The Seer and the Grim

by chemistrygoddess

Lexie spent her childhood feeling unwanted until she learns she is a witch and is sent to Hogwarts. For the first time she is accepted by a group of four boys but as each year progresses, she learns more about herself and her past until it comes crumbling down. Slow burn. Trigger warning: abuse, self harm, adult content, and language. Formerly: Crazy People Are People Too

2. To Hogwarts!

Chapter 2: To Hogwarts!

Lexie stared at the wall between platforms 9 and 10 dubiously, convinced now that the last month had been a dream.

Two mornings after meeting Professor Dumbledore, Lexie woke up to a trunk at the end of her bed containing all the books on the supply list she had received from a very stern looking owl along with a note telling he would be bringing her to a place called Diagon Alley to pick up some additional things. Lexie wasn't used to being handed things and the fact that this man was spending a great deal of money on her was slightly unnerving. Meeting Dumbledore had been surreal; trailing along his side through the place called Diagon Alley was mind-boggling.

Lexie couldn't help staring at everything in sight once Dumbledore had uncomfortably brought her here by grabbing her arm which resulted in a very strange squeezing sensation, almost as if she had been squished through a tube. She tried to take every little thing in and felt like she had entered a dream world, terrified that at any second she would wake up.

Dumbledore brought her to a place called Madam Malkin's where every inch of her was measured and she was given black robes and then Dumbledore brought her to a strange little shop called Ollivanders where a creaky old man made her feel utterly ridiculous by having her wave around sticks until one of them shot a shower of purple sparks. Dumbledore then proceeded to pay for said stick with what appeared to be quite a bit of money. No wait, it's called a wand Lexie mentally corrected herself as they left.

Walking back into the alley Dumbledore asked her if she wanted an owl so she could send off letters. Feeling like he had spent enough money already on her and not wanting to admit she was quite afraid of birds, she politely declined and told him that she didn't have anyone to write to anyways.

He treated her to an ice cream despite her objections and then took hold of her arm like he had done before as Lexie felt the similar sensation of being pulled through a tube. She had been returned to Mrs. Tobias and the orphanage where he left her reminding her once again to be at King's Cross in time to catch the train that would take her to Hogwarts on the first of September. Then Dumbledore left, leaving Lexie with a pile of strange school "supplies" and an expression on her face that suggested she was seriously questioning her sanity.

Before Dumbledore had vanished in front of her, Lexie had been too overwhelmed to say much and now staring at the blank wall she felt like she should have at least asked him where platform 9 3/4 was and was now convinced this was just a cruel joke. Shaking her head at how foolish she had been to believe all this, she decided to just go back to the orphanage and explain to Mrs. Tobias that it was all fake and she had been played.

Lexie grabbed the trunk that had been given to her and determined to make a quick exit, spun around not noticing the boy behind her as she smacked right into him causing her to emit a soft "Oof" as she fell to the ground.

"Ouch, oh bugger" she mumbled when she noticed her trunk had somehow cracked open spilling some of the books that were tucked inside.

"I'm so sorry, my fault really, I shouldn't have been standing so close to you. I thought you were just about to step onto the platform and didn't expect you to turn around, I'm sorry," said a thin boy with golden brown hair.

Lexie grumbled when she felt blood dripping down her hand and saw that in her fall she had scraped her palm, "Nah, it's okay," she said wiping her palm on her jeans, "I shouldn't have turned around so fast or I would have seen you."

Lexie pulled herself up and reached over to her trunk where she shoved her books back in and closed it. She looked at the boy more closely and noticed he was only a little taller than she was, but more shocking was that he had a few faded scars on his face, they didn't disfigure his features in any way, but they were noticeable. Kind of like me Lexie thought of the scar on her chin and the one that trailed along her hairline. The boy seemed to notice the scar along her hairline as well as she was sure he had quickly traced it with his eyes.

Not wanting to talk about it, Lexie did what she did best when trying to hide her past and filled her voice with mock cheeriness while sticking out her hand, "Lexie Hall, nice bumping into you, whoever you are."

