REVIEW REPLIES:

Dannyderailed: Well… oops. I don't play chess anymore, and even when I did, I never used 'knights' only horses. So… are those the same thing? If they are, then I'm really sorry about that. Also, the time thing, I just used this online clock thing, so I'm sorry if that's not accurate either. Thank you so much for pointing it out !

DaughterOfHecate: *sobs* Yep, they're growing up alright. I love all those three ships as well! Then again, a lot of people do… Anyway, I'm glad you liked this chapter! I know what you mean about the 'happy energetic vibe' though, I get the same way when I talk about my favourite books. It gets annoying sometimes, one of my friends goes around chanting 'Percy Jackson is dumb' just to annoy me, one of them refuses to read the books because 'they're too scary' when she literally reads a book called the 'Red Queen', and my other friend has read the books, but doesn't love them as much as I do. I'm glad that you liked the bit with Peeves! I love Peeves, and I wanted to give him something else to do instead of being tricked by Harry's impression of the Bloody Baron. Oddly enough, I didn't even think of 'My father will hear about this!' which is weird, come to think of it. About the Harry thing, well, this task was basically all Harry, Artemis told them what to look for, so no need for anything other than Harry's seeking skills. Besides, what else would the others do while he's flying around like a maniac? Yep, Draco seems like the sort of person who would use a fancy term to describe something as normal as spying, and Artemis would be pretty cool with it. Technically Nico's pretty good at spying too, but he hasn't done any of that yet, so… yeah. And 'huh?' pretty much sums up everything Ron has witnessed so far. At first I was planning on having Hermione figure it out, like in the book, but then it would make Draco seem pretty useless, just tagging along and getting injured. And even though Artemis is a genius, Draco knows a lot more about the wizarding world, having grown up there. I don't know, ruining a sneak attack seems just like the sort of thing 11 year-old Nico would do, you know? Unfortunately, the Artemis-Dumbledore smackdown won't happen until the next chapter. I was planning on writing it in this chapter, but… I ran out of time. I'm really glad that you liked that chapter so much! Don't worry about the length of the review, I don't mind reading long reviews. In fact, I love reading them, it means a lot to know that someone likes reading this story enough to spend so long writing a review. Same here, it's always refreshing to have a sort-of conversation with someone who loves these books as much as I do. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Summer: I'm glad you liked it! I don't usually write chapters this long, but at least it didn't seem too rushed. I just felt that Draco was the most relatable one in that chapter. Everyone else is like 'Top Secret Mission, stop evil wizard, make a bunch of sacrifices' but Draco is more like 'I'm absolutely terrified, what is happening? Why is this happening? I'm so confused and yet I inadvertently help'. I don't know, he just seemed super fun to write. And yes! Lucius Malfoy finally serves a decent purpose! I love a mischievous Peeves too! I mean, who doesn't? I'm proud of Draco too, actually trying to solve a problem instead of saying that 'his father would hear about this'. Poor Artemis, he's like 'CRIMINAL GENIUS RIGHT HERE PEOPLE' and everyone is like 'We're doomed! Can you do it?' lol. That's because the hacking into a teacher's computer to make the test harder is something he did. I think he mentioned it in the Time Paradox? Anyway, it's in one of the books, I just can't remember which one. Artemis is a chess champion, and Ron's not half-bad himself, so it makes sense that the two chess masters would bond over it. Or at least overcome some of their animosity. And FINALLY! I've been wanting to give Nico a chance to show off his skills for a long time now, but the time never seemed right. At least Neeks got his time to shine eventually. Well, one of the main reasons that Nico is so grumpy all the time is because he doesn't spend much time with people, and the fact that he hasn't had to fight in a war or go through Tartarus yet probably helps too. Besides, he's a demigod. Fights are pretty natural to him, he'd probably feel pretty 'at home' in the middle of a wizard's battle. And yeah, he's been spending WAY too much time with Percy. And… I don't know, the sneak attack thing just felt right, you know? I'm really glad that you liked this chapter, and I'm not planning on quitting in the middle of the series anytime soon. I know that I say this every time, but for formality's sake, thank you so much for reviewing!

Nico winced as Quirrell and Harry turned around to face him, once in annoyance, the other in shock, and maybe a bit of relief.

"What?" he demanded, "Quit staring at me like that!"

Quirrell shook himself out of his stupor, "Who are you? Why are you here? How are you here? Answer me boy!" he said, pointing his wand at Nico, his stuttering and stumbling pretty much non-existent by now.

'Huh,' he thought, 'Draco was right. You really should never bet against a genius.'

"Answer me boy! Why aren't you answering me?"

"Nico!" Harry yelled, "Get out of here! Get help!"

Nico shrugged, "I don't think I will. The others have got that handled."

"Then help me you idiot! I'm a bit tied up over here! Literally!"

