Chapter Forty Four – The Consequences of Maturity

Kuon stared at some magazines that were spread over the counter in the place Kyoko was living. He looked at them blankly, they were all about roles and new dramas and films that he had done as Ren Tsuruga. That seemed such a long time ago. He wasn't even sure how much of Ren Tsuruga still existed today. Kuon picked one up which was all about Ring-Doh and his eyes went over it, catching on the picture of the younger him who still hadn't learned much of what really happened in the world.

He sighed. He had always felt that he was strong and knowledgeable about the world due to his childhood. He had been a fool, he had never truly grasped onto how cold the world was and how it had its own brand of cruelty. He sighed and shook his head. He could never go back to being the person in those pictures.

"Are you okay?" Kyoko asked as she came over to him with a tray of hot tea. She saw Kuu starting at Kuon as he pet Cain.

"Yeah," Kuon nodded shakily, "Yeah, I'm….I'm okay," he said though his voice was coated with the sadness which proved that he wasn't. There was no stepping back and changing this. There was nothing which he could do. He just wasn't…he wasn't the person he had strived to be for such a long time.

"Do you know what you want to do?" Kuu asked as he watched him.

Kuon turned to him and looked away, he sighed as he pushed a hand through his hair and Kuu observed him sadly. This would take years of therapy to sort out and even if Kuon did get psychiatric help, to say that he killed someone would mean that the doctor would have to make a report and then he would get thrown into jail. Kuu knew that Kyoko wanted him around but maybe the best thing to do was to go through the legal system whatever the cost. He wouldn't be the one to force Kuon or even to push for Kuon to do that. He wanted his son no matter what the consequences.

"You can always stay here, be a father and a husband, craft a new career for yourself. I think acting might be too dangerous," Kyoko said sadly, "but you can always change your name, tell people you are someone who holds a remarkably similar look to Tsuruga Ren," she attempted to encourage him and Kuon shifted slightly.

He sat down as he looked at her pregnant belly. He did want to be a father and a husband. He wanted to enjoy that type of happy family life which he never believed that he would get but he didn't deserve it. He had made bad choices and staying here, offering his family false hope whilst he remained in hiding would only lead to them getting hurt more.

"Dad," Kuon said as he turned across to see his father watching him. "Can I ask you for another favor. I feel like a terrible son asking for so much but if you could grant me this one fi-"

"Don't finish that sentence," Kuu said firmly. "Yes, I will always be here to help you. There are no final favors when it comes to the bond between a father and his son, at least not in our family. You just let me know how I can help and…"

"Will you take care of my family?" he asked and Kuu looked at him with a dropped jaw and nodded shakily, unsure how to respond. Kyoko immediately put the tray down and looked at Kuon with her arms crossed over her chest and her eyes showing a sense of being betrayed. She shivered as she looked at him and then glared and walked away.

"I won't forgive you," she said stubbornly and Kuon turned to his father. It wasn't worth chasing after her this time, he would never get her to change her mind.

"Whatever narrative she decides to tell about me, please don't argue with her. I don't want there to be any confusion," Kuon said as he looked forwards. He had to start taking responsibility for things that happened in his life. He knew everyone was against him going to the gang and for his own protection, he would have to conceal some privileged information but he had to go to the police. All of this happened because he hadn't taken responsibility for Rick's death and instead had gone to Japan without notice. He should have confessed when he was fifteen and there had still been a chance to be convicted as a minor.

"Kuon, the things that you've been through are difficult but you can't give up," Kuu tried to stress. "I'm not going to tell you what to do but please consider all the options and consequences before you make up your mind."

"Will you tell Mom that I love her?" Kuon asked as he had a sort of distant look in his eyes.

Kuu nodded, "I will but I doubt that you'll be able to keep her from seeing you. Even if you're convicted and charged of murder, your mother will come to visit you. I can't help it. I hope that you're not though. I really hope that you get the happy life that you've fought for. I hope that the police don't convict you."

"I hope that I get the death penalty," Kuon said honestly and Kuu stared at him in horror. Kuon was just being over dramatic right. He didn't mean that. Both of them could hear Kyoko crying from the hallway but there wasn't anything that they could do. Kuon had definitely matured into a different person but he was being punished for finally having that maturity. Kyoko really might never forgive him for this.