The boy gave her a small smile and took her hand, "Remus Lupin, sorry again for that. I uh, wasn't really expecting you to turn around. Sorry again."

Lexie waved it off and noticed for the first time a man with graying hair standing behind the boy watching the whole ordeal with a small smile on his face, the exact same smile she had just seen the boy named Remus give her. Lexie knew this must be the boy's father.

"Remus it might be best for us to make our way onto the platform, don't want to be missing the train" the man said.

"Oh yeah," Remus looked at Lexie's trunk one more time before asking, "So um, you're a student at Hogwarts too then? I noticed your copy of Standard Book of Spells when you put it back in your trunk,"

Lexie stared at him for a second realizing this boy had just mentioned the same school name as Professor Dumbledore and felt immediate relief, at least she wasn't completely crazy. Unless Remus was a figment of her imagination. No he couldn't be, the stinging from her scraped palm told her that. "So it is real then?" she asked in a timid voice.

Remus frowned a little, "I'm not sure I understand the question?"

Lexie smiled, "I really thought I had been pranked or something, thought it was a big hoax. So this Hogwarts place is urm, it exists right?"

Remus laughed and Lexie began to feel better, his laugh was gentle but she could tell it was completely genuine, "Yeah it's real. That explains why you were just sort of staring at the gate."

Lexie smiled, "Well yeah. I still have no idea where platform 9 3/4 is. I mean I figured it's got to be here somewhere cause this is between platforms 9 and 10 so it made sense… well at the time. So does that mean you know where it is?"

Remus smiled "Well you found it on your own actually, it is right here. You just walk through, see," he pointed back to the wall and Lexie saw a family walk right towards the wall before disappearing. Lexie blinked, not quite sure what she had just witnessed. She turned and gaped at Remus, "How did- how did they do that? How did you know they were going to do that?"

Remus laughed again and turned back towards his father, "My dad went to Hogwarts and told me, come on, I'll show you."

Remus' father smiled at Lexie, "Mr. Lupin, it's nice to meet you." Lexie shook his hand and turned back to Remus who had stuck her trunk on top of the trolley that he was using for his own. Remus gently led her by the elbow towards the wall, his father following behind them. Remus smiled at her "Just walk right towards the wall like you saw, I'll come with you."

Lexie was doubtful, she was convinced that she had lost her mind entirely and expected them to hit right into the wall. Lexie closed her eyes right as they reached the wall, "Well here goes nothing," she mumbled and right as she expected to crack her head into the very solid looking bricks, she felt nothing.

Lexie opened her eyes and gasped, in front of her families were gathered hugging and shouting farewells, teenagers running around pushing trolleys, and behind it all was the most magnificent steam engine she had ever laid eyes on. Lexie had only been on a train a couple of times and none of them were like this.

Lexie gaped at the scene in front of her vaguely aware the Remus was looking at her expression with a smile on his face, "I'm beginning to think this magic thing is actually real," she breathed.

Remus laughed, "Well of course it is, come on."

Remus and Mr. Lupin were able to load the trunks onto the train and Mr. Lupin turned around to wish Remus goodbye. Lexie, suddenly feeling misplaced, told him that she would go find some seats. She offered Mr. Lupin a brief goodbye and made her way onto the train. It didn't take long for her to find an empty compartment. The majority of the students were still on the platform with their families.

Lexie felt a wave of sadness and longing, she wished that she had a family who would hug her goodbye on the platform, telling her to have a good year. Lexie sighed and scolded herself for feeling sad, she was finally getting away from the orphanage and away from a place filled with painful memories, she should be happy.

As Lexie was trying to cheer herself up the compartment door slid open and two boys popped their heads in, she thought they might have been brothers since they both had dark hair, but that was the only real similarity. Lexie studied the boy with glasses first, his hair stuck up all over, he looked a little familiar, maybe she had seen him on the platform earlier.