Nico rolled his eyes, "Chill out Harry. Panicking isn't going to get you anywhere." he pointed out while making his way towards Harry.

"In case you didn't notice, there's a big bad professor right there, who wants to bring Voldemort back to life! How are you not panicking right now?"

Nico looked mildly interested, "That's his game? Eh, makes sense I guess." he said with a shrug, completely ignoring the last bit of Harry's mini rant.

"Excuse me!" Quirrell yelled, sounding a bit shrill, "I am right here! Stop ignoring me! I'm trying to resurrect the Dark Lord! You can't just completely disregard me like that! Who do you think you are?"

Nico turned away from Harry and gave Quirrell a mock bow, "Nico di Angelo, as you very well know. Now make like a good boy, and go back to your master, okay?"

Quirrell looked stunned for a moment, and Nico actually thought that they had won. This was too easy! After facing empousai, titans, Minos and a whole bunch of other monsters, Quirrell seemed like a bit of a joke. Just a cowardly, power-addicted pawn. Were all wizard villains so hopelessly pathetic?

And then Quirrell's head started talking.

"Ignore them. We need the mirror. " said a scratchy, snake-like voice.

Quirrell shivered, "What for, my Lord? Please be a bit more specific, it would be so much easier if you just-"

"USE THE MIRROR TO FIND MY STONE YOU BUFFOON!"

Quirrell nodded vigorously, stumbling over himself in his haste to get to the mirror.

Nico's eyes followed him as he walked up to a huge mirror with a golden frame.

"The mirror of the Erised" he breathed. The one mirror he never wanted to see again. The pain he had felt that night as he gazed into the mirror and saw himself with Percy and his father was still fresh. He still wanted people who would accept him for who he was, and a family, something he hadn't had for as long as he could remember. No matter how much he tried to shove his feelings to the side, and focus on the pretty decent life that he had at the moment, the fear of never being accepted still lingered at the back of his head. Yes, he had a friend who seemed to like being around him(most of the time, anyway), but would he still stick around if he knew his secret? Who he was? What he was? Only an idiot would still want to be around him after that, and despite what Nico claimed, Artemis Fowl was no idiot.

Nico snapped out of his shock when he suddenly felt ropes wrapping around his torso.

"Seriously man?" Nico complained.

Quirrell shrugged, "Personally, I find it a bit unnecessary, but my master seems to consider you a threat, and threats must be neutralized, no matter how minor." he said with a patronizing smile.

Minor? Minor? Nico couldn't help but feel insulted that he was being dismissed so easily. He felt tempted to whip out his sword again and show Quirrell exactly how minor he was, but he'd already blown his surprise attack, he couldn't afford to mess up again. He supposed that he could pretend to be defenseless and terrified before stabbing Quirrell where Apollo doesn't shine. But he wouldn't like it.

"I see the Stone ... I'm presenting it to my master ... but where is it?" Quirrell asked desperately.

Nico watched as Harry struggled to free himself from the ropes.

"I was so sure it was Snape." Harry mumbled, "He hates me. Why would Quirrell try to kill me?" Nico wasn't really sure who he was talking to, but he decided to help out by providing him with an answer.

"Not everyone who hates you wants to kill you Harry."

Quirrell overheard their little exchange and smile sadistically.

"Your little friend is right Potter. Old Snape hates you with a passion, you remind him too much of your father. They were bitter enemies back in their school days, didn't you know? But he never wanted to see you dead."

"But I heard you a few days ago, sobbing – I thought Snape was threatening you ..." Harry stuttered.

For the first time, a spasm of fear flitted across Quirrell's face.

"Sometimes," he said, "I find it hard to follow my master's instructions, he is a great wizard and I amweak –"

"You mean he was there in the classroom with you?" Harry gasped.

"No, Old Voldy was IM-ing him." Nico said sarcastically, "Of course he was in the classroom!"

"Not helping!"

"How dare you!"

Harry and Quirrell yelled at the same time.

Quirrell marched up to Nico and pointed his wand at Nico's throat, "Insolent boy! How dare you disrespect my master like that? I have been merciful by not killing you on the spot, but obviously, that was a mistake on my part." he growled.

"Ava-"

"Stop!" Quirrell's head hissed.

"M-Master? What do you mean?"

"I mean stop, you fool! I like this boy, he has courage. And a member of my former house, I see? Interesting. Very interesting."

Nico eyed Quirrell's head warily, "Uh... if you say so?"

"Let me speak to him... face to face." the voice said with a gruesome chuckle, as though it had just delivered the punchline of an amusing joke.

"B-But master! You're not strong enough!"

"Silence. I have more than enough strength for this."