…

…

Kyoko looked up at Kuon as he sat at the corner of the bed. She knew she couldn't reason with him into staying. As much as they both wanted him to stay and they both wanted to live a fulfilling life together as a family, Kuon would never forgive himself were he to just run away from these issues. He could arguably live with the knowledge that he was running but it would wear him down over time and the image he gave to his child might shatter when they found out the truth.

Kuon's story was sad but he wasn't the criminal in this that he might be made out to be. He had a sympathetic story where the wrong thing was done time and time again but he wasn't a bad person. He was just not going to have a presence there but she would try to get them to understand how kind he had always been, how compassionate, and how he had left them in order to take responsibility for his actions.

"I know I can't change your mind," Kyoko whispered as she watched him. "I wouldn't know where to start," she said honestly and Kuon turned to her with a weak smile, he reached out a hand to her and kissed her forehead affectionately, she smiled and held to his wrist. "I won't hate you for doing this, they won't hate you for doing this, I'll make sure of it but please….please just think carefully on what you tell them. Don't wallow. Don't fall into despair."

"You think life imprisonment without chance of parole is better than the death penalty?" Kuon asked and Kyoko sighed. She kissed the back of his hand.

"I don't want you to die but whichever causes you the least amount of pain," she smiled to him. If this hadn't happened. If Rick hadn't come into Kuon's life again then he would be making a name for himself as a famous actor. He wouldn't have had to struggle with gangs coming after him or running away to live on the streets or being said to be dead and living in Hawaii or having to commit murder for his own freedom. If only Rick hadn't reappeared then Kuon would be able to enjoy happiness.

Maybe he had a troubled past where he had caused pain and injury but he wasn't like that anymore and he hadn't started off that way either. It was the world which had cast a cold shoulder to him and not the other way around. Yet, there was still so much pain which he had to battle through.

She hated Rick for this, she wanted him gone and to not survive. She wanted to take all of her anger and turn it into a ball of hate and throw it at him. She wanted to knock him down with hatred and take revenge for what he had done to them. She wanted revenge on him far more than she had ever wanted it on Shotaro.

Kyoko raised her head as she heard Kuon's phone ring but it was a different tone than the usual one, she saw him pull it out and it was a new phone. Of course, she could have expected that. He wasn't able to keep many of the same possessions but something about this particular phone gave her a nasty sinking feeling in her stomach.

"Hello, Hizuri," Kuon said in a strong, authoritative voice and Kyoko saw his eyes widen and his entire body went pale. He sat there in shock and Kyoko immediately sat up, reaching a hand out to his shoulder. She was about to speak but after she heard the next words her heart stopped. "What did you do with the body?" Kuon asked. His voice sounded firm and without strong emotion but his entire body was shaking in horror. Kyoko got up, going to sit beside him as he looked down. "I didn't order that. I didn't ask for that. I…I'll deal with this soon," he said before ending the call.

Kyoko let her head rest on his shoulder but saw him trembling. She hated this. She wished that for his sake, she could press a reset button and go back in time but keep all of her memories. She wished that she could meet him again as a ten-year-old and tell him that everything was going to be fine and that he was one day going to be a great actor and he didn't need to see the darkness in the world. He just had to keep being Corn. She wanted for things to get better for him but there were dreams and there were nightmares and this was a nightmare.

"What happened?" she asked as Kuon bowed his head, his body still shaking.

"They killed Rick. I mentioned that I wished he was dead and someone thought that they would please me and murder him. They told me that they got rid of his body but also did it very publicly. I…I have to go and sort this out, I have to tell the police what happened that someone was killed because of my own hatred for them," Kuon panicked and Kyoko reached out for him.

"I understand," she whispered, "but please, leave in the morning, if it's the last thing that I ask of you just hold me in your arms for one night. Just one last night," she said with tears in her eyes and Kuon turned to her sadly.

"One night," he repeated the words and she nodded. He took a deep breath in and climbed into the bed, wrapping his arms around her. He knew that everything would be different the next night but right now he was with her and he had to take pleasure in those small and yet so beautiful moments.

End of Chapter Forty-Four

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Brennakai, Guest, H-Nala, Kaname671, ktoll9