Cosette's breath caught. She began to shake a bit. She was back in a place she never thought she would ever have to be in again. Her Papa told her that she would never see the inn or Montfermeil again. When she would wake up in the middle of the night from a nightmare, it almost always had to do with the inn and the Thenardiers.
"Shhh, my child," he would whisper. "You are safe. I have you."
"Papa, I was there again; it was so scary! I was frightened you had left me!"
"I promised you that you would never see this place again when we walked hand in hand out of that town. I will promise you again you will never endure what you did ever again. You will never step foot in that town or be with those people again. You are safe now in my arms."
Those words echoed in her head. How could this Heaven put her in the place she had suffered the most. The place she hurt the most. The place she had no hope.
"Cosette?" Eponine asked again.
"Please, don't hurt me," Cosette said weakly. She felt she was a trembling child again. "Please 'Ponine, just let me be."
Eponine approached. Cosette backed away. She couldn't believe this was happening. Her breathing quickened. Panic was enveloping her, and her Papa wasn't there to reassure her. Marius wasn't there to protect her. Fantine had vanished. She was all alone once again, and it was a state she rarely was in since her Papa came for her, but it seemed that fear never really left.
Cosette kept backing up until she hit the large tree in the middle of the town square. Her knees were weak, and she sort of fell into a sitting position. She tried to get her breathing under control, it would not do to look like a sniveling child, but she couldn't gather herself at that moment. It was all rushing back, the fear, the cold, the hunger, and the utter helplessness. She knew she had strength, but it had deserted her at this moment.
"Cosette, please listen to me," Eponine said. She had not advanced noticing Cosette's fear.
Cosette gathered her courage and looked up.
"I know you're scared. I don't know how much of this fear is the memories, seeing this place again, or me, but I can assure you that you are safe here. It is just you and me, and I promise until you say so, I will stay back," Eponine said.
Cosette considered her words. If Eponine kept her distance and it really was just the two of them, what would be the problem? Madame wouldn't burst into the courtyard and yell at her, and she was an adult now, even a spirit, it seemed. Why shouldn't she feel safe? Her Papa even told her once that she was "the bravest girl," and she felt a little stronger with his words.
"All right," Cosette said. She did not rise, but she sat up straighter. She hoped she didn't look as scared, but even with her own encouragement and her Papa's words, the panic lingered.
"Mind if I sit as well?" Eponine asked.
Cosette nodded.
Eponine sat down, and she began to pick dandelions. "Do you remember when you first came here?"
Cosette nodded slowly.
"I was making a flower crown for Azelma, and when Mother began speaking to your mother, you came over to us. I thought you were quite fancy in your little blue dress; I thought you looked like a little princess. You see, even then, we were quite poor, but Father did a better job at hiding it in those days. When I finished the crown, I put it on your head and not Azelma's."
"Yes, I remember that now."
"I must admit I am not entirely sure why I am in your afterlife. You weren't in mine, but perhaps it is because I died first, and you only get to see those before you, who knows."
"When did you die?" Cosette asked. She had not considered that Eponine would be dead; she always imagined her as either a child or very briefly as she frightened those men away when she had secret meetings with Marius.
"I died during the rebellions," Eponine said plainly. "Didn't Marius tell you?"
"What? No, I had no idea. I always imagined you were out there somewhere with your own family or whatever you were doing."
"Did you ever think about me? After that man came for you, did I or Azelma ever linger somewhere in your thoughts?" Eponine asked without any malice or hatred in her voice.
"I suppose you arose in my dreams sometimes, but as I got older, I tried to forget this place, and by consequence, I suppose you and Azelma faded from my memory," Cosette admitted.
"But you expressed such fear when you first saw me; surely my existence wasn't wholly good," Eponine prompted.
"What do you want with me?" Cosette asked suddenly. "Do you mean to dredge up horrid memories?"
"I'm kind of supposed to do that. I don't want to be here helping you move on, but alas, it is seemingly Eponine to the rescue once again." Eponine said the last part under her breath.
"And what do you mean by that?"
"You really don't know how often our lives intersected," Eponine said shortly.
"How could I have? It would seem every single person in my life seemingly kept important information from me or neglected to mention you," Cosette snapped. "And to be truthful, when did our paths cross more than twice, once when I lived with your family and when you screamed to scare those men? I hardly think I owe you anything for 'rescuing' me."
"Marius would be dead if I hadn't taken the bullet aimed at him."
"What do you mean? Marius got shot, I saw the wound, I cared for him whilst it healed, he still has the scar."
"Yes, he may have been shot that final day, but what I mean was the shot aimed directly at him straight for his heart that happened a few days before. He was shot in his side, which, while painful, is far less dangerous than the one I took for him."
Cosette was a little in shock. She had truly thought Marius had told her everything after he had hidden her Papa's leaving. She had to know to the extent of their interconnected lives. "What other times did our paths cross?"