Quirrell unwound his turban, and Nico felt another surge of the dark energy that had left him so woozy in the Forbidden Forest. This time, however, it did nothing more than make him feel a bit queasy. Nico wasn't sure what was up with that, but maybe the whole 'dizzy and nauseous' thing was just a first exposure effect or something. He'd have to ask Artemis about it later. Artemis would, without a doubt, go on and on about the subject for hours, which would also help him to get at least 3 hours of sleep.

Nico felt someone slap his cheek, also effectively snapping him out of his fantasy of falling asleep during Artemis' inevitable lecture.

"Pay attention when the Dark Lord addresses you boy!" Quirrell snarled.

"Turn around Quirrell"

Quirrell did as he was told, revealing a pretty gruesome face. Nico couldn't award it the prize for 'Most Hideous and Fearsome Face', since he had seen a lot worse in his years as a demigod, but apparently, it was effective enough, since Harry seemed rooted to the spot, his mouth open in a silent scream.

It was chalk white with glaring red eyes and slits for nostrils, like a snake. If Nico hadn't been so grossed out, he would have wondered what sort of horrible life choices this guy had made, that led to him being nothing more than a weird face at the back of someone's head, covered by a turban 24/7.

"Nico di Angelo" The deformed face hissed, it's dry, papery mouth flapping around awkwardly.

"Lord Voldemort." Harry whispered, horrified.

Voldemort turned to Harry, or rather, Quirrell did.

"Harry Potter... Wait your turn Harry. I'll have plenty of time for you later. First let me speak to your Slytherin friend."

Voldemort looked straight at Nico, "A Slytherin? Helping a Gryffindor? With no personal gain?" he asked, sounding amused.

"How do know that there's nothing in this for me? For all you know, Potter might have promised to do all of my homework for the rest of the year."

"Did he?"

"I guess you'll never know, now will you?"

Voldemort let loose a dry, raspy and slightly maniacal laugh, "I knew that there was something special about you. Not many people would have the guts to talk back to Lord Voldemort. But that's not the only reason I find you so... fascinating. You simply radiate dark magic, boy. A worthy follower. Care to join me? I'd even let you look into the mirror and retrieve the Stone!"

Quirrell made a choking noise, "But my Lord, you said that I could-"

"Shut. Up. I am trying to recruit someone!"

"Apologies, my Lord."

Nico would have crossed his arms if he hadn't been tied up, "Yeah... no."

"No?" Voldemort repeated, sounding baffled.

Nico rolled his eyes, "Yes 'no' . Sorry dude, but I have this thing called 'common sense' which means that I don't want to end up with a flat nose and a snake face." he shuddered theatrically, dispelling a mental image of him attached to the back of some creep, while also thinking, 'I've been spending too much time with Percy.'

Voldemort gaped at him as much as his papery, thin mouth would allow.

"What? How- never mind! I'll deal with you later. Now, Potter..."

Harry gulped as Voldemort looked him in the eye.

"See what I have become?" the face said. "Mere shadow and vapor ... I have form only when I can share another's body ... but there have always been those willing to let me into their hearts and minds... Unicorn blood has strengthened me, these past weeks ... you saw faithful Quirrell drinking it for me in the Forest ... and once I have the Elixir of Life, I will be able to create a body of my own ... Now ... Why don't you go and get me the Philosopher's Stone from that mirror over there, hmm?"

Harry let out a strangled scream. Quirrell flicked his wand and the ropes binding Harry loosened, and Harry struggled to untangle himself from the mess. He walked shakily over to the mirror and stared at his reflection miserably.

One thing that Harry had made abundantly clear, was that he was terrible at concealing his emotions. It was obvious from the surprised look on his face, that he'd found something important. Apparently, Quirrell and Voldemort could see that too.

"Well?" said Quirrell impatiently. "What do you see?"

Harry was obviously making stuff up on the spot, if his frantic expression was to be believed.

"I see myself shaking hands with Dumbledore," he invented. "I – I've won the House Cup for Gryffindor."

Quirrell cursed again.

"He lies... He lies..." Voldemort said in a sing-song voice.

Harry started quivering, "I'm telling the truth!"

Voldemort made an odd noise that was probably meant to be tutting, "Harry, Harry, Harry. Silly boy, Lord Voldemort sees all. You can't lie to me. Now, why don't you give me that Stone in your pocket?"

Harry started backing away as Nico grinned. Things were about to get interesting.

He positioned his hand in such a way that it was pressed tightly against his leg, before twisting his wrist in one swift movement, effectively freeing his sword from its ring form. After a rather clumsy fumble, Nico managed to get a grip on his sword and hastily cut away the ropes. By now, Voldemort had resorted to verbally assaulting Harry by telling him about his parents' final moments, which was a big no-no in Nico's book.

"OI!" Nico yelled, successfully attracting Voldemort's ( and Harry's) attention, "No-Nose!"

"Mind your own business boy!"

"I'd rather not." Nico said, "Now will you please come over here so that I can show you what a minor threat I am?" he asked, waving his sword.

