AN: Hope you enjoy this chapter

Chapter Thirty - Reflections

Kuon sat silently outside of the Hizuri house. He had spent so many years thinking that he was a bad guy, thinking that what had happened to Rick had been all his fault, going over every single wrong decision that he could possible have made. Kuon's life had been filled with errors that he had made himself, some even as Ren Tsuruga, but he had wanted to make those mistakes himself not have his good friend play around with his life as if it was a toy.

He couldn't take a breath without feeling like the pain wasn't filling his whole body. He had betrayed people before but maybe this was worse than all of those put together. He had no right to be an actor, no right to think about his dreams, no right to be alive. That was how his good friend had wanted him to feel, right? He had wanted him to think that he was a murderer and to struggle through the world disgusted by who he was.

Kuon paused as he heard someone approach him, "Kyoko, this isn't the ri-"

"It's not Kyoko," another woman said and Kuon looked at his mother. Julie walked over to him, placing a loving hand on his forehead and sweeping back his hair. Kuon watched her before looking downward, his eyes were stuck onto the dirt on the ground whilst trying to take in every small rock or pebble that he could see. After getting wasted the night before he was a little ashamed of his mother seeing him in that way.

"Kuon, you know that I've never not wanted you as my son. There has never been one day that I've not wanted to be your mother. When I got pregnant with you it was as if there was this open gate in my life and I rejoiced so much in the idea of being a mother. I would have a little girl or a little boy," Julie placed her hand over his wrist and squeezed affectionately, her finger brushing along his skin.

"Then you were born and I couldn't wait to show you off to everyone. This was my little boy, my son, a little version of his daddy. I know that Russian mothers might have a slightly sterner reputation but I loved you, I just wanted what was best for you and I was so proud of you. All of those firsts that a parent experiences, I got so happy. Your first smile, your first laugh, your first word, your first step, the first book we read together," she said as Kuon noticed the tears in her eyes. "All of those times I remember and I want to keep remembering them until the day I die. I've loved my time as a model and as an actress but more importantly, it's my time as your mother, as the mother of a little boy who was so creative and kind and tried to see the good in the world."

"Some good there was in the world," Kuon laughed bitterly as he still turned away from her.

"I knew you were suffering, we both knew that you were suffering but after you went to the therapists, the psychiatrist, after we suggested medication, taking you out of school for independent study, thinking about asking family members to -"

"I get it," Kuon said, "I really messed everything up,"

"No, you didn't. Trust me, I wanted you here, I wanted to explore more options and to move with you. I would have done anything in the world to make you smile to make you happy again. I wanted my little boy who always had a huge grin on his face, who appreciated the world and was eager to see what he could do in it, how he could move. Now I know that the best thing that we could have done for you is what we did despite how my heart never recovered until I got you back here with me."

Julie sighed as she kissed Kuon's cheek and he watched her, his eyes taking in how the years had changed her despite her still being one of the most beautiful women in the world.

"You really would have jumped onto a plane just to see my face in a crowd?" Kuon asked her and Julie nodded.

"I would have wanted more than that," she laughed, "Your father is right, I wouldn't have been able to not uncover your identity, however, I would have done anything to see you, that's why I wanted my video message and why I played it twenty times as soon as your father gave it to me. I wanted to see you moving around, see that you were okay. No matter the mistakes you make, I am your mother, I didn't go through nine months of labor to just abandon you. I'm appalled that Kyoko's mother was able to do that," Julie pouted and Kuon sighed.

"So, even though I was tricked and duped, I should still enjoy my acting, still do my best at it and ignore all the pain in life?" he asked and Julie rolled her eyes.

"You can never ignore all of the pain, you can just not incorporate it into your life but into your acting. Plus, if things hadn't turned out this way then you wouldn't have Kyoko, you wouldn't be one of the biggest starts of a Japanese agency, you wouldn't have become you and I can't have that. I've waited so many years for my boy to return home and now you owe me," she said as Kuon coughed.

"I owe you?" he asked.

"I will never forgive you if you and Kyoko don't give me grandchildren," she said as she pointed at him, "I need to have a little granddaughter or little grandson who I can spoil just like I should have spoiled my son, made him unable to see the pain in life."

"What a boring life that would have been," Kuon joked and Julie laughed, wiping away happy tears. Julie leaned over and wrapped her arms around Kuon, she really did still love her baby boy even after how life had gone on for them.