Lexie took one look at the other boy though and knew exactly where she had seen him, this was the dark-haired boy she had seen in her dreams so many times. Lexie gaped at the two of them, she must have seen the other boy a couple of times in her dreams as well, but he wasn't as familiar.

Lexie took in every detail, his sleek black hair, stormy grey eyes, lanky figure – this was definitely the same boy. Lexie was still gaping openly at the two boys when the messy haired one asked, "Is anyone else sitting in here? We don't really fancy sitting with the greasy haired git at the back of the train and there's nowhere else."

Still not recovered from recognizing the grey-eyed boy for the first time, Lexie only registered the last half of what the messy haired boy had asked. Glancing at the boy who had spoken to her Lexie asked, "Sorry, Wha-what was that?" He just smiled at her, "Are these seats taken?"

They wanted to sit here? Lexie thought frantically, with her? Trying not to look back at the still quiet grey-eyed boy Lexie thought about Remus, she had told him she would get him a seat. "J-Just one of them, the rest are free."

"Brilliant" he answered before plopping himself into the seat next to Lexie while the still, very silent boy took the one across from her. "I'm James by the way, James Potter" said the boy next to her holding out his hand to shake.

Lexie took his outstretched hand trying to mimic his manners, "Um, Lexie Hall." Feeling like she could wait any longer for the other boy to speak Lexie turned to him, "And you are?"

The grey-eyed boy looked at her a little uneasily, for whatever reason Lexie wasn't too sure, and said in a soft voice, "Sirius Black."

Lexie nodded, an unusual name that was, Sirius. She remembered Mrs. Tobias telling her stories about the Dog Star and the Egyptian god Osiris, Mrs. Tobias would probably approve of this boy from his name alone.

Lexie laughed at the thought causing both James and Sirius to look at her. For some reason being in the company of these two boys made her want to know more about them and she found herself saying more than she had in years, especially to strangers. They made her feel at ease, something she wasn't used to. "You're named after a star then? Well can't be worse than me, I'm named after a city. Kind of ostentatious don't you think?"

Sirius appeared to relax a little, glad that this girl was no longer gaping at him like he had some sort of disease, "I don't know any cities named Lexie, where is that?"

Lexie scrunched up her nose in disgust, "Not Lexie, Alexandria" she said in a voice meant to impersonate Mrs. Tobias. "Alexandria like the city in Egypt. I try to avoid being called that as much as possible, Mrs. Tobias is the only one who still calls me that. The women is obsessed with Egypt. She'd probably worship you for your name alone. I swear she's gone batty in her old age. Hasn't even been there and she's nuts about the place, talking about gods and queens and tombs, kind of ridiculous."

Lexie wasn't sure what made her keep on talking and she couldn't believe she had just rambled about such a pointless topic, as if these boys really cared, but was reassured when they both laughed. Sirius she noticed had a distinctly bark-like laugh.

"Well I'm not entirely against being worshipped, how old is this woman? Mrs. Tobias did you say?"

Lexie laughed, "Yeah. Trust me though, you wouldn't want her following you around trying to woo you - gray hair, never laughs, love to yell at you for having fun. Not really someone you want tailing you all day long. I mean she's nice enough, but I sure wouldn't want her fancying me. I try to avoid her as much as possible, but I dunno, you two might look nice together, should I set you up?" Lexie taunted.

Sirius looked terrified at the though of being "set up" with the woman she had just described while James and Lexie laughed. Just then the compartment door slid open and Remus looked in and hesitated by the door, almost wondering if he was welcome.

"Oh hey Remus, I was wondering where you got to, have a seat." Remus paused, "Um, I don't want to intrude, you look like you were having a good laugh."

Lexie found his behavior a bit odd, he wasn't nearly this shy when she bumped into him earlier, "Don't be silly Remus, you can come have a laugh with us too. Oh, this is James and Sirius by the way. I was just offering to set Sirius up on a date, don't think he liked that idea too much."

James started laughing again as the horrified expression retuned to Sirius' face. Remus timidly took the last seat next to Sirius and across from James. "So uh, who was who again?" he asked.

