AN: So, just as with many things in fanfiction, when it comes to Rick I'm taking some liberties and kind of writing my own story. I don't know if these will be shown differently in the manga but this is how I wanted to portray it. I really hope that you enjoy it.

Chapter Twenty Four – I Love You, Bro

Fight or flight.

Those were the two words which were spinning around with each other inside of Kuon's head. He didn't know quite what to do as he looked at the woman that he recognized. This woman loved her son as much as Julie loved him and he had been the cause of death for her son. He moved awkwardly as he tried not to make a sound.

When he had first met this woman, he had been a young teen who had only started having troubles in the world, well outside his family's unintended neglect. He had been bright eyed, fresh faced, and full of wonder in the world. He had been someone who had gone out to buy chicken nuggets so as to not kill an actual real life chicken.

And then as the path before him got overcast with shadows and he felt that all the oxygen was depleting from his lungs and the walls closing in around him, this woman had seen him become troubled and dark and had worried about him. Maybe if she hadn't given a damn about him then Rick wouldn't have given a damn about him either and if that was the case then Rick would still be alive.

Kuon wanted to run from her. He didn't know how to apologize to her, he didn't know what to do and he felt as if he was a fifteen-year-old kid again. He had been such a foolish person when he was a child and he hated that the darkness that had manifested inside of him was responsible for the death of his best friend. He moved backwards but as he stepped on a twig, he saw the woman get alerted to him and he shivered, looking terrified at her.

"Hey," the woman looked at him before bowing her head, "You wanted to see him too."

Kuon was usually amazing at detecting the emotions behind something a person may have said but this time his brain was still in a daze. Was she angry with him? Was she about to launch into a speech of why he wasn't a good person and why he had no right to look at Rick's grave? Was she about to storm up to the director and get him fired? Kuon took deep breaths in, not realizing the absolute terror on his face.

"I'm sorry, I have the right person, right?" she asked and Kuon nodded weakly before looking at the ground.

"I am so sorry," he whispered as the pain seemed to be making an attempt to suffocate him. "If I - If I hadn't…I am so sorry for your loss. I can never apologize enough to either you or him, I am responsible for what happened to him."

"And you don't seem to have forgiven yourself for it," the woman said and Kuon uneasily shifted.

"I can't forgive myself for it. Rick had a bright shining life ahead of him, he had Tina, he was going to do great things and I ruined it. I would give anything to bring him back. I can never apologiz-"

"Rick had his own problems, Kuon," the woman said and the actor paused. She looked at him with a heartbroken smile, "You're right. If it wasn't for you, Rick might not have been out there that night but that doesn't mean that you're responsible for his death. Rick had good judgment in people but he had his own emotional baggage." She sighed, "Are you sure that when you think of him you're really thinking of him?"

Kuon took a quick breath as he looked at her and then stared down, "I just know that it's my fault for what happened. Rick taught me everything that I knew I could rely on. He -"

"Kuon, as much as I hate to say it but you might be idealizing Rick when you think of him. Didn't he tell you to kill a chicken and then eat it to avoid being chicken or something…I overheard you two talking about it once," she said and Kuon looked down.

"Yes, but that was just metaphorical, Rick didn't actually want me to -" Kuon tried to argue.

"He and his father used to hunt game animal, it was one of the reasons why we got divorced, I couldn't stand seeing the types of animals they would bring in after a hunt but it was his father's attitude that led to him thinking things like killing chickens was just an everyday occurrence," she said before wiping away a tear. "I love my son, I wish he was here, but he wasn't perfect. When he died, he was trying to make up for getting you into those situations and he felt guilty that he hadn't spoken to your dad about how you were hurting."

Kuon shifted in his posture again, "That wasn't Rick's responsibility," he argued and the woman nodded.

"I agree but I know your father, when he's really caught up in his work, he's blind to everything else. He blames himself for not seeing it and I should have spoken to him too. Maybe if we had been able to guide you in a different direction then maybe things wouldn't turn out like they have." Rick's mother took a shaky breath in and dabbed some tears from her eyes, "Kuon, do you remember when you first came to our house when you were either twelve or thirteen and when we had finished dinner, Rick wanted to just shove everything in the sink but you washed the dishes and said that you felt it was your duty as a guest?"

Kuon nodded and looked at the woman with a sigh, "No matter how many dishes I wash, it won't bring him back."

"That's true but…" Rick's mother turned to look at him, "I know that before you went away to Japan, your parents tried to send you to numerous therapists but have you been back? Your thoughts seem extremely black and white. Trust me, you're not all bad and Rick, though I love him with my entire heart, wasn't all good."

"All I know is that I was responsible for the blood draining from his body," Kuon whispered and Rick's mother shook her head.