…..

…..

Kuon had been able to struggle through his acting without an NG and Yashiro was worried for him. He had managed to catch the gist of what was going on but he hadn't been able to figure out how it happened or all of those details. Still, Yashiro was angry for his friend who had tried his best to live a good life whilst struggling over a death that he had thought he was the cause for, a death that had never actually happened.

He was wanting to do his best for his client because this was only one realization that he had to get through. Once one secret came out that led to so many secrets to come out of the woodwork and then there was the question to whether there would be a backlash in Japan. Yashiro didn't think so in this case, Kuon hadn't done anything wrong and the stress would be horrific. He was more worried about Kuon having a biopic movie made about his life rather than being completely rejected by the Japanese public.

It would take some time to see what the result of all of this would be and all he could do was hope for the best for his client. As they returned to the Hizuri house, Kuon was surprised to see Kyoko waiting for him on the porch with her hair pulled into an elegant and classic bun whilst she wore an elegant pink dress, she was also wearing Princess Rosa around her neck.

"Hi," he said as he took her in.

She was gorgeous, she was always gorgeous but in this way she looked like a cover model, the kind that was meant to draw in the public so they bought that magazine. However, Kuon couldn't remember if they had planned anything. He hadn't thought so, alcohol would not be on the list of things that he wanted to drink right now but Kyoko looked as if she were expecting something from him.

"Hi," she smiled as she stood up and walked over to him, putting a hand to his shirt and noticing that he had been sweating a little. She grinned, she didn't care if he sweat on her, she just wanted him to know how important his life was to her and how much she would give for him. She loved him and she hated the unfair way he had been treated in the past.

"Did we have something planned?" she asked and Kyoko shook her head. "Then what is all of this about, not that I don't appreciate it."

"I want to celebrate you," Kyoko told him as she smiled, "I want you to know that despite what you learned there's a lot of good in you. As Corn you prepared me for the world, you let me know that it was safe to cry and that I could take care of myself even if I didn't have anyone I could truly depend upon. As Ren you helped me achieve so much happiness with my acting. If I hadn't met you then my life wouldn't have turned out this well so tonight, I wanted to celebrate you and if you want me to change then -"

"You don't have to change," Kuon told her with a smile, "I do have to say that I do feel proud that I was right."

"You were right?" Kyoko repeated.

"You are absolutely gorgeous and growing more and more beautiful with every passing day," he said before placing his hand under her cheek so that he could raise her chin and kiss her passionately. Words would never be enough to express his emotional connection to her.

…..

…..

"So," Kuu said as he looked up from his script as Julie still felt happy about how she had been able to transform Kyoko into someone with even more beauty. When Kyoko had asked to look like a model, Julie had gotten excited but told her that there wasn't a lot that needed to change since she was so beautiful. "Do you think that Kuon will be okay? Do we need to watch for his anger? Is that something that you -"

"Kuon doesn't seem to be experiencing anything like that," Julie said before sighing. "I think that he's more upset than anything else," she said, "his whole perspective of life just got changed. As long as Kuon is with Kyoko and close to home where he knows we accept him and love him then I don't see why he wouldn't be okay," Julie argued and Kuu frowned.

"So, you don't think he's going to go out and…kill Rick either?" he asked and Julie raised an eyebrow.

"You better not be calling my little boy, our son, a murderer," Julie argued, "Rick did something horrible to him. Kuon deserves to be angry about that but you can not honestly tell me that you think that Kuon is going to do anything like murder anyone."

"Not murder then….but if I was Rick I would be a bit concerned about his safety," Kuu told her and Julie raised an eyebrow.

"So you are referring to Kuon as a murderer," she said sounding angry about the situation and Kuu sighed.

"Rick doesn't have to fear his safety when it comes to Kuon, at least right now, but he does have to worry about me," he said before laughing in a way that definitely made Julie feel uneasy.

End of Chapter Thirty

Thank you for reading

Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Twenty Nine

Guest, Kris XD, ktoll9, Misherukuro, paulagato

Response to Reviews

Thank you so much for all of the support not just for this fic but for all of mine, I know there are many who read more than one. I have really shown Rick in a bad way here but I think that it allows Kuon more room to grow. Kuon will have to decide how to move forward especially with a shock like this.