Sirius appeared to have recovered and stuck his hand out to Remus, "Sirius Black, and that git over there is James Potter. Ran into him in the corridor and we figured it might be best to stick together to find seats. So you know Lexie then?"

Remus took his hand, "Uh yeah, accidentally bumped into her outside the platform. Sorry again Lexie."

Lexie shook her head smiling holding up her hand that was no longer bleeding, "No harm done. Plus, without you I was about to turn right back around and leave. I was convinced I had been scammed by a crazy old man telling me about a school of magic so please stop apologizing." Lexie said.

"So you're muggle born then?" asked James. Lexie frowned at him, muggle did he say? What was that?

"Uhm, no idea what you just called me, muggle what?"

James smiled at her kindly, "Muggle, non magical. So your parents aren't magic then?"

"Oh" Lexie suddenly felt very uncomfortable and looked down when she heard James mention her parents, "Uhm, er, no. At least I don't think…"

Sirius was looking at her curiously while James just plowed forward with his questions, "What do you mean you don't know? Did they never tell you?" he laughed.

Lexie was definitely feeling uncomfortable and really didn't want to talk about her parents anymore than necessary, if she could even call them that, they had after all abandoned her. "I uh, don't really know them. I've been raised by Mrs. Tobias most of my life."

Sirius seemed to understand right away that she was trying to avoid the subject and looked down almost embarrassed for her and Remus gave her a small smile, James wasn't so quick and after a few seconds he looked ashamed, "Oh, uh sorry" he mumbled.

Lexie forced a small smile on her face, the compartment had become very awkward very quickly. Lexie was used to the quiet, but for some reason it unnerved her this time. Deciding it was her fault she was determined to fix it, "So uh, what do you know about this place? Hogwarts, strange name that is don't you think?"

James smiled at her subject change, glad she wasn't too upset, "Mum and Dad told me a lot about it. Don't really know where the name came from, mum tried to get me to read Hogwarts a History before I came here, don't know why she thought I'd want to spend my summer reading a book when I'd rather play Quidditch. I know they were both Gryffindors, pretty sure I'll be one too, the sorting hat tends to take family into consideration, not always, but often enough I've heard."

Lexie shook her head as if she was trying to get water out of her ears, she hadn't understood at least half of what had just come out of his mouth. Sirius was watching her and laughed, "James I think you just confused the poor girl even more."

James looked sheepish, "Ah, sorry, got carried away, forgot you uh, don't know anything about the magical world and all."

"Quidditch?" Lexie asked deciding to try and understand what the boy had just said.

James beamed at her, "Greatest sport there ever was! It's played on broomsticks and there are four kinds of balls…" with that James went into a detailed explanation of how the game was played and the positions. Lexie had never been particularly into sports, but this one sounded fascinating, just the fact that it took place up in the air made her want to try it.

"Wow" she breathed when he had finished, "That's amazing. I never thought you had your own sport and everything. I can't wait to try flying, sounds like fun."

James brightened, "I can teach you if you want. First years aren't allowed their own brooms, but we might be able to use the school brooms or something."

"Thanks James" she smiled, looking at Remus and Sirius she asked, "Do you two want to learn how to fly with us too? It sounds like a blast."

Sirius smiled, "I've flown before, my uh family is also magic like James, but maybe I'll help you learn. I'm always up for flying. What about you Remus, you in?"

Remus looked a little intimidated about being addressed directly, "Uh, well I've flown once or twice when my dad took me up with him. I uh prefer being on the ground to be honest, but maybe it will be useful one day to know how. Sure."

"Brilliant!" said Lexie as the boys smiled, her enthusiasm contagious. "So you also mentioned houses, what are those? Dumbledore never said anything about that, course he didn't even tell me how to get onto the platform so I'm not too surprised."

"You met Dumbledore?" James asked excited, "I just got a boring letter, what was he like? I heard he's brilliant."