"Early on, Marius saw you in theLuxembourg Gardens; he wanted to know where you lived. Through one of my father's schemes, I had learned of your whereabouts and, I must admit, begrudgingly showed him your home."
Cosette nodded. She had found it strange the man from the gardens and found her so quickly. She remembered her Papa leading her through the back allies of Paris. He claimed he wanted to hand out alms to some of the side streets, but something about his quickstep and few words had made her suspect that he was trying to hide.
"And then, at the barricades, Marius wanted to get you a letter professing his love, I don't doubt, and he asked me to deliver it. I was meant to hand it to you, but the man who rescued you answered the door. He assured me you would know of what was in the letter. I tried to protest, but he gave me a tip and quickly closed the door," Eponine said.
"Papa never told me of any of this. Not even in his final confession, he said nothing. I never knew how he knew of Marius or that I ever had feelings for him. Perhaps I foolishly thought Papa was some sort of mind reader and just knew," Cosette let out a soft laugh.
"Perhaps your Papa never knew I was the one, all of those times. I like to think I made a pretty good boy, and he never suspected," she mused.
"I suppose he wasn't looking too deeply at you or anyone besides the man chasing him," Cosette sighed. Her Papa could be quite blind to the world when he suspected danger. His mind would ignore everything, and his eyes would dart wildly, and when he did not see what he suspected, everything was forgotten.
"But yes, those are the biggest times our paths crossed. When you were in the gardens or giving out coins or bread to the poor, I often saw you with the man. You looked so happy; you seemed like the princess I thought you were all those years ago."
Cosette considered Eponine's words.
"Cosette, listen to me, have I ever done you wrong of my own will? I will freely admit that I was cruel to you when we were children. I did some really awful things that, as I grew up, I thought about and deeply regretted. So, I apologize for the hurt I caused."
She thought back on her life and realized that her nightmares were nothing more than dark figments of her imagination. Yes, Eponine's parents were wretched, but Eponine? Eponine had never done her any real harm; it was all her parent's cruelty. Eponine was but a child herself when Cosette was a child. Sure, Eponine had teased her and laughed at her suffering, but she was doing it because her mother encouraged her and showed her that was correct behavior. Eponine received love and affection when she was cruel to Cosette. What child wouldn't want to please their parents? Years of living with her Papa taught her that one's actions are a reflection of their surroundings. Of course, this explained Eponine's actions but did not excuse them. But Eponine had apologized.
"I'm sorry for snapping at you. You're right; you have done me no harm," Cosette said.
"I know Azelma, and I weren't nice to you, but honestly, mother wasn't nice to us before you came, and when you arrived, it was nice not to have her anger directed at us. You did not deserve any of our cruelty. You should have been looked after better, and I am so sorry I did nothing," Eponine looked down, ashamed.
Cosette scooted closer to Eponine. Eponine flinched and looked up. "You were a child. What could you have done? Your mother was cruel to all who met her, and I am just so sorry we had to be anywhere near her. Eponine, I forgive you. I can see you played a much bigger role in my life, and I thank you for everything you have done for Marius and me."
Eponine sighed. "Hopefully, when Marius passes, I can give him a good talking to before he sees you. I mean, I take a bullet for him, and he says nothing?" She let out a small laugh.
"Yes, I will have harsh words for Marius as well. He promised me no more secrets, and here we are."
"Do you feel as though you have reached some clarity?" Eponine asked.
"Yes. I admit you gave me quite a fright when I first saw you. And I apologize for that. I should have known; you being here was no accident. Papa taught me better than to misjudge, and I misjudged you right off," she said, looking down in shame.
"I would have done the same. Can we call us even, slate clean?"
"Yes. I am sorry we could not be like sisters or friends in life, but perhaps now?"
Eponine nodded. "Friends. And I have no idea how long this after-life goes on for, but I have gone back and forth between people, and they have always been there when I returned, so no doubt I shall see you again."
Cosette began to hear a light humming, and she felt herself fade. But before Eponine was gone from sight, she called out, "Thank you, Eponine, for everything you have done."
She thought she saw Eponine smile.
Soon Cosette was standing in the first place she called home. It was the Gorbeau House. The first place Papa took her before they entered the convent. They had not been there long, but it was the first place she knew she would always be warm and always have food on the table.
She raced into the kitchen and saw him, his back to her. Without warning, she ran to him and grasped him around his waist. He smelled the same, and she felt his strong body tense before relaxing as it did in life.
"Cosette! You musn't surprise an old man!" he said good-naturedly. He turned around, the potato he had been scrubbing dropped into the sink.
"Papa!" she cried, tears now streaming down.
"Cosette, my Cosette!" Valjean said tears in his own eyes as he kissed her hair.
