A/N: Just a lil one or two shot based on last week's episodes.

Stabler Family Christmas Get Together.

The house was silent as Kathleen came in.

She'd been halfway home by the time she realized she forgot her wallet and phone at her dads.

The last kid to leave their family Christmas gathering, she, her dad, Eli, and Liv had sat chatting into the early hours of the morning.

Noah had long fallen asleep on Liv's lap and Eli was dozing when they finally decided to call it a night around 1am.

She wasn't necessarily surprised to see Liv's car still parked outside of her dad's building- mostly surprised that he's talked her into staying longer.

Kathleen Stabler wasn't stupid. Neither were her siblings, for that matter.

And while they all missed their mom dearly and were rightfully traumatized by her death, they appreciated Liv's place within their family circle and figured she, at least, was better than Angela Wheatley, and at most would be a hell of a step mom to Eli and partner to their dad.

Noah was still asleep on the couch when she came in, covered up snuggly, and the Benson's coats and shoes were set neatly by the door.

Taking a deep breath, Kathleen made her way into the kitchen to grab her items when Elliot appeared in the doorway of his room.

"Hey," he whispered. "You okay?" He asked, walking towards her.

She took note of her father's shirtless and sweatpants clad figure and raised a brow, the corner of her lip curling up.

Liv appeared behind him, seemingly from out of nowhere, in one of his oversized t-shirts and a pair of his sweats.

"Kathleen," she said breathlessly and the younger woman couldn't help her laughter.

"Kathleen nothing… we… it's late and your dad.. we were just catching up…" she trailed off when she held up a hand.

"Live your best lives," she said with a snicker, moving to hug Liv tightly. "It's okay…" she said into her ear, winking as she pulled away.

"Bye daddy," she said, pecking his cheek before heading out.

Liv exhaled the breath she was holding and looked at Elliot.

"I'm gonna kill you," she whispered and he chuckled softly.

"My friend Olivia, we're just chatting," he smiled, gently grasping her fingers.

"You're a pain in my ass," she said through smile.

"C'mon…" he said, taking her hand fully and leading her back to his room.

Curling on the side she was on, she watched him strip back to his underwear and adverted her eyes.

"Like I said, I'm a space heater. You don't want me in clothes."

"Mhm," she teased, rolling on her side to face him and get comfortable. "Where were we?" She asked.

"Brian Cassidy," he said, his lips turning up into a smirk.

"Brian Cassidy," she affirmed. "He was… he wasn't a bad guy. But… after Lewis… it wasn't the same. I couldn't ever open up to him and then," she sighed. "Then you know I thought I was pregnant and I wasn't but, he was so damn relieved. I just knew we weren't on the same page."

"Lewis?" He questioned.

Liv sucked in a deep breath. "You don't know?"

He sat up on one arm, looking at her with concern on his face. "Know what…"

"Maybe now isn't the best time El…" she said simply and he shook his head, scooting closer to her. "Tell me…"

Biting her lip, she looked down. "El I… I was kidnapped a few years after you left."

His breath hitched and he looked down at her, moving impossibly closer and wrapping his arms tightly around her.

"Liv…" he breathed out.

His touch and proximity to her made her body tingle- a welcomed change of feeling from her regular anxiety whenever his name was mentioned.

Without thinking, she nuzzled into him and began to tell the story.

Their tears fell simultaneously as she spoke and his grip on her tightened.

When she finished, they were both in full tears and he was shaking his head, apologizing over and over again.

They lay quietly until they both calmed, and he released his grip on her ever so slightly.

"I have to tell you something else," she whispered and felt him tense.

"The Ed I was talking about at the hospital," she said carefully, looking up to him.

"No…" he whispered and she couldn't help her giggle as he wiped a stray tear from her eyes. "Yes…"

"Ed Tucker…." He said more than questioned, trying to shake the images from his brain.

"What are you thinking?" She asked with a soft laugh.

"That Ed Tucker got to touch you before me," he sighed.

"What am I a conquest??" She said accusatorially with a smile.

"No, no… just… Ed???"

"He was a really good man, El… who had to do his job and handle two boarder-line rogue cops."

"We had fun though," he commented.