Voldemort ignored him, turning back to Harry.

Voldemort screamed, 'SEIZE HIM!' and, next second, Harry was on the floor, kicking and screaming, his eyes squeezed shut. Quirrell yelped and jumped back, clutching his hand as it blistered before their eyes. Harry panted, clutching his forehead in pain, trying to get back on his feet.

"Rude!" Nico yelled once again, "I'm talking to you here!" he shouted, racing towards the self-proclaimed 'Dark Lord'. Puh-lease. As if a loser like him could ever be a real dark lord.

Voldemort groaned, "Insolent child! I'm trying to fight someone here!"

Quirrell grabbed hold of Harry's neck, while somehow managing to object, "Actually master, I'm the one-"

"SHUT UP AND KILL HIM ALREADY YOU FOOL!"

Nico gave Quirrell a kick, sending him tumbling backwards, and Nico watched with morbid glee as Voldemort's face met the floor with a squish.

Quirrell groaned, and instinctively began to massage his head, inadvertently rubbing the palm of his hand all over Voldemort's face.

Voldemort's garbled voice shouted in outrage, "Stop rubbing your palm all over me and get that Stone!"

"But my Lord, I can't touch him!"

"Then kill him and finish this ridiculous charade!"

Nico then did something that Lord Voldemort wouldn't forget for as long as he lived. He walked straight up to him, and punched him square on the non-existent nose.

Voldemort yowled, and Quirrell stumbled in shock, clutching his head, and inadvertently poking Voldemort's nostrils, making him howl even louder. Voldemort's outburst had made Quirrell miscast the spell, and Harry and Nico were left staring at the yowling wizard. Or was it wizards...

Harry stumbled to his feet, "Nico! Let's get out of here!"

Nico nodded, feeling a bit disappointed that he wouldn't get to insult Voldemort any further.

He turned to follow Harry, when he noticed someone grabbing onto his robes, using them to pull himself up.

Quirrell let out a guttural scream and launched himself at Harry, with Nico on his tail. While Quirrell and Harry did some rather unorthodox wrestling, Nico used the opportunity to annoy Voldemort further by bonking him on the head with his sword.

Voldemort screeched, and the place where he had been hit on the head with the sword began to steam. It was as though someone had turned a lightbulb on in his head. Stygian Iron could absorb souls! It was so incredibly simple, now that he thought about it.

On the floor next to him, Harry pressed his hands to the sides of Quirrell's face, and if they both hadn't been yelling, Nico would have worried that Harry was going to kiss Quirrell. Thankfully, that didn't happen. Instead, both Quirrell and Voldemort began to scream in agony, along with Harry, which was making it very hard for Nico to concentrate.

"Could you get anymore annoying?" Voldemort gasped out.

"I'm about to get a lot more annoying right now." Nico retorted, pressing his sword against Voldemort's face and watching with satisfaction as his gruesome face melted out of the back of Quirrell's head and flowed into his sword.

"Well," he said casually, "that was gross."

He gave Harry a nod of approval, as he watch Quirrell dissolve into dust, like an ancient Greek monster. But then Harry went and messed it up by passing out.

"Oh boy." he muttered, examining his sword with a sigh, "Does this mean that Voldy's soul is trapped in my sword now?" he asked, eyeing it with disgust, "I did not think this through, did I?"

"Well, that won't do." he mumbled, "Now, what to do, what to do?"

He snapped his fingers, "I know! Maybe if I tell it to leave, it'll listen!"

"Uh..." he said awkwardly, "Voldemort's soul, you can go now. Be peaceful, or whatever. Honestly, you could rot in Tartarus for all I care, but... eh, I'll let dad deal with the paperwork part of this problem."

The sword remained unmoved.

Nico groaned, "Maybe in Greek." He mused, before repeating the same thing in Ancient Greek.

Oddly enough, that actually did work, and Nico observed as a wispy substance rose up from the sword and wobbled away, sinking into the ground.

As Nico sheathed his sword and moved to help Harry, the doors burst open and a frantic Dumbledore burst through them with a crazed look on his face.

A.N:

Hey guys!

Sorry about getting your hopes up about this being the last chapter. I was planning on doing that, but... yeah, ran out of time.

Sorry if this chapter was super weird, I was in a pretty weird mood while writing this, so... I guess it shows.

If you're wondering why Nico was so laid back in the middle of a fight, he's a DEMIGOD. This sort of thing comes naturally to him, and compared to a demigod battle, facing a weird professor and a part of a soul with a superiority complex attached to the back of the aforementioned weirdo's head would probably seem like child's play to him, barely worth any effort.

The next chapter will be the last one of this book! Yay! Also, I'll try to get it done before next Wednesday, because I have another set of exams from then. Seriously, my school always has something or the other going on. It's annoying, believe me, I know.

As usual, please review!

-Keera