Chapter 14: Meet Aster Carrow
"Aaaaaaaaaah!"
Lexie vaguely recognized James' warlike cry before she felt something heavy land on top of her making her feel like her lungs had just collapsed. Gasping for some much needed air, Lexie struggled against the lump that had catapulted onto her chest.
"James you big wanker, get off me," Sirius grumbled somewhere to her right and she felt something struggling beside her.
James' girly giggles broke through Sirius' muffled voice, "Lookie what we have here, two little lovebirds all cuddled up in front of the fire!"
"We're not lovebirds you prat, we just fell asleep here. Now get up before I hurt you. Don't think I won't, I have a pretty good shot at your groin from here and I'm not afraid to let my foot slip," threatened Sirius.
James' reaction was immediate and he rolled off the two curling to protect his privates, "No need to get violent, you sure are a testy lover Siri."
Sirius aimed a kick at James but he had moved too far away, "Shut it. You know how much I hate that blasted nickname."
"Will you both stop bickering like a bunch of sissies and just get off of me, I'm pretty sure somebody's foot is jabbing me in the ribs and it certainly isn't mine," grumbled Lexie while still trying to untangle herself from the pile of bedding.
"I think that's my elbow actually" said Sirius wincing while he unbent it from the awkward position.
"Well get the bloody thing out of my rib cage before you rupture my lungs," gritted Lexie as James rolled back onto her legs as an attempt to untangle himself from more blankets.
"Watch it Potter, that's my foot you just barreled over, mind moving you prat?"
Remus' voice interrupted their bickering from the boy's staircase, "Are we interrupting something?" He and Peter had just entered the common room and both looked confused at the scene in front of them.
"No that would be James," said Lexie finally free from both boy's limbs and was now working her way out of what used to be a respectable blanket fort but now resembled a collapsed tent.
"And that would be what exactly?" asked Remus his eyebrows raised.
Lexie looked back at the deconstructed fort where the two black haired boys were still trying to free themselves, "Well I guess it doesn't matter anymore since it's ruined."
"Are you done making a mess of things yet? I could use some breakfast," said Peter as his stomach rumbled.
"Oy! You two, stop messing around, Pete's hungry! As dearest friends we have an obligation to make sure he doesn't starve," bellowed Lexie towards James and Sirius who had managed to free themselves from the pile of blankets and were now waging a small pillow war.
"Food?" Sirius asked his head perking up, taking advantage of the distraction James swung a pillow smacking him in the head.
"Come on, let's just go. They'll catch up soon enough," Lexie said shaking her head.
Five minutes later James and Sirius were both out of breath when James looked up, "Hey where'd they go?"
"Prats, probably went for breakfast. Race you?"
"You're on!" James shouted as both boys jumped up leaving the bedding behind and tried to simultaneously get through the portrait hole.
Lexie, Remus and Peter looked up from their food when they heard a crash coming from the entrance of the great hall and moments later James and Sirius tumbled through crashing onto the stone floor before proceeding to argue about whose body part had actually made it through the door first.
The three at the table just shook their heads smiling and resumed eating their breakfast while the Great Hall slowly filled up with students returning from Christmas.
It didn't take long for life at Hogwarts to resume. Lexie was still struggling in classes but with the help of the boys she was able to get through the material. Even Peter who was often shy and also struggled in some of the classes was useful since he had at least been raised in the magical world.
It was just another typical school night in the common room, the end of the year was fast approaching which seemed to mean more assignments as the professors seemed to be trying to squeeze in new material before exams. Lexie and Remus were diligently working on a History of Magic essay while James, Sirius and Peter were ignoring their academic responsibilities and playing Exploding Snap. The common room was full of students and the general atmosphere was relaxed.
The portrait hole opened and a wave of silence seemed to engulf the room as Professor McGonagall made her way to the fireplace where Lexie and the boys were sitting. All eyes flickered in their direction trying to eavesdrop without being caught by their Head of House.
"Lexie, Professor Dumbledore would like to see you in his office, you have a visitor."
Lexie frowned since she never had visitors. Actually, no student in Hogwarts seemed to have visitors. Even if they did, it's not like she never even knew anybody who would visit her. Especially here.
Lexie stood up in confusion and shrugged a goodbye to the boys while she followed McGonagall out of the portrait hole trying to ignore the ominous looks that the other students were giving her. Neither spoke during the entire walk and the only words that was the password to Dumbledore's Office.
"I'll leave you here," said McGonagall as she knocked on the professor's door before making her way back down the stairs.
Lexie was called inside and entered the familiar settings of Dumbledore's office before noticing a woman with dark brown hair that looked like it hadn't been tended to properly and was unruly. The woman's eyes were a deep green and Lexie couldn't figure out why, but the woman looked a little familiar yet not in the way Dumbledore or Sirius had looked familiar and she didn't get the same sense of trust coming from her.