"I never did like Tina. She was incredibly spoiled and always put the blame on someone else. She started doing that when she was four and would blame the housekeeper for any slip up she made," she said before Kuon looked away. "Well, I think that's given you something to think about," she said before putting a hand on Kuon's shoulder, "Do you still need some time with him?"

Kuon nodded and was surprised when Rick's mother brought him in for a hug.

"I'm glad that you're still alive," she whispered, "I'm glad that you decided to fight through the sadness to get to the place you are now," she told him and Kuon looked after her. He hadn't expected to get that reaction from a member of Rick's family at all.

…

…

What Kyoko loved the most about watching Kuu work was that she could see how many similarities there were between him and Kuon when he acted. When they had been filming Dark Moon together, Kyoko had watched Ren's acting as if she were attending a college level class. She was able to learn and grow as an actor just by watching him and he had become her motivation, a way of her pushing herself to embrace her dreams and get to be where she wanted to be. Watching Kuu, she could see how Kuon was inspired.

The way his body moved depending on character motivation for instance. Everything from where he placed his hands to how he moved his elbow and the angle at which his arm was bent. Kyoko was sure that Kuu knew about it, but the body language was completely different for when the character was angry rather than the character was upset.

Kyoko made notes as she looked at the way that Kuu held his head when he spoke his lines. If she was an artist then she would most definitely be sketching out what was happening. However, as she continued to look at her father, she started drifting off. Maybe it was because his acting techniques were so close to Ren's acting techniques or maybe it was the knowledge that Kuu and Kuon were related but as she continued to watch him it felt like she was seeing how Kuon would be when he was older and she didn't want to admit it out loud but it was hot.

Was she sexually attracted to Kuu-sama? Of course not. However, she was able to take in all of the ways in which she would want a future with Kuon. She wanted to act across from him again. She wanted to see him raise a family and increase his talents. She wanted Kuon to live and hopefully this trip to America would help him live rather than make him want to hide away in the shadows.

Kyoko wasn't even aware when the scene was ending, she was too swept up in her own imagination but as Kuu approached her, she got to her feet.

"So, do you think you learned from that?" he asked and Kyoko nodded before clapping.

"You're a genius, Kuu-sama," she told him putting the notebook on the table behind her. Kuu picked it up and looked at it before smiling as he saw all the notes about how Kuon must have learned from Kuu because certain things were the same in how they acted. That was something nice to see about him and his son.

"I'm not sure if genius is the word I used, but I'm glad that you were enjoying it," he said as he looked around the set. "I'm going to go use the dressing room, there's a café in the building if you'd like to go there or -"

"Why don't we go there together," Kyoko smiled happily as Kuu handed her back the notebook. "It'll be fun and I don't mind waiting here. You were amazing, Kuu-sama," she said as she acted like a very excited fangirl of his. To some actors this kind of praise was annoying but Kuu already viewed Kyoko as his daughter and hopefully one day that would be legal as well. That way he could see that his sons were making each other very happy.

"Okay, I'll be right back," he said and smiled to her, "You're such a good girl, Kyoko" he said as Kyoko looked down. Hopefully being a good girl didn't mean that she was boring, she really didn't want for Kuon to think that she wasn't exciting enough for him.

…

…

As Rick's mother left, Kuon approached the tombstone and looked at it. He thought about his best friend standing there beside him with his hand on his shoulder as he had done numerous times when giving Kuon advice as a teenager. Kuon knelt down on the ground not giving a damn about his clothes and he reached out to touch the stone, making sure not to kneel on top of Rick.

"I'm sorry," he whispered as he bowed his head, "I'm so sorry that I was a bad friend to you in the end," he said as he put a hand on his chest. "I love you. Not in that way so you don't need to make one of your jokes, but Rick, as a friend you…I love you. Thank you so much for all of the kindness that you showed me. I think it's only because of you that I've done so well. I became an actor, Rick. I wish I could show you some of my acting, I've been told it's good."

Kuon took a deep breath in, "I hope that it doesn't sound too selfish for me to say this but you helped me change, Rick, you helped me grow up into somebody else and change myself. It is because of you that I was able to do that and I doubt I will ever be able to truly thank you enough. I've met somebody. I told you about her in the past, that girl in Japan. We met again and she's my girlfriend. I think that you led me to her so thank you."

He sighed, "I'll always love you, bro," he said as his voice shook. "I'll try to bring Kyoko here before we leave. She deserves to know how I wouldn't be here today without you. You will always be my big brother," he said before closing his eyes and taking some deep breaths to steady himself.

End of Chapter Twenty Four

Thank you for reading

Thank you for reviewing Chapter Twenty Three

Brennakai, EmmaLasagna, Guest, Kris XD, MWEH, Paulagato, RichkeyZero, Undertheskys,