Lexie laughed, "Well I don't know about the brilliant part so much, thought he was absolutely barking mad when I first met him to tell you the truth." The boys laughed at that and she continued, "Of course I probably would have thought anyone telling me about magic and witches was off their rocker. He was nice enough though, didn't seem to mind when I was completely confused by everything. So back to the houses, what are they?"

James seemed to have taken it upon himself to answer all of Lexie's questions while Sirius and Remus just listened, "Well there's four of them – Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and Slytherin. You're sorted by your personal traits I guess you'd say, bravery, intelligence, loyalty, stuff like that. Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, and Ravenclaw are all good options, well I wouldn't personally want to be in Hufflepuff, but they're not bad. Not so sure about Slytherin, I've heard a lot of nasty stuff about that one from mom and dad."

As James said this Lexie had noticed Sirius looked down embarrassed and she saw his fists clench briefly, "You okay Sirius, you look kind of upset?"

Sirius looked up in shock at being noticed for his behavior, "My whole family's Slytherin, it'll be a miracle if I'm not sent there." He said bitterly his statement causing James to look down ashamed he had brought it up.

Sirius noticed the other boy's demeanor drop and added "James is right though, they're kind of a shifty lot. Don't reckon I can be friends with you all if I'm sent there, they uh, don't exactly embrace the other houses or their ideals."

Lexie wasn't sure why the Slytherin house was so bad since she didn't know anything about it until now, but the sad look on Sirius' face caused her to gently grab his hand. He looked at her surprised, "I'd still be your friend Sirius, even if they didn't like it. I mean that's stupid not being friends because of some house. Cheer up, you could be put somewhere else, I mean maybe it doesn't matter your whole family was there before. Heck, I have just as much chance being Slytherin as you."

Sirius smiled knowing someone like Lexie would never be put in Slytherin, but didn't say so. She had just cheered him up considerably and he was grateful for her faith in him, even if he wasn't so sure of it himself. "Thanks Lexie, that means a lot."

Lexie turned back to James remembering something about sorting, "How do they choose? I mean how do they decide where you go?"

James' smile returned to his face, "I begged dad to tell me, mum wouldn't budge, told me I should wait like everyone else. Dad told me when she wasn't looking though" he grinned. "I guess all you have to do is stick an old hat on your head and it shouts out the name of the house. Not sure I believe him or not, then again it's better than the rumor I heard before getting on the train about having to tackle some trolls or fulfill some sort of quest."

Lexie was looking at James like he was crazy, "A hat tells you? Uhm, I'm pretty sure your dad was making that up as a joke. Hats don't talk."

James just shrugged. Sirius had heard from his cousin Andromeda about a hat as well though and added, "I heard it was a hat too from my cousin. Guess we'll find out soon enough if they were just making it up."

Just then the compartment door slid open revealing a plump women "Anything from the trolley dears?"

Having no money to pay for anything Lexie just shook her head. The boys on the other hand had dug into their pockets pulling out the same heavy coins Lexie had seen Dumbledore use and asked for sweets Lexie had never heard of. Of course she rarely found enough loose change to buy candy so she thought nothing of it.

Once the boys arms were laden down with sweets they sat back down and began to sort through it all, Lexie watched them and was jealous that she didn't have any change to buy anything. Sirius had seen the yearning look on her face and asked after swallowing a mouthful of chocolate, "Want some Lexie?"

Lexie looked up shocked and ashamed she had been caught eyeing the candy, "Urm no it's uh okay, I wouldn't want to take away any of your sweets."

"Don't be silly, I've got loads."

"Me too Lexie" and "Yeah, you can have some of mine" came from James and Remus who had also noticed that she had nothing to eat. All three boys shoved some into her lap before she could object and embarrassed at being their charity case she mumbled a soft "Thank you."

"No problem" they all chorused back and went back to eating as if nothing unusual had happened.

Lexie picked up one of the packages and frowned "Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans" it read. Curious she tore open the top and picked out a green bean from the top and popped it into her mouth. "Ughh" she shuddered, "These are repulsive."

Sirius laughed, "What flavor did you get?"

