"The Ventriloquist was set up," Commissioner Gordon said, handing a paper to Batman. "He claims he received this earlier today."
Batman scanned the paper, which gave the details of when and where the mob bosses would be meeting. There were also instructions on how to ensure the mob bosses would be arrested. Clearly, the Ventriloquist had ignored that particular section, in favor of killing his competitors.
Batman's eyes rested on the bottom of the note, which was signed "Chump Catcher". "Who's 'Chump Catcher'?" he asked.
"No clue," Gordon said. "Polka Dot Man's note was signed 'Curve Connoisseur'. Someone's obviously hiding their real name."
"I'll bet the other two notes mentioned condiments and Catwoman," Batman said.
"All words that start with 'C', you mean?" Gordon asked. "I noticed that, too. You have any idea what it means?"
"It's a literal C-list," Batman said. "And I'm pretty sure I know who made it."
The Riddler was trying to calm himself down with one of his favorite activities: reading an Encyclopedia Brown book. A simple puzzle mystery was exactly what this situation called for.
The situation did not call for Batman, but he arrived anyway.
"Nigma," a raspy voice whispered from the shadows.
Riddler only screamed a little, before regaining his composure. "B-b-b-Batman! I-i-in my apartment! This is an unexpected surprise!"
"This isn't a social call," Batman said.
Oh, crap. He's here to arrest me! AGAIN! Riddler thought.
"You can't arrest me! I haven't broken the law!" Riddler said.
"That's not what I heard," Batman said. "You were involved in a big cryptocurrency theft recently."
"Riddle me this, Batman," Riddler said. "How is that case like a dead battery?"
"There are no charges," Batman said instantly.
Hm. I guess that riddle was too easy, Riddler thought. I should have gone for "the case is a dead end" riddle, instead.
"Exactly," Riddler said. "Lex Luthor will never press charges against me. As far as the law is concerned, it's case closed."
Batman's eyes narrowed. "And why would Luthor go out of his way to protect you? Last I heard, he thinks you're nothing but a worthless C-lister."
"I'm not a C-List Villain!" the Riddler shouted. "I am one of the greatest supervillains of all time!"
Batman resisted the urge to grin. Tricking the Riddler into confessing was all too easy.
"That's why you went after the Penguin and the others, isn't it?" Batman asked.
"They think they're so much better than me!" Riddler said. "I took advantage of their arrogance. The irony was delicious, Batman! The self-proclaimed A-listers, brought low by D-listers! And all of it was part of a grand master plan, orchestrated by me! No one will underestimate me again! Ha ha ha!"
"Riddler, I never thought of you as a C-List villain," Batman said. "You're definitely in the B-List."
Riddler stopped in the middle of his wild rant. "I am?" he asked.
"Yes," Batman said.
Technically, it was true. The Batcomputer's sorting algorithm gave a few extra priority points to Riddler. Not because he was dangerous, but because he was a legacy villain.
"Why, if they ever made a Batman movie, it'd probably have you as the main villain!" Batman said. He was too kind to point out that a 2022 movie would have to totally redesign the Riddler character to make him seem threatening.
Riddler's face was the picture of joy. "I...I'm not a C-Lister! I'm not a C-Lister!" he cried. "I'm a real villain!"
"You sure are," Batman said. "And you know what that means?"
"I've earned the respect of all my—" Riddler began to say.
*click*
Riddler looked down to find himself in handcuffs.
"It means you're going to have to answer a lot of questions from the police, about what you've done in the past week," Batman said.
"Oh, come on!" Riddler said. "All I did was help arrest a bunch of criminals. They should be thanking me!"
"Riddle me this," Batman said. "What do you call it when a thief is killed prior to stealing a bracelet?"
Riddler considered the oddly-phrased question. "Are you saying I'm an accessory to murder before the fact?" he asked.
Batman nodded.
"Phooey," Riddler said.
The End