"Something like that," she said with a smile. "He was so good with Noah," she continued, her voice breaking a bit.

"Why did you end it," he said questioned leaning his head back to look at her but keeping their lower bodies touching and legs intertwined.

"He wanted to retire," she said simply with a sigh. "Settle down and live happily ever after with Noah and… maybe more? There was just something that wasn't sitting right. I didn't want to retire but.. I had a 6th sense."

"That he would die?" He asked, knowing her like a book.

"Something like that. He met a woman and married her- lived happily but, then he got brain cancer. Ate his gun," she sighed.

"Liv I'm so sorry," he whispered moving his hand from her waist to hold hers that was tucked between them.

"Everything happens for a reason you know. Noah… he really struggled with the dad thing as he got older and I can't imagine him truly being Ed's son and then losing him."

El nodded slowly. "What about his dad… he's adopted I know but…"

"Criminal. Trafficker. Just evil," she sighed. "But you can't tell an 8 year old that. So 'he's in a heaven' and 'I'm sure he loved you very much,'" she said, quoting herself.

His heart broke some how even more and he nodded. "He's amazing Liv. I can't believe how much I love him already," he said thoughtfully and felt her instinctively inch herself a bit closer, pressing a free palm to his bare chest.

"He had so much fun today," she said softly.

Elliot's smile was radiant and genuine. "I'm glad… he and Eli really hit it off… speaking of, what did the say to you?"

Her smile matched his as she relayed back the conversation she'd had outside with his youngest.

"I just… I wanted to say thank you. I know I was kinda a jerk but… just thank you."

She smiled and gently squeezed his arm. "Eli you don't have to thank me. I'll always be here for you and your dad and your siblings."

"You… you really ground him. He's able to chill around you and I'm less nervous about his temper when you're there," he sighed softly.

Liv's heart broke. "I've known your dad a lot of years… I learned how to calm him down. So if he's ever going crazy," she said with laughter in her voice and saw a hint of a smile form on his face, "call me and I'll whip him into shape."

He looked into her eyes and nodded. "Thank you… Liv thank you. I'm really looking forward to getting to know you as well as my siblings do," he smiled small.

"And I'm looking forward to getting to know you as well as I know them," she said genuinely.

Without warning, his arms were wrapped around her tightly and his head was buried in her shoulder.

Gasping slightly, she hugged him back and tears formed in her eyes. "I've loved you since the day you were born, Eli… whatever you need I'm here. Okay?"

He pulled back, wiping his eyes quickly and nodded. "Thank you…Noah's really cool by the way," he smiled shyly at the ground.

Liv laughed. "He's already obsessed with you. Sorry in advance," she teased.

El nodded slowly and leaned his forehead to hers, breathing her in in an effort to keep his tears at bay.

"I'm sorry that we didn't keep in touch… that you didn't get to see him grow up Liv I… I look at him and I look at Noah and I curse myself cause… we should have been there. Eli deserved to have you in his life. I should have been there, with you on that case when you found Noah. They should have grown up at best friends I just," he sighed. "Liv at the end of the day I wasn't strong enough to stay away from you."

"But you had for 12 years," she said, just below a whisper. "Elliot, I accepted that I would never have you after you told me about Eli and went home to Kathy. That we would be best friends and that was okay, because I'd rather have your friendship and your family then not have you at all. And I wouldn't have let you cheat on your wife El… but you made that decision for me," she sighed in a smidge of frustration.

"I know… I know," he whispered, gently knocking his nose with hers.

"And the letter… El why…"

He sighed and rolled on his back, still holding her hand. "This story is embarrassing," he whispered.

"Stabler nothing is more embarrassing than that letter," she said, causing him to chuckle.

"Fair. I uh… I did a really good job of hiding my feelings about you for 10 years. But I still thought about you ever second of every damn day. And uh… you know we decided to come to the ceremony and all was good and then uh," he groaned lightly, covering his face with his hand.

"And??"

"I had a dream and woke up with a raging hard on and an angry wife telling me I was moaning your name and humping the mattress," he rushed out, stealing a glance up at her.

She remained stoic for several moments before her resolve broke and she lost it, burying her face in the pillow and laughing hysterically.

"Benson," he muttered, nudging her with a groan. He happened to hit a ticklish spot on her side that made her squeal and laugh harder.