Dumbledore stood and Lexie saw him studying her face as if he was trying to gauge her reaction. "Lexie, this is Almeda Carrow."
Lexie frowned, the name didn't sound familiar and reached out to shake the woman's hand. She held in a gasp when she came into contact with her hand, which was cold and her handshake firm, nothing about this woman made her feel like she was entirely friendly.
The woman looked a little disgusted even and said in a voice laced with superiority, "Lexie, that's not exactly the name I would have picked for you. Aster was a much stronger name."
Lexie frowned, she hadn't exactly been thrilled with Mrs. Tobias' decision to name her Alexandria, but she liked Lexie enough, she felt it suited her much better than Aster.
"We have found ourselves in a unique situation Lexie, please sit down and I will try to make this as, well less awkward as possible."
Lexie sat while the woman resumed her seat next to her and gave Dumbledore a hard stare. "Lexie, Almeda is your birth mother."
Lexie felt her mouth drop open and stared from Dumbledore to the woman, she was not expecting Dumbledore to just blurt something like that out, now she could feel it hanging in the room as if it was waiting for the right moment to crash down on her.
Her birth mother? This was the woman that had carried her for nine months and then tossed her away after only a few years, tossed her away to spend the rest of her life feeling unwanted. Years spent wondering who her parents were, this was the woman who was responsible for any abuse Lexie had suffered at the hands of Celine and any time Lexie had been starving for food, it was all because she had been orphaned.
This woman looked healthy enough with a nice set of robes, even if they looked a little severe. At least she was certainly alive enough to take care of her, why after so many years was she finally coming forward?
Lexie realized why the woman looked familiar, she had Lexie's hair and her cheekbones, the same nose although hers was a little sharper whereas Lexie's nose was a little more petite and rounded. The eyes were quite different from Lexie's own hazel ones, but she could definitely see the resemblance. Lexie suddenly felt a wave of hatred towards this woman. She had left her, left her with nothing. Not even a name.
Lexie glared at the woman before looking back at Dumbledore refusing to acknowledge her own blood, "Well what does she want?"
Dumbledore looked a little taken aback by Lexie's harsh tone but continued in the same calm voice as before, "She has come to regain custody of you. At the end of the year she would like you to live with her and spend all of your holidays at the Carrow Estate."
Lexie frowned, things just didn't add up. Why now? What's different now? The only thing that was different between now and before was that now she was a witch, but Lexie couldn't understand why that even mattered. No, Lexie felt abandoned and something about this cold woman who was supposed to be her mother did not make her feel inclined to spend any amount of time with her.
Lexie looked back at Dumbledore, he appeared to be gauging her reaction, "No, I'd rather go back to-"
Before Lexie could finish the woman snapped, "No, you will be living in your rightful place Aster, not in squalor with muggles."
Lexie wasn't in the mood to be nice to anyone who ordered her around and snapped right back. "My name isn't Aster and it never will be! You left me, what makes you think I would ever want to come back and live with you? And who cares if they're muggles, I've been living with them most of my life thanks to you so don't start caring now or anything!"
The woman had the same cold expression on her face but her green eyes were full of hidden fury and contempt and Lexie was terrified of this woman, more than she had ever been afraid of Celine. "You will not speak to me that way. You will come live with me and you will be a Carrow. You will embrace the life of a Carrow, it's bad enough that you were put into Gryffindor, not much I can do to fix that," she spat with disgust, "I will not tolerate anymore disobedience and you will be spending your summers back at the estate, if not willingly, you will be forced."
"That is enough, I will not have you threaten any of my students," Dumbledore said looking at Almeda with a stern expression, he turned to Lexie and his eyes became kind again, "Lexie, you currently reside under Mrs. Tobias' care and if you decide to remain there, you will for the time being. There will be no forcing of any kind," he said again turning back to Lexie's mother who just sneered at him, "When you gave her up she was released from your care and until further notice she will remain as such."
"What right do you have to meddle in the affairs of my family? I will go to the Ministry if I have to, they will see reason."
Lexie felt overwhelmed, her mother who had just left her, was now trying to gain custody of her. It just didn't make any sense, why wait this long? Why didn't she come see Lexie before and where did she go for all those years?
"Why did you abandon me? Why should I trust you after you just left me? Do you know what I've been through?" Lexie could feel the rage building up. She wanted answers.
Almeda looked at Lexie disgust still distorting her features, "Thought you were a squib, couldn't have that dirtying up the Carrow line, so we wiped your memories and left you at the doorstep of one of those muggle churches. Clearly we were wrong. My father-in-law has been trying to keep track of you since then. You've made it difficult for him, disappearing for a few months before you were sent here. When we found out you weren't actually a squib we knew that you had to become a Carrow again."
Lexie had heard about squibs from Sirius who had told her he was pretty certain that Filch was one, "A person born to magical parents but unable to do a single bit of magic," Sirius had explained.