"Tasted like lima beans. Here you can have these back, don't think I want them anymore."

The boys laughed, "But half the fun is eating them," said James, "You get some good ones occasionally. Just watch out for anything brown or an off shade of yellow, trust me on that."

Lexie shuddered and could only imagine the awful flavors those might be. She cautiously picked up a deep red one and popped it in her mouth, "Oh gross. Kidney pie. There is no way I am eating any more of these things."

The boys laughed again, "Give them here," said Remus, "I'll find you one that isn't so vile."

Lexie handed him the pack without second thought, she was more than happy to be rid of the things. Remus sifted through a couple and handed her one, "Here, this one will at least get rid of the foul taste that's probably in your mouth."

Lexie stared at the white bean speckled with pink wondering if she scrutinized it enough it would reveal its flavor to her. Remus laughed "Trust me Lexie, this one won't be bad. If it is, I'll eat this nasty mustard colored one."

Lexie held out her hand to him, "Deal" and he smiled and shook on it. Lexie popped the bean in her mouth and smiled, raspberry custard. "Thanks Remus, guess you won't have to eat that one after all."

James and Sirius, realizing just how new Lexie was to everything in the wizarding world, took it upon themselves to make sure she had tried a little of everything.

"Here have a liquorice wand," James said and at the same time Sirius had shoved a Cauldron Cake in her hand.

Lexie laughed, it was nice to have friends for once and not have to worry about hiding the truth from them. During the time Lexie had lived with Celine, the woman she referred to more as Satan than her actual name, she had been too afraid that the abuse she suffered would be discovered and never bothered making any friends. She spent more time trying to hide in the shadows unnoticed.

Watching Sirius and James arguing over what she should try next while Remus sat in the corner munching a bar of chocolate and watching the scene with amusement filled Lexie with such a sense of happiness and she found herself laughing more than she had for her entire life.

Entirely too soon the students were advised to put on their robes. The boys left for the loo and told Lexie she could use the compartment to change.

Lexie pulled out her black school robes and stared at them, this was not really her preferred attire. She slipped them on anyways wondering if she could get out of wearing them. Probably best not to go against the system she figured, especially since Dumbledore had bought everything for her. The boys returned also wearing their robes and Sirius seemed to have noticed Lexie's slightly disgruntled expression, "You okay Lexie? You look a little less cheerful than how we left you."

Lexie grimaced, "It's these robes, I just don't think they're very 'me' if you catch my drift. Does everyone really have to wear them?"

Sirius laughed while the other two smiled, "Well I don't reckon anyone has ever not worn them, it's just part of being a witch or a wizard. I'm sure you'll get used to them in no time, change is good."

"Not always," grumbled Lexie thinking about the last few years leading up to Hogwarts. Sirius detected the extra bitterness in her voice but decided not to say anything, she already looked out of her comfort zone and he didn't want to bring any more attention to that than necessary.

The train had pulled to a stop and students began fighting their way out of their compartments and through the narrow aisles. Lexie hung back with the boys and when the chaos had considerably lessened, they made their way onto the platform.

"Firs' years over here" boomed a voice over the crowd and Lexie turned towards the voice only to stop in her tracks and stare at the biggest and wildest looking man she had ever seen. He was at least four times her height, probably more, and his face was covered in a thick beard, his hair wild.

Lexie was herded forward with all the other first years when they were piled into boats and pushed out into a giant lake. For a little while only the glow of the lanterns could be seen until they turned and Lexie gazed on the most magnificent thing she had ever seen. Her mouth dropped open in absolutely awe of the giant castle, its windows lit and silhouetted against the dark sky.

Lexie felt someone's breath on the side of her face and hear Sirius whisper in her ear, "So have you decided whether it's worth wearing robes every day?"

Lexie turned towards him, her mouth forming a giant grin. Sirius smiled back.

Lexie thought her life had gotten better when Dumbledore had showed up, now she actually believed it. This was going to be her home for the next seven years, she could feel it. Things were definitely changing for good this time.