Seizing his opportunity, he rolled her onto her back and began tickling her, causing her face to go red from how hard she was silently laughing.

Before either of them knew it, they were struggling for dominance in their tickle fight, and his body ended up on top of her's with her hands pinned above her head as she laughed.

They both took a moment to catch their breaths and realized the new level of intimacy they'd reached. Stopping, he gently released her and bit his lip, admiring her smile and red face from laughing.

Her hips inadvertently bucked upwards when she felt him twitch and her breathing visibly picked up.

"Suddenly not as mad about the letter… I don't blame her," she said in a husky voice, trying to get her mind out of the gutter it was slipping into.

"That's a relief," he whispered, moving his hand to her waist and gently moving his hips.

"El…" she said warningly.

"I know," he nodded, leaning down to kiss her cheek. "But I need you to know, that in this universe or a parallel one… it's always been you and I. And I'll do whatever I have to do to make you believe that."

He rolled off her slowly and her hand went to her cheek where his lips had touched. She was breathless and her panties were dampening.

"C'mon… let's go to sleep," he said softly. "You're alarms all set?"

She nodded, shaking free of her thoughts and rolling to face him. "Yeah… as long as you can bring Noh in before everyone wakes up and move to the couch we'll be okay…"

"Whatever you need," he said with a small smile. "But can I hold you until then? It's only 4 hours," he said, looking towards the clock that now read 2:30.

Biting her lip, she nodded and scooted over to him, wrapping an arm around his middle.

They woke to her alarm at 6:30. At some point in the night, they'd rolled so they he was spooning her.

His hard cock was pressed between her pump cheeks, his hand was dangerously close to her chest and holding hers, and his nose was nuzzled into her neck.

She moaned softly as she fumbled for her phone to shut off the alarm before a stab of arousal made her eyes open and her mind become aware of the compromising position they were in.

"Elliot," she whispered and opened his eyes slowly. "Morning," he said softly into her neck as he came to.

"Morning," she said softly, not wanting him to move.

"You're comfy," he whispered, his hips rocking lightly.

"El," she said breathlessly.

"Hmmm," he asked, pressing a gentle kiss to her neck.

"The kids are in the house…"

He froze and she felt him smile. Rolling her on her back, he looked down at her. "You're not saying no…" he trailed off and she rolled her eyes. "You look really damn kissable right now.."

"Go get Noah."

"One kiss... it's the perfect moment," he practically begged.

She bit her lip, her eyes trailed up from where their bodies were touching to his eyes. "If I kiss you right now I'm not going to be able to stop," she said honestly.

"Would that be such a bad thing," he asked and she bit her lip harder as her alarm buzzed again.

Smiling sleepily, he leaned over her and kissed her cheek before standing. She tried not to stare at his twitching manhood as he got dressed, but it was no use. Winking with a soft laugh, he went to retrieve Noah from the couch.

Her heart melted at the image of him carrying her son, and when he laid him down, he snuggled into Liv. "Mom," he whispered.

"Right here baby," she said, kissing his head.

"I love the Stablers," he said in his half asleep state.

Liv looked up at El who desperately trying, and failing, to hold back his tears. Leaning over the Benson's he kissed the side of Noah's head. "The Stablers love you, buddy," he whispered.

Their breakfast and goodbye had been significantly less awkward than anticipated.

Noah and Eli had played video games while Liv and El drank their coffee and avoided Bernie's knowing looks.

When it was time to go, El and Eli promised Noah they'd seen him again soon, and he returned the sentiment with huge hugs.

Liv spent most of the next day trying to busy herself and keep her mind in a place of friendship and away from how fucking incredible she knew Elliot would feel kissing her and touching her.

The truth was, aside from her aching core, the four hours of sleep she got in Elliot's arms were better than any other sleep she'd gotten in years and she feared she was now addicted to sleeping in his strong arms.

They'd been texting throughout the day, and when she got out of the shower, she laughed at the missed texts from him.

E: Thank you for coming over. And staying. And opening up. And letting me meet Noah. And letting me hold you.

E: I know we're calling this a friendship for now and that's good, we need it but damn.

E: Waking up with you in my arms… my cock against your ass...

