did before... like I did when Christian brought me here for our first date out. He took my virginity and my heart that night. It's also the first time he broke it. I don't know why I came here. Maybe I wanted to feel close to him? I wanted to remember how happy he made me feel that day.

I find a bench to sit on and pull my jacket closer. I should have kept him at an arms length. I should have never fell for his charming personality. I should have listened to my subconscious and continued to mind my own business and stay away from men. Should have. There are a lot of things I should have done. It won't do any good thinking in regret.

I have made a mess out of my life. I have become someone I don't recognize anymore. I have been naive and stupid and I realize I have, indeed, turned into my mother. That realization send chills down my body. I lost control of my emotions and I let a man and my loss of control lead me into a cluster fuck.

I put my hands on my belly and a strange emotion takes over me, making me tear up. There is a child inside me, a living being. It feels unreal. I think about the conversation with Kate and what she asked me about the options. I can't even think about abortion. I can't kill this defenseless baby; they are innocent in all of this. My heart clenches at the thought. The more reasonable one is adoption. It makes sense. Going by Christian's reaction, I know he won't want anything to do with the baby. I can find a nice couple, so the baby can have a happy, stable family.

But my heart hurts at the thought of giving my baby up for someone else to raise. I can't live like that; I would be miserable. It's my baby. Christian's baby. A baby Christian and I made. I don't care if he wants it. This child is more important than Christian...more important than our fucked up relationship. If he doesn't want the baby, then he doesn't want me. We're a packaged deal.

I wipe away my tears and sit straighter, determination and hope coursing through me. I may have become like my mother, but it's not too late. I've chosen my baby and I already love them with all my heart. I will try my best to give them the life and future they deserve. I don't need a man and I will never let another one play me like this. I cup my belly protectively. Mine.

"I love you, baby, and I promise I will be the best mother I can be to you." I whisper to my stomach, patting it gently. I've never been more sure of anything in my life. I walk with newfound confidence and determination towards my car. It's time for Anastasia Steele 2.0.