Lexie was disgusted, they had left her completely alone at some doorstep just because they thought she had no magical ability. They hadn't even waited five years before dumping her. Lexie knew she could never live with this woman, she was cruel, Lexie could see that and she would rather spend the rest of her days at the orphanage, she would never set a foot inside any place that belonged to the Carrows.
"Who is my father, where is he?" Lexie found herself asking even though her decision had already been made.
"Dead."
Lexie knew that she was missing something but suddenly felt drained of energy, she didn't care anymore. She just wanted to leave and never see this woman again. It suddenly didn't matter that she was an orphan and something inside her changed. Lexie no longer cared that she wasn't raised by her parents or had a family, if this woman was her mother she wanted no part of it and was glad that she wasn't under her rules.
Lexie turned to Dumbledore who was staring at Almeda with his piercing blue eyes, yes there was definitely something more to the story but Lexie was already in too much emotional pain, she felt nothing for her father and felt nothing about his death, she never knew the man. All she felt now was hate and she just wanted to go back to the common room and forget the Carrows.
"I will be returning to Mrs. Tobias for the summer, I have made my decision. Now I am tired, can I leave?"
Dumbledore opened his mouth to respond when Lexie felt fingernails dig into her arm. She looked up into those cold green eyes and winced, "You will be sorry for this, you will be joining me and you will become Aster Carrow. I will be going to the Ministry and you will be back in my custody."
"Let her go," Dumbledore's voice was calm but his eyes raged with fury, Lexie felt the fingers being pried from her arm by an invisible force, Dumbledore stood, "You may go Lexie. I will make sure your wishes are heard. Goodnight, try to get some sleep."
Lexie still felt dazed and stumbled to the door and down the stairs. Once she reached the corridor she ran, ran as fast as she could trying to escape the woman who called herself her mother, ran away from the confusion.
By the time she reached the portrait hole she was gasping, her hands shaking, the deep grove sliced in her arm from her mother's nails burned but she ignored it. Her mind felt heavy, this was too much. Lexie never thought her parents would find her again and all the pain that she had carefully hidden away was coursing through her causing her ears to ring. Lexie gasped the password and the portrait swung forward.
The Marauders were the only people left, they had stayed up waiting for Lexie to return. Lexie didn't want to talk to them though, she didn't want to talk to anyone. She just wanted to crawl up on her bed and rock herself to sleep, Lexie just wanted to feel human again, even if that meant she was an orphan. They turned at the sound of her climbing through the portrait hole and noticed her flushed face, pain clearly etched on her face, her eyes dead looking.
Sirius was the first to reach her and lightly grabbed her shoulders, "Lex, what happened? What's wrong?"
Lexie just shook her head frantically, almost like she was trying to dispel water from her ears. She couldn't tell them, it hurt too much right now. Lexie didn't want to be Aster Carrow, she just wanted to be Lexie Hall again. Lexie Hall the orphan.
Lexie pulled herself out from Sirius' grasp, still shaking her head, she could feel herself losing it. Lexie needed to get out of there, she backed away from Sirius while everyone watched her, worry on all of their faces.
Sirius tried to approach her again, walking slowly as if he was approaching a spooked animal, "Lexie please, tell us what's wrong, what did Dumbledore want?"
Lexie shook her head once more, "I don't even know really… I just can't. Not now," and with that she fled up the stairs, a painful sob the only sound they heard before she disappeared.
Sirius turned to James, Remus and Peter "What the hell was that about?" The three boys looked back just as confused and worried, "Dunno mate, doesn't look good whatever it was."
"I don't think I've ever seen Lexie like that. Ever," said Remus in a quiet voice. "I mean sometimes I can tell her mind is elsewhere, but I've never seen her so…" he trailed off.
"Completely traumatized? The only other time I've seen her even remotely sad is when I talk about my mum and dad." James finished for him with a frown marring his brow.
"Well of course she's sad. She doesn't know her parents remember?" murmured Remus looking thoughtful.
The other three turned to Remus, "When did she say that?" Sirius asked with a frown, "She's mentioned having brothers, a whole load of them."
"She mentioned it on the first day on the train here remember? She said something about being named by Mrs. Tobias. I guess I just assumed since why would someone other than a parent name her? I figured maybe they passed away or gave her up for adoption. Maybe her brothers aren't really brothers by blood."
"Merlin, I can't believe I forgot about that!" said James, "I feel so awful now about talking about how wonderful my parents are now, I probably made her feel worse."
"Don't worry about it James, I'm sure she'll forgive you. Well if she'll even talk to us again. She definitely looked…a bit off kilter."
"Do you think she'll tell us what's wrong?" asked Peter in a small voice. Like the other boys and nearly everyone who had met Lexie, he liked the girl and her bright smile, she treated him just like she would anyone else despite his shy demeanor. Peter also hated to see her so distraught.
"I hope so Pete. I mean I'm sure she will eventually right?" Sirius asked while the other boys nodded. This was not the Lexie they were used to and it scared them.