E: Cant stop thinking about you.

E: Minds in the gutter.

E: When can I see you again? Eli is at Dickies.

E: They want Noah to come hang out. Can he?

L: Let me ask him.

She threw on sweats and wrapped a towel around her head. "Noh," she called, walking into the living room.

"Hey mom, Eli texted and asked if I wanted to hang out with him and Dickie tonight… can I mom can I please?" He practically begged, jumping up and down.

"When did you two exchange numbers," she chuckled and he grinned.

"This morning… please???"

She took a deep breath and nodded slowly. "Sure baby I think that's fine."

He jumped up and down, running into his room to call his new friend. Liv texted El back.

L: Sure- Eli beat me to it and texted Noah.

E: Nice! They'll be over to get him soon.

E: Can we hang out?

E: As friends

E: Who cuddle

L: You're insufferable. Bring dinner.

There was a knock about a half out later and Noah rushed to the door, tossing it open with a grin.

"Noah! You have to check who it is!" She called with a laugh, walking to the door.

"Just us, Liv," Dickie chuckled.

"You sure you wanna hang with an 8 year old?" She asked, teasingly.

"Mooom," Noah groaned causing the older boys to laugh. "Definitely," Eli said with a smile and nod.

"Okay… be good and I'll pick you up tomorrow," she said, kissing his head.

"Bye mom, love you!"

"Bye Liv!" Eli said cheerfully, heading down the hall.

"Dickie thank you… call me if he's any trouble please?"

"He'll be fine Liv," he nodded with a smile. "Have fun with dad tonight," he teased and Liv rolled her eyes, going red.

"Hey… we love you," he nodded. "You're good for him," he said, waving as he walked to follow the boys.

She took a deep breath and shut the door, texting him.

L: They just got him. I hope all of your children know that nothing happened last night!!

E: They do, my friend Olivia.

She smiled, rolling her eyes, and tossed down her phone.

She answered the door to his knock, finding him leaned against the door frame with a stupid grin on his face.

"Like you better when you show up at my door beardless and sober," she winked, stepping back to allow him in

"Will you ever let me forget it?" He asked, setting down the food in her kitchen.

"Uh no," she smiled.

"Can I hug you," he asked and she laughed softly. "I guess," she said, faking disdain, but melting into his arms anyways.

"I never wanted to get out of bed this morning," he whispered into her hair, "I slept so good."

"Me too," she admitted, pressing a kiss to his chest and making him shiver.

"C'mon, let's eat," he said, taking a step back and turning quickly in an effort to hide his tenting sweats.

"You're like a teenage boy," she teased and he breathed out a chuckle, handing her a carton of Chinese. "Well, you're stunning and the love of my life so," he muttered shyly, "and I finally get to hold you and react the way I need to with zero guilt."

His eyes remained on his food and she gently grasped a strong forearm, giving him a gentle smile. "El I'm really glad you're back," she said softly.

Looking down at her, he smiled small. "Me too, Liv…" he said, turning to face her.

"Let's eat and then we can practice cuddling," she said shyly and he smiled a bit bigger.

They sat on the couch, ate, and then snuggled in together, barely paying attention to the cheesy rom com they put on.

His fingers were tracing small circles on her back, and her's were matching the movements on his chest.

"When did you know," she asked softly.

"Know what?"

"That you had feelings for me?"

Slipping his hand under her shirt to touch her bare skin, he nodded slowly. "I always knew. But, I guess when I thought lost you in that damn subway station," he said softly. "You?"

"Same… the warehouse."

They remained quiet, until she suddenly stood up and reached her hand out to him.

"Show me…"

Silently, he took it and followed her as she led him to her bedroom, shutting the door.

Christmas Eve: Stabler Residence

"Mom, you're sure Santa will know we're here?" Noah asked for the 100th time as he sat with El's grandkids and decorated cookies.

"Baby he's Santa. Of course he'll know you're here. But if you're worried, we can go home," she said, giving him the same response as the other 99 times.

He shook his head. "No I wanna stay..." he nodded decisively.

The kids and Elliot (and Bernie) had insisted the Bensons join them for Christmas Eve, and spend the night and next day with them.

