-Day 5-
-Santana pov-
We are at school and my was hurts. That is the two things I know. My Mami said she was going to bust my bottom and I said I was too old. She proved me wrong with a belt and lashings to my bare bottom.
She at least helped me fix my tigger suit. Coach is going to be so passed when she sees or hears I wore this. I really just wanted to do the plan. It stuck out to me majorly.
I take a deep breath and pull the hood down. I bounce over to rachels locker and stop. I can see the smile spreading across her face. She lifts my hood some and I feel heat rush around my face.
"You think jumping over to me will get me?" I shake my head and she raises a eyebrow "So what is this trick?"
"Trying to show I would jump over the moon for you" She chuckles and I fist pump "I did it! I got a chuckle out of you!"
"Tiggers are my favorite thing" She smiles sweetly before frowning "But I Uh..I have good news and bad news..which do you want first?"
"Good news" Rachel shows a New Directions paper "You are in a club"
"Yeah" She puts it back into her stuff "Bad news is I am also with someone"
"What?" Tell me I did not hear that right "What did you just say Rachel?"
"Santana please" I can feel my walls building and anger boiling "Just calm down and listen"
"No you listen here Manhands!" I push her into the lockers "I have tried everyday to prove I want you! I have tried to prove I truly like you! What did Finn do huh? Grope you better? Did you offer Noah a blowjob for popularity? What you going to cry? How about you go cry to Jesse!"
"Santana!" I get pulled back by Brittany as Rachel shakes in front of me "What was that for?!"
"She is dating some bozo!" I get close again but Brittany holds me back "I look like a fool for you! You deserve nothing bitch! You will never be as talented as anyone from this school! You will never be beautiful either! You will always be a troll!"
"It was you" My anger leaves and confusion sets in "I had a whole thing planned that the bad news is that I am with someone, you say who, and I say a girl but she just does not know it yet..you would ask who and get jealous...I was going to ask you out"
Well damn I am a asshole now "Rach I am sorry" She takes off running down the hall and gets met with a slushy "Rachel!"
"You messed up" Brittany pushes me backwards and walks away "Figure out how to fix your own shit"
I watch her run after Rachel and I fall to the floor. I just fucked up everything. I stay there for a minute before I get up. I can not fix this ever.
I truly have screwed myself over.
-Time skip-
"Alright Santana?" I look up at Shelby "You said you had a song for a solo piece?"
I nod and walk up to the front. Rachel sent it to me last night. Mami was with me to see it. I am grounded from technology right now. I sigh and pick up the guitar beside me.
-Santana pov-
Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you?
Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you're screaming?
No, you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt, to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No, you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over?
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding
No, you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt, to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No, you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
No one ever lied straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy, but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work, it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like
To be hurt, to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No, you don't know what it's like (What it's like)
To be hurt, to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No, you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
"I am tired of hiding my pain and struggles" I place the guitar down and run out of the room "I have to tell her!"
I run all the way through the hallways. I remember every slushy I have ever given her. I remember every name I have ever called her. I remember everything I have done wrong.
Yet she could forgive me. Yet she could say she likes me. She could get ready to ask me out. She could be strong when I broke down.
I reach the door and freeze as I look inside the club room for New directions.
-Finn singing-
Wise men say
Only fools rush in
But I can't help falling in love with you
Shall I stay?
Would it be a sin
If I can't help falling in love with you?
Like a river flows
Surely to the sea
Darling, so it goes
Some things are meant to be
Take my hand,
Take my whole life, too
For I can't help falling in love with you
Like a river flows
Surely to the sea
Darling, so it goes
Some things are meant to be
Take my hand,
Take my whole life, too
For I can't help falling in love with you
For I can't help falling in love with you
"That was great Finn!" Everyone claps and Rachel walks up to Finn "Time for what comes next!"
"I think that was wonderful Finn" Rachel gives a fake smile and I can see she what she is about to do "I think that maybe we could give us another chance!"
"Really?" Rachel nods and Finn spins her around "Thank you! Thank you so much! I will make you so happy!"
"You could have been him" I turn and see Quinn glaring at me "Now she forgives everyone but you! Way to go pal!"
"Please..just leave me" I feel my knees go out and fall into her arms with sobs "Just let me fall! I do not want to live anymore! Just let me die! Please just let me die!"
"We both know that Finn is not who she wants" Quinn sighs and rocks me in her arms "This just means we all have to work extra hard ok?"
"You think I can still get her?" Quinn nods and I sniffle "Alright...let's do this"
Quinn nods and we walk away from the room. I have to get my head on straight. I have to do this the right way. No more playing in the grey.
I will get Rachel to be mine by Christmas!