Despite Olivia's objections, they informed her it'd be a welcomed reprieve from missing their mom on the first Christmas without her.

"You don't have to," El had said, the previous night as they lay together, naked and still coming down from their highs.

"I want to... I just... I feel like this is going fast..."

He frowned. "We can stop having sex," he offered sadly.

Sitting up on one arm from where she was laying on his chest, she pouted. "Well I don't want that I just..." she trailed off.

"You just what?" He asked, cupping her neck and jaw with one strong hand.

"I just don't want my son to get hurt, El, I... I don't want to get hurt..."

Smiling small, he gently rolled on top of her and held her face.

"Olivia Margaret... I swear on my life I'll never hurt you again...or that little boy. Ever. Ever ever ever."

"The things that's messing me up is... I believe you. And I feel stupid for falling back into this so quickly..."

"That's understandable," he said, kissing her lips softly.

"I'm just being silly," she sighed and he shook his head. "No... you're being a rational, good mom."

"You're just trying to get in my pants," she teased and he laughed. "Benson I'm already in them."

She looked up from the boys and made eye contact with him, from across the room. He was dressed in a dark green button up with a goofy Santa tie that one of the kids had gotten him.

He looked like a total dad and grandpa, and Liv couldn't be more attracted to him if she tried.

She'd chosen a deep red velvet shirt with a black skirt and tights for the evening. Noah had been sporting a matching shirt and tie, until Maureen surprised all of the younger kids, including Eli much to his dismay, with matching Pajamas.

"C'mon Eli you gotta match us!" Noah said excitedly to his new best friend.

"Yeah come on Uncle Eli come on!!!" His nephews shouted.

"Fiiiiine," he conceded, trying to hide the smile on his face.

Liv took a seat next to Elliot on the couch and they watched the kids, older 4 included, decorate cookies with his grandkids and her son.

Her breath hitched when she felt his arm that was on the back of the couch sink to her shoulders as he leaned into whisper in her ear.

"Merry Christmas, Olivia. I love you."

Her head turned to face him, inches from his lips but both knowing better than to make out in front of their children, and she smiled as tears came to her eyes.

"Merry Christmas, El..." she said softly.

Their moment was interrupted by Noah who climbed up between them and looked up at his mom. "Mom... Elliot can't sleep on the couch tonight," he said nervously. "Santa won't come if he sees him there," he sighed.

Elliot slowly looked up at his kids and son in law who were snickering at the counter as the little boys continued to decorate cookies.

Shooting daggers from his eyes, he turned his attention back to Noah, resting a hand on his back. "Buddy it'll be okay... I'm an adult so it's all good.." he said encouragingly, but Noah wasn't having it.

"Dad we can set up that extra air mattress in your room for you," Lizzie said, ever stoically as the other kids continued to giggle.

Through a tight smile, he nodded. "Great idea, Liz," he said, clearing his throat.

"Oh shoot," Kathleen said, trying to control her laughter, "I think it's at my house?"

Olivia was the shade of her shirt at this point, and the oblivious 8 year old in her lap shrugged. "Why don't you guys just have a sleepover, you're best friends," he shrugged.

"I'm sure Elliot won't mind sleeping on the floor," Liv said, now knowing their poorly played jig was up. "What do you think El?" She asked, looking at him.

Noah was throughly confused. "But mom Elliot has like the biggest bed I've ever seen?"

"Buddy how about you finish decorating cookies and El and I will figure out the sleeping situation?" She directed more than asked and he nodded, returning to the kitchen island.

She relaxed against him, playfully flipping off his kids when the younger three weren't looking.

"We are best friends though..." he whispered to her, "huh, my friend Olivia."

She craned her neck to look up at him, giving a sly smile. "Only best friends?"

"You tell me."

Shrugging, she nestled back against him. "Never cut a hole in the crotch of my tights and gone panty-less for any of my other best friends," she said casually into his ear before turning her attention back to the kids.

His hand tightened on her shoulder and his bit his lip, trying desperately to control his breathing.

"Oh and El?" She said, looking back at him again.

"Hmm..." he asked, crossing one leg across his other in an effort to conceal the boner he was now sporting.

She put her mouth close to his ear again and smiled. "I love you too."

Smutty Christmas chapter 2?